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Obama is launching a new initiative and branch department of the NSA to ensure that any person claiming fandom, wearing paraphernalia, or decorating their property with any kind of collegiate athletic material or logo has actual ties to said institution. It will be a misdemeanor for the first offense with increasing severity as offenses begin to mount up. "The American people have spoken and I have heard them loud and clear", said President Obama, "We grow weary of folks not even graduating high school, yet claiming solidarity with institutions to which they know nothing about. This demeans our tradition of college athletics and makes it hard for actual college graduates, alumni, employees, and family members of folks actually associated with said institutions to enjoy their kinship with these institutions" The plan is set to take place on Sept 15th, with extensive resources and personnel dedicated to taking in reported offenses and researching their background to see if they indeed are somehow related to these institutions. For purposes of relation they are allowing direct family members to be "relation", but anything beyond that is considered tangential and subject to prosecution. Gone are the days of "my cousin took a class there" or "I grew up near the campus". Citizens must now have actual relationships with the universities in order to proclaim fanship. This is considered a test program for Obama's next initiative, set for 2016, which will focus on whether hardcore gamers are entitled to additional benefits over "casuals".
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 13:46 |
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# ? Apr 25, 2024 13:09 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aM7kC36kEB4
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 13:49 |
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city name sports team is SOL
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 13:59 |
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This law is good and just. Thanks (unironically)
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 14:05 |
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He truly has his finger on the pulse of America
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 14:20 |
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look at me i'm the op, a blah blah blah blah blah.
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 14:21 |
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the SEC is hosed.
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 14:22 |
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FALSE ALUMNUS! FALSE ALUMNUS! LOOK EVERYONE, FALSE ALUMNUS!
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 14:23 |
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Hell Yeah posted:look at me i'm the op, a blah blah blah blah blah. Alabama fan spotted.
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 14:28 |
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Florida FEMA Coffins is my fave team
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 14:43 |
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finally he's taking stolen valor seriously
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 14:51 |
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BigBoss posted:the SEC is hosed. Most SEC members are public universities, so literally anyone who lives in the state has ties to the school because they fund it. Vanderbilt is the only private school and they don't have any fans other than the dorks who went there anyway.
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 14:51 |
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It doesn't matter what division it is, you can't be a fan of a school unless you have a verifiable relationship. Otherwise its a huge fine and confiscation of all materiel.
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 15:55 |
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i once made a fake frat shirt from a white t-shirt and a sharpie, because i was going to a halloween party at that frat and my costume was somebody in the frat i knew; then later i would sometimes wear that shirt bc it was on the top of my drawer, and people would ask me YO ARE YOU IN THIS FRAT WTF MAN
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 15:56 |
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like they were pretty serious about it not being ok to wear frat letters if you weren't in the frat, even though the letters were obviously hand-written on a t-shirt in sharpie
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 15:56 |
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I think under the new law, any Frat that has unregistered members showing their frat symbol or whatever is to be disbanded.
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 17:09 |
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Just replace collegiate athletics with prison athletics and I think the world would be a much better place. San Quentin represent!!!
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 17:44 |
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haha good one op
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 18:38 |
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Not a joke man. Upheld by SCOTUS
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 20:01 |
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Hell Yeah posted:look at me i'm the op, a blah blah blah blah blah.
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 20:12 |
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Posting in bad thred
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 20:14 |
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Mad Monk posted:FALSE ALUMNUS! FALSE ALUMNUS! LOOK EVERYONE, FALSE ALUMNUS!
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 20:19 |
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Darth123123 posted:Posting in bad thred wtf man. just. come on man wtf
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 20:27 |
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You have been visited by the bad thread ghost
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 20:29 |
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Jastiger posted:wtf man. just. come on man wtf Lol No one wears Iowa State poo poo much so nbd
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 20:30 |
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Darth123123 posted:Lol Untrue. My entire family is RIGHT NOW. But some bitch over in processing is wearing Alabama and hasn't even been to the state.
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 20:31 |
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 20:32 |
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Don't post about the south, or go anywhere near a thread about the south, for the god drat 1025th time. User loses posting privileges for 1 month.
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 20:54 |
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someone please report the op for trying to post a stealth thread where he complains about the south for the millionth time
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 20:55 |
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OP you are mentally ill
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 20:55 |
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How is a thread about college about the South
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 21:39 |
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Thanks a lot Obama. (But unironically) Literally wearing a Florida Gators shirt right now btw.
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# ? Sep 12, 2015 03:06 |
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Jastiger posted:How is a thread about college about the South because it is about college ATHLETICS; nearly as important as hs football to southerners
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# ? Sep 12, 2015 03:13 |
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Southern Bastards is a really good comic, simultaneously a love letter and a hate letter to collegiate athletics and the South, and more of you should read it. Imagine if Joe Paterno was also the head of the redneck mafia.
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# ? Sep 12, 2015 03:28 |
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Jastiger posted:Obama is launching a new initiative and branch department of the NSA to ensure that any person claiming fandom, wearing paraphernalia, or decorating their property with any kind of collegiate athletic material or logo has actual ties to said institution. It will be a misdemeanor for the first offense with increasing severity as offenses begin to mount up. yes, but what does this have to do with the south?
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# ? Sep 12, 2015 03:33 |
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I could see someone making a thread like this if they went to a good school that also has good athletics, but I don't think Jastiger went anywhere with either so...????
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# ? Sep 12, 2015 03:37 |
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Punch Card posted:I could see someone making a thread like this if they went to a good school that also has good athletics, but I don't think Jastiger went anywhere with either so...???? are you kidding? his school developed its own highly feared brand of martial arts centered around the deadly IOWA CHOP
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# ? Sep 12, 2015 03:39 |
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is it true that his oldest daughter was lena dunham's intern for the summer? lol she must be dumb as a pile of poo poo
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# ? Sep 12, 2015 04:00 |
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Blue Train posted:are you kidding? his school developed its own highly feared brand of martial arts centered around the deadly IOWA CHOP Exactly. My school also invented the nuke and computers. So it is The Best and thanks to Obama, non HS graduates won't be near the gear now.
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# ? Sep 12, 2015 04:10 |
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# ? Apr 25, 2024 13:09 |
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UVE got spunk kid, and here is a towel for you to wipe the spunk off from your face, lol.
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# ? Sep 12, 2015 04:27 |