Remember Gord? Acts of Gord?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Remember Gord? Acts of Gord?

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Justin Godscock: Oct 12, 2004; Listen here, funnyman!

For anyone that wants the tl;dr version instead of reading this whole thread and trying to piece together his story from different posts: http://forums.somethingawful.com/dictionary.php?act=3&topicid=235

All I remember is his stories were just endless "this customer was being disrespectful inside of my store, which I run very well, so I kicked his rear end and was declared a hero in the town". Imagine every single time a goon says "the audience burst into applause" or speak like a Joss Whedon character and you have Acts of Gord.

He was like Maddox except at least Maddox knows its a loving act and plays it up for fun while Gord thinks he really is hot poo poo. I'm shocked his site doesn't 404 me in the year 2015.

Justin Godscock fucked around with this message at 21:43 on Sep 18, 2015

# ? Sep 18, 2015 21:39

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 02:55

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Sigma X posted:

Yeah, I did it. Someone posted a link to his website, everyone loved it, I e-mailed him and said "Hey, come to the forums", goons hated meeting their hero. Incidentally, I met him in person once, he was halfway between the bro that talks constantly about all the mad hot pussy he gets, and an awkward video-game nerd.

quote:

Skyssx and I visited Gord in the sKorean city of Seoul for kicks.

Note: Some of the last posts from him on the forums told that he decided to close down "his" store and go to sKorea to teach English, as he was going to make very good money.

He lived in a small, one-room apartment, common to the sKorean and Japanese basic-wage-earner, full of anime posters and dirty clothes. We spent the evening in his apartment listening to him rant on the fact that "Richard" perma-banned him because he was so envious of his success and popularity on the forums. He also mentioned his monetary success (this was a reoccuring theme about every venture he spoke of that night) from teaching, and showed us some other ways he made money - which included selling anime posters and wall hangings to obsessed fans in the US.

He also brought up his plan to return to the US and open a virtual-reality game center, somewhat similar to Dave & Busters or Jillians. HE also brought up his plan to create a brand-new virtual-reality robot fighting game similar to Steel Battalion.

We speny something like 4 hours there and said maybe three sentences apiece.

A very sad man.

i can believe it

# ? Sep 18, 2015 22:01

Radical and BADical!: Jun 27, 2010; by Lowtax; Fun Shoe

i can see a young jeremy piven playing him in the movie

# ? Sep 18, 2015 22:18

Node: May 20, 2001; KICKED IN THE COOTER; Taco Defender

Nonviolent J posted:

http://www.actsofgord.com

remember goons loved him? and he signed up here? and he was run off the forums by autistic fags?

there was a starcraft competition, where if he lost, he would stop posting forever, if i remember correctly. i think he lost

# ? Sep 18, 2015 22:20

TVs Ian: Jun 1, 2000; Such graceful, delicate creatures.

Node posted:

there was a starcraft competition, where if he lost, he would stop posting forever, if i remember correctly. i think he lost

If I remember right, he didn't just lose, he was utterly demolished. And he had been talking up his Starcraft skills beforehand which his how the challenge even happened.

I think the replays were available for a while, but who knows if they'd even still play right if you downloaded them now.

# ? Sep 18, 2015 22:29

a shiny rock: Nov 13, 2009

quote:

Eventually FYAD poster Corbalt called Gord out December 2002 in FYAD and challenged him to a Starcraft match. The bet: If Corbalt could beat Gord ten times in a row, Gord would be permabanned. If Gord won even once, Corbalt would be permabanned. Corbalt proceeded to hand Gord's rear end to him; Gord claimed only nine games were played even though witnesses clearly witnessed ten.

Flamed out by posting a long, inaccurate rant directed at Lowtax in FYAD shortly before he was permabanned. Afterwards, it was discovered that his web hosting was run by furries.

lol

# ? Sep 18, 2015 22:36

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

TVs Ian posted:

If I remember right, he didn't just lose, he was utterly demolished. And he had been talking up his Starcraft skills beforehand which his how the challenge even happened.

