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I've got some issues. I recently found a better paying job and started working out. These things have done wonders for my self-esteem. But I am still scraping by because I live in a city with exploding rent prices. I've fallen in love with a girl but the problem is that she only exists on my computer screen. In fact the circumstances which led to me developing this obsession are ridiculous. She is a camgirl on the popular camsite Chaturbate. I know how pathetic this is but knowing doesn't help me. I think about it all the time. The highlight of my day is logging on in the evening and chatting with her. Her channel is popular and it can be difficult to stand out from the crowd but when I get a response it makes my whole night. She checks the boxes for all of my fetishes. I have a thing for women with colored hair, particularly the unnatural shades of blue and pink that girls who have been overexposed to the internet sometimes have. I can't settle for a regular girl because this fetish excites me more than anything else. I can not compromise on this. I have found similarly attractive girls while browsing OKcupid but I can't seem to elicit a response. No matter how much care I take in crafting a message, I am ignored. It is starting to affect other aspects of my life. I don't sleep nights, I watch because it is the best part of my day. Sleep-deprivation isn't even the half of it. I am exhausted by the lengthy edging sessions at night. The excitement and escape I feel are the only thing keeping me going. I need it more than I need water or shelter. Some times I drink to wash away the pain. It works surprisingly well and I don't think about my problem for some time. I have thought about contacting her in moments of desperation but I have been unable to sleuth up any contact info, even after throwing money at the problem. Which brings me to a secondary problem dependent on the first. I am facing genuine lifestyle restrictions because of the money I am spending on the site. I barely eat and I subsist mostly on Folgers and an old drum of tobacco which is running out. The threshold between not eating well and not making rent is getting very thin. How do I solve my problem? I feel like this pursuit is why I am alive. The entire rest of my life is like a dull throb and malaise. I can hardly bear it but I don't have the stones or the drive to end it.
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Sep 25, 2015 03:47
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 04:09 |
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What girl?
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Sep 25, 2015 03:53
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ZoneManagement posted:What girl? I don't want to say. Blue hair and hitachi magic wand. That should be enough.
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Sep 25, 2015 03:58
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therapy
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Sep 25, 2015 04:10
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JakeP posted:therapy 
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Sep 25, 2015 04:19
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Sep 25, 2015 04:36
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a dog from hell posted:Her channel is popular and it can be difficult to stand out from the crowd but when I get a response it makes my whole night. Noob, shouldve scrolled right to the end and picked one of the girls who has no one in their room... undivided attention then 
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Sep 25, 2015 04:45
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Why not date real women, and keep a blue wig for kinky bedroom stuff?
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Sep 25, 2015 04:56
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Don't give up, OP! She'll realize that she belongs with you eventually!
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Sep 25, 2015 05:12
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Watching her get railed by another dude right now. Don't worry op, she really is thinking about you.
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Sep 25, 2015 06:02
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4 out of 10 but would read again
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Sep 25, 2015 06:25
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quote:The entire rest of my life is like a dull throb and malaise. Fukin post a link so we can see her.
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Sep 25, 2015 06:56
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op how many steam games and amazon wish list items have you bought this girl
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Sep 25, 2015 07:11
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was this you op did you send that message
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Sep 25, 2015 07:15
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Almost bought it until you got to the folgers and tobacco part, 2/10, try harder next time.
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Sep 25, 2015 08:17
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You fell in love with a stripper. No shame, it happens all the time. You're lonely. It'll hurt, but she's playing you.
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Sep 25, 2015 09:47
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The Noble Nobbler posted:It'll hurt, but she's only playing with you. FTFY as they're both consenting adults. It's pretty problematic to imply Camgirls are taking advantage of their viewers. OP, this is just her job and she doesn't give a rats rear end about you except that you like her show and pay for it.
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Sep 25, 2015 12:28
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The only way to end a destructive pattern of behavior is to repeatedly make the decision to not engage with it.
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Sep 25, 2015 12:40
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- hi
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"Lengthy edging sessions"
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Sep 25, 2015 14:03
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how fat are you OP?
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Sep 25, 2015 15:51
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Ocean Book posted:The only way to end a destructive pattern of behavior is to repeatedly make the decision to not engage with it.
