NHL PREseason N/V 2015 - The Mullet is Back - The Something Awful Forums

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Vicas: Dec 9, 2009; Sweet tricks, mom.

soggybagel posted:

This is more offseason fodder than actual hockey news but did we not post this yesterday? I guess Jagr slept with some 18 year old model and she tried to sell this news and a selfie to tabloids as some sort of blackmail attempt but then Jagr was just like "Okay I don't care."

Jagr rules.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nhl-puck-daddy/jaromir-jagr-blackmailed-with-scandalous-model-selfie--doesn-t-care--report-172338281.html

Discussion of it yesterday is what led to the thread title (and because I was too lazy to pick anything better)

# ? Sep 21, 2015 22:56

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 22:57

Scaramouche: Mar 26, 2001; SPACE FACE! SPACE FACE!

For the two people who care, Pass It To Bulis has been picked up by another publication the Vancouver Courier. Think of it as a very dry free weekly version of the Georgia Strait:
http://www.vancourier.com/pass-it-to-bulis

Also NHL 16 trip report (because I've never read the games/armchair quarterback threads and never will) based on observing my cousin play it online:
- No one plays defense, at all
- If you say "Come back and fight, you hosers! Come on, eh?" over voice chat there is a 100% chance someone will know that it's from Strange Brew and will respond with either "oh my left nut" or the Koolookoo theme.
- 90% of the games involve Chicago. The remaining 10% involve Tampa Bay
- No one wants to play goalie, and no one is good at playing goalie, yet if one team has a human goalie everyone will bitch and carp until someone plays goalie on the other team to make it "more fair"
- It is entirely possible and humorous to troll your team as the goalie. One good way is to go into the horizontal pad stack position as soon as the whistle blows and never actually get up, just angling the goalie in various ways to block shots. My cousin was doing this and his team loved it so much that 4 of the 5 players on the ice would just lie in front of him in the shot block/stick dive animation, which was remarkably effective. The last guy would wait until everyone was falling over in the quagmire of prone players and then steal the puck and score on a breakaway. They won 15-4.

# ? Sep 21, 2015 23:09

Cocaine Bear: Nov 4, 2011; ACAB

I missed the pocket change angle of the story and it's probably the best part.

What a beautiful man.

# ? Sep 21, 2015 23:10

Vicas: Dec 9, 2009; Sweet tricks, mom.

So should we make a GDT or just spam this thread

# ? Sep 21, 2015 23:49

mcvey: Aug 31, 2006; go caps haha

*Washington Capitals #1 Fan On DeviantArt*

Jaromir Jagr was raped

# ? Sep 21, 2015 23:51

Hand Knit: Oct 24, 2005; Beer Loses more than a game Sunday ...
We lost our Captain, our Teammate, our Friend Kelly Calabro...
Rest in Peace my friend you will be greatly missed..

Vicas posted:

So should we make a GDT or just spam this thread

A GDT seems like a good idea.

mcvey posted:

Jaromir Jagr was raped

I think the real search should be for any NHL execs who went to Oxford.

# ? Sep 21, 2015 23:54

triple sulk: Sep 17, 2014

DJExile posted:

Yeah, the Allentown game will be on CSN. Radio (97.5) is going to the Brooklyn game.

E: sounds like no TV at all at the brooklyn game.

I'm outside Detroit so this doesn't help me. RIP.

Also holy moley Jagr owns.

# ? Sep 21, 2015 23:59

Vicas: Dec 9, 2009; Sweet tricks, mom.

Hand Knit posted:

A GDT seems like a good idea.

You got it, chief: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3743010

# ? Sep 22, 2015 00:05

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

triple sulk posted:

I'm outside Detroit so this doesn't help me. RIP.

Also holy moley Jagr owns.

97.5's webstream has it

# ? Sep 22, 2015 00:12

Serisothikos: Dec 4, 2004; Unlimited Pasta Pass

For the people who are worried about loving PK Subban: if I can do it, so can you.

# ? Sep 22, 2015 00:34

yellowcar: Feb 14, 2010

Everyone should love PK

# ? Sep 22, 2015 00:46

Cocaine Bear: Nov 4, 2011; ACAB

Hand Knit posted:

I think the real search should be for any NHL execs who went to Oxford.

Who's the gm in Rockford?

# ? Sep 22, 2015 00:57

Brodeurs Nanny: Nov 2, 2006

http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/video/lamoriello-passionate-about-maple-leafs-project~709631

Long interview with Lamoriello and Bob McKenzie about his plight to becoming Leafs GM and his future and the approach he has with Babcock and Shanahan as a three-headed decision-maker. Interesting notables include him again essentially saying the Devils lost Parise and Kovalchuk due to the status of the franchise (ownership) and kinda blames the four out of five years of no playoffs on that a little.

He also says in New Jersey he could walk around and nobody would know him, in Toronto everyone knows hockey. Obvious, but funny he'd say so.

