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the life of jesus christ as told in the new testament is basically saying jesus couldn't stand it if people didn't worship him and suck his cut dick. he was pretty much a human being and an attention starved babby.
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:02 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2024 11:57 |
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:03 |
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he chased people with a whip once that was cool
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:03 |
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god complex
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:04 |
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fyodor posted:...suck his cut dick... Eww, mutilated dicks are gross. Jeus is gross.
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:04 |
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i dunno if given the chance can you imagine draining jesus' balls. it would own.
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:05 |
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sometimes i realize ill never be able to kill jesus and get really sad
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:06 |
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The gnostic texts basically play out like The Omen with Jesus doing evil magic poo poo and killing kids. They can't even get him a teacher to teach him how to read because he keeps freaking them all out.
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:06 |
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Broenheim posted:sometimes i realize ill never be able to kill jesus and get really sad You know you can kill him every three days right?
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:06 |
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i like jesus. I think.... he was cool.
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:07 |
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i liked it when he went to that wedding and mary was all "they got no wine" and he's just "bitch why you bothering me about it?"
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:07 |
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Stick Figure Mafia posted:The gnostic texts basically play out like The Omen with Jesus doing evil magic poo poo and killing kids. They can't even get him a teacher to teach him how to read because he keeps freaking them all out. the gospel of thomas is very
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:09 |
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fyodor posted:the life of jesus christ as told in the new testament is basically saying jesus couldn't stand it if people didn't worship him and suck his cut dick. he was pretty much a human being and an attention starved babby. To be fair, he turned into a zombie, which was pretty cool. ALL HAIL ZOMBIE JESUS AND HIS FATHER, THE INVISIBLE SKY-WIZARD!
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:19 |
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Jesus deserved to die and resurrect and save the world hallelujah
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:23 |
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Jesus should've just minded his own God drat business. He got what he deserved when they tortured and crucified him imo
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:23 |
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:23 |
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same but unironically
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:27 |
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yeezus 2020
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:39 |
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John 11:35 Jesus wept.
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:44 |
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whoa this thread is so edgy it sliced my balls clean off
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:47 |
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deep impact on vhs posted:same but unironically
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:52 |
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Oooooh look I'm sacrificing myself to save y'all No one fuckin asked dingus
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:55 |
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Stick Figure Mafia posted:The gnostic texts basically play out like The Omen with Jesus doing evil magic poo poo and killing kids. They can't even get him a teacher to teach him how to read because he keeps freaking them all out. Why do I feel that Christianity would be different if they kept those in? Anecdotally, it seems like a lot of it's followers have issue with seeing that people can change, or be good despite not following their way of thinking. I have a feeling if more of them had read about that stuff that they would be a bit more open minded about the way the world is. I personally like the idea of Jesus being a gently caress-up when he was young, how else are you going to get good at something if you don't screw it up a bazillion times. I'm not religious but it definitely makes him more relatable and human.
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 21:55 |
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The best part about jesus is you just have to say you believe in him and he'll forgive you on behalf of everyone you've wronged. you can be as lovely a person as you like and no one can say poo poo about it because jeezus.
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 22:03 |
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 22:05 |
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Sauer posted:The best part about jesus is you just have to say you believe in him and he'll forgive you on behalf of everyone you've wronged. you can be as lovely a person as you like and no one can say poo poo about it because jeezus. this is what gets me about people that believe this poo poo. like i don't care what you believe if it doesn't affect other people but when a core tenet of your belief system is "I can be a gigantic rear end in a top hat and then just say that im sorry and jesus will make it better" you can gently caress right off
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 22:14 |
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wilfredmerriweathr posted:this is what gets me about people that believe this poo poo. like i don't care what you believe if it doesn't affect other people but when a core tenet of your belief system is "I can be a gigantic rear end in a top hat and then just say that im sorry and jesus will make it better" you can gently caress right off So it gets you mad that people get forgiven in the supernatural sense of bad things won't happen after you die by a being you don't believe exists in the first place?
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 22:21 |
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Kiryen posted:So it gets you mad that people get forgiven in the supernatural sense of bad things won't happen after you die by a being you don't believe exists in the first place? I think the issue is that it gives them carte blanche to be a arsehole.
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 22:23 |
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AbbadonOfHell posted:I think the issue is that it gives them carte blanche to be a arsehole. A true Christian does not tepeatedly be an rear end in a top hat and think they can just be forgiven. Being a Christian means living by the word of God which means loving one another and if they don't do this they are a piece of poo poo with a Bible they use as a weapon
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 22:30 |
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AbbadonOfHell posted:I think the issue is that it gives them carte blanche to be a arsehole. correct SirEvelynTremble posted:A true Christian does not tepeatedly be an rear end in a top hat and think they can just be forgiven. Being a Christian means living by the word of God which means loving one another and if they don't do this they are a piece of poo poo with a Bible they use as a weapon this is approaching like 70+% of the christians in the US (but really this type of thinking and acting is true for the majority of people that align themselves with any one of the big 3 religions) if you're an rear end in a top hat and you think it's ok because your weak rear end baby religion tells you you can just say you're sorry each sunday and be good, you're an rear end in a top hat and to think that you're somehow justified because of some old words or whatever makes you exponentially more of an rear end in a top hat
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 22:37 |
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wilfredmerriweathr posted:correct
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 22:42 |
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jesus was basically dad gay only without the legit funny sense of humor
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 23:06 |
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Gatekeeper posted:jesus was basically dad gay only without the legit funny sense of humor haha dad gay isnt funny wtf
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 23:07 |
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Gatekeeper posted:jesus was basically dad gay only without the legit funny sense of humor I'm willing to bet there is some funny stuff in the gnostic stuff.
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 23:08 |
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fyodor posted:haha dad gay isnt funny wtf
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 23:09 |
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fyodor posted:haha dad gay isnt funny wtf dad gay is the only reason i still post here i mean thats a lie but its a really nice thing to say i think
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 23:10 |
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Gatekeeper posted:dad gay is the only reason i still post here It's like being the hot girl appreciating the ugly friend who makes her look even better
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 23:11 |
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i find something awful forums poster dad gay. so what to be an adequately humorous and generally well tempered member of this fine world wide posting community, more than can be said for many a poster
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 23:11 |
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Gatekeeper posted:dad gay is the only reason i still post here
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 23:12 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2024 11:57 |
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Dad gay is pretty alright in my book too. If my dad was gay I'd want him to be forum poster Dad gay, so what.
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# ? Sep 4, 2015 23:16 |