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  • Locked thread
Doseku
Nov 9, 2009

mateo360 posted:

I am posting a call for people who might be interest in commenting of Seven Samurai 20XX. I need at least one more person for my group and will probably have seven people total for one of the final videos.

Skype and Audacity need.

sounds interesting i'm in. you can find me on skype under the same username I have here.

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OldManMarsh
Sep 25, 2013

leeeettsss play
I enlisted Skippy Granola to help me commentate on a lovely game I found in a bargain bin a few years back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2M554XBwq4

Before Paradox Interactive split with Paradox Entertainment we got this little gem called Valhalla Chronicles. It's wants to be an ARPG but fails horribly at it, having not only janky animations, but bad design overall. The left mouse button is always attack, no matter what the context. To talk to an NPC you need to right click and choose from a menu. I think I forgot about that every time I tried recording it because of how unintuitive I found it. The story is pretty much a joke, and if you want to risk a hospital visit you can take a shot every time you see something misspelled.

To get you excited for the "Myth, Magic and Mayhem in the World of the Vikings", here's the story as presented on the back of the box:

quote:

Odin acquired his skills in magic and runes by hanging by his neck in Yggdrasil, impaled by spears. He hung like this for a whole week and when he returned to Valhalla, he was the mightiest among the gods. Eight of the runes in the Futhark were so powerful that Odin hid them from the world. Now Odin's vile bloodbrother Loke seeks the runes to initiate Ragnarlk, the end of the world. You must find the runes before Loke and prevent the apocalypse. Play in ancient Scandinavia as one of four heroes, each with unique abilites. Meet dwarves, giants and trolls on your quest for the runes.

Figures that my first real video would be a contribution to the Bad Games Megathread. Apologies for not being good at commentating (lots of pauses and "uh"s and "eh"s). Or editing. I don't think this game deserves much better though.


Part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIIkgBXyu4o

OldManMarsh fucked around with this message at 02:03 on Sep 28, 2015

BioEnchanted
Aug 9, 2011

He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.
Video is private

OldManMarsh
Sep 25, 2013

leeeettsss play

BioEnchanted posted:

Video is private

Should be fixed. Youtube decided to change the settings while I authenticated, and I didn't notice it.

Sloober
Apr 1, 2011

OldManMarsh posted:

I enlisted Skippy Granola to help me commentate on a lovely game I found in a bargain bin a few years back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2M554XBwq4

Before Paradox Interactive split with Paradox Entertainment we got this little gem called Valhalla Chronicles. It's wants to be an ARPG but fails horribly at it, having not only janky animations, but bad design overall. The left mouse button is always attack, no matter what the context. To talk to an NPC you need to right click and choose from a menu. The story is also a joke.

To get you excited for the "Myth, Magic and Mayhem in the World of the Vikings", here's the story as presented on the back of the box:


Figures that my first real video would be a contribution to the Bad Games Megathread. Apologies for not being good at commentating (lots of pauses and "uh"s and "eh"s). Or editing. I don't think this game deserves much better though.

The astonishing thing about this game is it came out in 2003 and looks far worse than Diablo, which came out in 1996.

OldManMarsh
Sep 25, 2013

leeeettsss play

Sloober posted:

The astonishing thing about this game is it came out in 2003 and looks far worse than Diablo, which came out in 1996.

I think part of that might be my fault for being new with recording, but it sure as hell doesn't look good. The game also forces fullscreen, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't meant for a 16:9 resolution. I tried several ways to force windowed, but the game resisted every single one of them, even becoming a crashfest when I tried to use DXWnd.

corn in the bible
Jun 5, 2004

Oh no oh god it's all true!

OldManMarsh posted:

I think part of that might be my fault for being new with recording, but it sure as hell doesn't look good. The game also forces fullscreen, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't meant for a 16:9 resolution. I tried several ways to force windowed, but the game resisted every single one of them, even becoming a crashfest when I tried to use DXWnd.

What do you use to record?

Faerie Fortune
Nov 14, 2004

and its time for the final bad game stream game!

