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 Not an accurate representation of the scale or location of the Grocery Store! As shopping and consumerism becomes ever more present in our global culture, retailers such as Wal-Mart have spread rapidly across the globe, cornering ever greater shares of the market and turning ever larger profits. Many thousands of massive stores now exist throughout the world, their enormous structures containing items purchased by the millions each and every day by people all over the world. On this day, one of those retail outlets meets with an individual from a country, a location in the world, as does happen thousands of times each day in thousands of locations. This is not the story of a person making a stand against the system. This is not the story of a person who has mighty abilities, or the power to shoot fire from their eyes, or who totally knows a secret dwarf prince or something that would probably be really cool in the hands of a competent CYOA creator. This is the story of a person like you or I. A person who’s just looking to get some stuff and save some money. Hello, and welcome to the Grocery Store! Well, that’s what they call it, anyway. Your beloved hometown of… 1:What is the name of your hometown? Feel free to add in any identifying details (population size, town history, involvement in countrywide events, etc.), located in... 2: What country does this take place in? Due to my personal linguistic failings, the language will be English, but don’t worry too much about all the other details. You have bigger fish to fry! Or purchase. All right, well, your beloved home area used to have a much beloved shopping area, that you and your friends(family?) frequented. Unfortunately, the wheels of progress turn relentlessly and mercilessly, and it has been forced out of business. Who knows, you might see the old owners within the brand new Walmart! Progress stops for nobody, but all are willing to join in its bounties - a new megastore (still affectionately referred to as the Grocery Store!) has just been opened, and on this pleasant afternoon, you’re going to enjoy it to its fullest. But why? Who are you? 3: Name your character, select their age, height, years of schooling, personality, write out some history… Go nuts with it! Make them the kind of person you’d want to be/like to see shopping! 4: Pick the phrase that best describes your character’s attributes as a shopper. Rounded Rustler:  While not the most agile cart pusher, tallest shelf scourer, strongest keg lifter, or craftiest shopping professional, you are, regardless, an experienced shopper. While some people might be able to beat you at those things, you’re still quite well-rounded and know how to get through an ordinary store! Shelf Scourer:  A strangely proportioned individual, you have discovered through many tribulations shopping that your body makes you a bit superhuman at certain things. You can reach awkwardly placed items, and have the vision to see them from afar. You’re not incredibly strong or fast, but you don’t need to be - you lie in wait, like the silent assassin of the canned goods aisle. Cart Champion:  You’ve always wanted to go fast, and in your nearest shopping location of choice, you sure can go fast! While you aren’t always the best at seeing out of the way items or lifting heavy things, you sure can beat the crowds and get to them first, with your uncanny speed and ability to handle yourself in a shopping location. Go, go cart racer! Powerful Purchaser:  Shopping tactics and good form are always nice, but that’s not your style. You got your start lifting cows, and now you triumphantly lift carts. Heck, you bet you could lift shelves if you had to! Your muscles are like a… strong thing, and it helps you lift heavy items and push loaded carts, maximizing your shopping potential. Sure, you might not have the most speed or best form, but do you need them with a body like this? Secretive Shopper:  Okay, so maybe your form isn’t the best. Maybe you’re just not athletic enough to rule the highly competitive shopping circuits, or strong enough to carry heavier objects, or lanky enough to reach where others cannot. Why does that matter? You’re cunning enough to know, almost instinctively, when the shelves will be stocked once more, when certain items will be on sale, perhaps when to pinch less guarded items off of carts… You’re bad news, and it feels good! 5: Roll 1d100 on the dice rolling website of your choice for the following attributes. As long as you can link to results showing the roll that you received, I’ll be satisfied! I recommend using Orokos for this. Health: How much damage can you take? Will your bones break easily? If, God forbid, you end up fighting a stockboy, how much punishment can you take? Vitality: And how much can you dish out? How fit are you? While shopping is high intensity, it doesn’t always last as long as it should. How long can you go before you need to eat, or rest? Sanity:: How sane are you? Grocery shopping can be stressful, how well can you handle long lines or irate customers? Affluence: How much money do you have on you? This will affect the items you enter with, but low rolls will not prevent you from fully enjoying the Grocery Store! Intelligence: While a low score won’t leave you bouncing aimlessly off shelves, it won’t assist you in identifying some sales or extra nutritional items. It comes in handy! 6: What is your character’s desire to enter the Grocery Store on this particular day? After all, you have supplies of food at home, right? It’s not like you’re going to starve. You don’t need to purchase food that badly, do you? ...Do you? Just saying "The Afternoon" is pretty boring, isn't it? What time of day are you entering the Grocery Store? Some Walmart’s (Grocery Stores!) are open 24 hours now, after all, choose what you think would suit your character best. 7: When are you entering the Grocery Store? A: Early in the morning, before the sun rises! Let’s say 3:00 in the morning. I reaaallllyyyy want to beat the rush. B: Not as early in the morning. 9:00 sounds better, doesn’t it? You won’t be as sleepy, and you’re sure it won’t be that popular or crowded at that time. C: Heck, let’s stick with the afternoon! 12:00 is perfect. You can get in a quick lunch before you go, and know that you will be at your peak to shop until you drop. D: Maybe not quite that early, even. 3:00 in the afternoon sounds nice. You can get some work done and show up a little later. E: 7:00 at night. The sun will be setting, it’ll be nice and quiet… dusk is such a pleasant time of day. Why not spend it wisely? F: 12:00 at night. Sleep is for the weak! G: Write in another option. Maybe you want a specific time, and heck, it might be better! $9.99 is better than $10, maybe 6:59 is better than 7? Thank you for your interest, and I hope you will all have a great day at the Grocery Store!  Have any big questions? I'll try to answer them below! On character creation: You don't need to specifically list an attribute before you roll for it. Feel free to roll five times and assign the values as you see fit - as long as they're five legitimate rolls, they are perfectly fine! Dammerung fucked around with this message at 05:29 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 04:29
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 Sorry, no dragons here (scissor kickable or not), but there is some important information regarding game mechanics! The Grocery Store is just the story of you doing your shopping. The game is pretty simple and selection based, except for one key difference - instead of the results being entirely behind the scenes, you will be rolling to determine the effectiveness of what happens! If I have a little blurb like this next to an option, you roll for it when you select it! An example of how this is intended to play out within the Grocery Store (this isn’t an actual choice) You have decided to purchase some beans. You go to the bean aisle, and… A: Select a can. Roll! B: Walk away from the aisle. C: Scissor-kick the dragon. Roll! A majority choice determined by the time the vote closes will determine the action taken. Let’s say that A gets 4 votes, B gets 2 votes, and C gets no votes. A wins, and the four voters should have rolled alongside their choice, as such in these example posts: “A: Guys, why wouldn’t we purchase some beans? 93.” You will notice that this poster bolded their option choice. This makes it enormously easier for me as I go through and look at posts! They also used a die-rolling system like Orokos to record their roll, and ensure that I knew they weren’t just making up numbers. I would recommend using it, it’s worked fairly well in the past… aside from problems with it occasionally rolling terribly. Is that necessarily a bad thing? How do the dice rolls work? Here is a second example: “Beans make me very happy! A, 2.” This is a much lower roll. Is that a bad thing? Not necessarily! There might be times wherein a course of action might have unexpectedly deleterious results. Maybe there’s a worm in the can of beans your character is reaching out for, or it has a hole or something. Maybe the penalties for not doing well on a roll are preferable to doing well on a roll. Much like life, you can’t know for sure! The Grocery Store never stops surprising its customers. So just be honest with the rolls, it’s okay to mess up sometime! Life, like shopping, is no fun without some risks. Which brings me to my final point: if ever there comes a time in the game wherein voters cannot come to a consensus, or a choice needs to be made but has been gridlocked, I will give it a period of time before I decide which option wins out. I just want to be sure the Grocery Store keeps moving!
