Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
maker
Jun 1, 2010

by Nyc_Tattoo
accidentally touched a girl's hand once....

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Console Role Player
Sep 15, 2007

Snooch to the Gooch
None of these are me because I wasn't an idiot back when I used to do :catdrugs:.

A couple of friends of mine are driving home after a late night score through a heavily policed neighborhood. Sure enough, a car pulls up behind them and one of them looks back and it's without a doubt a police cruiser. The driver decides the best course of action is to turn at the nearest road and pretend like they're heading deeper in to the neighborhood to get home. They end up going in to a cul-de-sac with no other exits besides the one they entered through. They park, turn off the lights, and watch the cop; the cop car is just waiting outside the cul-de-sac, daring them to make a move. My friends are quickly trying to decide if they should eat the weed, stick it up one of their butts, or just toss it. They opt to toss it and hope it's too dark for the cop to see it. As they're pulling out of the cul-de-sac, the cop flashes his lights and pulls them over. They go through the whole song and dance: "what are you boys doing this late at night?", "why did you drive down this street and come right back out?", and such. The driver says he's new to the neighborhood and they got lost heading home. The cop asks to see his driver's license. The cop inspects it, and sure enough it has a local address less than a mile down the road. The cop doesn't ask anyone to step out, he doesn't inspect the vehicle, he just lets them go saying, "Go home. NOW." My friends drive the rest of the way to the driver's house, cursing that they just threw out some perfectly good weed and the officer didn't even check the car. The cop probably saw everything and just decided to let them go, seeing as how they were nice Jewish boys and everything.

Same group of friends a couple of weeks later. This was back in high school when we had to go places to smoke to avoid our parents finding out. My friends would usually go to a local park to "chill" because it was a nicely wooded area and usually empty during the evenings. So that night they roll a joint, head out, and enter the park. Before they're deep enough in the trees to light the joint, a flashlight hits them followed by a voice asking, "what are boys doing here this late?" COPS. The friend holding the joint tosses it in his mouth and tries to chew and swallow it, but it's bitter, dry, and won't go down easily. While he's trying to get it down his throat and avoid coughing, the same driver from the previous story explains to the officer that he's new to the neighborhood and thought the park was open this late. "My friends and I are just out on a evening stroll," he says. The cop checks his ID, verifies that it's a local address, and explains that the park closed an hour ago and that no one's allowed inside after dark. My friends apologize, leave, and head towards the car they drove up in. My friend who ate the joint starts violently coughing, asking between coughs if there's any bottled water in the car. It doesn't really matter because moments later he's vomiting up the weed and his dinner. Luckily the cop didn't follow them back to the car and notice this, so they drove off weedless but free.

One more story. A couple years ago the mom of two friends of mine adopted a dog: a largish, very friendly, very curious poodle. My friends were known at the time for hiding their weed and supplies in the closet of the garage apartment of the home where their mom lives. So I'm hanging out with the two of them one night when they get a call from their mom: "The dog just ate something and it's sick!" "What?!" "I found the dog in the garage apartment and she's sick and vomiting! I'm taking her to the vet!" My friends leave, and I later learn that the dog did in fact find their stash and eat it. My friends got everything out of the garage apartment before their mom came back with the dog (who ended up being fine BTW), but the jig was up. Their mom knew about the weed and lords it over them to this day.

They still keep weed in the garage apartment.

TL;DR My friends are dumb when it comes to weed.

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo

Console Role Player posted:

None of these are me because I wasn't an idiot back when I used to do :catdrugs:.

A couple of friends of mine are driving home after a late night score through a heavily policed neighborhood. Sure enough, a car pulls up behind them and one of them looks back and it's without a doubt a police cruiser. The driver decides the best course of action is to turn at the nearest road and pretend like they're heading deeper in to the neighborhood to get home. They end up going in to a cul-de-sac with no other exits besides the one they entered through. They park, turn off the lights, and watch the cop; the cop car is just waiting outside the cul-de-sac, daring them to make a move. My friends are quickly trying to decide if they should eat the weed, stick it up one of their butts, or just toss it. They opt to toss it and hope it's too dark for the cop to see it. As they're pulling out of the cul-de-sac, the cop flashes his lights and pulls them over. They go through the whole song and dance: "what are you boys doing this late at night?", "why did you drive down this street and come right back out?", and such. The driver says he's new to the neighborhood and they got lost heading home. The cop asks to see his driver's license. The cop inspects it, and sure enough it has a local address less than a mile down the road. The cop doesn't ask anyone to step out, he doesn't inspect the vehicle, he just lets them go saying, "Go home. NOW." My friends drive the rest of the way to the driver's house, cursing that they just threw out some perfectly good weed and the officer didn't even check the car. The cop probably saw everything and just decided to let them go, seeing as how they were nice Jewish boys and everything.

