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a bay
Oct 14, 2014

by Lowtax
What are some effective but socially reaponsible way to defend yourself from a female attack

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FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams
Pull my finger.

1000 Sweaty Rikers
Oct 13, 2005

"I was wrong"

Sizone
Sep 13, 2007

by LadyAmbien
pee yourself/void bowels

proof of concept
Mar 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
eject your penis and as it flops around distracting them you can run the other way

XMNN
Apr 26, 2008
I am incredibly stupid
you need to make yourself appear physically bigger maybe bang some pot lids together theyre really quite timid

make sure you hang anything they might think is food in a tree far away from where youre planning to sleep

Digital Fingers
Sep 2, 2012

point behind her so she looks away then turn into a camaro

Roy
Sep 24, 2007
You grab her hand as she raises it like a wet noodle in order to hit you, then you shake her and say "get it together woman!" before delivering a firm but gentle slap to her bum

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
Make out with a dude so she can't play the feminism card.

Yolomon Wayne
Jun 10, 2014

You call it "The Big Bang", but what really happened is
Grimey Drawer
Feign a slap, perfom a quick decisive cuntpunt.

Digital Fingers
Sep 2, 2012

murder her, jsut murder the gently caress out of her, murder her until she fdead

Kirs
Dec 5, 2014

Apart from drinking, there is absolutely nothing to do here.
Pull the trigger

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010
Wear a fedora and women will leave you alone.

mobby_6kl
Aug 9, 2009



This should work assuming you're already wearing a thong.

Stick Figure Mafia
Dec 11, 2004

Digital Fingers
Sep 2, 2012

you cuntpunt her (lol) then you get in a steamroller and you steam roll her while you foam at the mouth

1000 Sweaty Rikers
Oct 13, 2005

mobby_6kl posted:



This should work assuming you're already wearing a thong.

This would also work against most goons

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011

I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.
punch them, they're weaker than men

Lil Bit O Vitriol
Jan 10, 2010
If you are in a developed area (e.g., campground, parking lot, lodging area) or if a female approaches you, act immediately to scare her away: make as much noise as possible by yelling very loudly (don't worry about waking people up if it's nighttime). If you are with other people, stand together to present a more intimidating figure, but do not surround the female.

Romes128
Dec 28, 2008


Fun Shoe
immediately poo poo and piss yourself

Motherfucker posted:

punch them, they're weaker than men


yes, both physically and emotionally

SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO
There is no self-defense against a woman ... their words are their weapons

e: earplugs?

monkeytennis
Apr 26, 2007


Toilet Rascal
Kick her in the oval office. Or run away. Both work. :shrug:

I am Toni Lippi
Aug 16, 2004

ArmedZombie
Jun 6, 2004

stone cold stun her

penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald
shotgun

Pneub
Mar 12, 2007

I'M THE DEVIL, AND I WILL WASH OVER THE EARTH AND THE SEAS WILL RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF ALL THE SINNERS

I AM REBORN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ka5i2s-nMac

boom boom boom
Jun 28, 2012

by Shine
Start talking about Warhammer

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


If what somebody is doing is real assault you have a right to defend youself regardless of gender and smashing her dumb face in becomes morally, ethically, and practically the best option.

That Robot
Sep 16, 2004

ask me anything about robots
Buglord

XMNN posted:

you need to make yourself appear physically bigger maybe bang some pot lids together theyre really quite timid

make sure you hang anything they might think is food in a tree far away from where youre planning to sleep

:tbear: :byobear:

so basically avoid these bears is what you're saying?

Bamford Brownstone
Jul 21, 2010
I carry a rape whistle at all times and whenever a woman comes near me i throw it at her and run away.

Bored
Jul 26, 2007

Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Mad Monk posted:

Pull my finger.

As a woman, this is the correct answer. Although we can certainly fire back. And quite often, it is far more rank since we aren't supposed to fart where anyone can hear/smell it so hold it in all day. Men may lose the battle of the stench.

a bay
Oct 14, 2014

by Lowtax
Some lady tried to put her hand in my pants one time but she was drunk so I was able to escape easily

EmperorFritoBandito
Aug 7, 2010

by exmarx
Comb your fingers through your nasty goon beard and flick the trapped crumbs into their eyes

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine

boom boom boom posted:

Start talking about Warhammer

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
just start screaming at the top of your lungs like an air raid siren until they run away

Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006

by XyloJW

mobby_6kl posted:



This should work assuming you're already wearing a thong.

This is good.

Also grabbing a clump of dirt and throwing into their eyes works too.


You could also follow up the groin kick with eye rending. Just claw the eyes, claw!

Vorik
Mar 27, 2014

put a finger up your rear end and then smear poo poo all over her face

milkingmycow
Mar 28, 2008

by Cyrano4747
Stab with a knife while wearing ill fitting gloves.

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

boom boom boom posted:

Start talking about Warhammer

Confirmed

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ChickenWyngz
Apr 3, 2015

Got them WMD's! Got that Pandemic!
Cardigans

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