I think the replays were available for a while, but who knows if they'd even still play right if you downloaded them now.

yeah he had to win one match out of ten, and lost all ten

e;fb

# ? Sep 18, 2015 22:37

Frostwerks: Sep 24, 2007; by Lowtax

wow thats a contender for most brutal forum ownage ever

# ? Sep 18, 2015 23:56

Homo Depot: Jun 27, 2007; Studs on sale!

Yeah he had some good stories

# ? Sep 19, 2015 00:13

Node: May 20, 2001; KICKED IN THE COOTER; Taco Defender

Parallax Scroll posted:

lol

lol

# ? Sep 19, 2015 00:19

Nonviolent J: Jul 20, 2006; by FactsAreUseless; Soiled Meat

i like reading the website, takes me back to the early 2000's when i used to read detstar perfect dark secrets and eat doritos

nothins changes really but now its tcrf and beer and im still a juggafag gen 1 pokemon n64 luva

# ? Sep 19, 2015 02:27

Wanamingo: Feb 22, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

No, but I do remember house of gord. Is that still around? If it isn't we should get it back, it's probably a lot better than whatever this is.

# ? Sep 19, 2015 05:05

TOOT BOOT: May 25, 2010

raditts posted:

Yeah it was something like that. When someone posted the original thread about him people were all "BUY THAT GUY AN ACCOUNT" so somebody did

Turns out that some guy that makes up bullshit stories about his adventures owning a video game shop would also be a really lovely poster, who knew

This scenario has played out multiple times in YOSPOS except somehow they always end up being unmedicated schizohprenics.

# ? Sep 19, 2015 05:13

Matey: Mar 28, 2008; eat food

follow the drinking gord

# ? Sep 19, 2015 05:20

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

that was a good website when i was in middle school.

# ? Sep 19, 2015 05:27

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

Was that the videogame store guy who had lots of stories about how badass he was and beat up kids at his videogame store?

I remember that yeah.

# ? Sep 19, 2015 06:27

Hammerite: Mar 9, 2007; And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.; Jade Ear Joe

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

Was that the videogame store guy who had lots of stories about how badass he was and beat up kids at his videogame store?

I remember that yeah.

I only remember one aand it was about how some teen came into his store and tried to sell him pirated playstation games so he slapped the kid around in front of his mom. pretty brutal & believable imo

# ? Sep 19, 2015 06:45

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

i remember the one where a kid scratched his window mural so he chased him outside and strangled him

# ? Sep 19, 2015 07:32

a misanthrope: Jun 21, 2010

has anyone found out what gord is yet? i didnt want to click a link or read the op

can you sum it up in 2 words?

edit: actually make that 1 word i dont have the time

# ? Sep 19, 2015 07:55

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

A misanthrope posted:

has anyone found out what gord is yet? i didnt want to click a link or read the op

can you sum it up in 2 words?

edit: actually make that 1 word i dont have the time

gay

# ? Sep 19, 2015 08:06

a misanthrope: Jun 21, 2010

Fojar38 posted:

gay

ok thnk you for saving me time :hf:

# ? Sep 19, 2015 08:07

Mariana Horchata: Jun 30, 2008; College Slice

Jeebus

# ? Sep 19, 2015 08:07

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

A misanthrope posted:

ok thnk you for saving me time

# ? Sep 19, 2015 08:08

Romes128: Dec 28, 2008; Fun Shoe

Surprised to see he's not morbidly obese tbh

# ? Sep 19, 2015 08:22

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

he was really mad that people got welfare.

# ? Sep 19, 2015 08:54

Nonviolent J: Jul 20, 2006; by FactsAreUseless; Soiled Meat

i like all these original members coming out of the woodwork from this thread

# ? Sep 19, 2015 14:52

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

Wanamingo posted:

No, but I do remember house of gord. Is that still around? If it isn't we should get it back, it's probably a lot better than whatever this is.

