Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Randarkman
Jul 18, 2011



Hi, I'm Frederick II Holy Roman Emperor and king of Sicily. I speak six languages and I really like science, reason and performing experiments of my own design. Once I had some infants isolated without human contact to see if they would develop a natural language, unfortunately they kind of died.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

ArmedZombie
Jun 6, 2004

*uses vowels with continental values*

concerned mom
Apr 22, 2003

by Lowtax
Grimey Drawer

Randarkman posted:



Hi, I'm Frederick II Holy Roman Emperor and king of Sicily. I speak six languages and I really like science, reason and performing experiments of my own design. Once I had some infants isolated without human contact to see if they would develop a natural language, unfortunately they kind of died.

they did this in ancient egyptian times too to see which language was the oldest between like egyptian, er.. persian, hitite.. whateverian and that. They took babies from birth and put them in a room, and the first word that they spoke was guaranteed to be the first language. In the end I think a baby said like "buh" or something which is bread in Egyptian so the egyptians won the day.

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012



i actually sometimes think itd be pretty okay to live in the middle ages if you were like in venice or genoa or istanbul

fuck off Batman
Oct 14, 2013

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!


Middle Ages posted:

In the year of our Lord 1432, there arose a grievous quarrel among the brethren over the number of teeth in the mouth of a horse. For thirteen days the disputation raged without ceasing. All the ancient books and chronicles were fetched out, and wonderful and ponderous erudition such as was never before heard of in this region was made manifest. At the beginning of the fourteenth day, a youthful friar of goodly bearing asked his learned superiors for permission to add a word, and straightway, to the wonderment of the disputants, whose deep wisdom he sore vexed, he beseeched them to unbend in a manner coarse and unheard-of and to look in the open mouth of a horse and find answer to their questionings. At this, their dignity being grievously hurt, they waxed exceeding wroth; and, joining in a mighty uproar, they flew upon him and smote him, hip and thigh, and cast him out forthwith. For, said they, surely Satan hath tempted this bold neophyte to declare unholy and unheard-of ways of finding truth, contrary to all the teachings of the fathers. After many days more of grievous strife, the dove of peace sat on the assembly, and they as one man declaring the problem to be an everlasting mystery because of a grievous dearth of historical and theological evidence thereof, so ordered the same writ down.

Maldoror
Oct 5, 2003

by R. Guyovich
Nap Ghost
*rolls in dirt*

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010

Randarkman posted:



Hi, I'm Frederick II Holy Roman Emperor and king of Sicily. I speak six languages and I really like science, reason and performing experiments of my own design. Once I had some infants isolated without human contact to see if they would develop a natural language, unfortunately they kind of died.

fun fact a mughal emperor did the same poo poo.

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

I'm a medieval doctor and your humors are imbalanced you need to be bled

Captain_Indigo
Jul 29, 2007

"That’s cheating! You know the rules: once you sacrifice something here, you don’t get it back!"

*Picks up a chicken, chicken sneezes on me, goes home to say goodbye to 13 year old wife cousin*

EmperorFritoBandito
Aug 7, 2010

by exmarx
*gets the runs on the crane treadmill*

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
*bronto crane gets sick so skips work at quarry to go bowling with best buddy*

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler
Pillbug
Should be a good harvest this year. We'll make it through the winter without starving to death, huh?

EmperorFritoBandito
Aug 7, 2010

by exmarx

gleebster posted:

Should be a good harvest this year. We'll make it through the winter without starving to death, huh?

*local lord rides up* "LOL no"

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler
Pillbug

EmperorFritoBandito posted:

*local lord rides up* "LOL no"

Have fun trying to figure out how to plow next spring, yer Honor.

EmperorFritoBandito
Aug 7, 2010

by exmarx
*brands ur nutsack or whatever for sass*

Shark Sandwich
Sep 6, 2010

by R. Guyovich
You hear about this Prester John guy? I hear he's giving those heathen Saracens hell.

Lil Bit O Vitriol
Jan 10, 2010
Accuses neighbour of being a werewolf. Neighbours whole family is lynched just to be safe.