Bad Games Stream #5 - Dr Ruths Computer Game Of Good Sex

This one was actually kind of fun!

OldManMarsh
Sep 25, 2013

leeeettsss play

corn in the bible posted:

What do you use to record?

I'm using OBS at the moment. I had to use monitor capture to be able to capture any video at all for this game. Naturally I forgot to switch from the settings you usually use for streaming, because I'm an idiot. Doesn't seem like that part mattered too much with this game though.

Dr. Buttass
Aug 12, 2013

AWFUL SOMETHING

Faerie Fortune posted:

Bad Games Stream #2 - Mario Teaches Typing ddinkins, poorlywrittennovel, Artix, FPzero, Blastinus, Blind Sally and Tyty


gently caress, I had both these games as a kid. Well actually what I technically had was the sequel to Amazon Trail.

To a certain degree tiny child me knew they were boring and terrible but I played them anyway because who loving knows I was six.

kjetting posted:

I understand that there's probably a story reason for having two characters with different skill sets, but gameplaywise it doesn't really change anything. It seems like something that could have been used for interesting gameplay mechanics if done right, but nothing would have changed if it had been one character doing both the jumping and the shooting. I'm probably overthinking, but I find it really annoying that there's two main sprites in the game and they don't utilize it in the gameplay in any way whatsoever.

I mean, that's...sort of what they did in Banjo-Kazooie? But Banjo and Kazooie have distinct abilities from one another, and it's very clear that things are only getting done because the two of them are working together. Literally the only thing Groundypants Footface contributes is a failure state; without him Wingyding Magoo could probably just fly straight to the end boss and Deal With poo poo. I think it's really likely that the creator was so loving proud of his race of flying sparkledog Raymans, when he suddenly realized, "wait, I'm making a platformer," and somehow managed to come to the conclusion that the most elegant solution was to make the entire game an escort mission where the player character is the useless moron escort-ee.

Come to think of it, lots of games do the "two characters working in tandem" thing better than this game. Ori and the Blind Forest...Ratchet and Clank...gently caress, even Dust: An Elysian Tail is a better game that does this better than Eternity's Child.

Ape Has Killed Ape
Sep 15, 2005

Hell's bells, just have a bad guy cripple her wings in the intro, so she can only use them very briefly. BOOM, useless rear end in a top hat is gone and bonus, now you have an in-game explination for a double jump.

Dr. Buttass
Aug 12, 2013

AWFUL SOMETHING
I mean you don't even need that, I can't even list all the games that just literally say "well you're a living being that expends energy when it exerts itself and flying is a lot of resisting gravity, so I shouldn't have to finish this sentence." The only reason I can think of to be so attached to the idea that these things can literally fly forever without a rest that you need to explain why your player character can't do it, is if it's literally the central mechanic around which the entire plot is built; you have aviomuscular degenerative syndrome or something, and there are a lot of narrow caves and poo poo that can't be flown through between your people and the Great Worldsaving MacGuffin, so now you're the only hope for the world because you're the only one whose legs are strong enough to support their own weight.

I don't think the guy that gave us "robots won't shoot a girl" is going to carry that off either.

Cowman
Feb 14, 2006

Beware the Cow





I think Eternity's Child is breaking my mind. Next episode marks the halfway point and well I'm desperate. I think it's just one or two more episodes after this one!

Snorb
Nov 19, 2010
I liked 1993Tris when I was a kid...

Anyway, some info on the developer: His name is Young Chung, and he made two other games under the name Ninano Software: 1994Pool (a bumper pool simulator with enemies that can destroy your cue ball and some of the worst anime girl art I've ever had the misfortune to witness) and 1995Card (a version of minhato, a Korean card game that uses the Japanese hanafuda cards; it seems good, I suppose, but hanafuda's loving incomprehensible to me as it is.)

Sally
Jan 9, 2007


Don't post Small Dash!

Snorb posted:

I liked 1993Tris when I was a kid...

