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Jerry Mumphrey
Mar 11, 2004

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

like eating a popsicle but cummier

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Mr. Creakle
Apr 27, 2007

Protecting your virginity




That doesn't count unless they make a flavor that tastes like a loogie with a faint hint of chlorine smell

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine
it's not bad until the guy starts wanting it deeper and faster and you're spending the entire time fighting a gag reflex, especially if he has a bigger dilz. i actually really like giving head as long as the dude doesn't have any nad funk and didn't expect deep-throat the whole time. don't be surprised to receive a little teeth with your extensive bj

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Dr. Dogballs Jr. posted:

it's not bad until the guy starts wanting it deeper and faster and you're spending the entire time fighting a gag reflex, especially if he has a bigger dilz. i actually really like giving head as long as the dude doesn't have any nad funk and didn't expect deep-throat the whole time. don't be surprised to receive a little teeth with your extensive bj

a little teeth used well is p good

dudes like that are annoying as gently caress tho i agree

script kitty
Jan 2, 2005

GOTTA GO CATTES
very uncomfortable but worth it if he got a monster dong

a bay
Oct 14, 2014

by Lowtax

I dont like those and I think theyre kind of gross

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine

script kitty posted:

very uncomfortable but worth it if he got a monster dong

you ever gagged yourself on, say, a large cucumber? monster dongs are the hardest to deal with especially if they want more than just the tip. i can only do so much, larger gentlemen, please, i need air down here or you're going to get the awful sound effects/running eye makeup from tears/vomit all over your junk

Archer666
Dec 27, 2008
First few times I deepthroated my throat hurt afterwards :(

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Dr. Dogballs Jr. posted:

you ever gagged yourself on, say, a large cucumber? monster dongs are the hardest to deal with especially if they want more than just the tip. i can only do so much, larger gentlemen, please, i need air down here or you're going to get the awful sound effects/running eye makeup from tears/vomit all over your junk

almost there...

script kitty
Jan 2, 2005

GOTTA GO CATTES
look if the corners of my mouth aren't bleeding then his pecker is insufficient

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

HTTP 400: Bad post
What's his name?

Mr. Creakle
Apr 27, 2007

Protecting your virginity



Dr. Dogballs Jr. posted:

you ever gagged yourself on, say, a large cucumber? monster dongs are the hardest to deal with especially if they want more than just the tip. i can only do so much, larger gentlemen, please, i need air down here or you're going to get the awful sound effects/running eye makeup from tears/vomit all over your junk

Just use your hand on the lower half at the same time, that works fine

If he's huge and insists on deepthroating force a cucumber down his throat

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
Dr. Dogballs Jr. is right on the money, but I would add this: it's very important to breathe if your gag reflex gets activated.

Also, a note for the recipient - don't grab the back of your partner's head and force it down on your penis. That is a dick move :hurr:

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Pththya-lyi posted:

Dr. Dogballs Jr. is right on the money, but I would add this: it's very important to breathe if your gag reflex gets activated.

Also, a note for the recipient - don't grab the back of your partner's head and force it down on your penis. That is a dick move :hurr:

You know yiu love it you little slut

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
Anyway what makes giving a blow job fun is knowing that your partner is under your control. You have the power to give extreme pleasure or extreme pain, you decide how to use that power.

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

Mange Mite posted:

You know yiu love it you little slut

:razz:

RISCy Business
Jun 17, 2015

bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork
Fun Shoe

Pththya-lyi posted:

Dr. Dogballs Jr. is right on the money, but I would add this: it's very important to breathe if your gag reflex gets activated.

Also, a note for the recipient - don't grab the back of your partner's head and force it down on your penis. That is a dick move :hurr:

a good partner will never force unless desired :eng101:

RISCy Business
Jun 17, 2015

bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork
Fun Shoe
someone needs to make an eng101 of the guy holding a dildo instead and call it :sexed:

RISCy Business
Jun 17, 2015

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Fun Shoe
i will consider paying the money to make that a smilie

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
its about like this op

Hexel
Nov 18, 2011




I read somewhere that the tissue inside your mouth is the same as inside a pussy

So if you think about it: you got a pussy mouth

Nic Cage dick cage
Jun 23, 2009

Lipstick Apathy
Apparently it's like being repeatedly punched in your face.

