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gl goon, hope things get better
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Sep 23, 2015 04:40
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dad gay. so what posted:i like how millennials exaggerate so much. pretty frikken entitled imo wow what a triggering post. today was going quite well until i come home to read this. welp, gonna go drink a 12 pack. was going to drink to celebrate a good day, now going to drink to drown my sorrow & anger.
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Sep 23, 2015 04:54
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I worked in a library for 5 years and we had our homeless regulars. As long as you don't smell like piss or leave grease stains on the furniture, everything was cool. The librarians had nicknames for everyone like Zappa, Frito Bandito, Microfiche Bro and Piss Lady. What do you think your nickname is?
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Sep 23, 2015 05:07
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I was trying to figure out which library you're living at and then when I read that you dont do hard drugs i realized we have nothing in common. man that guy who said this town damages people is really right
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Sep 23, 2015 11:20
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why the hell am I so drat fascinated by tales of homelessness? Anyway, if I can let you in on a little secret that even most people with regular jobs don't know - eating refined carbohydrate of any kind generates an addictive pattern of behaviour and is terrible for your long term health (not to mention your teeth which I imagine you are keen to keep as healthy as possible by any means!!!) - so if you can change your food choices to strictly prioritise sources of animal fats and protein and cheap vegetables and avoid all sugars and carbs. Eating 70% of your calories from monounsaturated and saturated (animal) fats and oils is totally fine, which most people don't realise leading to those fatty foods being perceived as 'low-quality' and significantly cheaper (think cheap high-fat sausages, ground meats and other offcuts, sardines etc). The protein will prevent muscle wasteage and help you recover from the considerable increase in physical activity of walking everywhere. Fats are the most calorifically dense macronutrient per gram, so if carrying your food is something you do a lot then this might make things easier. Or when food choices appear, take as much of fats and leave the empty carbs, especially sugared beverages. Flaky fucked around with this message at 13:14 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 13:01
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Good luck OP, you seem to be smart enough to get through this. I'm an rear end in a top hat retard myself and I probably have a job at the moment but I'm not sure.
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Sep 23, 2015 13:06
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Hey OP I'm gonna be like you in a few years too so please write more about how to survive in a library.
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Sep 23, 2015 13:19
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lovely luck OP. How old are you?
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Sep 23, 2015 17:51
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probably old enough to get a job.
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Sep 23, 2015 18:12
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Vitalis Jackson posted:I strongly urge you to leave Las Vegas. That city can damage a person. I don't have the gas or the money to leave the immediate neighborhood, at the moment. Pththya-lyi posted:This but unironically, take care OP Enfield posted:gl goon, hope things get better Thanks. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Plus, like, applying for jobs and whatnot. PHIZ KALIFA posted:WyzAnt doesn't require 4 year degrees, you could use it to find local folk who want to learn your tech mastery. theyve even got an online classroom now. Thank you. I am not familiar with WyzAnt, but I will take a look right away. wilfredmerriweathr posted:Look for work in Salt Lake city, there's tech jobs out the wazoo and the LDS (that's mormons) are pretty drat kind to homeless, though they will often proselytize. It's 420mi from Las Vegas, that's barely more than one tank of gas. Also SLC will give you a place to live even if you don't have a job. http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2015/02/housing-first-solution-to-homelessness-utah Ah, I think I read about that housing initiative. I didn't remember that it was in Salt Lake City. I have been sending resumes to job postings in Nevada, Utah, Arizona, California, Washington state, D.C., Colorado, Florida, and Ohio. Basically, any place that is within one state of me, or where I have some sort of connection or potential