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babies are terrible creatures op
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Sep 2, 2015 05:28
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 18:16 |
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we must cull the human race
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Sep 2, 2015 05:28
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No. 6 posted:Congrats on the end of your life, OP.
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Sep 2, 2015 05:29
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natetimm posted:It's a fairly insensitive thing to ask for while your wife is lying in a near-coma and leaking fluids from having your child. My co-worker cleared the joke with her beforehand because he basically wanted to troll the doctors and nurses. To see him imitate and describe the reactions of the female nurses is hilarious. "I asked the doc to hook it up with the daddy stitch and the nurse carrying my wife's placenta in a pan out of the room almost dropped it and looked at me like I was Hitler." It's their 4th kid and I guess at that point you're a grizzled vet just trying to amuse yourself. Please explain this daddy stitch thing to me because it's going way over my head because I'm a loving loser that plays video games.
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Sep 2, 2015 05:32
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I've never heard of this husband stitch before but it seems like a lot of effort when your wife has a perfectly good butthole.
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Sep 2, 2015 05:32
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Nitramster posted:Please explain this daddy stitch thing to me because it's going way over my head because I'm a loving loser that plays video games. Some sort of extra stitch they give the woman after sewing them back up after childbirth that supposedly makes their vagina tighter. It doesn't really exist and asking for it makes you look like an idiot.
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Sep 2, 2015 05:36
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A misanthrope posted:op if i had your life i would kill myself Then I suppose its good that you don't reproduce, you spineless chimp. Naerasa posted:I've never heard of this husband stitch before but it seems like a lot of effort when your wife has a perfectly good butthole. I have. I think it's like Lemonjello and Orangejello, which is to say that maybe, just maybe, theres some doctor out there who has done but he is like some kind of goddam unicorn or something. I don't even thing that would work, since it's only going to heal what is actually torn... The stitch would just come out. Quick, Someone go ask the nursing thread. Preferably someone who reg'd this month. They'll love it!
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Sep 2, 2015 05:44
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single parent
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Sep 2, 2015 05:47
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never worn
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Sep 2, 2015 05:53
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i've produced plenty of babies in my time. Way overrated
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Sep 2, 2015 05:58
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If it's a C-section, prepare your goddamn self. Don't be a stupid man like me who went into the operating room thinking they just cut a small hole in the stomach, remove the baby and then stitch-er-up good as new. No, don't do that. Do some goddamn research. Read a book about it. Watch a Youtube. Something. THEY TAKE ALL OF HER INTESTINES OUT AND PUT THEM ON THE loving TABLE RIGHT NEXT TO HER. WHEN THEY DO THIS, YOU BASICALLY WATCH HER DIE FOR A SECOND. AFTER SHE COMES BACK TO LIFE, HER EYES ROLL FORWARD AGAIN AND THEN THEY YANK THE BABY OUT - IT'S VIOLENT AND THE TABLE SHAKES. THEY HAND THE BABY TO YOU ALL BLOODY SO YOU CAN PUT HIM IN YOUR SHIRT AND THEN THEY JAM THE INTESTINES BACK IN AND SEW HER BACK UP. Most hosed up thing I have ever witnessed.
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Sep 2, 2015 06:03
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Matey posted:lotta people pumped about dying alone with no one to love them or take care of them itt Yeah, its much better to die in the third-rate nursing home your kids put you in so they can party with the balance of your retirement fund.
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Sep 2, 2015 06:03
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Oh, hey, here I am forgetting my duties and poo poo. Good thing there aren't any pedo's on here like there are on reddit. Spamtron7000 posted:Most hosed up thing I have ever witnessed. If that happens, I think I'll just wait till they come out and stuff. But not likely; they're inducing between 37 and 39 weeks depending on how things go. We're fat people, and kinda too old for this poo poo(mid 30s). DiHK fucked around with this message at 06:08 on Sep 2, 2015 |
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Sep 2, 2015 06:03
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Spamtron7000 posted:If it's a C-section, prepare your goddamn self. Don't be a stupid man like me who went into the operating room thinking they just cut a small hole in the stomach, remove the baby and then stitch-er-up good as new. No, don't do that. Do some goddamn research. Read a book about it. Watch a Youtube. Something. Metal
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Sep 2, 2015 06:06
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Spamtron7000 posted:If it's a C-section, prepare your goddamn self. Don't be a stupid man like me who went into the operating room thinking they just cut a small hole in the stomach, remove the baby and then stitch-er-up good as new. No, don't do that. Do some goddamn research. Read a book about it. Watch a Youtube. Something. You mean the doc can leave the intestines out so she's not so full of poo poo afterwards?
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Sep 2, 2015 06:07
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amityville anus posted:You mean the doc can leave the intestines out so she's not so full of poo poo afterwards? I don't know. I am not an expert on this. I thought I was clear about that fact.
