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Truck Stop Stall
Jul 11, 2006

(girl or guy).

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Improbable Lobster
Jan 6, 2012

What is the Matrix 🌐? We just don't know 😎.


Buglord
If you kill a bartrnder you have to take their place

Truck Stop Stall
Jul 11, 2006

i'm a gay male so i can't kill guys. guess i'm female.

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
Very carefully. HTH

kazr
Jan 28, 2005

step one find bar

step two tend it

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005
Probation
Can't post for 7 days!
Bartenders have to be better at drinking than everyone else in the bar.

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012
http://www.wikihow.com/Become-a-Bartender

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005
Probation
Can't post for 7 days!
Also good to keep in mind:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YbjzztYbUo

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

Truck Stop Stall posted:

i'm a gay male so i can't kill guys. guess i'm female.

If you're a gay male, I'm assuming you want to work in a gay bar. So, find one where you can actually shoot the poo poo with the bartenders, and become a regular there. Shoot the poo poo lots with the bartenders and other patrons. In passing, mention that you'd love to become a bartender.

I've literally never known a bartender at a gay bar that didn't get the job as a regular customer who got a recommendation from another bartender.

Truck Stop Stall
Jul 11, 2006

criscodisco posted:

If you're a gay male, I'm assuming you want to work in a gay bar. So, find one where you can actually shoot the poo poo with the bartenders, and become a regular there. Shoot the poo poo lots with the bartenders and other patrons. In passing, mention that you'd love to become a bartender.

I've literally never known a bartender at a gay bar that didn't get the job as a regular customer who got a recommendation from another bartender.

the bar i'm a regular at has all female bartenders because i'm uncomfortable with my homosexual urges.

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

Truck Stop Stall posted:

the bar i'm a regular at has all female bartenders because i'm uncomfortable with my homosexual urges.

That's sad and unfortunate for you, but my expertise really doesn't extend into the straight bar world. It does seem, though, that the type of place that only has female bartenders sort of has a theme going that doesn't include your fruity rear end.

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.
Bartending school and/or connections. It's not exactly rocket science. The schools are a few weeks or months long and people mostly pay for them cuz they keep tabs on local bar staffing levels and have listings, like an agency.

It's a sketchy business though so face time with an owner is the gold standard. Job standards and sketchy poo poo are all over the place so its good to know exactly what you're getting into before signing up at any particular joint.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


Go to bartending school and learn how to make drinks poorly. Then go to a bar and get laughed at for going to bartending school. Hope this was helpful to you.

H.P. Hovercraft
Jan 12, 2004

one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse
Slippery Tilde

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

Go to bartending school and learn how to make drinks poorly. Then go to a bar and get laughed at for going to bartending school. Hope this was helpful to you.

please do not mock my mixology degree i bought a frame and everything

Soup du Journey
Mar 20, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
u have to get drunk a lot at the bar

Soup du Journey
Mar 20, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
i get drunk a lot at home, so i cant work

Jesus Christ
Jun 1, 2000

mods if you can make this my avatar I will gladly pay 10bux to the coffers
Be Chris McMillan

30 TO 50 FERAL HOG
Mar 2, 2005



if you have tits walk into a bar and ask for a job, this is the only step

if you don't have tits, the easy way is to know someone and even then you'll probably start out as a bouncer and have to work your way up if you don't have experience


everytime i watch this video it blows my mind, that dude probably pulls down 100k for pouring lovely bourbon over crushed ice and sticking a sprig of mint in it

Truck Stop Stall
Jul 11, 2006

criscodisco posted:

That's sad and unfortunate for you, but my expertise really doesn't extend into the straight bar world. It does seem, though, that the type of place that only has female bartenders sort of has a theme going that doesn't include your fruity rear end.

then i'm a vegetable.

Jesus Christ
Jun 1, 2000

mods if you can make this my avatar I will gladly pay 10bux to the coffers

BiohazrD posted:

everytime i watch this video it blows my mind, that dude probably pulls down 100k for pouring lovely bourbon over crushed ice and sticking a sprig of mint in it

Some friends and I got to be served by him a few years ago when we were in New Orleans. It was an "off season" Thursday night so we were the only people at the bar. We just had him make us whatever he felt like making and got to have an awesome chat with him for like 3 hours. The dude is an encyclopedia of cocktail knowledge and the history of New Orleans, really friendly too.

The Saurus
Dec 3, 2006

by Smythe
if you're a gay guy then it's super easy so long as you're sexy and don't mind working in a shirtless bar.

otherwise get a job as a server or some other front of house position and then ask for opportunities and help out the guy behind the bar so he teaches you stuff.

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry
If you are tall and fat=bouncer. And I'm talking marshmallow fat.

Ladies just have to be hot.

Real Mean Queen
Jun 2, 2004

Zesty.


Improbable Lobster posted:

If you kill a bartrnder you have to take their place

This is pretty much right. Get a barback job, wait until the bartender gets fired for shooting heroin in the customer bathroom, become service industry royalty

Don't go to bartending school

Real Mean Queen fucked around with this message at 11:50 on Sep 1, 2015

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
I think it's sort of like a metamorphosis. when it's time to start cocooning, you'll just know.

Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

I got into it by being a degenerate alcoholic and paying to take a 2 hour class.

old fat bird
Oct 27, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
Be the most vacuous worthless beautiful person in existence, have a really healthy digestive system so the alchy poops dont give you the rear end cancer

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



Bring a plastic bag filled with liquor into a bar and keep pouring it back and forth into a cup until you're recognized for your skills and hired on the spot

Universe Master
Jun 20, 2005

Darn Fine Pie

You want to handle liquor.

Drunks are said to be able to "handle their liquor"

Does that answer your question?

fuccboi
Jan 5, 2004

by zen death robot
Step one: Fail at everything else

null
Feb 19, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe
First you have to go to school for six years. Then there's a residency period.

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



op i got a bar u can tend

Return Of JimmyJars
Jun 24, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Improbable Lobster posted:

If you kill a bartrnder you have to take their place

proof of concept
Mar 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
lie your rear end off about having prior bartending experience

also, wear a mask on the back of your head so that ambush predators always think you're facing them that way they can't sneak up on you

Deki
May 12, 2008

It's Hammer Time!
I simply found a place that was hiring, was asked if I was competent enough to pour beers into glasses, and was hired.

Gumdrop Larry
Jul 30, 2006

I became a bartender for a couple years by way of working in a kitchen that was grossly understaffed and mismanaged so eventually there were situations where they had no choice but to ask if I was comfortable bartending, alongside occasionally working every other job position there, and it eventually became a regular thing so I guess the trick is to physically be near an understaffed bar and be relatively competent and not too outwardly mentally unstable.

Verily I Shat
May 24, 2015

by Smythe
Fail at having a real job

Booblord Zagats
Oct 30, 2011


Pork Pro
Fail atleast 4 classes your senior year of high school

plain blue jacket
Jan 13, 2014

IT DOESN'T STOP
IT NEVER STOPS
From what I've seen you need to lose your job in marketing

Who Is Paul Blart
Oct 22, 2010
A long history of drug abuse+a criminal record, OP.

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I am Toni Lippi
Aug 16, 2004
First you have to dress appropriately.

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