resource to help me move. I will post stories as things occur. I'm not sure how often there will be anything worth writing about, but I do have one I will post at the end of this reply. Waroduce posted:hello from the goldmine Eh, I doubt it. So far, the only really noteworthy thing to happen is the poor crazy guy yelling at the support post. peanut posted:I worked in a library for 5 years and we had our homeless regulars. As long as you don't smell like piss or leave grease stains on the furniture, everything was cool. I don't know, but I am guessing it isn't flattering. I am quite tall, and quite heavy, and I haven't had a haircut in months, so my hair is frizzy and uneven. I have a beard, but it was trimmed shortly before I became homeless, so it isn't entirely out of control, yet. I've been pretty quiet. Maybe they haven't named me, yet. Panda Bear posted:I was trying to figure out which library you're living at and then when I read that you dont do hard drugs i realized we have nothing in common. man that guy who said this town damages people is really right This town has been OK to me in the past. I was warned repeatedly that you needed to know people in Vegas in order to find work. I hadn't run into that problem, previously. Now, I am a believer. SHISHKABOB posted:Hey OP I'm gonna be like you in a few years too so please write more about how to survive in a library. Do you have specific questions? My first piece of advice is: don't end up living in a library. After that, it becomes more granular. Darth123123 posted:lovely luck OP. How old are you? I turned 38 this month, so... ScrotoTurboSperg posted:probably old enough to get a job. Flaky posted:Food advice. Story time Story involves not-so-fresh meat, blood, and poop. Turn back, now. This story is why I am not getting around to posting until 2:00 in the afternoon. I apologize in advance for it being long, and rambly, and not particularly witty. I am still in considerable pain, and I do not have the energy for editing. I am currently in "eat whatever is available" mode. I'd love to pick and choose between carbs and fats, and balance intake percentages and everything, but it's pretty much catch as catch can, right now. A few days ago, a friend gave me a package of two turkey/pork/whatever sausages because he bought them on a 4-for-$5 sale. I boiled them, because that was the only method available to me. They are the only "real" food I've had access to in quite a while, so I wanted to make them last. Sadly, "lasting" in this case means, "sitting in my 120 degree car day after day." Well, yesterday, I opened the container I had them in, and they were gross. They felt slimy, and mushy, and there was yellowish liquid in the bottom of the container. They didn't smell too great, either. So, I did not eat them. I did not eat them... at that point in time. As the morning wore on, I got hungrier. I'd had naught but a handful of dry cereal, and an ancient bagel in the previous 24+ hours. My mind kept returning to the salty, meaty goodness in the box on the floor of my car. I finally gave in. Eating them was disgusting, but they tasted OK once I got past the gross texture and the off-putting smell. I only ate a few bites, sort of testing the waters. Several hours later, I wasn't dead, so I went back out to my car for another nibble. At that point, the sun was well up, and the car was hot, and I swear those sausages had deteriorated even further. As hungry as I was, I still only ate a little bit of what was left. I thought I had gotten away with it. Last night, at around 10pm, my stomach began to rumble, and I felt pressure building in my gut. I tried to ignore it, but the discomfort grew and grew, until I knew I had a problem. Finding a place that will let you poop without making a purchase is not always easy. I had the added challenge of not being able to put fuel in my car, so I had to try and keep it close. No bathroom available. Out of order. Customers only. This was getting bad. I finally found a place with an unguarded toilet, and ran in to do my business. It was... unpleasant. Still, I felt the pressure ease off, and I thought I would be OK for a while. I was not OK for very long. A little after midnight, the pressure came back, this time even worse. I was trying to catch some sleep in my car in a somewhat busy parking lot, but my guts were conspiring with the other cars and the foot traffic to keep me awake. I really, really didn't want to spend more of my precious fuel reserves driving around looking for a bathroom, but dropping my pants and making GBS threads in a populated parking lot was not a viable option. So, I rolled out. This time, I circled farther and farther out from my starting point without finding a single available toilet, or a secluded spot where I could leave some fertilizer and run. I am sure there must have been bathrooms available, but I couldn't find them. I ended up driving faaar to a locals casino, where I managed to do the needful. Now, however, I was in a very busy place with