# ? Sep 19, 2015 14:57

Pound_Coin: Feb 5, 2004; �

apparently the house of gord guy died a year back,

who combine BDSM and goldcarts now? :qq:

# ? Sep 19, 2015 15:05

red19fire: May 26, 2010

Is mall ninja still alive? I don't want to live in a world where that's stdh.txt

# ? Sep 19, 2015 16:15

Hammerite: Mar 9, 2007; And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.; Jade Ear Joe

You have come to a store called GORD *slaps rude teenager in face*

# ? Sep 19, 2015 16:43

Ka0: Sep 16, 2002; AS A PROUD GAMERGATER THE ONLY THING I HATE MORE THAN WOMEN ARE GAYS AND TRANS PEOPLE

Gord was never hailed as a superstar by goons, the fact that he was run off the forums proves it, it's just another bit of fyad revisionism. Moreso,

# ? Sep 19, 2015 16:47

Rubellavator: Aug 16, 2007

Pound_Coin posted:

apparently the house of gord guy died a year back,

who combine BDSM and goldcarts now?

don't worry, japan has you covered

:nws:

http://www.slutload.com/video/maria-ozawa-gently caress-1-japan-grand-prix-24/R3HHGOsgult/ :nws:

# ? Sep 19, 2015 16:52

Ka0: Sep 16, 2002; AS A PROUD GAMERGATER THE ONLY THING I HATE MORE THAN WOMEN ARE GAYS AND TRANS PEOPLE

quote:

Fear the Gord!

Guy walks in who is about 19.
"Do you give cash for PlayStation games?"
"Yes, but we give less for cash than credit."
"Ok. Well I've got nearly 50 of them" and he sets his sports bag on the counter and opens it. He then begins to unload the games onto the counter.
"Do you have any games that aren't copies of games?"
"You said you paid cash for games!"
"I see. So what you're saying here is you're loving retarded?"
"How about $5 a game?"
"How about you just get the hell out and stop wasting my time?"
"You said!"
"Let's see� so you expect me to pay more for copied games than what it cost you to make them?"
"It's how I make money."
"Fine� fine. "
<Gord grabs CD's and starts to snap them>
"What are you doing?!??"
"Isn't it obvious?"
Guy starts tossing what games he can back into his bag to save that he can.

"I'm never coming back!"

"Don't forget to tell your mom about me!"

And he left, never to return.

he was bigpeeler before there even was a bigpeeler

# ? Sep 19, 2015 16:53

Rubellavator: Aug 16, 2007

gord's stories were all click-bait vengeful nerd poo poo about dumb kids and parents. i found them funny.

# ? Sep 19, 2015 17:02

TwoFire: Sep 11, 2001; by Ralp

TOOT BOOT posted:

This scenario has played out multiple times in YOSPOS except somehow they always end up being unmedicated schizohprenics.

Losethos

# ? Sep 19, 2015 18:50

CRIP EATIN BREAD: Jun 24, 2002; Hey stop worrying bout my acting bitch, and worry about your WACK ass music. In the mean time... Eat a hot bowl of Dicks! Ice T; Soiled Meat

Is this the ladder theory?

# ? Sep 19, 2015 19:38

Mr.Pibbleton: Feb 3, 2006; Aleuts rock, chummer.

argondamn posted:

don't worry, japan has you covered

http://www.slutload.com/video/maria-ozawa-gently caress-1-japan-grand-prix-24/R3HHGOsgult/

I don't want to sign up for that site, but I bet the comments on that video are amazing. :sigh:

# ? Sep 19, 2015 19:58

bucksmash: Mar 11, 2002

at one point his page was hosted by yiff.com lol

# ? Sep 19, 2015 19:59

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 02:55

brenkelieshere: Mar 10, 2007

I live about 2 blocks away from where his store was located.

I used to think the site was funny. Now I'm glad he's no longer a scourge on my now-peaceful city.

# ? Sep 19, 2015 20:13

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Remember Gord? Acts of Gord?

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