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Sep 23, 2015 04:31
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This post is reserved for details of future acquisitions and triumphs over the excellent deals and savings that we are sure to find in the Grocery Store! Our legacy will be a proud one. The current list of shoppers! LowellDND posted:
Jenkem Delivery posted:Zeke "The Tweak" dog kisser posted:Benjamin Francais Roland T. Dapperman posted:HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT hollylolly posted:1. Portland, OR Kyyp posted:1. Hometown: Groceropolis (more like GROSS-er-SNOT-olis! Arkanomen posted:1:Hailing from Arkham Massachusetts, a small little hamlet with not much in the way of stores. RandomPauI posted:1: Oxnard: One of the safest cities in the nation, it's also full of brown people. Oxnard's whiter, richer neighbors natrually blame Oxnard for all of their crime problems. Nyaa posted:
HiHo ChiRho posted:1:What is the name of your hometown? Feel free to add in any identifying details (population size, town history, involvement in countrywide events, etc.), Music Theory posted:1: Hometown: New York, one of the worst places to bicycle commute in. The man's got experience on the battlefield. LivesInGrey posted:New shopper! Dammerung fucked around with this message at 05:45 on Nov 6, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 04:32
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I am expecting this to be a combination of Idiocracy and the Warriors  edit: Also acceptable: Wall-E, the Mist, SCP, Nightvale, and Mad Max      
Loel fucked around with this message at 04:47 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 04:32
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 Secretive Shopper “The woman who lives in between the aisles” health: 1d100 96 vitality: 1d100 39 sanity: 1d100 25 affluence: 1d100 44 intelligence: 1d100 35 Loel fucked around with this message at 05:58 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 04:53
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Zeke "The Tweak"  1- Anniston, Alabama Considered the most dangerous city in Alabama, a toxic chemical laden poo poo hole home to the "World's Largest Chair" - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anniston,_Alabama 2- The United States of America! 3- Height - 6'2, Weight - 180 lbs, Age- 23, Years of Schooling - Dropped out of high school Zeke is a paranoid-delusional meth cook hell bent on getting some "supplies" for his next cook. He has a trailer just outside of town all set up man, he just needs to get a few quick things to go on a multi day meth cooking/consuming binge. Surprisingly smart, resilient, and strong for someone who has been consuming large quantities of methamphetamines for the past 5 years (perhaps it was the exposure to all those horrible chemicals growing up), he is the ring leader of his gang by virtue he is the only one who knows how to create a quality product. Man, if he can just get this batch going this is gonna be a great score... 4- Cart Champion 5- Stats: 5d100 316 health: 96 vitality: 90 sanity: 10 affluence: 36 intelligence: 84 6 - "I need some chemicals and rubber gloves...for uhh cleaning. Oh and a vacuum, man the carpet is dirty. So dirty, why is it always so dirty?!! gently caress man why is it so bright in here?! What the hell are you looking at? You a cop?!" 7- Store time: A- 3:00 AM Pinche Rudo fucked around with this message at 05:48 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 05:43
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Benjamin Francais Hometown: Groceropolis Country of Origin: The Supreme Hegemony of Canada and Associated Territories Name and Description: Benjamin Francais, a fifty-five year old man of quite some refined taste and a considerable (though not excessive) girth. He has chosen to arrive at the Grocery Store today wearing a fine corduroy blazer and sensible slacks. Peering at the groceries through horn-rimmed glasses, he has himself a sensible chuckle at these new gluten-free products. Clearly predatory advertising for the... lesser-educated. No, he'll stick to his gluten-heavy diet, thank you very much. Shopper Style - Shelf Scourer: There is a right way to shop, and a wrong way to shop. Unlike these... children... who squawk and squabble their way through the aisles, pecking at the too-obvious offerings near the front, Benjamin knows the power of the slow walk and the roving eyes. Ah, glory - the last remaining can of sardines, hidden behind other, lesser foods. He doubted anyone else even bothered to look. Health: 71 A healthy layer of smooth pink flesh, just like a delectable peach! Vitality: 67 Abhors violence, of course, but if need be he knows his way around a fist! Sanity: 8 ...The years have not been kind to Mr. Francais. Never terribly stable at the best of times, the uncertainty of recent years have left him in quite a state. Affluence: 44 He makes do, as do we all! Intelligence: 46 Considers himself quite a mind, in any case. Grocery Desire: Desiring to make a simple dinner of veal saffron risotto and vanilla bean Crème brûlée, he is lacking only a few key ingredients: Arborio rice, fresh parmesan, vanilla, and at least two more eggs. Glancing at his wallet, he suspects his desire for the saffron will have to go unabated. On the other hand, who knows what one might find with sharp enough eyes? Bargains abound! When To Enter? B Certainly no need to rush! It could very well be a long day of shopping, after all!
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Sep 23, 2015 05:45
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HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT 1. Dallas 2. AMERICA, where else? 3. 'Big' Mike Johnson is a red blooded American who likes nothing more than getting his buddies together to watch a good ol' game of FOOTBALL (No, not handegg, not rugby, FOOTBALL goddamnit). Watch out, he's got a temper! Big Mike came to the store today wearing his lucky jersey! 4. Powerful Purchaser 5. Rolls: http://orokos.com/roll/328031 Health: 100 UNSTOPPABLE Vitality: 90 Sanity: 41 Affluence: 76 Intelligence: 28 6. It's Mike's turn to host the party for The Big Game! Which means it is Mike's turn to buy snacks! 7. B paper bag with a face fucked around with this message at 05:59 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 05:51
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1. Portland, OR 2. USA 3. Amber Poots  23 yrs old, 5'6", 115lbs, college graduate in liberal arts. She loves long walks on the waterfront, talking about her new favorite indie band that you probably haven't heard of, and doing things in an unnecessarily retro way. She's getting into making pickles! 4. Cart Champion - If you can't be the first to get something, why even bother? 5. Health 63 Vitality 85 Sanity 11 Affluence 88 Intelligence 51 roll 6. Amber is in search of almond milk, pickling spice, more mason jars, and gluten free muffin mix. 7. F hollylolly fucked around with this message at 06:33 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 06:21
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If I vote for Amber does that mean the game turns into Portlandia?