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)
is a peasant gets a hundred odd days off all year

:smug:

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Frog Act posted:

i actually sometimes think itd be pretty okay to live in the middle ages if you were like in venice or genoa or istanbul

what the gently caress is istanbul do you mean Constantinople you filthy serf?


Nation posted:

is a peasant gets a hundred odd days off all year

:smug:


You there, grab a hoe, we're going to the neighboring fiefdom to dispute their dam! My river rights have to be maintained you know. Chop chop! Just jog along with my horse there you go!

Moridin920 fucked around with this message at 16:56 on Sep 9, 2015

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH
blacksmith, build me a helm that shall strike fear in my enemies

Pulvis Sumus
Jul 27, 2011
I'm Charlemagne and it's absolutely crucial that I make all these peasants learn to speak Classical Latin instead of their devolving, mongrel dialects because apparently God can only understand our prayers if they're recited in perfect Latin. The idea of a completely omnipotent god is unfamiliar to me, a Frankish dimwit who can't even write his own name.

poverty goat
Feb 15, 2004



Pulvis Sumus posted:

I'm Charlemagne and it's absolutely crucial that I make all these peasants learn to speak Classical Latin instead of their devolving, mongrel dialects because apparently God can only understand our prayers if they're recited in perfect Latin. The idea of a completely omnipotent god is unfamiliar to me, a Frankish dimwit who can't even write his own name.

charlemagne has paladins though

suck it king arthur

Soup du Journey
Mar 20, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
we should build a wall to keep all these hungarians from coming in

Lil Bit O Vitriol
Jan 10, 2010
Pfft hope you idiots enjoy getting the plague, death won't be able to touch me with all these flowers stuffed up my nose.

Eat it, sinners.

*dies of plague*

Lamebot
Sep 8, 2005

ロボ顔菌~♡
im going to fill the hole left by the christian dark ages with my fat rear end

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

Daimo posted:

This printer is really heavy, I hope my friend really appreciates me carrying him all this way for her.

lol

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

EmperorFritoBandito
Aug 7, 2010

by exmarx

:chanpop:

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012




lmao

hard counter
Jan 2, 2015






:captainpop:

Hometown Slime Queen
Oct 26, 2004

the GOAT
*crowd cheers as eleven year old boy is hanged for stealing bread because he was starving*

ClothHat
Mar 2, 2005

ASK ME ABOUT MY LOVE OF THE LUMPEN-GOBLITARIAT
protip: trust no links I post

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

*crowd cheers as eleven year old boy is hanged for stealing bread because he was starving*

ITT we are at the GOP debates.

Trast
Oct 20, 2010

Three games, thousands of playthroughs. 90% of the players don't know I exist. Still a redhead saving the galaxy with a [Right Hook].

:edi:

ClothHat posted:

ITT we are at the GOP debates.

History repeats itself.

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

EmperorFritoBandito posted:

*is a knight who's manor gets bum rushed by pissed off peasants*
*gets killed, split roasted over a fire, eaten by peasants*
*wife gangraped by 12 peasants in front of our children before they cut her throat*

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
*shits on the ground, wipes with hand*


*son gets eaten by monstrous forest trolls (cannibal hobos)*

*lives in filth*

*dies of black plague, along with one third of everyone else in Europe*

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
*is a gong farmer
*spends his days farming gong
*looks forward to church

Fuck da Mods
Jun 27, 2013

fina get poz'd? :cabot: :gizz: :baby:

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Sheep-Goats posted:

*is a gong farmer
*spends his days farming gong
*looks forward to church

Aww yeah I can't wait to spend an entire day listening to a sermon in a language I can't understand

EmperorFritoBandito
Aug 7, 2010

by exmarx

The ratio of successful nutsack-brandings to successful peasant revolts is def. in my favor

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
Most revolts were just peasants burning tax records and wiping the slate since if they killed the guy with the sword and armor bandits/a bigger lord would crush them with their humongous medieval ballsacks

  • Locked thread