Same group of friends a couple of weeks later. This was back in high school when we had to go places to smoke to avoid our parents finding out. My friends would usually go to a local park to "chill" because it was a nicely wooded area and usually empty during the evenings. So that night they roll a joint, head out, and enter the park. Before they're deep enough in the trees to light the joint, a flashlight hits them followed by a voice asking, "what are boys doing here this late?" COPS. The friend holding the joint tosses it in his mouth and tries to chew and swallow it, but it's bitter, dry, and won't go down easily. While he's trying to get it down his throat and avoid coughing, the same driver from the previous story explains to the officer that he's new to the neighborhood and thought the park was open this late. "My friends and I are just out on a evening stroll," he says. The cop checks his ID, verifies that it's a local address, and explains that the park closed an hour ago and that no one's allowed inside after dark. My friends apologize, leave, and head towards the car they drove up in. My friend who ate the joint starts violently coughing, asking between coughs if there's any bottled water in the car. It doesn't really matter because moments later he's vomiting up the weed and his dinner. Luckily the cop didn't follow them back to the car and notice this, so they drove off weedless but free.

One more story. A couple years ago the mom of two friends of mine adopted a dog: a largish, very friendly, very curious poodle. My friends were known at the time for hiding their weed and supplies in the closet of the garage apartment of the home where their mom lives. So I'm hanging out with the two of them one night when they get a call from their mom: "The dog just ate something and it's sick!" "What?!" "I found the dog in the garage apartment and she's sick and vomiting! I'm taking her to the vet!" My friends leave, and I later learn that the dog did in fact find their stash and eat it. My friends got everything out of the garage apartment before their mom came back with the dog (who ended up being fine BTW), but the jig was up. Their mom knew about the weed and lords it over them to this day.

They still keep weed in the garage apartment.

TL;DR My friends are dumb when it comes to weed.

jesus even your friends stories are boring

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot
one time i almost posted a lovely thread and then i didn't too bad OP wasn't so lucky

penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald
i could fill a whole page with this bs but ... i dunno, effort

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
i almost posted in this thread

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

Chinatown posted:

i almost posted in this thread
but...

thathonkey
Jul 17, 2012
:c00l:cool:c00l:kids:c00l: have arrived at the thread totalk about how theyre too cool to thread topic also im gay

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
All these posts from Americans almost getting caught with a small amount of weed being the most dangerous situation they've ever been in is just. It's mindblowing. "We went into a black neighbourhood to score weed and saw some cops. It's loving harrowing but thank Christ we escaped with our lives!"

wilfredmerriweathr
Jul 11, 2005
I was chilling with my roommate and one of his friends on campus at night. There was this old historic building that was closed off but there was an outside fire escape and it wasn't locked or posted no trespassing, and the top level of it was this nice big porch that overlooked the downtown. We climbed up there to just hang out and my roommate pulls out a bowl and we proceed to blaze it.

15 min later, we are sitting up there and we hear some drunk freshman approaching. We are pretty well hidden up on this fire escape porch in the dark of night, so we just keep quiet. Then some other drunk kid comes wandering by, and decides to go all parkour and scale the goddamned wall of the building, (to impress the other drunks I guess?) so he climbs about halfway up to where we were, stops on a little overhang, and starts yelling. Nobody has noticed us yet.

So, of course, the campus police choose this moment to roll by. They see the drunks on the sidewalk, and then shine their light on the kid that's standing on the overhang, and then their searchlight catches us. Cops climb out of the car, then yell at us to come down.

Now, at this point my roommate is freaking out and is trying to hide his weed and pipe up on the fire escape (we're still in the searchlight beam so any attempt to throw it off the side or something would be obvious). I tell him, no loving way, put that poo poo in your pocket and do NOT consent to a search. He argues with me but I pick it up and stuff it in his pocket as we move towards the stairs.

We climb down, and the cops line us all up against a wall and take our IDs. I take this time to let them know that we aren't with the other group, we have no idea what they were doing, we were just looking at the skyline. Tiny 4' tall cop starts berating me about how "I must want a trespassing ticket, blah blah blah" to which I very politely replied that we went through no locked doors and past no "no trespassing" signs. Meanwhile two other cops have rolled up and are now searching the entire fire escape with their maglites.