no hope of being able to park without being noticed, and almost certainly harassed. Casinos take a dim view of vagrants sleeping in their parking lots, and the streets around this casino were not conducive to pulling over and napping unnoticed. I waited a while to see if my guts were going to settle down, but I couldn't sit there forever. I ended up burning even more gas trying to find somewhere to sleep. I did not sleep for long. I awoke to a fierce rumbling and churning in my gut, and I started the car in a near-panic. I went racing for the place I had stopped at the day before (I was on that side of town, again), but someone was in the bathroom! Argh! I stood around waiting for the bathroom door to open, until the employees started asking if I needed something. So, I bought a fountain drink with two of the last $4 I had in the entire world, because I really, really needed to use the bathroom. Whoever was in there was taking his time. I knocked, but there was no answer. At that point, I was seriously afraid I was going to drop a bomb in the gas station convenience store. I finally gave up, and hauled rear end for my car. I started the engine, and went racing up the street looking for relief. I am literally chanting to myself, at this point. "I don't believe this. I am actually going to poo poo my loving pants. I am really going to poo poo my pants. I don't believe this. I am a grown man, and I am going to poo poo my loving pants." I finally found a P.T.'s Pub, just at the edge of a construction zone. There's one lane of traffic, and it isn't moving. I can see the turn-in to the parking lot, but I can't loving get to it. I am clenching my butt-cheeks with all the force I can muster, and punching myself in the chest in frustration and an attempt to distract myself from the unbearable loving pressure in my gut. Finally, traffic inches forward enough for me to duck between a couple of road cones diagonally across two lanes of oncoming traffic and zoom into the P.T.s parking lot. The walk to the door was maybe 80 feet, but it felt like a mile, and I very nearly made trouser chili while walking up the steps to the door. It turns out you cannot maintain maximum anal sphincter clench force when lifting one foot off the ground to climb stairs. Of course, there was literally no one in there but the bartender, and he was Mr. Friendly. "Hey! Welcome to P.T.'s. How are you? What can I get for you?" I didn't even have enough money to buy a Coke, so I muttered something, and made for the bathroom. I was in the P.T.'s bathroom for an uncomfortably long time. I was not willing to leave until I was sure the job was done. In a strange and delightful turn of events, this P.T.'s Pub had real toilet paper. Bottom-shelf stuff, to be sure, but worlds better than that .0002 millimeter industrial stuff with pulp still in it that you find in most public restrooms. Wiping, when I finally reached that point, was a bit painful. Uhoh. Yes. Yes, that's a streak of blood on the toilet paper. Sigh. I exited the bathroom, and it appeared to be shift change, because there was now a second bartender, and the one who had been on duty when I came in was counting the drawer. His back was turned, and I made my escape without further small talk, and without having to feel like any more of an rear end in a top hat for riding in on my steed of poo poo and leaving without spending any money. I had barely pulled out of the P.T.'s parking lot, when a new wave of gut-cramps hit, as if I had not relieved myself at all. loving unbelievable! I try to ride it out. Things settle down for a minute, then get worse, again. During this struggle, I received a text from a friend who was home alone and invited me over to get a shower and do some laundry. Of course, I made a beeline for his bathroom. That's when the fun - and the pain - really started. I spent most of the next three hours in his bathroom, releasing what felt like liquid barbed wire. How can something so soft be so loving sharp? Now, it was not streaks on the toilet paper. I was drizzling a fairly steady stream of blood into his toilet. I also saw what appeared to be tissue (the human kind) in the bowl, but I am choosing to ignore that, for now. The volume lessened with each trip to the bowl, but the pain increased. The last couple of sits were mostly horrific cramps with a tiny squirt of brown flame at the end. Now, I have what feels like a bunch of grapes crowded around my rear end in a top hat, and it feels like my sphincter has been battered with a spiked club. My guts are still roiling and cramping, but the pucker pain is so severe that it is staying firmly closed, no matter what I tell it to do. If I die, tell them I died doing what I loved: writhing in pain from inflamed hemorrhoids while my churning guts try to push lava through my poop gate. Thus ends my tale of near-fatal fecality. The moral of this story is: don't eat mushy, slimy meat that smells bad and has been sitting in your car stewing in its own mystery juices for days on end.