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Sep 23, 2015 06:56
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1. Hometown: Groceropolis (more like GROSS-er-SNOT-olis! 2. Country: The Supreme Hegemony of Canada and Associated Territories (more like, uhh... The Stupid.. huge money... of cans and a soggy tortoise? WHATEVER! Its dumb! You're dumb!) 3. Description: Charlotte "Lottie" Mallory.  12 years old. 7 years of schooling, skipped from 5th to 10th grade. Stopped showing up to class because it was too easy. Picked up some bad habits in high school. She knows she's smarter than almost everyone else, and doesn't mind telling them. Very used to getting her way, because "nobody else is smart enough to get me to do what they want!" Told her parents she was accepted into college in another part of the country. Is instead living at a local amusement park, after she convinced everyone she was the child of the owner. 4: Secretive Shopper 5: Orokos Rolls Here Health: 28 (Shut up! I'm super tough!) Vitality: 74 (What do you mean "slow down"? How are you tired already? Old people are so sloooooooooooooow!) Sanity: 86 (There's no such thing as a thin line between genius and insanity. That's just what people say to make themselves feel better about being dumb or crazy!) Affluence: 2 (I found a quarter, a pack of gum, and someone dropped their keys so I took those. Also, some kid gave had to give me his shiniest and rarest Trading Card because he lost a bet!) Intelligence: 100 (the smartest there ever was! You're dumb, and I'm not! Simple as that, idiot! 6. Reason for Shopping: Amusement Park food is great, but sometimes you just want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or mac and cheese. 7. Arrival Time: G. 9:07 AM. The Amusement Park opens at 9. The morning crowd is annoying, so its better to not be there when the gates open. Edit: 8. Before Entering: On her walk to The Grocery Store, Lottie was stopped by some parents with their children at a school-bus stop, asking why she was headed away from the school when the other kids were waiting for the bus. She claimed her family was on vacation, and showed them the stamp on her hand that the park uses to let people back inside. Lottie had stolen a stamp and ink pad months ago. Kyyp fucked around with this message at 17:46 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 06:59
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1:Hailing from Arkham Massachusetts, a small little hamlet with not much in the way of stores. 2:The Good old US of A. 3: Terry Hornblower, age 22, a late night gas-station attendant working part time to make some pocket change for beer. He studies survival techniques and arcane summoning at the local Miskatonic University with a minor in cosmetolgy. He is 5'4, 120 lbs and has wild blood shot eyes and a marvelous shaved and tattooed head underneath his wizard robes.  4: Oh God what is happening  Secretive Shopper: Okay, so maybe your form isn’t the best. Maybe you’re just not athletic enough to rule the highly competitive shopping circuits, or strong enough to carry heavier objects, or lanky enough to reach where others cannot. Why does that matter? You’re cunning enough to know, almost instinctively, when the shelves will be stocked once more, when certain items will be on sale, perhaps when to pinch less guarded items off of carts… You’re bad news, and it feels good! 5: Health: 72 Vitality: 63 Sanity:: 61 Affluence: 74 Intelligence: 93 6: Hornbowler has been summoned to this spot by ancient prophecy written in the blood of a long dead people on black obsidian and a need for red cups. 7: G: 3:00 AM WHEN THE STARS ARE RIGHT! http://www.pbegames.com/sessions/?data=T63a9ZM260hqZzXwGetlEQ%3D%3D Arkanomen fucked around with this message at 07:07 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 07:05
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RandomPauI posted:If I vote for Amber does that mean the game turns into Portlandia? I think I'm going to try running this with everybody as their own character - the game should, due to its relative simplicity, shouldn't get to an incredible level of work for me. You can vote for her if you'd like, but I'd definitely recommend making your own character!
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Sep 23, 2015 07:05
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1: Oxnard: One of the safest cities in the nation, it's also full of brown people. Oxnard's whiter, richer neighbors natrually blame Oxnard for all of their crime problems. 2: Oxnard is located in lovely Southern California, about 60 miles north of Los Angeles and 60 miles south of Santa Barbara. 3: Frank Hernandez manages an assisted living facility close to the Oxnard Shores. He's a stocky 5'7", and he just had his 34th birthday. He would have had his twelfth anniversary too but his wife passed away in the parking lot at the local Vons and...well, that's why he makes the drive to Winco's now. He's also picked up drinking and smoking again: he doesn't know it yet but his liver is starting to fail. Maybe Frank wants to find something more from his life from the grocery store. Maybe he's trying to make the most out of some lovely dice rolls. The writing is on the wall, things have to change. One of the last gifts Frank got from his wife was a bobblehead of TV's Frank. The two look very similar. Using it as his avatar only feels appropriate.  4: Rounded Rustler: While not the most agile cart pusher, tallest shelf scourer, strongest keg lifter, or craftiest shopping professional, you are, regardless, an experienced shopper. While some people might be able to beat you at those things, you’re still quite well-rounded and know how to get through an ordinary store! 5: http://orokos.com/roll/328046 Health: 14, having a crying baby, a deceased wife, a failing liver, and working around sick geriatrics is taking its toll. Vitality: 15 Sanity:: 44, surprisingly sane so long as benzos or a bit of alcohol are handy. Affluence: It's the day before payday, so 34. Intelligence: 98. 6: Frank needs diapers, vodka, cheese sauce, poptarts, baby formula, and while he's at it he should probably start buying emergency supplies in case an earthquake leaves the household without water or power for a few days. 7: G: 3 am at night for the above last minute necessities. And just to get out of the house. 8: Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y259WQIvBNo 9: Babby stats, for the hell of it Health: 71 Vitality: 69 Sanity:: 44 Affluence: 34 Intelligence: 57 http://orokos.com/roll/328308 RandomPauI fucked around with this message at 03:25 on Sep 24, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 07:54
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All right, the characters are pretty awesome so far! I know this is a pretty new game and all, so I'm going to leave these aspect of the game alone until 9:00 PM Eastern Time (9:00 AM as I type this) so as not to rush anybody still reading through the rules and guidelines. If you have any questions, feel free to post them in the thread, and if not, it's time to get excited! You're going to get some astonishing savings and magnificent deals. ...Which also reminds me, as a final question to get the ball rolling:  How is your character entering the Grocery Store? While "through the front door" is technically a valid response, I intended for this to be an exploration of your character's... err, character, outside of the Grocery Store. How was their trip to the Grocery Store? Did they run into any trouble? If so, how severe, and how did they get past it and to their destination? You don't have to answer this question if you don't want to - I'll just assume that your journey was a pleasant one. Thank you for reading this, and get ready to get your shop on!
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Sep 23, 2015 14:15
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 OHHHHH YEEEEAAAAH! 1) Hastings, Nebraska 2) USA Name: Kool Aid Man Age: Good o' Flavor Height: 6 ft Schooling: Doctoral in Chemistry Personality: Clinically Insane. OHHHHH YEEEEAAAAH! History: Once an infamous flavor chemist who was lay off by Kraft Foods for its distasteful creation. Driven to madness by society, he created the ultimate concoction in one stormy night and drank it. It's the most delicious flavor in the world! He must share it with children! Thus, he drink another special potion that grant him massive strength and fortitude. He burst forth through the wall with his new form, Kool Aid Man, in search for thirsty children who need a good drink because those adult clearly can't appreciates it! OHHHHH YEEEEAAAAH! But first, he need to visit the Grocery Store to restock his ingredients. 4) Powerful Purchaser: OHHHHH YEEEEAAAAH! 5) Health: 31 Vitality: 74 Sanity: 5 Affluence: 23 Intelligence: 56 6) Need more ingredients for my special potion and other flavor drinks to experiment! 7) F. Bust into the store's wall at midnight when all children are asleep. He don't need that distraction while shopping and only adult will get hurt from his onslaught! OHHHHH YEEEEAAAAH! Nyaa fucked around with this message at 16:40 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 16:38
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Dammerung posted:All right, the characters are pretty awesome so far! I know this is a pretty new game and all, so I'm going to leave these aspect of the game alone until 9:00 PM Eastern Time (9:00 AM as I type this) so as not to rush anybody still reading through the rules and guidelines. She lives there. She has always lived there. She is living there now.