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Sep 2, 2015 06:08
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Spamtron7000 posted:If it's a C-section, prepare your goddamn self. Don't be a stupid man like me who went into the operating room thinking they just cut a small hole in the stomach, remove the baby and then stitch-er-up good as new. No, don't do that. Do some goddamn research. Read a book about it. Watch a Youtube. Something. what a miracle 
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Sep 2, 2015 06:10
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your babby already has a mustache and beard, p cool
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Sep 2, 2015 06:19
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Spamtron7000 posted:THEY TAKE ALL OF HER INTESTINES OUT AND PUT THEM ON THE loving TABLE RIGHT NEXT TO HER. WHEN THEY DO THIS, YOU BASICALLY WATCH HER DIE FOR A SECOND. AFTER SHE COMES BACK TO LIFE, HER EYES ROLL FORWARD AGAIN AND THEN THEY YANK THE BABY OUT - IT'S VIOLENT AND THE TABLE SHAKES. THEY HAND THE BABY TO YOU ALL BLOODY SO YOU CAN PUT HIM IN YOUR SHIRT AND THEN THEY JAM THE INTESTINES BACK IN AND SEW HER BACK UP. gently caress yeah 
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Sep 2, 2015 06:19
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Matey posted:pfffff, anyone who cares for an elderly person that they aren't related to basically abuses and beats them when no one is looking which i bet is pretty much all the time. jokes on pedro, it alreadty costs me a fortune to have a professional dom do the same! the cheaper the nursing home the more VALUE I get
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Sep 2, 2015 07:23
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DirtyMick posted:A first hand account of something you have to look forward to. 3 or 4 months from births when things are settling down and you're feeling frisky you'll invariably get a squirt of breast milk whilst aggressively partaking in some foreplay. P much.
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Sep 2, 2015 07:23
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Having sex with a pregnant chick is hot op. Have fun and get all the sleep you can now
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Sep 2, 2015 07:24
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DiHK posted:Oh, hey, here I am forgetting my duties and poo poo. is that a shot from the hubble?
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Sep 2, 2015 09:51
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No. 6 posted:Congrats on the end of your life, OP.
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Sep 2, 2015 09:53
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DirtyMick posted:A first hand account of something you have to look forward to. 3 or 4 months from births when things are settling down and you're feeling frisky you'll invariably get a squirt of breast milk whilst aggressively partaking in some foreplay. food and loving two great things that go great together
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Sep 2, 2015 09:59
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i got two words for you nerds
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Sep 2, 2015 10:00
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can u make cheese out of human breastmilk? also that ultrasound photo is haunted as gently caress
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Sep 2, 2015 10:02
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Tashan Dorrsett posted:i got two words for you nerds the femininityt and musclde tone thread is getting out of hand
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Sep 2, 2015 10:03
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Spamtron7000 posted:If it's a C-section, prepare your goddamn self. Don't be a stupid man like me who went into the operating room thinking they just cut a small hole in the stomach, remove the baby and then stitch-er-up good as new. No, don't do that. Do some goddamn research. Read a book about it. Watch a Youtube. Something. glad 2 be gay
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Sep 2, 2015 10:04
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Sep 2, 2015 10:04
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Spamtron7000 posted:If it's a C-section, prepare your goddamn self. Don't be a stupid man like me who went into the operating room thinking they just cut a small hole in the stomach, remove the baby and then stitch-er-up good as new. No, don't do that. Do some goddamn research. Read a book about it. Watch a Youtube. Something. thats loving METAL dude i mean i was born like that. wow. satan.
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Sep 2, 2015 10:10
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Coolness Averted posted:jokes on pedro, it alreadty costs me a fortune to have a professional dom do the same! oh man, just imagine an old masochist with alzheimer's. the old person getting abused is like "whoa what's going on oh boy alright let's do this thing you young punk are you my husband am i gay ahh who cares just give it to me you millennial mexican"
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Sep 2, 2015 10:26
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DiHK posted:Oh, hey, here I am forgetting my duties and poo poo. there's a ghost in you're wife's vag, you need an exorcist not a doctor
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Sep 2, 2015 18:34
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DiHK posted:Oh, hey, here I am forgetting my duties and poo poo. More like necrophiliacs Your wife is pregnant with a skellington
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Sep 2, 2015 18:40
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No. 6 posted:Congrats on the end of your life, OP.
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Sep 2, 2015 18:42
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circus tits
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Sep 2, 2015 19:02
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The Saurus posted:scarcity of fossil fuels there won't be a scarcity of fuels, maybe water?
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Sep 2, 2015 19:22
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Congratulations! Hope the delivery is smooth and safe. God bless your family 
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Sep 2, 2015 19:24
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name the baby Richard Lowtax
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Sep 2, 2015 19:25
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 18:16 |
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i, jerry mumphrey, hope your baby grows up to be a genderqueer tumblrina
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Sep 2, 2015 20:05
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