Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
CoolCat
Jun 29, 2015

You are my cat
You are not a rat
You not not like rice
But you do like mice
Your tail is bushy

I love you kitty

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Tendai
Mar 16, 2007

"When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber."

Grimey Drawer
seems like a good poem for a good cat

a+ friend

CoolCat
Jun 29, 2015

Coming from somebody with such a beautiful avatar, that means a lot :-)

cda
Jan 2, 2010

by Hand Knit
pre:
I will consider my Cat Jeoffry
Christopher Smart, 1722 - 1771

For I will consider my Cat Jeoffry.
For he is the servant of the Living God, duly and daily serving him.
For at the first glance of the glory of God in the East he worships in his way.
For is this done by wreathing his body seven times round with elegant quickness.
For then he leaps up to catch the musk, which is the blessing of God upon his prayer.
For he rolls upon prank to work it in.
For having done duty and received blessing he begins to consider himself.
For this he performs in ten degrees.
For first he looks upon his forepaws to see if they are clean.
For secondly he kicks up behind to clear away there.
For thirdly he works it upon stretch with the forepaws extended.
For fourthly he sharpens his paws by wood.
For fifthly he washes himself.
For sixthly he rolls upon wash.
For seventhly he fleas himself, that he may not be interrupted upon the beat.
For eighthly he rubs himself against a post.
For ninthly he looks up for his instructions.
For tenthly he goes in quest of food.
For having considered God and himself he will consider his neighbor.
For if he meets another cat he will kiss her in kindness.
For when he takes his prey he plays with it to give it a chance.
For one mouse in seven escapes by his dallying.
For when his day’s work is done his business more properly begins.
For he keeps the Lord’s watch in the night against the adversary. 
For he counteracts the powers of darkness by his electrical skin and glaring eyes.
For he counteracts the Devil, who is death, by brisking about the life.
For in his morning orisons he loves the sun and the sun loves him.
For he is of the tribe of Tiger.
For the Cherub Cat is a term of the Angel Tiger.
For he has the subtlety and hissing of a serpent, which in goodness he suppresses.
For he will not do destruction if he is well-fed, neither will he spit without provocation.
For he purrs in thankfulness when God tells him he’s a good Cat.
For he is an instrument for the children to learn benevolence upon.
For every house is incomplete without him, and a blessing is lacking in the spirit.
For the Lord commanded Moses concerning the cats at the departure of the Children of Israel 
            from Egypt.
For every family had one cat at least in the bag.
For the English Cats are the best in Europe.
For he is the cleanest in the use of his forepaws of any quadruped.
For the dexterity of his defense is an instance of the love of God to him exceedingly.
For he is the quickest to his mark of any creature.
For he is tenacious of his point.
For he is a mixture of gravity and waggery.
For he knows that God is his Saviour.
For there is nothing sweeter than his peace when at rest. 
For there is nothing brisker than his life when in motion. 
For he is of the Lord’s poor, and so indeed is he called by benevolence perpetually--Poor Jeoffry!
            poor Jeoffry! the rat has bit thy throat.
For I bless the name of the Lord Jesus that Jeoffry is better. 
For the divine spirit comes about his body to sustain it in complete cat.
For his tongue is exceeding pure so that it has in purity what it wants in music.
For he is docile and can learn certain things.
For he can sit up with gravity, which is patience upon approbation.
For he can fetch and carry, which is patience in employment.
For he can jump over a stick, which is patience upon proof positive.
For he can spraggle upon waggle at the word of command.
For he can jump from an eminence into his master’s bosom.
For he can catch the cork and toss it again.
For he is hated by the hypocrite and miser.
For the former is afraid of detection. 
For the latter refuses the charge.
For he camels his back to bear the first notion of business.
For he is good to think on, if a man would express himself neatly.
For he made a great figure in Egypt for his signal services.
For he killed the Icneumon rat, very pernicious by land.
For his ears are so acute that they sting again.
For from this proceeds the passing quickness of his attention.
For by stroking of him I have found out electricity.
For I perceived God’s light about him both wax and fire.
For the electrical fire is the spiritual substance which God sends from heaven to sustain the 
            bodies both of man and beast.
For God has blessed him in the variety of his movements.
For, though he cannot fly, he is an excellent clamberer.
For his motions upon the face of the earth are more than any other quadruped.
For he can tread to all the measures upon the music.
For he can swim for life.
For he can creep.

CoolCat
Jun 29, 2015

The author of that work clearly hasn't heard of less is more. Imagine somebody out there liking that poem more than mine...

Apple Jax
May 19, 2008

IDIC 4 LYF
Felis catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,
An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature;
Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses
Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in

Hi OP, I tried writing a poem for my cat too. I think yours is better but everybody has to start somewhere :)

I love my cat friend.
He is gray and has white socks.
He does not eat birds.

ty for reading, god bless.

Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007


The poem confuses me b/c I don't see how a cat can be like rice. Rice likes water like water and rice.

embykins
Jul 4, 2009
every time you use the litter box, you get spooked
darting room to room after you have dooked
you must be running for cover; our apartment has been nuked.

EXTREME INSERTION
Jun 4, 2011

by LadyAmbien
Sweet feline creature
You compete with the puppy
A contest of farts

EXTREME INSERTION
Jun 4, 2011

by LadyAmbien
A rancid zephyr
Clearing the entire room
Must be the new food

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Tendai
Mar 16, 2007

"When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber."

Grimey Drawer
shat on by parrot
you are a shameful feline
go sleep for five hours

Conversely:

shat on the cat, wow
that is some impressive aim
good bird, have a treat

  • Locked thread