ITT we live in the Middle Ages

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > ITT we live in the Middle Ages

Apollodorus: Feb 13, 2010; TEST YOUR MIGHT

That Robot posted:

im the guy yelling at the popes corpse lol

the avignon papacy was p funny

popes and antipopes calling each other the devil lol

the cadaver synod doesn't have anything to do with the avignon papacy ffs

also btw a pope legalized slavery

another pope had an illegitimate daughter who was the hostess for his sex orgies

what i'm saying is, catholicism is bs ORTHODOX4LYFE

# ? Sep 9, 2015 03:14

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 24, 2024 23:58

GPF: Jul 20, 2000; Kidney Buddies; Oven Wrangler

*dies from type 2 diabetes*

# ? Sep 9, 2015 03:16

Dr. Dogballs Jr.: Jun 9, 2014; the angriest sex machine

*has to credit all artistic endeavors to men because of fear of persecution against my dirty sinful vagina*

# ? Sep 9, 2015 03:16

swampland: Oct 16, 2007; Dear Mr Cave, if you do not release the bats we will be forced to take legal action

stops bathingto ward off the black death

# ? Sep 9, 2015 03:17

Horniest Manticore: Nov 23, 2013; Hello, you!; Lipstick Apathy

Hector Beerlioz posted:

*gets visited in the middle of the night by a succubus*

hot

# ? Sep 9, 2015 03:17

EvilMayo: Dec 25, 2010; "You'll poke your anus out." - George Dubya Bush

# ? Sep 9, 2015 03:18

The Fuzzy Hulk: Nov 22, 2007; ASK ME ABOUT CROSSING THE STREAMS

*wins archery contest, is given a gold feather.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 03:21

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

*Goes to confession after having sinful thoughts from reading The Wife of Bath's tale*

# ? Sep 9, 2015 03:28

Angela Lansburial: Feb 9, 2005; Nothing to see here.

forsooth

# ? Sep 9, 2015 03:32

HiHo ChiRho: Oct 23, 2010

*loses archery contest, cries in street filled with human poo poo

# ? Sep 9, 2015 03:32

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

# ? Sep 9, 2015 03:45

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

Hector Beerlioz posted:

don't doxx me

# ? Sep 9, 2015 03:53

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

Hector Beerlioz posted:

*Goes to confession after having sinful thoughts from reading The Wife of Bath's tale*

*ensuing scandal is used by theocracy to control and undermine the monarchy*

# ? Sep 9, 2015 03:55

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Gatekeeper posted:

don't doxx me

stop playing secular tunes on your violin and i won't doxx you anymore

# ? Sep 9, 2015 04:02

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Fun Fact: Galileo's father wrote an essay saying polyphonic music was bad because it focused more on the music than the scripture being sung and as a result took our minds off GOD.

Good thing Palestrina and Lassus came along.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 04:04

Millions of Crows: Mar 31, 2010; take a look overhead

In any era without security cameras I am stealing so much poo poo

# ? Sep 9, 2015 04:08

STABASS: Apr 18, 2009; Fun Shoe

*rolls around in poo poo and viscera to mask my scent from prey*

# ? Sep 9, 2015 04:17

Gentwise: Sep 12, 2003; Gentwise Bankfourthe, Esquire.

Millions of Crows posted:

In any era without security cameras I am stealing so much poo poo

As a dishonest shopkeep, I'll tell a guard you stole before you have a chance to steal. You'll have your hands chopped off and I'll get tossed a coinpurse for keeping the village clean.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 04:24

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

*gets diarrhea and dies*

# ? Sep 9, 2015 04:30

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

crossposting from the serial killer thread:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Stumpp

# ? Sep 9, 2015 04:30

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

*kills cats on sight believing they carry the black plague*
*rat population skyrockets*

# ? Sep 9, 2015 04:33

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

Hector Beerlioz posted:

stop playing secular tunes on your violin and i won't doxx you anymore

im curly dude :rolleye:

# ? Sep 9, 2015 04:43

Dean of Swing: Feb 22, 2012

Straight'eth outta Yorkshire.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 04:51

EmperorFritoBandito: Aug 7, 2010; by exmarx

Dean of Swing posted:

Straight'eth outta Yorkshire.

*sunlight glints off black tooth*

# ? Sep 9, 2015 04:57

Dave_Indeed: Feb 22, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

I cast magic missle on the darkness.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 05:07

Millions of Crows: Mar 31, 2010; take a look overhead

Gentwise posted:

As a dishonest shopkeep, I'll tell a guard you stole before you have a chance to steal. You'll have your hands chopped off and I'll get tossed a coinpurse for keeping the village clean.

I'm the son of monied nobility and i steal for fun. I'll have you exiled to the wilds. You won't survive outside the city walls.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 05:31

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

*succession crisis*

# ? Sep 9, 2015 05:32

Ocean Book: Sep 27, 2010; - hi

*invents all sorts of cool mills*

# ? Sep 9, 2015 05:34

SmokaDustbowl: Feb 12, 2001; by vyelkin; Fun Shoe

I shovel poo poo all day and I'm covered in sores and biting insects and my toe rotted off yesterday

# ? Sep 9, 2015 05:37

SmokaDustbowl: Feb 12, 2001; by vyelkin; Fun Shoe

Hector Beerlioz posted:

# ? Sep 9, 2015 05:38

SmokaDustbowl: Feb 12, 2001; by vyelkin; Fun Shoe

I'm drunk off fruits that have fermented and I'm sitting on a stone wall eating a ball of horse poo poo

# ? Sep 9, 2015 05:41

Hometown Slime Queen: Oct 26, 2004; the GOAT

*drinks cabbage soup, silently cherishes last remaining tooth*

# ? Sep 9, 2015 05:56

Hometown Slime Queen: Oct 26, 2004; the GOAT

Wow these ages loving suck, I hope a bunch of fat nerds don't make a celebration to romanticize the hell out of us while eating turkey legs and selling fairy necklaces

we did not have turkeys here back then so that would not even make any sense.

# ? Sep 9, 2015 05:57

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Hector Beerlioz posted:

burn this wizard and his futuretelling

Actually, MGS V is set in the past :agesilaus:

# ? Sep 9, 2015 06:00

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Nooner posted:

Actually, MGS V is set in the past

The thumb screws 4 u

# ? Sep 9, 2015 06:10

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

Wow these ages loving suck, I hope a bunch of fat nerds don't make a celebration to romanticize the hell out of us while eating turkey legs and selling fairy necklaces

we did not have turkeys here back then so that would not even make any sense.

when were turkeys invented

# ? Sep 9, 2015 06:13

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
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