Anyway, some info on the developer: His name is Young Chung, and he made two other games under the name Ninano Software: 1994Pool (a bumper pool simulator with enemies that can destroy your cue ball and some of the worst anime girl art I've ever had the misfortune to witness) and 1995Card (a version of minhato, a Korean card game that uses the Japanese hanafuda cards; it seems good, I suppose, but hanafuda's loving incomprehensible to me as it is.)

good god, Fae, more games for a future bad games stream :stonk:

(i thought 1993tris looked alright, but we moved on from it pretty fast).

Ramos
Jul 3, 2012


Cowman posted:

I think Eternity's Child is breaking my mind. Next episode marks the halfway point and well I'm desperate. I think it's just one or two more episodes after this one!

Wait, that's it? There hasn't even been any scenery change and all the levels look the same. How low effort is this game?

Nebiros
Apr 25, 2013

The scarf is nice.


^ This is a screenshot of Youtube dinging the raw upload of one of the episodes and kind of helps confirm that Hitman music managed to sneak in.

A game released by Bohemia. This is a very special game. Bad on all levels, featuring stolen music, uninspired gameplay, amazingly bad car mechanics, unlikable characters, worse voice acting and a bizarre plot.

We play as Majer, a rich poor man speaking all of his lines through clenched teeth and almost aware of how mind numbing this game's plot is. He's the guy trying to break his wrist in the banner.

We meed a terrifying cast of Muppets survivors with awful voice actors and even worse personalities. These cutscenes are legitimately painful. Early on, we recover a red hot rod. This isn't the Druid Plow even if half of the cast do look vaguely like Headbangers.

Latest Episode - Episode 2


Pound of Ground Episode 1 - Featuring AngryMog and Major_JF
Pound of Ground Episode 2 - Featuring Zain and Major_JF


Some background info on this game's apparent series.

anilEhilated posted:

Okay, so here's the Pound of Ground retrospective, before I forget it.

The nineties were weird here. A lot of the commonplace technology didn't make it past the Iron Curtain and so there was no real gaming background or culture - or that many home computers. Those few who had access to computer games were usually the kids of people who worked in the fairly small IT sector, consoles were almost unheard of (most "gamers" in the eightties used 8-bit computers like ZX Spectrum or Commodore models, importing a Japanese system was apparently difficult as hell), and the most common way of obtaining a game was borrowing a bunch of floppies from a classmate. Games were for kids and adolescents.
Now, around 1996 or so, the first few Czech game development companies popped up - and started emulating the games people knew and that were simple to make; an adventure is really just a series of scripted events with no need for mechanics and/or writing talent. The average Czech adventure was a parody of whatever caught the developer's mind: for a very typical example, the first locally-made game that was actually sold as retail was The Secret of Donkey Island; arguably the only case in videogame industry where the parody is less funny than the source material.


Looks familiar? "I'm not going into the water. There are sharks there." Don't tell me Gilbert and co. wouldn't stick a joke there.

Copyright infringement and all (for the record, the hero's name is literally Guybrush Threepwood, only spelled phonetically in Czech: Gajbraš Trípvůd), this thing sold and spawned a bunch of "humorous" point and click adventure games by quickly emerging (and dissolving) game companies. One of the more successful games of that kind was 1998's Hot Summer.


What do you think about the intelligence of an average dolphin?

The plot to that one is simple: Jan Majer, an incompetent good-for-nothing drunk, is on a tropical vacation with his family, which gets kidnapped by cannibals. He uses the typical adventure game logic of stealing, cheating, violence, animal abuse and (if I remember correctly) murder by Rube Goldberg to save them and call for help by radio. That's it. Its main selling point was that all the characters were voiced by a popular comedian and a lot of them sounded "accidentally" like lead politicians of the day. That, combined with the fact the game was highly quotable for the age 11-16 crowd, turned it into the most successful Czech adventure game to date. So a year later, there was a sequel.