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Sep 23, 2015 17:05
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How did you get to the Grocery Store? Of course Amber was riding her bike to the store. It had a basket on the front and she was taking advantage of the good weather to do her part to save the planet from carbon emissions. Sure it was late at night, but she had some pretty lights added to the spokes so she was really quite visible! Of course, this being Portland meant that the good weather only lasted for the first five minutes of her ride, and then it started pouring down rain. Amber arrived soaking wet, but in relatively good spirits. She was going to make pickles in the morning! Maybe she could make some of her own chalkboard paint so she could make reusable labels on the mason jars...
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Sep 23, 2015 18:51
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How are you entering the grocery store? Zeke pulled up in his beat up pick up truck, the bed covered by a yellowed plastic camper cover and grimy windows. He pulled up to the lot and looked around, wary of possible police or security. He cautiously eased his way into a dark parking spot between lamp posts. He stared at the doors to the store intently, grinding his teeth and clenching his jaw like many tweakers do. He smiled, his teeth either darkened and damaged or missing entirely. He eagerly mumbled in an attempt to psych himself up "Just need to go in and grab a couple things for the cook. In and out, no problem hee hee." He opened the door slowly, his wide bloodshot eyes cautiously scanning the near empty lot. Most people were not out picking up various household chemicals at 3 am. In fact, pretty much everyone except tweakers were not out this late. He hopped down onto the asphalt, some empty bottles and wrappers falling out of the cab behind him. He was accompanied by a disgusting odor of sweat, chemicals, and a faint hint of something like cat piss wafting from the cab of the truck. He did one last pat down of his pockets. Some cash, a knife, keys, a and a baggie with a pipe, lighter and "product" in it. You know, in case ol Zeke needed a pick me up on his shopping trip. He made his way towards the carts, trying to put on a smile to look normal but failing miserably and instead merely looking like a crazed tweaker. He grabbed a cart and headed towards the doors, "Heh, no loving cops tonight. Gonna be easy just in and out."
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Sep 23, 2015 23:22
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How are you entering the grocery store? Hornblower bowed his head. The tablet began to sing underneath the stars as the light filtered through the stone cairns hastily arraigned behind the gas station. The stars were right, as foretold in the ancient script. Hornblower read aloud from his overpriced textbook, written by the Nameless Thing that teaches Eldritch Conjuration 304. As inscrutable as that professor was, it was obvious the motive for requiring his own $299 text. The chant took physical form, strange glowing runes floating about the ritual circle before forming into an address. The magic told young Hornblower to visit the new store in town. How fortuitous, as he needed to purchase Red Cups for the party that weekend at the Zalgo-Zalgo-Zalgo house. Hornblower doused the candles, retrieved the slab and mounted his trusty enchanted Vespa. (Inscribed with ancient Mesopotamian sigils to prevent it from turning back into the broken piece of poo poo he bought it as) With a quick kick at the starter and hastily texted "Brb Grandma Dying" to his coworker, Hornblower was off, taking the empty interstate 666 to the brand new shopping center located across from the convention center. It had practically popped up overnight and at even such a late hour the parking lot was packed. Hornblower parked his scooter in the motorcycle parking, took his helmet with him and entered the front doors. Nothing could prepare him for what came next.
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Sep 23, 2015 23:54
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How did you get to the grocery store Frank left for the grocery store tired and beaten. If he wanted to finish the night successfully he'd need need some food and some caffeine. And he'd need to take the baby with him on account of child endangerment laws. The trip to McDonald's was uneventful at first glance. But that was before Frank took a sip of his McCafe Large Hot Chocolate. McDonalds somehow found a way to make a warm, sweet reminder of childhood into a bitter reminder of his crappy adulthood. This definitely wasn't hot chocolate or a mocha. Did they mix his hot chocolate with week old coffee? They also messed up his french fries, serving them cold and greasy. Revenge in the form of a bad yelp review would have to wait. Now he needed to add hot chocolate mix to his shopping list, and a baseball bat. Because maybe the baby would want to play baseball when he grew up, and they probably sold baseball bats for cheap here right? He drove the car the 150 feet from the McDonalds to the grocery store parking lot. It was time for him and his baby to go shopping... (Is this an appropriate level of insanity for someone who is sanity 44?)
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Sep 24, 2015 00:33
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Hey all! it is 9:00 PM, and as such, I am going to start on the update! Thank you to all of those who wrote little blurbs about their characters, I'll definitely incorporate those, and no worries to those that didn't! The fun's starting soon enough.
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Sep 24, 2015 02:00
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And so the day of reckoning has finally arrived. On this day, at varying times, in varying locations, the Grocery Store has opened for business. The shoppers all arrive at their stores, right at their specified hours. What should they expect? An ordinary store? A house of secrets and misfortunes?!?! A store. They should expect a store. Zeke  Zeke’s Grocery Store is located near a wonderful, sparsely foliated area of land, the shrubs and astonishing night sky failing to impress in the face of the Grocery Store’s majesty. He exited his truck, grabbed his cart, and was immediately halted in his advance by the throngs of people waiting to enter the store. The parking lot extends for what seems to be miles around them, a gray ocean containing the relatively large numbers of people. Zeke smiles nervously, looking around the crowd for the inevitable officers of the law that would have to be present. drat, why are they all out so early? Zeke fidgets, his hands tightening their grip on the cart… but there is nothing to worry about. Distracted as they are, the crowds fail to notice him. The Secretive Shopper  She’s been there. No, not in the Grocery Store, persay. She’s been around in the town for almost as long as it has existed. Children often tell stories of her, of her death at the hands of her husband, and used to dare one another to enter the store that used to stand here, shrieking and laughing as the adrenaline coursed through their body at the inevitable rustling of the storefront. Adults would sometimes talk as well - never in such serious terms - but they would wonder about the woman themselves. Who was she, and why had she died so mysteriously? The town had not grown up around her, but she had seemed to grow with the town, her strange footnote in history becoming ever more puzzling as time went on. On this day, nobody seemed to think much of her. They crowded outside the Grocery Store, talking eagerly amongst themselves as the doors remained tantalizingly closed. Nobody noticed the strange figure that appeared amongst them, long fingers patiently tapping the edge of the cart she gripped on to. She would escape notice in such a large crowd. The Grocery Store was quite an accommodating place, after all. Benjamin Francais  He adjusted his blazer and stood proud and tall, a basket clutched in his hand. His impressively lanky frame, ordinarily the subject of whispers wherever he went in Groceropolis, was ignored for the time being as shoppers crammed themselves by the door as the sun continued to rise, eagerly awaiting the start of shopping. Groceropolis was a strange place indeed - the Grocery Store stood in a tremendous area of its own, the