# ? Sep 22, 2015 01:12

Excelzior: Jun 24, 2013

PK is a cool and good human being and an excellent hockey player

if you don't agree with any part of this :getout:

# ? Sep 22, 2015 01:15

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

jesus christ another penalty

3-0 inc

# ? Sep 22, 2015 01:17

Ginette Reno: Nov 18, 2006; How Doers get more done; Fun Shoe

The Penguins roster tonight is pretty terrible

# ? Sep 22, 2015 01:23

Cocaine Bear: Nov 4, 2011; ACAB

Buffalo game doesn't show up in HS. Anyone now if it's streaming somewhere else?

# ? Sep 22, 2015 01:25

Doctor Butts: May 21, 2002

soggybagel posted:

This is more offseason fodder than actual hockey news but did we not post this yesterday? I guess Jagr slept with some 18 year old model and she tried to sell this news and a selfie to tabloids as some sort of blackmail attempt but then Jagr was just like "Okay I don't care."

Jagr rules.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nhl-puck-daddy/jaromir-jagr-blackmailed-with-scandalous-model-selfie--doesn-t-care--report-172338281.html

I think the whole story is bullshit.

There's no way he went to sleep after having sex with her.

He probably put on a 50lb weight vest afterwards and went skating for a while.

# ? Sep 22, 2015 01:35

Pornographic Memory: Dec 17, 2008

Ginette Reno posted:

The Penguins roster tonight is pretty terrible

ben lovejoy: #1 D

# ? Sep 22, 2015 01:38

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

Pornographic Memory posted:

ben lovejoy: #1 D

yeeeeesh

# ? Sep 22, 2015 01:39

ElwoodCuse: Jan 11, 2004; we're puttin' the band back together

Tom Kostopolous is playing for the Penguins tonight, let that sink in

# ? Sep 22, 2015 01:45

Vicas: Dec 9, 2009; Sweet tricks, mom.

I know preseason split-squad is even more meaningless than regular old preseason, but goddamn Konecny looked fantastic, Medvedev looked fine, Vinny is in the best shape of his life, everything is perfect, Stanley Cup here we come

# ? Sep 22, 2015 02:30

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

Doctor Butts posted:

I think the whole story is bullshit.

There's no way he went to sleep after having sex with her.

He probably put on a 50lb weight vest afterwards and went skating for a while.

That's what he did first, then she had to rub his legs for an hour and the predictable happened.

# ? Sep 22, 2015 02:39

Zodijackylite: Oct 18, 2005; hello bonjour, en francais we call the bread man l'homme de pain, because pain means bread and we're going to see a lot of pain this year and every nyrfan is looking forward to it and hey tony, can you wait until after my postgame interview to get on your phone? i thought you quit twitter...

Brodeurs Nanny posted:

http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/video/lamoriello-passionate-about-maple-leafs-project~709631

Long interview with Lamoriello and Bob McKenzie about his plight to becoming Leafs GM and his future and the approach he has with Babcock and Shanahan as a three-headed decision-maker. Interesting notables include him again essentially saying the Devils lost Parise and Kovalchuk due to the status of the franchise (ownership) and kinda blames the four out of five years of no playoffs on that a little.

He also says in New Jersey he could walk around and nobody would know him, in Toronto everyone knows hockey. Obvious, but funny he'd say so.

Lou is basically there to trade any pending UFAs on the roster for picks and prospects/depth the franchise likes, right?

# ? Sep 22, 2015 02:40

neckbeard: Jan 25, 2004; Oh Bambi, I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy...

poo poo wrong thread

# ? Sep 22, 2015 02:41

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

For the first time, we have had 3-on-3 OT fail to deliver. PIT/CBJ to home run derby.

# ? Sep 22, 2015 02:47

Pornographic Memory: Dec 17, 2008

Zodijackylite posted:

Lou is basically there to trade any pending UFAs on the roster for picks and prospects/depth the franchise likes, right?

and also to assign numbers and make everybody shave their beards

# ? Sep 22, 2015 02:47

Hand Knit: Oct 24, 2005; Beer Loses more than a game Sunday ...
We lost our Captain, our Teammate, our Friend Kelly Calabro...
Rest in Peace my friend you will be greatly missed..

Zodijackylite posted:

Lou is basically there to trade any pending UFAs on the roster for picks and prospects/depth the franchise likes, right?

I think he's also there to counterbalance the fact that the rest of the Leafs' front office have a combined age of under 100.

# ? Sep 22, 2015 02:47

HookShot: Dec 26, 2005

Boooo go gently caress yourselves Canucks all I want is to see the Sedins play 3-on-3 OT, you don't even have to play them for the rest of the game but at least dress them just for that.

# ? Sep 22, 2015 03:28

Zodijackylite: Oct 18, 2005; hello bonjour, en francais we call the bread man l'homme de pain, because pain means bread and we're going to see a lot of pain this year and every nyrfan is looking forward to it and hey tony, can you wait until after my postgame interview to get on your phone? i thought you quit twitter...