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Okay im getting kinda spooked by the people who live across the street from me, I think they may be vampires. My apt is slightly above theirs and they never close any of their blinds so i have completely clear view into their apartment and I have noticed the following 1. NEver seen any of them (not sure how many are there, if anyone knows the approx # of vampires typically in a nest please let me know) during daylight hours 2. the only time they seem to come into the common area is after midnight andthen they only turn on 1 light 3. I've only seen a resident of the place 1 time, it was very late at night and he was making a phonecall on the balcony. He looked to be young and possibly slavic (!!!) 4. Instead of things like couches and chairs and televisions like normal people have in their living room, they have two beds against the walls (vampire orgies anyone??) also it is a 2 bedroom apt for reeference 5.Seriously no one is ever home, probably because htey are out doing spooky vampire things when they arent hiding during the daylight hours. what should I do GBS? Do I have a case of vampire neighbors? Should I invenst in holy water? I grill steaks on my balcony at least once a week and cook with a lot of garlic, so I assume I am safe for the time being, but any advice is really appreciated so I dont end up VAMPCHOW!!!
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:18 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 16:46 |
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idk flamingo man i think a vampire orgy would be fun and exhilarating
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:19 |
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I'd have Evil Ed check that scene out, he's somewhat of an expert.
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:21 |
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i hear gays have a similar effect to garlic on vampires so u should be ok OP. or maybe it's the opposite and they really want your dong idk.
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:21 |
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Sucj their dicks until they cum and if they cum tastes like blood then they're definitely NOT vampires but carrying HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:22 |
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Nooner posted:Okay im getting kinda spooked by the people who live across the street from me, I think they may be vampires. My apt is slightly above theirs and they never close any of their blinds so i have completely clear view into their apartment and I have noticed the following Find out if there is an entrance to the sewers close to their apartment block. If there is then there is no doubt that they are vampires. If not they could be vampires. I suggest conducting an experiment. This will let you know for sure. Stab one of them in the heart with a wooden steak (not the ones you grill at least once a week, but the sharp and pointy wooden stick things). If they burst into flames/ashes then they are 100% a vampire family. If they don't then they are probably just a thrall of the vampire cult and you saved them. Its the most win-win science could possibly be.
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:25 |
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contact HIV, the virus that causes ALDI's. vampires can't stand HIV it tastes like cilantro to them
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:27 |
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you're safe as long as you don't invite them into your apartment
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:27 |
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i've been infected... with low prices
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:27 |
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Hell Yeah posted:i've been infected... with low prices
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:27 |
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Nooner posted:reeference smokin mad reeference heh
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:28 |
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I remember that episode of "Are You Afraid of the Dark" too, OP
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:29 |
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proof of concept posted:you're safe as long as you don't invite them into your apartment well I mean, I already said that the only one over there I have seen looked like he might be a slav, so obvs I would never invite them in
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:29 |
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the ALDI's virus causes deadly savings
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:30 |
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Nooner posted:well I mean, I already said that the only one over there I have seen looked like he might be a slav, so obvs I would never invite them in even is she looked like THIS??? you;re a stronger man than I
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:32 |
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proof of concept posted:even is she looked like THIS??? oooh weee got that smoky pussy
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:34 |
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i have the same problem OP. I got this the other day for them, the silver bullets on the left being key
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:34 |
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Roddy McDowell is no longer with us You are SOL
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:35 |
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proof of concept posted:even is she looked like THIS??? there is a sleazy motel about a mile from me that advertises in-room hot tubs, so probably just take her there instead of invite her in
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:36 |
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proof of concept posted:you're safe as long as you don't invite them into your apartment no i think that's the FBI
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:38 |
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Become a werewolf and if they look at u in disgust and say "ugh there goes the neighborhood" then u kno they vamps 2 spooky 4 the D
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:40 |
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Nooner posted:there is a sleazy motel about a mile from me that advertises in-room hot tubs, so probably just take her there instead of invite her in I feels ya the problem though is when you hear a knock at the door out of nowhere and answer and that's what you see when you open up, I mean, what's a fella to do??