parking lot stretching like a gray ocean for what seemed like miles around it, almost every inch packed with willing shoppers and their vehicles. It really was nothing too out of the ordinary - the majority of businesses and business owners focused around grocery related products. Competition was astonishingly fierce, and it took a lot to get the discerning and frugal Canadian residents to look at a store. The tremendous crowds in front of the Grocery Store, then, were what was truly astonishing. Benjamin couldn’t remember a time in his life when there had been crowds like this waiting for a new store to open. He cooly scanned the crowd from behind his glasses. He’d find what they missed. He always had. Charlotte “Lottie” Mallory She was a genius! Her smaller size allowed her to more easily reach the front of the crowd, and she stood, eagerly waiting for the doors to open. While she might never admit it, she was excited - the Grocery Store had been quite a conversation topic in the amusement park for weeks, and she was here, and not in school! Ha! This was all so very exciting. Mike Johnson  “Watch it, partner!” Mike pushed his way through the crowd, his cart easily plowing a path through the packs in front of the Grocery Store’s entrance. The sun was rising above Dallas, and would soon become unpleasant. Mike didn’t want to be stuck in the Grocery Store that happened - dammit, he had some important business to attend to! Why weren’t these doors open? He took a second to look around the Grocery Store, at the titanically large parking lot that was already chock full of cars and shoppers. “Just what I need,” he snorted, impatiently waiting for the doors to open. Amber Poots  Portland, Oregon. A bastion of less… traditional thought, the opening of the Grocery Store had sent her alma mater into a frenzy. Still, deals were deals, and as she approached, locking her bike in the bike rack an… astonishing distance away, come to think of it. She looked around, at the enormous gray ocean of a parking lot, the shoppers and cars already starting to pack into it. When had it gotten so… big? It didn’t seem as large when she looked at the plans online. Well, no matter! Time waited for no pickles. She swooped into line, nabbed a cart, and darted close to the front of the pack before anybody had really noticed. Now, to do what she liked least. Wait. Frank Hernandez  Frank stepped out of his car, the rather unappealing food traded for his son. The Grocery Store stood, looming over the skyline - the drive over had been shorter than he had expected, and the parking lot stretched like a gray ocean for what seemed like miles around him. Thankfully, the sight of the Golden Arches, tiny and pitiful in the face of the Grocery Store were still visible, glowing almost as brightly as the full moon. Such a lovely night. Frank stood, cradling his son as the night wore on. Many people had gathered for the opening of the Grocery Store, but they were further ahead, almost jamming themselves into the doors in anticipation. Frank’s brow wrinkled. What on earth could be so interesting about the Grocery Store? The Kool-Aid Man  OH YEAH! Three seconds to impact. The Kool-Aid man charged down the street, his bizarre visage somehow not terrifying the shoppers clustered around the Grocery Store. They all seemed too preoccupied with gazing at the store, and so the Kool-Aid man continued to run across the gray ocean that was the parking lot, the full moon reflecting off of his glassy exterior as he continued, a strange liquid sloshing around within him. Two seconds to impact. The crowds began to part around him - lazily, as if they were merely reacting to a ho-hum instinct - and he was through. He continued to run forward, thinking eagerly about what he could get at the Grocery Store. Oh, it would be wonderful! He’d have more than enough for all the children! He was almost there now. “OH-” One second to impact. Terry Hornblower  Arkham, Massachusetts. Hornblower’s path within the store was stopped abruptly by the masses of people in front of him. He muttered suspiciously, gazing around himself. Of course… it had to be another sign. He looked up at the full moon as it shone brightly overhead, illuminating the gray ocean of a parking lot that the Grocery Store possessed. Opening here, now, in such a location… yes, this could only mean the end times. And as he stood in the parking lot, he thought he noticed something - there! Maybe? It wasn’t a tangible, physical kind of thing, but he saw it all the same. Or did he? (Please roll 1d100.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And as all the Shoppers wait in their respective crowds which respectively fill the parking lots outside of the Grocery Store, a monumental event suddenly happens. The air seems to get heavier, as, with a quiet, almost imperceptible electrical hum that nonetheless quiets the crowds, the door opens. A young, fairly attractive woman steps out of the Grocery Store. Her raven black hair is kept neatly behind her head in a short ponytail, her red polo and grey slacks are immaculate, and she steps to the left of the doors, standing about a foot in front of the Grocery Store itself, but well out of the way of the doors. The crowds are silent until she waves, and as one, they come alive. Screaming and hollering their anticipation, the crowd begins to pulsate - not quite moving forward, as the doors are still closed, but showing their willingness to… The doors open again. A young, fairly attractive man steps out of the Grocery Store, his hair also raven black, his red polo and grey slacks are immaculate, and he steps to the right of the doors, standing about a foot in front of the Grocery Store itself, but well out of the way of the doors.Whereas the woman wouldn’t stand out too much in a crowd, the man is tall - Benjamin notes that the man is taller than he is, and while Mike would never admit it, the man definitely seemed more muscular than even he was. He waved as well, the crowd beginning to warm up again as the woman waved again, and then, smiling in tandem, they both held out their hands, palms up. The crowds at this point have just about lost their minds. The screams have turned to what seem to be shrieks, Zeke suddenly fitting in much better as the hysterics continue. The only Grocery Store that slightly deviates from this pattern is in Nebraska - as the doors open, a strange looking figure bounds through them, his “OH YEAH!” fading into the night. Seconds after he does so... The doors begin to open, and the crowds roar as a single body and CHARGE toward them, the shoppers charging forward as well. Only Charlotte pauses for a second, her smaller size allowing her to see another child (what was he doing out of school, she wondered) in the crowd, running forward, holding onto his mother’s hand… ...until he slipped. He tried to rise, but fell again as feet slammed against his back, shoppers heedlessly racing forward to enter the Grocery Store. Kyyp, you have a choice! You can try to save the child you saw (roll 1d100), or just enter the Grocery Store. Charlotte can’t be sure of what she saw, right? She’s at that age wherein a child’s imagination just runs wild! If you choose not to act on what you might have saw, please read the rest of the update before rolling accordingly. Arkanomen, please roll the 1d100 before entering the Grocery Store - once you do so, Hornblower will also be at this point in the game!  You have never seen anything like it. Aisles! Aisles upon aisles upon aisles! The crowds, once so colossal and formidable, have charged into the distance, seeking aisles far beyond you. 1: What would you like to do now? A-F: Shop, you idiot! What do you think I’m here for? I specifically head for… A: Aisle one. B: Aisle two. C: Aisle three. D: Aisle four. E: Aisle five. F: Another aisle? Pick a number, any number - hopefully you won’t miss any items in the scramble! (If picking one of these options, be sure to roll 1d100 and name the items that you’re looking for! I know you had lists and ideas, but how much of that lasts once you start shopping, anyway?) G: This is pretty overwhelming. I’m going to try to get more information first. (If picking this option, note what you are going to do specifically and roll 1d100.) ------------------------------------------------------------- (Well, that was fun to write! I hope you are all enjoying it so far. If you have any questions, or noticed anything I missed, please feel to let me know! Happy shopping!!)