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Sep 23, 2015 21:55
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keep updating. id be homeless and slash dead if it werent for decent support from my fam and friends. keep on keeping on is what i guess im saying. bye, gl
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Sep 23, 2015 22:04
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probably the best near-pants making GBS threads story i've read, 8/10 keep applying for jobs obviously - don't be too picky to start with, you can always upgrade later once you've sorted out basics like food and shelter. cool that you have friends who give a lending hand. dunno if you've read the thread in E/N Bullshit about a homeless OP who is now clawing his way out and landed a job in a museum after enduring a bit of a rollercoaster ride, it's a good read and might be 'inspiring' idk. good luck and stay safe.
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Sep 23, 2015 22:14
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Hey OP how did you become a bum in the first place? You can't have been a bum forever, when did it all start to go downhill and why? Have you thought about cleaning yourself up and finding a really fat girl at a bar you can charm and maybe she'll let you stay with her if you make up a good lie
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Sep 23, 2015 22:16
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I dont knwo if this would help, but if you're having trouble even getting interviews it might be worth a shot, have you tried making your resume ... less good? I know this is super lovely, butthere are times at my company we've just tossed applications because the person was way too qualified and "no one in their late 30s is going to interested in taking a job as a minimum wage copywriter so why waste both our time" Like I said, no idea if this will help, but it might be enough to get you into the interview atleast
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Sep 23, 2015 22:18
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Here's a list of local resources, hope it helps. Have you tried checking the Vegas Goons thread to see if anyone's willing to at least let you shower and shave?
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Sep 23, 2015 22:40
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interseting stories OP, have you thought of trooning out, maybe getting a little into schizophrenia?
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Sep 23, 2015 22:41
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I'm not sure android development is the best way to go if you are desperate for a job. And publishing your own app(s) is a longshot for a living wage. Learning Java is good though, or python. Also sounds like you know backend web stuff, which makes it strange that you can't find a job. Maybe just gtfo of Vegas and when applying to jobs, you could try making it clear you will work for entry level wages. A lot of companies don't want to hire programmers over 30 since they assume salary demands will be much higher and skills won't be that much better than a recent college grad. Good luck to you! edit: actually it's been a long time since I looked for a job, so maybe mobile dev in the US has a decent amount of jobs, maybe someone who programs for mobile can tell you more. I found this for best languages to learn if you need a job: http://www.sitepoint.com/best-programming-language-learn-2015-job-demand-salaries/ quote:Java — featured in 18% of adverts with an average salary of $100,000 USD Sophy Wackles fucked around with this message at 00:07 on Sep 24, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 22:50
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If you can only boil stuff get some brown rice man, takes longer than white to cook but nice, healthy and keeps you full also tuna cans? good for you too, cheap as hell here. if I was homeless I'd be living off that poo poo, actually I live off it anyway and i'm not homeless, just cheap
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Sep 23, 2015 23:01
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Your library name could be Sasquatch. Sorry about your butt. I wouldn't worry about using real toilets every time... does Vegas have parks? Parks with public toilets?
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Sep 23, 2015 23:45
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Check ksl for jobs in salt lake. Craigslist isn't too big there for whatever reason.