Box art. Most other pictures I could find are decidedly NWS.
Whatever else I'm going to say about it, at least this time they managed to come up with a story: it's Wild West, bandits are raiding Indians and steal a sacred stone called The Purple Salamander (and no, it's not funny in Czech either). The local shaman decided to solve the situation by summoning a mighty hero from the future, but the spell fizzles and he ends up with that one drunk moron.
It's... better. A lot of the humor is based on punny "Western" and "Indian" names which would come out as racist if it all wasn't so blatantly absurd and as far as adventure gaming goes there's very few dick moves and utterly illogical puzzles. However, there are also action segments and those fuckers stand out. See, there's a reason why no one really tried to do action games here back then: they had no idea how to write an engine and licensing one was completely out of the question due to low sales given gaming's marginal status (there was a fair bit of outright engine stealing, though). You can possibly accept a 1999 game running like poo poo when it's a point and click adventure, but I'd draw the line if it had shooty bits. This game has shooty bits. Oh, yeah, and a strip poker minigame that assured it a cult status among the first game's target audience; remember, not many people had fixed Internet here then.


Hot Summer Three And A Half. Bigger picture included: see if you can figure out what's going on on that cover. I sure as hell can't.
So when 2005 rolled in and the sequel showed up, the devs apparently decided that point'n'click adventures were so nineties (early in the world, late here) and a game had to action. This game actually got an international release - Czech gaming sites tell me it was called Raiders of the Lost Casino. The protagonist is Johnny Majer, grandfather of the "hero" of the first two games, an immigrant in the 1920s America. His grandfather (the whole immigrant thing as well as potential for time loops is handwaved away) has died and left him a casino that he needs to fight the Mafia over. If the previous game was borderline racist, this one crossed the line pretty firmly with their Italian caricatures; then again, the series has always boasted (as in, claimed by the developer's website) an intentionally politically incorrect sense of humor.
Gameplay, gameplay... The devs called it an action game with adventure features. What it really is is a collection of minigames, but forget Beyond Good and Evil: you get to drive, shoot, navigate mazes and solve puzzles, all in an overworld that makes Ride to Hell seem positively bustling with life. It plays and controls like rear end and the story doesn't even pretend to be funny this time; your activities are limited to like ten things. Home reviewers ate it up out of either patriotism or bribery; it apparently flopped everywhere else.

Now, I haven't really seen Pound of Ground yet so I'll just stick to some observations. The name's translation is pretty close this time, the Czech title literally translates to "Half a Kilo of Ground Meat". I'm not sure if the meat implication is present in English, honestly. Right, next, here's what the game's official page has to say about that rear end in a top hat who constantly interrupts your gameplay: "Scenes from "behind the curtains" fill in the story and bring distinct humor into the game". It's distinct, I'll give them that.

I'll rewatch the videos and try to look for something that could've been lost in the translation, but if you keep playing that thing, keep in mind that if it's anything like the third game, the horrible gameplay seen so far is only the tip of the iceberg and there's minigames to look forward to. And if it's anything like the rest of the series, it won't start being funny anytime soon.

edit: I can add more details about the games if desired, I remember playing the first two pretty well and the third one is apparently bad enough to have some notoriety.

Nebiros fucked around with this message at 18:37 on Oct 22, 2015

racerabbit
Sep 8, 2011

"HI, I WANT TO HUG PINS NUTS."
:frolf:
It could also be a reference to "ground pounder", which is another name for an infantry soldier.

JamieTheD
Nov 4, 2011

LPer, Reviewer, Mad Welshman

(Yes, that's a self portrait)

Nebiros posted:

Alright all of you beautiful goons, have I got a trainwreck for you. Episode 1 of Pound of Ground, or Evil Days: Pound of Ground depending on where you're at.

Join Angry Mog, Major_JF and myself in this magical journey.

Hokay, so... This was actually developed by Centauri Productions, then Centauri was acquired by Bohemia as a subsidiary, but... That doesn't actually make things better. One subsidiary, Black Element Games, developed Alpha Prime, while another (Altar Games) made the UFO trilogy. I have LPed the first last time there was a Bad Games Megathread, and at least one and a third of the other...