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Sep 24, 2015 03:06
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G: I'm going to try to find a circular with coupons on it. It will also probably have some info about the store. Maybe even a map, or attempts to sell products in a witty fashion like they do at Trader Joes. 80 http://orokos.com/roll/328307
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Sep 24, 2015 03:15
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Charlotte "Lottie" Mallory 1d100: 35 Lottie was kind of a jerk. She knew this about herself, but didn't care enough to change. She was not, however, enough of a jerk to run past another kid being trampled. "Hey, look!" Lottie yelled to the rushing crowd. "Theres another door open over there!" She pointed to what was clearly a window, but was in a direction away from where she saw the kid fall. Kyyp fucked around with this message at 03:43 on Sep 24, 2015 |
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Sep 24, 2015 03:37
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Amber Poots A Aisle ONE: 1d100 16 Amber heads straight for the first aisle, her (soggy) list clutched in her hand. The stationary has hand drawn birds on it, and she's looking for pickling spices and more mason jars. I mean, of course she has mason jars at home, but she did the thing from Pintrest where you color the inside of them with ink and glue and so they're no good for pickles. Well, and she has mason jars she's using for drinking glasses, and the ones she turned into solar lights for the sustainable and organic garden that used to be her front yard. So you see, she obviously needs more. Anyway, any good shopper knows you head for the first aisle and take them one by one until you've found everything on your list. LIST (bird doodle in margin) pickling spices Mason jars Lids almond milk ...the rest of the list is unintelligible due to water damage hollylolly fucked around with this message at 03:40 on Sep 24, 2015 |
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Sep 24, 2015 03:37
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3: Terry Hornblower 5: Health: 72 Vitality: 63 Sanity:: 61 Affluence: 74 Intelligence: 93 The powers of the place whispered to Hornblower, this store was something more, something...beyond. Hornblower focused on the invisible but was drowned by the many hundreds of psychic presences. Greed, Gluttony and Desire ran rampant as the many shoppers clamored and wailed for deals and bargains and product! Hamburger, USDA Prime, 85% Lean for only $2.99! Elder Thing Pasta by the ton for pennies on the dollar! It was a mad house and it was all too much for the young shopper. The voice of the Store muddied and darted away, teasing him with whispers of what lay before him. Mystery Roll: 1d100 11 No time to get lost in the mysteries. Hornblower made a note to find some occult resources inside before proceeding to his destiny and the aisle containing the much needed Red-Cups. He opened his personal grimoire and consulted his research on the prophesied store. The future crayfish people from two ages past the dominion man spoke of the Store on inscribed metal tablets that were cast backwards through the cataclysm that doomed their people. The ravings of the Mad Pincher told of a mysterious guardian at the gates of the Grocery. A strange withered being, speculated to be undying that would Greet those who entered inside. It was said that to not consult this being before entering the infinite depths of the Store was to invite doom. Thus Hornblower ceased his entrance and looked for this "Greeter" and intended to entreat the entity to reveal the location of occult section where Hornblower could stock up on valuable reagents and tools could be found on his quest. Hornblower knew he shouldn't seek his prize unprepared, also he remembered he needed to pick up on a few things for his lab next week. F. Find a Greeter: 1d100 69  Arkanomen fucked around with this message at 03:58 on Sep 24, 2015 |
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Sep 24, 2015 03:52
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dog kisser posted:Benjamin Francais 1.A As the crowds rush in around him, Benjamin fairly vibrates with excitement... and discomfort. All these... bodies. So close to him. He brushes back his hair, straightens his glasses. No need to join the crush - he could see over them, in any case. He walked calmly (far more calmly than he felt) to the first aisle. The aisle system here was... unfamiliar. Not part of his routine, not by a long shot. He almost panicked, grabbed at a dented can of corn... but, no, he would keep his wits about him. Mystery Roll: 29 ...on second thought, maybe he would need that corn? He was confused, stressed out by the noise. He bit his lip and looked up and down the aisles.
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Sep 24, 2015 04:08
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1:What is the name of your hometown? Feel free to add in any identifying details (population size, town history, involvement in countrywide events, etc.), LA Metro Area 2: What country does this take place in? Due to my personal linguistic failings, the language will be English, but don’t worry too much about all the other details. You have bigger fish to fry! Or purchase. Merica! 3: Name your character, select their age, height, years of schooling, personality, write out some history… Go nuts with it! Make them the kind of person you’d want to be/like to see shopping!  BennyTheSnake - 23 years old, 5'8, BA in English, struggling writer and avid comic and film aficionado - at least until my mom threw out all my belongings for looking at "unclean things". 4: Pick the phrase that best describes your character’s attributes as a shopper. Cart Champion: 5: Roll 1d100 on the dice rolling website of your choice for the following attributes. As long as you can link to results showing the roll that you received, I’ll be satisfied! I recommend using Orokos for this. Health: Health: 1d100 68 Vitality: Vitality: 1d100 26 Sanity:: Sanity: 1d100 33 Affluence: Money: 1d100 93 Intelligence: Intelligence: 1d100 47 6: What is your character’s desire to enter the Grocery Store on this particular day? After all, you have supplies of food at home, right? It’s not like you’re going to starve. You don’t need to purchase food that badly, do you? I'm looking for a job at this establishment. Here is my resume with preemptive thank you notes. 7: When are you entering the Grocery Store? B: Not as early in the morning. 9:00 sounds better, doesn’t it? You won’t be as sleepy, and you’re sure it won’t be that popular or crowded at that time. 1: What would you like to do now? I'd like to speak to the manager about being a cart pusher, please: 1d100 34 HiHo ChiRho fucked around with this message at 04:28 on Sep 24, 2015 |
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Sep 24, 2015 04:23
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1: Hometown: New York, one of the worst places to bicycle commute in. The man's got experience on the battlefield. 2: Country: Whichever one new york is in 3: Name: Sheldon Brown, the greatest cyclist of all. All bicycle owners defer to his judgement! His name is enough to end any argument on two wheels! He never needed training wheels, not even when he was a beginner! 4: Cart Champion: A man with a bike and a poo poo ton of baskets and panniers attached to it. Who will stand up to him and his 33 gears? 5: Rolls Health: 27. Sheldon's getting old! Vitality: 80. Cycling is good for you! Sanity:: 2. BICYCLES Affluence: 13. Sheldon tends to spend most of his money on cycling related things. Intelligence: 48. Sheldon has perfect knowledge of all human-powered vehicles, but not much else. 6: Sheldon requires supplies for the Great Bicycle Tour of Europe and the Surrounding Areas! 7: A: Early in the morning, before the sun rises! Let’s say 3:00 in the morning. I reaaallllyyyy want to beat the rush. Action: G: WHERE ARE THE BIKES (29) Music Theory fucked around with this message at 04:53 on Sep 24, 2015 |
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Sep 24, 2015 04:48
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Frank took a moment to pause and think before he tried to find a flier or a circular. They were usually at the main entrance by the front, past the shopping carts, next to the sanitary wipes and grocery baskets. And they were usually to the left. But Frank was transfixed on his right. There was a change machine, a lotto machine, several of those rigged amusement park grabber games, other machines of indiscernible purpose, and in the distance a sign for Customer Service, hard liquors, more lotto, and money wiring. Yes, Frank knew he could count on this store. If this were like most stores produce would be towards either the left or right sides of The Grocery Store. The bakery and any warm foodstuffs would be on the opposite side. To the back, the dairy and meat sections. This would be familiar turf. Frank could count on liquor being towards the front, or one of the first aisles, immediately followed by a certain number of frozen food aisles. Frank began to smile, but the smile quickly left his face when he tried to scan the aisles. They weren't arranged vertically, they were arranged horizontally. He didn't know the secrets of the horizontal lay-out. That's when Frank turned to the left in the hopes of finding what he was most immediately looking for...
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Sep 24, 2015 05:07
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Big Mike 1. G GOTTA FIND THE DELI! Roll: 91 Mike ran through the list of things that would be acceptable snacks for The Big Game. Beers, oh you know it! Chips and dip, a given. Oh man, what about a sub platter? Big Mike began to push his way around the edges of the store, looking for the deli. Hopefully he would be able to find it before they ran out of subs! Lord knows that Mike wasn't the only person getting ready for The Big Game!