The other two cops come down and let the first guy know that there was nothing up there, we must be telling the truth, etc. Mr. Big man in uniform tells me that we're "lucky we didn't get a trespassing ticket, now get the hell out of here," so we walk away as they cuff the drunk parkour guy and put him in the car. Crisis averted. drat glad I told my roomie to hold onto his poo poo.

wilfredmerriweathr fucked around with this message at 00:24 on Sep 4, 2015

The Whole Internet
May 26, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
I'm in that weird percentage of the pop. with a type of high anxiety that makes weed dangerous. I have a tendancy to get stuck in loops and get panic attacks when I smoke too much weed (which is a very small amount, like half a bowl).

I had some great experiences from weed, smoked it once a week for about a year--small amounts each time.

A few months ago after a painful sad breakup, while I was in a precarious position with my employment, I smoked my usual single draw but decided "gently caress it, a little more this time". It ended up being way too much more, and I spent the night tripping loving balls and visualizing my brain eating itself, my body dying, the landlords finding my dead body, parents crying... etc. It felt like I was dying for sure, just the worst kind of primal sort of fear. Pure, distilled despair, really. I had aftershocks for the next two weeks every time I went back to my apartment.

Anyway, not sure what the 'close' part actually was there. Close to dying? Maybe from suicide to get out of it. Close to getting caught? Yeah, I contemplated calling emergency services. Idk, but I am passively aware of the center of my brain that causes fear now, at all times. So that is close, I guess.

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012

Console Role Player posted:

None of these are me because I wasn't an idiot back when I used to do :catdrugs:.

A couple of friends of mine are driving home after a late night score through a heavily policed neighborhood. Sure enough, a car pulls up behind them and one of them looks back and it's without a doubt a police cruiser. The driver decides the best course of action is to turn at the nearest road and pretend like they're heading deeper in to the neighborhood to get home. They end up going in to a cul-de-sac with no other exits besides the one they entered through. They park, turn off the lights, and watch the cop; the cop car is just waiting outside the cul-de-sac, daring them to make a move. My friends are quickly trying to decide if they should eat the weed, stick it up one of their butts, or just toss it. They opt to toss it and hope it's too dark for the cop to see it. As they're pulling out of the cul-de-sac, the cop flashes his lights and pulls them over. They go through the whole song and dance: "what are you boys doing this late at night?", "why did you drive down this street and come right back out?", and such. The driver says he's new to the neighborhood and they got lost heading home. The cop asks to see his driver's license. The cop inspects it, and sure enough it has a local address less than a mile down the road. The cop doesn't ask anyone to step out, he doesn't inspect the vehicle, he just lets them go saying, "Go home. NOW." My friends drive the rest of the way to the driver's house, cursing that they just threw out some perfectly good weed and the officer didn't even check the car. The cop probably saw everything and just decided to let them go, seeing as how they were nice Jewish boys and everything.

Same group of friends a couple of weeks later. This was back in high school when we had to go places to smoke to avoid our parents finding out. My friends would usually go to a local park to "chill" because it was a nicely wooded area and usually empty during the evenings. So that night they roll a joint, head out, and enter the park. Before they're deep enough in the trees to light the joint, a flashlight hits them followed by a voice asking, "what are boys doing here this late?" COPS. The friend holding the joint tosses it in his mouth and tries to chew and swallow it, but it's bitter, dry, and won't go down easily. While he's trying to get it down his throat and avoid coughing, the same driver from the previous story explains to the officer that he's new to the neighborhood and thought the park was open this late. "My friends and I are just out on a evening stroll," he says. The cop checks his ID, verifies that it's a local address, and explains that the park closed an hour ago and that no one's allowed inside after dark. My friends apologize, leave, and head towards the car they drove up in. My friend who ate the joint starts violently coughing, asking between coughs if there's any bottled water in the car. It doesn't really matter because moments later he's vomiting up the weed and his dinner. Luckily the cop didn't follow them back to the car and notice this, so they drove off weedless but free.

One more story. A couple years ago the mom of two friends of mine adopted a dog: a largish, very friendly, very curious poodle. My friends were known at the time for hiding their weed and supplies in the closet of the garage apartment of the home where their mom lives. So I'm hanging out with the two of them one night when they get a call from their mom: "The dog just ate something and it's sick!" "What?!" "I found the dog in the garage apartment and she's sick and vomiting! I'm taking her to the vet!" My friends leave, and I later learn that the dog did in fact find their stash and eat it. My friends got everything out of the garage apartment before their mom came back with the dog (who ended up being fine BTW), but the jig was up. Their mom knew about the weed and lords it over them to this day.

They still keep weed in the garage apartment.

TL;DR My friends are dumb when it comes to weed.

I didn't read this... based on the TLDR I think I made a GOOD DECISION

Cool NIN Shirt
Nov 26, 2007

by vyelkin

Funky See Funky Do posted:

All these posts from Americans almost getting caught with a small amount of weed being the most dangerous situation they've ever been in is just. It's mindblowing. "We went into a black neighbourhood to score weed and saw some cops. It's loving harrowing but thank Christ we escaped with our lives!"