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Sep 25, 2015 17:59
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Ocean Book posted:The only way to end a destructive pattern of behavior is to repeatedly make the decision to not engage with it. It's all I have.
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Sep 25, 2015 18:06
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Op, you should try LSD
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Sep 25, 2015 19:01
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a dog from hell posted:It's all I have. Lmao
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Sep 25, 2015 19:08
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a dog from hell posted:It's all I have. how fat are you OP?
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Sep 25, 2015 19:25
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a dog from hell posted:I've got some issues. I recently found a better paying job and started working out. These things have done wonders for my self-esteem. But I am still scraping by because I live in a city with exploding rent prices. You have obsessive thoughts and ideas about a woman whose job it is to be a fantasy. Simply by the fact that you are not eating and not making rent is signs that point to addiction, and your title points out you're aware of it. Go to therapy. Your insurance or work should give you some coverage. This addiction is ruining your life, as you state. You aren't sleeping- which is a huge thing that every human needs. You absolutely need to sleep, which would help you feel more "balanced" during the day. You can even work on how to improve the rest of your life there, and evaluate why it feels like a dull throb. Cam lady is not going to be able to help you; and you looking up contact info for her is really creepy, again, obsessive. Therapy will allow you to help yourself. Your destructive pattern of behavior is not all you have; it's just all you know and it's familiar, so you stick to it. Go learn healthier ways to behave, and you will be happier in the long run.
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Sep 25, 2015 20:36
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Guy what you said points to a real obsessive addiction and you need help. Everyone who suggests therapy is dead on. This is no different than being hooked on gambling, drugs, or video games. You need to realize that it's a fantasy and no matter how much you want it to be real, no matter how much money you throw at her she's never ever going to have anything more than a playful conversation with you when she's online and that's assuming she even realizes that you want to talk to her. She has men fawning over her all day and you are not special in any way to her and will never stand above the crowd and make her realize that she's always wanted to be with you and only you. Whatever is going on in your life you need to deal with it so that you can deal with this problem. Honestly you'd be better off with a prostitute or a stripper. At least they'll gently caress you and touch you. With this, you're only loving yourself. When you see her come online, just delete the email and resume whatever you were doing. If you find yourself thinking about her, change the topic in your mind to anything, absolutely anything else. Stay away from chaturbate for a while. It's not helping you to be there, especially if you're just waiting for her to come on.
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Sep 25, 2015 20:53
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your patronage is appreciated, I'm sure
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Sep 25, 2015 21:02
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I'm in love with a hot dog, op.
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Sep 25, 2015 21:29
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a dog from hell posted:I've got some issues. I recently found a better paying job and started working out. These things have done wonders for my self-esteem. But I am still scraping by because I live in a city with exploding rent prices. same op
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Sep 25, 2015 21:48
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OP don't listen to the nay sayers, I think you're in with a chance with this chick.
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Sep 25, 2015 22:03
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you should donate tons of money to her stream, camgirls love money
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Sep 25, 2015 22:16
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so where's this really from, bodybuilders forum copypasta or
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Sep 25, 2015 22:45
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OP, we're going to need a URL to verify that this woman is worth throwing your life away for.
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Sep 25, 2015 22:51
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Dely Apple posted:so where's this really from, bodybuilders forum copypasta or I'm definitely gonna go with "sadly real."
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Sep 25, 2015 22:51
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Evil Sagan posted:OP, we're going to need a URL to verify that this woman is worth throwing your life away for.
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Sep 25, 2015 23:08
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I'm pretty sure (from having jerked off there) that you're talking about hulk hands lesbian lol
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Sep 25, 2015 23:30
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Evil Sagan posted:OP, we're going to need a URL to verify that this woman is worth throwing your life away for.
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Sep 25, 2015 23:32
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I made this Russian camgirl cry because I was pretending to be a car thief who loved to rob stores, and she broke down crying saying that I reminded her of her boyfriend back in the village she came from.
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Sep 25, 2015 23:36
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Xile77 posted:I made this Russian camgirl cry because I was pretending to be a car thief who loved to rob stores, and she broke down crying saying that I reminded her of her boyfriend back in the village she came from. cool
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Sep 25, 2015 23:58
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