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Sep 24, 2015 05:24
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Zeke Zeke started shaking and sweating at the sight of the huge crowd lined up at 3 am. What the gently caress were they doing out here at this time? What was all this poo poo? He just needed a few chemicals to get his cook on, and now he was dealing with this poo poo. His mind wandered to the baggie full of drug paraphernalia in his pocket. Maybe sneak into the bathroom for a hit or two to set him right? He snapped up when the two people raised their arms and the door opened for the rush. Zeke decided to try and blend in with the crowd as he pushed through to find the section with household cleaners. Hmmm, it was usually towards the end. He zipped his cart around and scooted towards Aisle 4, grinding his teeth as he nervously navigated the store. A sheen of sweat now covered his scabbed face as he frantically moved towards his end goal, his mind racing with a staggering array of thoughts ranging from getting high to getting caught to making a huge loving cook and striking it rich. 1) D Aisle check: 1d100 7 Don't really want to be googling the chemicals for making meth so lets just say there are 4 Chemicals needed and call them Chemical 1, Chemical 2 etc Pinche Rudo fucked around with this message at 06:04 on Sep 24, 2015 |
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Sep 24, 2015 06:00
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Hello shoppers! So we have had quite a few people roll and select their actions, which is wonderful! I want to give other posters some more time to decide and commit to what they're going to do at the Grocery Store. I'm planning on closing voting at midnight tonight, if anyone who has not acted yet could do so, that would be wonderful! Again, thank you all for playing, and I can't wait to move things along!
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Sep 25, 2015 21:40
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Frank had almost finished turning to his left when he heard a crash from the parking lot. A Porche SUV with a Segway strapped to the back collided with someone riding their fully loaded Rascal out of the store and towards their 1999 Dodge Caravan. "Only in Oxnard." Frank didn't have time to be a witness. He began turning to the left again, his heart beating with anticipation.
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Sep 25, 2015 22:56
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Kool Aid Man G. Smell for chemical :34 OH YEAH! Detergent section have all these strong chemical smell! You can find them with you eyes close and just run down the aisles until your nose pick up that strong alkylbenzenesulfonates!
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Sep 26, 2015 00:35
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F. Looking for the manager's office. For reasons. I travel within and atop the aisles, and none can see me. Manager office: 1d100 67
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Sep 26, 2015 08:45
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"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out." (1 Timothy 6:6-7, KJV) Frank Hernandez While the commotion from the now furious Rascal driver outside was intriguing, Frank was not drawn to it. He was looking for a flier, or some other way to beat the already low deals the Grocery Store was offering - he had no time to get involved in parking lot politics! He began to turn to the left, visually scanning the Grocery Store as he did so. Money wiring, no, crane games, no, change converter, no... he scanned the aisles. It didn't seem to make a lot of sense, but the shoppers streaming into them from outside quite effectively demonstrated their popularity! He continued to turn, looking at the aisles, at the crowds, at the employee holding out something and standing in front of him, at the- -Frank turned back to the right. "Hi, I'm Harry, and welcome to the Grocery Store!", the employee said. Frank looked up a bit more than he was used to, and saw that it was the man that had helped welcome everyone into the Grocery Store. "I think I know what you're looking for, and I must say, it's a very smart thing to do!" Harry said, giving Frank a sheet of paper. "I hope you and the little man have a great time shopping!" And with that, Harry disappeared among the crowd of shoppers. Frank looked over the paper. Was it a flier, a coupon, a...?  Well, that wasn't helpful. Or was it? Frank's affluence has increased from 34 to 37! 1: What will you do now? A: Start shopping! Pick an aisle number and get to the meat and potatoes. Roll 1d100 B: What sort of flier is this?! Find Harry and demand answers! Roll 1d100 C: Charlotte "Lottie" Mallory Charlotte's eyes snapped open as she saw the boy disappear under the crowd. "Hey, look, there's another door open over there!" she yelled, and sure enough, some shoppers did turn away from the rest of the crowd, but far more continued to stream forward, their lust for savings and excellent prices blinding them to the plight of the boy. Charlotte herself was getting bumped in the onrush of shoppers, the jostling threatening to knock her off her feet. She stretched out her arms, trying not to fall over, and felt somebody grab her hand and lead her into the Grocery Store. "All right, come on, it'll be okay, it'll be okay." Charlotte opened her eyes, and found herself within the greeting area of the Grocery Store. A rather tall employee was helping the boy she had seen earlier, who was mercifully just bruised and shaking. The female employee who had welcomed them in ran over, her concern evident in her widening eyes. "Christ, he could have been killed! Did you see his mother?" The male employee turned to her. "Are you kidding? In that crowd? We're lucky I saw them in that mob." Shoppers continued to filter past the four of you, barely taking notice. "All right, Harry." says the female employee, "I'll get him taken care of." She smiles and holds out her hand to the boy, who takes it rather nervously, and walks both of them through an inconspicuous door to the side. Charlotte turns back to Harry, who smiles at her. "Are you all right? Are you parents in the gr... Grocery Store? Would you like me to help you find them?" 1: What would you like Harry to do for you? A: Refuse his help. There's shopping to be done. Choose an aisle and get started! 1d100 B: You could have been killed! Cry. Just cry. C: You could have been killed! Argue your way into getting something from him as compensation. Roll 1d100 D: Amber Poots Folding the soggy list back into her pocket, Amber's eyes narrow behind her glasses. In the outside world, she might not be the most noticeable person, but in the Grocery Store, her speed with a cart makes her a truly deadly shopper! ...Err, effective shopper. She speeds ahead of the crowds, and is the first shopper to reach the aisle! (If you find an item you'd like in this aisle, you will gain bonuses! No, really, I have a spreadsheet I swear But what is actually in the aisle? Sparks fly up from the grocery cart as Amber wheels her way to the start of the aisle, and looks up to read the sign...  Something about it looked kind of strange (how did they organize items in the Grocery Store...?), but Amber doesn't have time to think about it. She's off like a shot! 1: What will you do now? A: Name an item you're looking for in this aisle and see what you find! Subsequent rolls, especially if they're higher, might turn up better products, but you do have other shoppers to contend with... Roll 1d100 B: Nah, for whatever incomprehensible reason, I am going to leave this aisle and do something else. (List your specific action, roll 1d100 C: Terry Hornblower Spot check: 25 required, rolled 11. Unsuccessful! Terry looks to the side, his attention suddenly drawn to a slightly taller gentleman... Who's tall. The man sees Terry looking, smiles, and waves before entering the Grocery Store. Possibly not one of Terry's finer moments, but he knows there is more afoot within the Grocery Store, and vows to himself to uncover all of its mysteries. He steps into the store to look for a greeter... and finds one immediately. They greet people. It's what they do. It'd be kind of weird if they were hidden away or anything, come to think of it. Still, the ease with which Terry discovered a greeter fills him with confidence! Terry's sanity has increased to 63! 