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Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004



ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

Welcome, new devotee, to Boat Cult. A future of calming seas lays before you. As a new convert to the ways of Boat Cult there are some things you should know:

-The Supreme Master is the source of all power in Boat Cult. through him and his extensive financial resources we are able to sail on this 500 foot super yacht with adjoining submarine.

-Sony Playstation 4 is the official gaming platform of Boat Cult.

-There are many rules of Boat Cult and failure to comply will yield strict punishments up to and including revocation of PSN access for your complimentary Playstation 4, keelhauling, light drowning, being fed to sharks, etc.

-Your soft terrycloth robe must be worn at all times unless Supreme Master requests that you be nude at which time you will be nude until Supreme Master tells you to wear your terrycloth robe again.

-All meals in Boat Cult are provided and there's an omelette station from 6am to 10:30am.

-You may not make use of the adjoining Boat Cult submarine unless you are an approved Gold Member or above.

-To achieve Gold Member status you must log at least 50 hours of anal penetrative sex with Supreme Master. This time only accrues while penetration is occurring.

-Absolutely no drugs or alcohol is to be consumed except bourbon, molly, cocaine and top shelf marijuana. Absolutely no ditch weed will be allowed in Boat Cult.

-Due to the "all female" make-up of Boat Cult, there is an on-site self-adminstered abortion machine. Please feel free to make liberal use of it.

There are many more rules in Boat Cult and they change at regular, although unpredictable intervals. During your path to enlightenment involving orgies and light murder in Boat Cult please feel free to ask your personal Guard-Minder any questions you may have unless you have already asked them. Welcome aboard to your new, wonderful life.

Boat Cult: Feel a Wake!

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STABASS
Apr 18, 2009

Fun Shoe
What's a boat?

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
set sail for fun

ElectricSheep
Jan 14, 2006

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

fyodor posted:

-Sony Playstation 4 is the official gaming platform of Boat Cult.

im out

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
I'm gonna start a schooner club who's with me?

Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

69420 basic bytes free
if I want to join boat cult and I am not a female will you make me one

Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
If I had a boat I'd pull up behind someone elses boat and scream, "GOOOO!!!!" at them.

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004



ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

Code Jockey posted:

if I want to join boat cult and I am not a female will you make me one

Yes given the already mentioned extensive wealth of our founder and Supreme Master, we have on-site self-administered gender reassignment machines.

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004



ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

They are also the self-administered abortion machines previously mentioned.

flerp
Feb 25, 2014
boats are bad

Crash_N_Burn
Apr 19, 2014

Lol at your puny boat cult. Prepare to be crushed by the catamaran cabal

Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





I received a letter stating that based on the size and shape of my anus I have been pre-approved for Gold Member status in Boat Cult. Just waiting on my terrycloth from Amazon to arrive so I can set sail!

big black turnout
Jan 13, 2009



Fallen Rib
what's this all a boat eh? lmbo

BottledBodhisvata
Jul 26, 2013

by Lowtax
What is the Supreme Master's view on lube vis-a-vis anal penetration?

Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

69420 basic bytes free

Broenheim posted:

boats are bad

can we murder this guy

proof of concept
Mar 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
swab my dick

bung my hole

Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

fyodor posted:

Welcome, new devotee, to Boat Cult. A future of calming seas lays before you. As a new convert to the ways of Boat Cult there are some things you should know:

-The Supreme Master is the source of all power in Boat Cult. through him and his extensive financial resources we are able to sail on this 500 foot super yacht with adjoining submarine.

-Sony Playstation 4 is the official gaming platform of Boat Cult.

-There are many rules of Boat Cult and failure to comply will yield strict punishments up to and including revocation of PSN access for your complimentary Playstation 4, keelhauling, light drowning, being fed to sharks, etc.

-Your soft terrycloth robe must be worn at all times unless Supreme Master requests that you be nude at which time you will be nude until Supreme Master tells you to wear your terrycloth robe again.

-All meals in Boat Cult are provided and there's an omelette station from 6am to 10:30am.

-You may not make use of the adjoining Boat Cult submarine unless you are an approved Gold Member or above.

-To achieve Gold Member status you must log at least 50 hours of anal penetrative sex with Supreme Master. This time only accrues while penetration is occurring.

-Absolutely no drugs or alcohol is to be consumed except bourbon, molly, cocaine and top shelf marijuana. Absolutely no ditch weed will be allowed in Boat Cult.

-Due to the "all female" make-up of Boat Cult, there is an on-site self-adminstered abortion machine. Please feel free to make liberal use of it.

There are many more rules in Boat Cult and they change at regular, although unpredictable intervals. During your path to enlightenment involving orgies and light murder in Boat Cult please feel free to ask your personal Guard-Minder any questions you may have unless you have already asked them. Welcome aboard to your new, wonderful life.

Boat Cult: Feel a Wake!

Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

69420 basic bytes free

nods

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

69420 basic bytes free
boat cult : my family said this is a bad idea, ?

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
im president of the poop deck

Infinite Karma
Oct 23, 2004
Good as dead





id like to apply for the psoition of superem master please

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
We should form an ORGanization for SEAfaring adventures and give it a catchy sci-fi name

Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

69420 basic bytes free
im already in scientology do you guys buy out my contract or what

free hubcaps
Oct 12, 2009

i like boats, this sounds like the cult for me

free hubcaps
Oct 12, 2009

remember the episode of keeping up appaerances where hyacinth goes on the boat and falls in a river

classic

Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





I'm thinking of taking the sub out for Papa Murphy's later if anyone wants to come.

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004



ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

Pawn 17 posted:

I'm thinking of taking the sub out for Papa Murphy's later if anyone wants to come.

Pawn 17
No. of hours of penetrative anal sex logged: 73

Bishop
Aug 15, 2000
I've got a 100 ton captains license can I get a job with boat cult.

proof of concept
Mar 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless

Bishop
Aug 15, 2000
I mean.... Someone has to drive the boat and lol if you're gonna let a woman do that

Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

69420 basic bytes free

Anthrovore posted:

remember the episode of keeping up appaerances where hyacinth goes on the boat and falls in a river

classic

i loving love that show

Toadvine
Mar 16, 2009
Please disregard my advice w/r/t history.
no lie its one of my life goals to learn how to sail and maybe even own my own little sloop type boat.

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 30, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy
cant wait to kill some people in international waters

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004



ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

This thread died on the vine it's very humbling.

Murray Mantoinette
Jun 11, 2005

THE  POSTS  MUST  FLOW
Clapping Larry
You're advertising for an all-female cult in GBS, it's kinda your fault.

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
Yeah my Schooner Club is booming compared to this sinking boat club

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde
has anyone posted "butt cult" yet? no problem i've got it

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:

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SirEvelynTremble
Dec 25, 2013

FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO
Hagbard Celine will DESTROY YOU

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