So all I need to do now is Let's Play one of the Virtual Battlespace engine products, and, say, Memento-Mori, and I can have the dubious honour of having LPed at least one product from every subsidiary of Bohemia Interactive.

...It's at times like this you realise how much of a videogame masochist you are... :negative:

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

JamieTheD posted:

So all I need to do now is Let's Play one of the Virtual Battlespace engine products,
Take Operation Flashpoint and that mission where you're supposed to sneak alone past squads of all-seeing AI. Or OF: Resistance where the first mission is to wait for a regular bus and take it straight to Resistance HQ. Or just any mission since they all seem to have at least a 50% chance of a vital script breaking.

I believe it was Resistance that had a scripted cutscene which got stuck at the highest graphical settings. The optional detailed terrain feature added random bumps to the map, and one of them blocked the line of sight for a sniper who was supposed to take a shot and kill a dude to trigger the rest of the cutscene.

SelenicMartian fucked around with this message at 07:55 on Sep 19, 2015

Cowman
Feb 14, 2006

Beware the Cow





Ramos posted:

Wait, that's it? There hasn't even been any scenery change and all the levels look the same. How low effort is this game?

The next video (which should be up by Monday assuming commentary recording goes well Sunday night) shows off the new scenery. Spoilers: it's not that different.

Edit: There are 20 levels total and I get through about 3-4 an episode and I ended this one on level 12 I believe. I'm also going to do a bonus Crystal hunt video at the end. I've never gotten all the crystals and it's the last achievement for the game so I figure I'll get it for this thread :buddy:

Cowman fucked around with this message at 18:05 on Sep 19, 2015

Ohmygodsquad
Dec 14, 2005

Nebiros posted:

Alright all of you beautiful goons, have I got a trainwreck for you. Episode 1 of Pound of Ground, or Evil Days: Pound of Ground depending on where you're at.

Join Angry Mog, Major_JF and myself in this magical journey.

Is it something to do with the recording or is this game dead silent aside from voice clips?

Nebiros
Apr 25, 2013

The scarf is nice.

Ohmygodsquad posted:

Is it something to do with the recording or is this game dead silent aside from voice clips?

I turned a lot of it down because the music's grating after a while. However, a lot of it is quite quiet. If you want an idea of the music, hunt down some generic music from bad techno, bad rock and bad metal, trim it to about 30 seconds and then play them at random and you'll get the experience you're missing.

Twiggymouse
Mar 4, 2013

Well, take this with a grain of salt, but
So, my partner in crime, Mialath, and I began a play through of


Come join us as we see just how far this rabbit hole really goes.

Ep 1: Don't Be Panic if You Want to Alive

mateo360
Mar 20, 2012

TOO MANY PEOPLE MERLOCK!
ONLY ONE DIJON!


So... this is a thing. I regret everything already.

For this first episode, I have Combat Lobster, Senior Scarybagels, and Loco. Joining us for other episodes will be Heavy Sigh, Nebiros, and DynamiteKidd

Overture - Decadent Moon
Chapter 1 - To The Silver Bridge
Chapter 2 - Art of Junk Life
Chapter 3 - Vanishing Love Petals Part 1
Chapter 3 - Vanishing Love Petals Part 2
Chapter 3 - Vanishing Love Petals Part 3
Chapter 4 - The Man in White
Chapter 5 - Struggle in the Wilderness
Chapter 6 - Justice for Oneself
Chapter 7 - To Live and Let Die
Chapter 8 - Searching for Sin without Malice
Chapter 9 - Victory Born from Death
Final Chapter - What Makes Us Human

mateo360 fucked around with this message at 15:55 on Dec 16, 2015

Cowman
Feb 14, 2006

Beware the Cow






Let's Play Eternity's Child Episode 3 - I DON'T KNOW


I'm getting desperate to keep this game interesting as you can tell in this video. I think I'm just gonna stick to goofy music from now on. I also left out a level by mistake and that's gonna be in the next video. I just skipped over it I guess, it's the one level that's pretty unique in terms of art and everything.

OldManMarsh
Sep 25, 2013

leeeettsss play

mateo360 posted:


So... this is a thing. I regret everything already.