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Sep 23, 2015 23:49
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Enfield posted:keep updating. id be homeless and slash dead if it werent for decent support from my fam and friends. keep on keeping on is what i guess im saying. bye, gl Thanks. I'm doing my best to keep moving. lorn Wayne posted:probably the best near-pants making GBS threads story i've read, 8/10 Thank you. I followed that thread early on, but lost contact somewhere in the middle. I might have another look when I get a chance. NigelsPoppet posted:Hey OP how did you become a bum in the first place? You can't have been a bum forever, when did it all start to go downhill and why? I lost a pretty good job, and got hit by a slew of health problems at almost the same time. Unlike literally every other time I've ever looked for a job, I suddenly found I wasn't getting any return calls, or emails, or any interest of any kind from potential employers. I had some money saved up (my previous employer had given me a five-figure bonus shortly before firing me), so I worked on a gaming-related project that didn't pan out. I sunk a lot of hours into that, as well as some money filing for a provisional patent and some other things. When it became obvious that was failing, I went back to full-time job-seeking, but the non-interest continued. I got an opportunity to work on another project that I thought had tremendous potential, so I did. I learned Laravel 5 and built the site mentioned in my original post. That was basically an 80-hour-per-week job for five months. I delivered a great product. The other dev delivered a great product. Then, the whole thing collapsed largely due to squabbling on the part of the people in charge. As of now, it's in limbo, and it appears to be dead. I normally wouldn't have been involved in something like that, but I was having no luck with the job search, and the I really believed in the project. I don't know if there is a woman fat enough to find me attractive in my current state. Even if I could find one, I don't think I could do what you suggest. One of the few things I still have is that I like myself as a human being. I'm not willing to give that up just yet. Nooner posted:I dont knwo if this would help, but if you're having trouble even getting interviews it might be worth a shot, have you tried making your resume ... less good? I hadn't thought to downplay my experience, but maybe there's something to that. Still, I'm not sure what kind of success I could expect if I catfished my way into interviews. PHIZ KALIFA posted:Here's a list of local resources, hope it helps. Have you tried checking the Vegas Goons thread to see if anyone's willing to at least let you shower and shave? Thank you. I've popped in and out of the Vegas thread in the Travel subforum, but I haven't really gotten to know anyone in there. gently caress the ROW posted:interseting stories OP, have you thought of trooning out, maybe getting a little into schizophrenia? I feel like schizophrenia would have revealed itself, by now. I guess I'm stuck with whatever mental disorders I already have. Pawn 17 posted:I'm not sure android development is the best way to go if you are desperate for a job. And publishing your own app(s) is a longshot for a living wage. Learning Java is good though, or python. Also sounds like you know backend web stuff, which makes it strange that you can't find a job. Maybe just gtfo of Vegas and when applying to jobs, you could try making it clear you will work for entry level wages. A lot of companies don't want to hire programmers over 30 since they assume salary demands will be much higher and skills won't be that much better than a recent college grad. Good luck to you! I selected that because nearly every developer ad I see - especially for entry-level stuff - is focused on mobile development. I have an Android device, and no access to Apple anything, so Android seemed like the way to go. BoonyPC posted:If you can only boil stuff get some brown rice man, takes longer than white to cook but nice, healthy and keeps you full I can no longer boil things. Tuna is a good idea. As soon as I can get approved for some sort of food assistance, I'll be stocking up on cans of tuna and fruit. No sausages, though. Poopdate: guts settled briefly, then came on worse than ever. I am concerned about the amount of blood I am losing. Can hemorrhoids kill me? I may end up in the emergency room. I will, of course, update the thread if that happens. Edit: peanut posted:Your library name could be Sasquatch. When my hair was long, and I was younger, I got compared to Big Show constantly. I have, in fact, been referred to as Sasquatch in the past. If the beard gets bushy enough, I could see that one making a comeback. I'm worried about getting caught making GBS threads in the streets more than the act of making GBS threads in the streets. In this particular case, I don't think my legs could have supported me for the amount of time I'd have had to spend squatting. wilfredmerriweathr posted:Check ksl for jobs in salt lake. Craigslist isn't too big there for whatever reason. I did not know that. Thanks for the tip. Centripetal Horse fucked around with this message at 00:11 on Sep 24, 2015 |
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Sep 24, 2015 00:08
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Centripetal Horse posted:
guessing probably also don't eat spoiled meat
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Sep 24, 2015 00:28
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Flaky posted:why the hell am I so drat fascinated by tales of homelessness? Not only are you an insane idiot, but you fail to realize this guys pantry is a sun baked car. Dry cereal and beef jerky is basically his best options. Any fat or oil based food will go rancid in a day.