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine

Pththya-lyi posted:

Anyway what makes giving a blow job fun is knowing that your partner is under your control. You have the power to give extreme pleasure or extreme pain, you decide how to use that power.

half the time though they want you kneeling in front of them and they want to grab your hair and drag you up and down their junk and grab your wrists and THEY want to be the one's in control. i only put up with that poo poo if i really like the guy, but I do tell them upfront i expect something a little bit more refined than them just shoving their dick in me in return

Skeleton Ape
Dec 21, 2008



oncearoundaltair posted:

Apparently it's like being repeatedly punched in your face.

:ohdear:

God bless you ladies. My wife is five foot nothing and I don't know how she does it, I think she unhinges her jaw like a snake or some poo poo

tuyop
Sep 15, 2006

Every second that we're not growing BASIL is a second wasted

Fun Shoe

Hexel posted:

I read somewhere that the tissue inside your mouth is the same as inside a pussy

So if you think about it: you got a pussy mouth

Nah the pussy is more like the inside of your nose.

Baxter
Sep 13, 2000
I asked my wife and she said "I don't know".

I laughed, she laughed.



anyway I need bail money

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Dr. Dogballs Jr. posted:

half the time though they want you kneeling in front of them and they want to grab your hair and drag you up and down their junk and grab your wrists and THEY want to be the one's in control. i only put up with that poo poo if i really like the guy, but I do tell them upfront i expect something a little bit more refined than them just shoving their dick in me in return

yeah this was my thought, its more a control thing for the receiver. especially blowing on their eye/face/hair :)

Weener Beater
May 4, 2010
OP, I guess your dicks too short to self suck and find out. Too bad for you

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine

Darth123123 posted:

yeah this was my thought, its more a control thing for the receiver. especially blowing on their eye/face/hair :)

it can definitely be control for the giver, but the receiver kinda has to be into that for them to not get slightly demanding, in my experience. if they're too vanilla to get tied up/shackled/other restraints, i just keep one hand on the hip and one on the chest or hold the wrists down. and i never let them shoot on me, it's always swallow :smuggo:

this thread just turned into a lot of wanking, you're welcome

Son of Rodney
Feb 22, 2006

ohmygodohmygodohmygod

it's, like, bags of sand, OP

tuyop
Sep 15, 2006

Every second that we're not growing BASIL is a second wasted

Fun Shoe

Dr. Dogballs Jr. posted:

it can definitely be control for the giver, but the receiver kinda has to be into that for them to not get slightly demanding, in my experience. if they're too vanilla to get tied up/shackled/other restraints, i just keep one hand on the hip and one on the chest or hold the wrists down. and i never let them shoot on me, it's always swallow :smuggo:

this thread just turned into a lot of wanking, you're welcome

What is swallowing semen like?

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

tuyop posted:

What is swallowing semen like?
For the most part it's ok and I've gotten used to it. Doesn't taste strong just a weird texture. Though some dudes must have some poo poo diets cause once in a while it's plain terrible.

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Hexel posted:

I read somewhere that the tissue inside your mouth is the same as inside a pussy

So if you think about it: you got a pussy mouth

and your lips are the same kind of skin as your rear end in a top hat so when you give a blowjob youre actually letting them gently caress your asspussy

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

kinda gross IMO like most sex acts so whatever

Pastry Mistakes
Apr 6, 2009

It sucks.

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot
it tastes like a man

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine

tuyop posted:

What is swallowing semen like?

kinda like swallowing slightly less disgusting phlegm/snot, really. just have water near by because the texture/flavor sticks around like crazy and don't do multiple loads on an empty stomach. did that one on accident recently... blegh

Sorryformybadjokes
Apr 21, 2004

I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.
Fallen Rib
I once blew my load on an old gf's tits (during her lunch break) and she did up her top and went back to work like it was no big deal

I had to chuckle to myself as we fellas know that if ya don't clean all the jizz up then man it gets all itchy and sticky and poo poo gently caress having that on ur chest for like 4 hours what a trooper she was

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot

Jeff Sichoe posted:

I once blew my load on an old gf's tits (during her lunch break) and she did up her top and went back to work like it was no big deal

I had to chuckle to myself as we fellas know that if ya don't clean all the jizz up then man it gets all itchy and sticky and poo poo gently caress having that on ur chest for like 4 hours what a trooper she was

yeah especially with all her chest hair

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Sorryformybadjokes
Apr 21, 2004

I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.
Fallen Rib
I think you'll find most ladies have a very fine chest hair that is blonde and fair and not really noticeable and is in fact good and cool

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