You got poked w a syringe. WHoop dee doo

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here
I called someone who was standing next to me.

Lutha Mahtin
Oct 10, 2010

Your brokebrain sin is absolved...go and shitpost no more!

Funky See Funky Do posted:

All these posts from Americans almost getting caught with a small amount of weed being the most dangerous situation they've ever been in is just. It's mindblowing. "We went into a black neighbourhood to score weed and saw some cops. It's loving harrowing but thank Christ we escaped with our lives!"

lmao every other developed nation is like 500% more racist than america

are you even trying? the answer is no of course

Popular Human
Jul 17, 2005

and if it's a lie, terrorists made me say it
I was commuting to college and one of those big-rear end power company trucks with the crane on it cut me off. It was directly in front of me when the light changed and a car came barreling through the intersection running the red and smashed right into the side. No one was hurt because those things are built like tanks but if it had been my college shitbox, they would've been peeling what was left of me off the pavement.

thewireguy
Jul 2, 2013
A 3+ foot tree fell on my house, less than 6 feet from my head where I was watching tv with my cat on my chest.there was a crack and boom and I thought it was more thunder and lightning until i saw a cloud of insulation roll by. I was unharmed except for the claw marks as she pulled a Scooby doo running away.

LLeGGo
Nov 6, 2005

No relation. Your mouth foams. We dance.
At 16 or 17, 8 friends and I decide to drop acid for the night. A few hours in and 4 gel-tabs deep, I decide a walk is a good idea. A friend says she wants to come. We head out and make it a few blocks and decide to head back, but first we take a seat at a bus stop bench on a corner. It's a busy-ish street even at midnight or so on a weeknight. Life is great, the world seems to conform to my every thought and the warm, humid, summer night air is a comfy blanket around my body. Couldn't have been there more than 5 minutes, or a week dunno, and I look down the street and focus on this one car. Nothing special about it, it just drew my attention from two blocks away. I watch it move in slow-motion and fast forward at the same time (:lsd:) as it gets closer and closer. When it finally gets to the intersection we are at, with my eyes still on it, a car coming from the other side of the street as me apparently flies across the intersection and t-bones my new favorite eye candy. A car coming in the opposite direction of the one I was watching gets binked in the crash and sends it, literally, straight for us. Speed limit on this road was 40. By the grace of whoever the gently caress that car nails a utility pole that is about 10-15 feet from us. We got hit with little chunks of plastic and I may have even seen a visual representation of the physics involved while it happened. Maybe I'm an idiot. Pretty sure neither of us moved an inch as it happened.

Neither of us were completely sure if the other had just experienced the same incident until we slowly looked to each other and our massive pupils had an exchange with the others and we knew that what just happened...happened. We stand up, see that everyone involved is getting out of their cars, little blood, and decide its best to just walk away. I vaguely remember someone yelling at us not to leave so we can be a witness, but that poo poo wasn't happening. Back at our friends house nobody believed us. We waited till morning and it was confirmed by a friends mom, whose boyfriend owned the car I was watching.

Drugs, man. They're alright sometimes.

LLeGGo fucked around with this message at 04:49 on Sep 4, 2015

Mirrors
Oct 25, 2007
Real talk, I once had a jumper land about six feet behind me on a sidewalk.

solar energy panel
Apr 30, 2007
I could have died.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Lutha Mahtin posted:

lmao every other developed nation is like 500% more racist than america

are you even trying? the answer is no of course

It wasn't the racism thing it was more the banality of it all. A run in with the cops as a teenager while you've got a small amount of weed on you just won't rate to people in most other developed nations.

Cool NIN Shirt posted:

You got poked w a syringe. WHoop dee doo

Well I've also been hit by a car and left for dead on the side of the road, almost been lynched because some moron interpreted "actually the koran was written about a thousand years before America was a nation so no it doesn't say anything about destroying America in there" as gently caress islam and muslims. The only reason I didn't end up at least in hospital was because this awesome Iraqi guy Wael calmed the mob down (I'm not kidding about this Karla was a loving moron and probably had some kind of developmental issues who didn't like being told she was wrong so she went and told a little story to all the gang members at the school), been caught in multiple rip tides and survived a suicide attempt when I was a teenager but I went with the syringe story. Oh and I had a simple hernia operation when I was 4 or 5 that apparently nearly killed me but I don't remember anything about it. I should ask my mum about that.

E: And I very nearly just went out with my fly undone! My god, do you know what it's like constantly living on the edge like I do?

Funky See Funky Do fucked around with this message at 12:53 on Sep 4, 2015

  • Locked thread