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Sep 24, 2015 00:40
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there are a lot less easy ways to do it now, but free meals are plenty if you can maintain basic hygiene, i know its not always easy but a halfway clean guy can pick up enough scraps at buffet type places or hotels if you can speak like a human and can think on your feet. some day you will look back on this and laugh. you will get through this. it will probably be the greatest adventure of your life. good luck
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Sep 24, 2015 00:51
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notZaar posted:Not only are you an insane idiot, but you fail to realize this guys pantry is a sun baked car. Dry cereal and beef jerky is basically his best options. Any fat or oil based food will go rancid in a day. shut up rear end in a top hat you dont know poo poo, he has google too obviously
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Sep 24, 2015 00:52
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I like a good joke thread. You put some effort into it I'll give you that, but this is SA. No matter what you say you're just trolling. Next time try and make the characters in your story more believable.
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Sep 24, 2015 01:05
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i felt every butt clenching squirm in your story op be safe you bloody bum (lol)
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Sep 24, 2015 01:17
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Godspeed, poopy hobo goon
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Sep 24, 2015 01:35
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I'm legitimately concerned that you're going to poo poo yourself to death
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Sep 24, 2015 02:33
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Try selling plasma for an easy $60-80 a week. God bless, gentlegoon.
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Sep 24, 2015 03:08
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Cool NIN Shirt posted:Try selling plasma for an easy $60-80 a week. God bless, gentlegoon. This is a good call
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Sep 24, 2015 03:13
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use your plasma wisely, OP
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Sep 24, 2015 03:19
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Rasmussen posted:I like a good joke thread. You put some effort into it I'll give you that, but this is SA. No matter what you say you're just trolling. Next time try and make the characters in your story more believable. So finish u r thought. K
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Sep 24, 2015 03:22
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a disgusting hobo living at the library!? you're definitely the first one to have that idea.
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Sep 24, 2015 03:33
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There is a shortage of kitchen help in most cites (true) and anyone can wash dishes for 8 hours a day. It sure as gently caress beats whatever your life plans are right now OP. As long as you don't work in a complete shithole you'll probably get a hot meal out of it as well.
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Sep 24, 2015 03:39
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Centripetal Horse posted:Thank you. I've popped in and out of the Vegas thread in the Travel subforum, but I haven't really gotten to know anyone in there. As much as I respect your self-sufficiency, You Are In Crisis. Toss a link to this thread, ask for any help anyone is able to give.
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Sep 24, 2015 03:40
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Hey OP, that's loving rough. I don't know what I can really do to help, but if you're at the library all day, maybe try those lovely sites that give you paypal/vouchers for doing surveys? http://www.mysurvey.net.au/ for example. Best of luck, dude.
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Sep 24, 2015 11:03
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imo we should all chip in and buy this guy some pants
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Sep 24, 2015 12:23
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Cool NIN Shirt posted:Try selling plasma for an easy $60-80 a week. God bless, gentlegoon. There's a place on Cheyenne and LVB that'll give you fifty dollars the first five times you donate in 30 days, and a place on Trop and Pecos that has a similar promotion. Both require either two forms of ID or an ID + social security card (I forget which) and either one or two pieces of mail (again, I forget which). you can effectively only go to one of these places though as they have systems in place to prevent you from donating too many times in a week. honestly if you need anything random don't be afraid to ask. like if you need a blazer or a tie for an interview or you're starving one day or something. I'll see if I can track down some leads on any available jobs as well. Antifa Sarkeesian fucked around with this message at 13:18 on Sep 24, 2015 |
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Sep 24, 2015 13:15
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 14:26 |
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if you're having trouble finding a designated making GBS threads street have you considered india, OP?
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Sep 24, 2015 13:21
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