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:41 |
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Geoff Zahn posted:Become a werewolf and if they look at u in disgust and say "ugh there goes the neighborhood" then u kno they vamps they arent allowed to say that, I was here first, they only moved in like 6 months ago .... which is when the spooky behaviors started.....
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:42 |
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If they don't close the shades they ain't vamps. Watch the house constantly. If they have sex on the ceiling they are probably vampires.
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:48 |
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Buy lots of garlic bulbs, give them as a present to the neighbours ... their reaction should be a giveaway
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:54 |
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SirEvelynTremble posted:Buy lots of garlic bulbs, give them as a present to the neighbours ... their reaction should be a giveaway they are across the alley way from me, but I bet if I got a big enough bulb and a slingshot I could smash one through their sliding glass door. Ifthey get mad about it it is proof theyare vampires, right??
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:56 |
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Do they go to highschool? If they do, they are probs vampires.
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 18:57 |
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Nooner posted:they are across the alley way from me, but I bet if I got a big enough bulb and a slingshot I could smash one through their sliding glass door. Ifthey get mad about it it is proof theyare vampires, right?? Yes and time to go all loving Van Helsing on them
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 19:00 |
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as far as I can tell from the intellegence I have gathered so far, this is the layout of the apartment in question
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 19:04 |
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Nah, the lack of gothic architecture in those drawings clearly indicate it's probably just a flophouse.
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 19:08 |
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Nooner posted:as far as I can tell from the intellegence I have gathered so far, this is the layout of the apartment in question bed? or COFFIN????
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 19:12 |
Nooner posted:Okay im getting kinda spooked by the people who live across the street from me, I think they may be vampires. My apt is slightly above theirs and they never close any of their blinds so i have completely clear view into their apartment and I have noticed the following Find whatever reservoir or aquifer/substation supplies your neighborhood with water and bless it.
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 19:17 |
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yeah the classic vampire prevention technique is putting a cross or some other christian hocus-pocus on the door, so they can't return to that spot after their night of blood drinkin. they'll find another hidey-hole before dawn but at least they won't live across from you anymore.
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 19:26 |
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Hexel posted:Find whatever reservoir or aquifer/substation supplies your neighborhood with water and piss in it.
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 19:26 |
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Most vampires are actually hard working immigrants who pay taxes op
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 19:48 |
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I assure you we are not vampires. Please go back to sleep so we can not feed on you wile you're sleeping.
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 20:05 |
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My neighbors rarely see me, I have a mattress on the floor and no chairs, and I often do things at night. Im not a vampire, nor do I sparkle in the sunshine.
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 20:07 |
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drat nooner this sounds like trouble but luckily you've come to to the right dude, i'm something of an expert. 1. slavs are scary enough, but did he exhibit any other signs? i.e., looks like a skinny cobain, snacks on chocolate and cheap colas, turns into a gas to float from room to room, uses confusing magic words that make it hard to think like your head is mushy? 2. garlic and holy water don't do anything. vampires pretend to be afraid of holy water and crosses and such to troll van helsings and police officers, but the truth is they totally dig catholicism. bullets soaked in dead man's blood will hit them like a bee sting. stakes through the heart are the only way to kill them. 3. they're terrified of police werewolves. call the woofmen, get em over there, see how they react. woofmen can smell vampire powers like the butt of another woofman so just sit back and let them do their thing. 4. they have something called "the fire gift" where they can burn you up with their thoughts so don't be a frog brother and make yourself known to them. stay out of sight and don't ever introduce yourself 5. if the lady cobain is sexy, you can probably fool around with her safely if you make sure you've got a stake nearby and you don't tell her your real name. don't ever tell them your real name. names are where powers come from. pm me if you need any more assistance. I've dealt with neckbiters before, even ancient european ones, and i can totally help you out
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 20:07 |
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Op, they are grey market laborers. Relax
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 20:12 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 16:46 |
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Gatekeeper posted:drat nooner this sounds like trouble but luckily you've come to to the right dude, i'm something of an expert. Thank you for your help in my time of need. I think Jerry Mumphrey turned into a wereman yesterday but I dont know if he is a police officer, do you think I should call him up just in case? maybe get him a police uniform from the SPIRIT store will be enough to send them packing??
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# ? Aug 28, 2015 20:13 |