For this first episode, I have Combat Lobster, Senior Scarybagels, and Loco.

Overture - Decadent Moon

This game seems like it's ridiculously bad. I don't think I've ever seen anything in this genre with combat that slow and uninteresting before.

Cowman posted:


Let's Play Eternity's Child Episode 3 - I DON'T KNOW


I'm getting desperate to keep this game interesting as you can tell in this video. I think I'm just gonna stick to goofy music from now on. I also left out a level by mistake and that's gonna be in the next video. I just skipped over it I guess, it's the one level that's pretty unique in terms of art and everything.

So is that the extent of the tile set changes? Because this looks almost exactly the same as before. It's also amazing to me how it seems like there's barely been any work at all put into the how the jumping feels in a platformer.

Spookyelectric
Jul 5, 2007

Who's there?

mateo360 posted:



So... this is a thing. I regret everything already.

For this first episode, I have Combat Lobster, Senior Scarybagels, and Loco.

Overture - Decadent Moon

Here's an insane factoid (that I don't think you mentioned, apologies if I missed it): the character designs for this game were done by Jean Giraud, also known as Mœbius. You may recognize him as a world-acclaimed comic book artist, the concept artist for The Fifth Element, Tron, and Alien, the leading influential artist for the 80's cyberpunk movement (his work was the primary inspiration for Blade Runner's visual appearance and he was an influence of William Gibson), or as a founding creator of the cult comic magazine "Heavy Metal." He was friends with several manga artists and heavily influenced the Japanese animation and comic industry. He was a close friend of Miyazaki and even named his daughter Nausicaä after Miyazaki's awesome movie. Oh, and he worked on Space Jam.

One wonders why his biography skims over this particular work...

Spookyelectric fucked around with this message at 08:25 on Sep 26, 2015

Anoia
Dec 31, 2003

"Sooner or later, every curse is a prayer."

Spookyelectric posted:

Here's an insane factoid (that I don't think you mentioned, apologies if I missed it): the character designs for this game were done by Jean Giraud, also known as Mœbius. You may recognize him as a world-acclaimed comic book artist, the concept artist for The Fifth Element, Tron, and Alien, the leading influential artist for the 80's cyberpunk movement (his work was the primary inspiration for Blade Runner's visual appearance and he was an influence of William Gibson), or as a founding creator of the cult comic magazine "Heavy Metal." He was friends with several manga artists and heavily influenced the Japanese animation and comic industry. He was a close friend of Miyazaki and even named his daughter Nausicaä after Miyazaki's awesome movie. Oh, and he worked on Space Jam.

One wonders why his biography skims over this particular work...

The voice actress for Girl sounds and awful lot like Fuu from Samurai Champloo.

Angrymog
Jan 30, 2012

Really Madcats

I remember picking up that game to have a look at in a shop, and being sad that I didn't have a PS2 because the blurb made it look fun and I like Moebius's character designs.

ElTipejoLoco
Feb 27, 2013

Let me fix your avisynth scripts! It'll only take me a couple horus.

Anoia posted:

The voice actress for Girl sounds and awful lot like Fuu from Samurai Champloo.
According to imdb, the girl (Cue) is voiced by Gwendoline Yeo. No clue how similar that actually is to Kari Wahlgren's voice for Fuu.

Cowman
Feb 14, 2006

Beware the Cow





OldManMarsh posted:

This game seems like it's ridiculously bad. I don't think I've ever seen anything in this genre with combat that slow and uninteresting before.


So is that the extent of the tile set changes? Because this looks almost exactly the same as before. It's also amazing to me how it seems like there's barely been any work at all put into the how the jumping feels in a platformer.

The level I left out by accident is the one that changes things up. I've included it in the next video first thing. You're also spot on about the jumping, it feels like there's no real connection between my pushing the button and him jumping.

