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smoobles
Sep 4, 2014

?

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big black turnout
Jan 13, 2009



Fallen Rib
0

Shadow
Jun 25, 2002
im sure he'll call sweetie

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
2

smoobles
Sep 4, 2014


my thoughts exactly, but only if you smooch on the first date (otherwise you're jumping the gun..)

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
whatever if you feel it you feel it

numbers are so arbitrary. just gently caress if you want to.

Cake Smashing Boob
Nov 5, 2008

I support black genocide
ask her/him first tho

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

this reminds me of a kevin body wilson songe, do you gently caress on first date, does your father own a brewery can i touch your breasts or will you give me a look something like that

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

it's never appropriate, OP

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

if the answer... to the questions above is no... can you give me the name of a girlfriend who does, something like that i think

Hackers film 1995
Nov 4, 2009

Hack the planet!

i dont date. im an asexual op, but if i had to guess i would say 35

toiletbrush
May 17, 2010
I prefer to gently caress girls before the date, to find out if its worth going or not.

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

if you don't gently caress after the first date why bother with a second

www
Aug 4, 2010

one you slut

spank my snatch
Jun 4, 2009

.5

Zeroisanumber
Oct 23, 2010

Nap Ghost
Three-ish, but you can go faster if you like the person enough.

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012


banging in the bathroom on the first date is always nice

Android Apocalypse
Apr 28, 2009

The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE

Illegal Hen

Blue Train posted:

banging in the bathroom on the first date is always nice

:agreed:

damn horror queefs
Oct 14, 2005

say hello
say hello to the man in the elevator
All sex is rape hth

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
What am I some kind of mathematical genius here? :shrug:

ZombieParts
Jul 18, 2009

ASK ME ABOUT VISITING PROSTITUTES IN CHINA AND FEELING NO SHAME. MY FRIEND IS SERIOUSLY THE (PATHETIC) YODA OF PAYING WOMEN TO TOUCH HIS (AND MY) DICK. THEY WOULDN'T DO IT OTHERWISE.
Get that poo poo over with immediately. It's the whole point of dating anyway. First date.

Lucky Guy
Jan 24, 2013

TY for no bm

.2143 repeating

Squashing Machine
Jul 5, 2005

I mean boning, the wild mambo, the hunka chunka
my Halloween costume this year is the concept of girls on first dates saying "just so you know we're not having sex tonight" and then after maybe 12 minutes of making out they say "okay yeah let's have sex", never fails

CatBlack
Sep 10, 2011

hello world
However many dates it takes for them to prove themselves worthy of my penis

DaemonWyrm
Jul 3, 2003

Why don't I hear any sleep screams?

E1M1 posted:

my Halloween costume this year is the concept of girls on first dates saying "just so you know we're not having sex tonight" and then after maybe 12 minutes of making out they say "okay yeah let's have sex", never fails

I'm gonna need a visual of this alleged costume concept

A Stupid Baby
Dec 31, 2002

lip up fatty
ocho

Squashing Machine
Jul 5, 2005

I mean boning, the wild mambo, the hunka chunka

DaemonWyrm posted:

I'm gonna need a visual of this alleged costume concept

you'll know it when you see it, like last year I was the drum fill from "In the Air Tonight"

Kitchner
Nov 9, 2012

IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER
Clapping Larry
-1

Phobic Nest
Oct 2, 2013

You Are My Sunshine

horny cabbage patch doll

milkingmycow
Mar 28, 2008

by Cyrano4747
1 or 2 of those Indiana Jones dates usually does the trick.

FunkyFlashman
May 10, 2013

drat horror queefs posted:

All sex is rape hth

Not between two men

fuck the ROW
Aug 29, 2008

by zen death robot
depends on the alphabetical order of the name of the man you're going to have sex with, OP

Nuclearmonkee
Jun 10, 2009


Hexel
Nov 18, 2011




I went on one real date with a girl before she let me smang when i was 22 or so.

ElGroucho
Nov 1, 2005

We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane
Fun Shoe
How hot is he/she

Do they have nice sheets

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
theres a cool bar/restaurant near me called cargo, the ladies room has a nice sturdy sink that is at a good level for a girl to rest her butt upon it and allow me to put my mouth on her bathing-suit-area. this usually happens about 1/3 of the way through the date, after appetizzies and cocktailers but before din-din and lava cakes (a good dessert). avoid shrimplings as an appetizzy, shrimpers and private-part-fluids go badly together like drinkin OJ right after pasting your tooths.

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

lonesomedwarf posted:

this reminds me of a kevin body wilson songe, do you gently caress on first date, does your father own a brewery can i touch your breasts or will you give me a look something like that

do you live in or near new york? i've noticed some of your posts in threads about romance/dating/friendships and you seem like a very genuine person who is somewhat lonely. i would like to take you out for a night on the town, introduce you to some of my cool friends, hang out and knock back some tasty cocktailers. i bet you would meet a really nice lady and have a very nice successful date that includes pubic mouthing in the ladies bathroom

Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





Gatekeeper posted:

theres a cool bar/restaurant near me called cargo, the ladies room has a nice sturdy sink that is at a good level for a girl to rest her butt upon it and allow me to put my mouth on her bathing-suit-area. this usually happens about 1/3 of the way through the date, after appetizzies and cocktailers but before din-din and lava cakes (a good dessert). avoid shrimplings as an appetizzy, shrimpers and private-part-fluids go badly together like drinkin OJ right after pasting your tooths.

Why not just crawl under the table while she is eating dinner. You sound like a beta bitch boy and your woman needs to find a real alpha male who doesn't need to take her to the bathroom just to go down on her.

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



Zeroisanumber posted:

Three-ish, but you can go faster if you like the person enough.

3 is a p good number

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WIFEY WATCHDOG
Jun 25, 2012

Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.
0-5 minutes

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