1: What do you want to do now? A: Ask the greeter about occult items. Roll 1d100 B: Punch the greeter! It is one of his spies(?!?). Roll 1d100 C: Start shopping! Pick an aisle number. Roll 1d100 D: Benjamin Francais Benjamin collects... canned corn. Cool! Wait. There's no corn in this aisle. What in the world did Benjamin just pick up...? He looks down again, sweat beading on his forehead, to reveal that he has collected Bargain slivered almonds. Oh no. Benjamin's sanity decreases by one, his affluence decreases by 1, his health increases by 1, and his vitality increases by 1. That was quite a bit to type out! 1: What do you want to do now? A: Return the B: Keep them, and continue shopping in this aisle. (Name an item you're looking for and roll 1d100!) C: Keep them, and go to another aisle. (Specify the aisle and roll 1d100!) D: BennyTheSnake I didn't read the original thread, Dammerung thinks to himself, So I am going to randomly assign character traits to Benny and hope that nobody notices. "Yes," Dammerung says aloud, "I am the change I want to see in the world." Nobody is impressed. Benny's collection of rare soils and mulches had been thrown out by his mother?! The indignity of it all filled Benny's heart with fire, his eyes with tears, and his shoes with feet as he walked to the Grocery Store in honestly pleasant weather. He barely noticed the crowds outside, so full of fire was his... please pretend this sentence waxes poetic with regards to his heroic stride and other capabilities that are regarded as positive among popular culture. Thank you! Benny strode up to the first greeter he saw, and didn't even wait for an introduction. "I'm looking for a job at this establishment. Here is my resume with thank you notes." He holds out the documents, and not noticing that the greeter hasn't held out his respectively, drops them on the floor. The greeter's smile widens ever so slightly. "Certainly - I'll take you to him, but you're going to have to pick those up first." He looks at the papers on the ground. "The Grocery Store has a strict policy against littering." 1: What do you do? A: Pick up everything and go with the greeter to see the manager. (Roll 1d100) B: Refuse to pick things up and ask to see the manager anyway. You don't have time for this! You're Internet famous! (I think.) (Roll 1d100) C: Sheldon Brown Ah, NYC! Sheldon loved it. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the people, the exhilarating rush of almost getting creamed by yet another taxi driver. He wouldn't trade it for the world. He would, however, briefly leave it for some excellent deals, and as he safely locked his bike up at a bike rack within walking distance of the Grocery Store, he was sure that anybody would have done the same. In fact... He looked at his bike again, and then again at the store. He had an idea. "WHERE ARE THE BIKES," Sheldon roared as he burst into the store on his 33 gear bike, almost succeeding in temporarily scattering the shoppers. Two greeters immediately ran to him, the shorter of the two crying out in protest. "Sir, you CANNOT ride bikes in the Grocery Store! It's strictly forbidden!" 1: What do you do? A: Comply with their policy and lock up your bike safely outside. B: Screw them, you have but one God and that God is BIKES! Pedal around the store looking for your items. (Roll 2d100) C: Big Mike It was deli time! Mike immediately began to head around the edges of the store, looking for the deli. An incredibly smart move, as none of the crowd had broken away to look for it as of yet, making him the first shopper to reach the deli! (You're totally going to get bonuses!) The man who had welcomed the crowds outside the store had somehow beaten him to the deli. "Our first customer!" He smiled brilliantly and clasped his hands. "Would you like to try some samples, or do you just want to order?" To his side, Mike saw a platter loaded with small sandwiches of various types. 1: Wanna try one? A: Yes, the Roast Beef Champion! (+2 Vitality) B: Yes, the Avocado and bean dip legend! (+2 Intelligence) C: Yes, the Jalapeno chicken nightmare! (-1 Intelligence, +2 Health, +1 Vitality) D: Yes, the Salami and cheese delight! (+2 Health) E: Yes, the D#li*o f^la@gt! (-3 sanity, +2 Vitality, +1 Health, +2 Intelligence) F: Yes, multiple! (Roll 1d100 and specify how many you want to eat - the number over 1 multiplied by 10 is the number you need to beat. (Say you want to eat the Roast Beef Champion and the Avocado and bean dip legend - you'd just have to roll to beat a 10. 2-1 = 1, x 10 = 10! If you're trying to eat all of them, please instead go to G.) G: Yes, ALL OF THEM! (Roll 1d100, beat 80. If you manage to roll higher than an 80, something special might happen!) H: Do you have anything else? I: No, I'd just like to order. (Roll 1d100 and specify your order.) J: Continue shopping. (Pick an aisle and roll 1d100!) K: Zeke Zeke's nerves frayed slightly as he moved with the masses of people... then broke away from them, as he went straight to aisle 4. The lack of people heading there, coupled with the speed granted to Zeke by means of his descent into utter panic, allowed him to be the first shopper in aisle 4! (Bonuses for any items you purchase there!) But what would there be? He looked up...  drat, it didn't look too helpful. 1: What would you like to do? A: Go into it anyway. You never know! (Roll 1d100, and specify what you're going to try to look for.) B: Move onto another aisle. (Roll 1d100, and specify an aisle) C: Kool Aid Man The Kool Aid Man continued to run, his powerful form shaking the Grocery Storeas he did so. He closed his eyes as he advanced, and thought he smelled it... in the distance, probably more toward the back of the store. His pace was exceptional, but even so, it would take him a little while to reach it. 1: What would you like to do? A: OH YEAH! Advance invincibly, and try to run faster! (Roll 1d100) B: Maybe there's something else that you'd like to look for? (Specify and roll 1d100) C: You think you might have seen (but can't be sure) people start to chase after you. Try to lose them by ducking into an aisle at random! (Roll 1d100) D: The Secretive Shopper As the shoppers began to crowd into the Grocery Store, one of them began to move not with the masses, but... beyond them. The secretive shopper began to move as she had for years, her form frankly slithering amongst the shoppers as they moved forward, remaining undetected as she advanced. A nimble... well, thought, and she was moving through one of the aisles itself, taking a small amount of care not to send almonds or cooking oils flying as she did so. From her vantage point, she looked out, and saw that the manager's office was a fair ways away from the doors, although not quite as far as she would have expected. It wouldn't take much - with but a thought, she could reach it. 1: What do you want to do? A: Spread chaos throughout the Grocery Store. B: Make a beeline for the Manager's office. C: Eh. Start shopping! (Roll 1d100, specify an aisle!) D: 2: If you chose option A for question 1, how do you want to spread Chaos? (Roll 1d100 for any of the choices you pick!) A: Collapse the aisle you're on, sending cooking oil everywhere! Haha, they will be as french toast on the pan! B: Make loud ghost noises and hope that people get scared. C: Throw foodstuffs at random shoppers. Assign yourself points based on how well you hit people. Feel a little upset when they don't have any tangible benefit. D: Make a speech! (About what? Have fun writing it out, I'll let you know how it goes over!) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I think that is just about everyone! If I missed something, or if you have any questions (in or out of character), feel free to let me know. And as always, happy shopping!
Dammerung fucked around with this message at 06:57 on Sep 27, 2015 |
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Sep 26, 2015 19:09
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Terry Hornblower Stats: Health: 72 Vitality: 63 Sanity:: 63 Affluence: 74 Intelligence: 93 Inventory -Backpack -Vespa Keys -Ritual Dagger -Chalice -Grimore -Black Prophecy Stone Cart -nothing- A. Inquire about the location of the Blood,Blades and Beyond occult aisle is: 1d100 95 !! The greeter welcomed Hornblower in both mortal guide and mortal tongue. How odd, it must be an auspicious day for a Greeter to appear so plainly. This store is truly remarkable. The voice still lingered at the back of Hornblower's mind. The Greeter even seemed to know Hornblower's name. So curious. It didn't matter as Hornblower only had the most basic of charms to protect himself at the moment so he needed to get to the occult aisle as fast as possible. He asked be greeter its location and the most expedient manner to arrive there. Hornblower hoped his genial attitude impressed the Greeter enough to allow him passage through the "Secret Ways". The aisles that exist parallel to those on in his own store, tucked away but tantalizingly close and even accessible to those "in between". Terry was reminded to not forget his cart, which he quickly retrieved from the greeter instead of braving the crowd for another. Soon all will be laid bare and the cups for the
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Sep 26, 2015 20:03
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Dammerung posted:BennyTheSnake http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3531379
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Sep 26, 2015 20:32
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