Good news though! The very last episode is coming up next. I included the crystal collection at the end of it (and good lord are some of the crystals complete bullshit). I should have it up on Monday (we record on Sunday nights) if my co-commentators get their audio to me at a decent time.

kalonZombie
May 24, 2010

D&D 3.5 Book of Erotic Fantasy
Oh hey, the game throws some "variety" at us at last. Too bad it all pretty much sucks.

Episode 3: Handi-Capable

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

kalonZombie posted:

Oh hey, the game throws some "variety" at us at last. Too bad it all pretty much sucks.

Episode 3: Handi-Capable

The Search for Spock.

Eediot Jedi
Dec 25, 2007

This is where I begin to speculate what being a
man of my word costs me

kalonZombie posted:

Oh hey, the game throws some "variety" at us at last. Too bad it all pretty much sucks.

Episode 3: Handi-Capable

Assistance required: your partner is waiting for you at the turbo lift.

Captain Kirk is literally too dumb to operate an elevator without Spock's help.

Poil
Mar 17, 2007

Tommofork posted:

Assistance required: your partner is waiting for you at the turbo lift.

Captain Kirk is literally too dumb to operate an elevator without Spock's help.
Turbo lifts are scary if you can't hold someone's hand. :ohdear:

Deadmeat5150
Nov 21, 2005

OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN
I suddenly have the urge to dust off my copy of Too Human.

I really enjoyed that game.

OldManMarsh
Sep 25, 2013

leeeettsss play
Here's another Valhalla Chronicles video. It covers some extra things in the first area, as well as area 2 and 3.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIIkgBXyu4o

Skippy joins me once again. Unfortunately, the game is not getting better.

At first I was planning on leaving the first video as a one-off. Then I decided for some weird reason to torture myself by recording more of this. I ended up spending 2 hours figuring out why the game refused to start. Turns out the answer to was that an update to Windows was the culprit. By then I had already tried several other things, and lost my earlier save files, so enjoy some extras from the first area before we jump into the next 2.

Edit: Had to reupload due to an audio balance fuckup. Hopefully this is better.

OldManMarsh fucked around with this message at 02:03 on Sep 28, 2015

Twiggymouse
Mar 4, 2013

Well, take this with a grain of salt, but


Further down the rabbit hole.
The poorly translated rabbit hole.

Ep 2: Come On Put Your Voice Down

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Cowman
Feb 14, 2006

Beware the Cow






Let's Play Eternity's Child Episode 4: IT'S FINALLY OVER


Well this is it. The last episode. The developer decided that these last few levels had to be a huge pain in the rear end but I didn't edit most of them this time.

I do want to thank the guys that stuck through this hell with me:

Scarybagels - He's been in every video and helped me with audio editing as well as general LP advice. You should definitely check out his LP of the .hack games as it's actually a good one and I cohost in it as well.

Mateo360 - He also was in every video and put up with my terrible choices in music. He's doing a video series in this thread on Seven Samurai 20XX

GrandmasterArcturus - He was in the first and last episode, unfortunately due to conflicts he couldn't be in all of them even though he wanted to (no idea why). He's doing a Kingdom Hearts LP that I got dragged into and it's a good mix of informative and funny.

CombatLobster - Also in the first and last episode. He gave me some good suggestions for editing the video so that it would be bearable to watch.

I think this game had potential. It had competent art and the story could have been interesting. Instead it frontloaded all the story in a literal wall of text and then tried to continue it in the hard to read balloons at the bottom that most of the time was just a handwaving of bad mechanics or a bad joke. The art itself is ruined by the terrible animations that from looking around the files seems to derive from the game engine it used. I'm not entirely sure what the engine is, whether it was a custom one or one that they licensed or was free.

Playing this game really made me appreciate the care that goes into good platformers. The levels in Eternity's Child seemed to be just a lazy copy/paste job so there was little to no direction unless they literally put arrows telling you where to go. The jumping mechanics felt so disconnected from the actual input that I'm still not entirely sure how to control the jump height which is important in a game like this.

All these words aside, thanks for watching my videos. It was my first ever LP and it was quite a learning experience. I might do another one for this thread because I had a lot of fun and I own a lot of really bad games. No idea what it would be though.

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