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Anne Whateley
Feb 11, 2007
:unsmith: i like nice words
There are separate listings for feet vs. socks off, so there could be separate listings for clothed pikachu vs. naked (the pussy/rear end option)?

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Viva Miriya
Jan 9, 2007

Bloody Queef posted:

I looked up that tokens are 5 cents (USD) a piece.

One pathetic goober paid 5,000 actual us dollars to see a 6/10 girl get naked and do stuff. What the gently caress? Wouldn't a hooker be cheaper at that point?

Not even pornostars cost that much for an evening.

facebook jihad posted:

Ah haaaa we found her! The something awful forums does it again!

lol

Viva Miriya
Jan 9, 2007

a dog from hell posted:

I've got some issues. I recently found a better paying job and started working out. These things have done wonders for my self-esteem. But I am still scraping by because I live in a city with exploding rent prices.

I've fallen in love with a girl but the problem is that she only exists on my computer screen. In fact the circumstances which led to me developing this obsession are ridiculous. She is a camgirl on the popular camsite Chaturbate. I know how pathetic this is but knowing doesn't help me. I think about it all the time. The highlight of my day is logging on in the evening and chatting with her. Her channel is popular and it can be difficult to stand out from the crowd but when I get a response it makes my whole night.

She checks the boxes for all of my fetishes. I have a thing for women with colored hair, particularly the unnatural shades of blue and pink that girls who have been overexposed to the internet sometimes have. I can't settle for a regular girl because this fetish excites me more than anything else. I can not compromise on this. I have found similarly attractive girls while browsing OKcupid but I can't seem to elicit a response. No matter how much care I take in crafting a message, I am ignored.

It is starting to affect other aspects of my life. I don't sleep nights, I watch because it is the best part of my day. Sleep-deprivation isn't even the half of it. I am exhausted by the lengthy edging sessions at night. The excitement and escape I feel are the only thing keeping me going. I need it more than I need water or shelter. Some times I drink to wash away the pain. It works surprisingly well and I don't think about my problem for some time. I have thought about contacting her in moments of desperation but I have been unable to sleuth up any contact info, even after throwing money at the problem.

Which brings me to a secondary problem dependent on the first. I am facing genuine lifestyle restrictions because of the money I am spending on the site. I barely eat and I subsist mostly on Folgers and an old drum of tobacco which is running out. The threshold between not eating well and not making rent is getting very thin.

How do I solve my problem? I feel like this pursuit is why I am alive. The entire rest of my life is like a dull throb and malaise. I can hardly bear it but I don't have the stones or the drive to end it.


Robotnik Nudes
Jul 8, 2013

Op you big dummy

Kinetica
Aug 16, 2011
OP if you keep it up and keep drinking too you'll eventually get the stones to off yourself so you probably shouldn't do that

Bobbie Wickham
Apr 13, 2008

by Smythe

Salt Fish posted:

OP, what is the pikachu?

I've seen Asian girls refer to themselves as "Pikachu," as in, "short, yellow, and cute." Maybe it's some terrible cutesy thing she does, like little girl talk while masturbating.

Ellipson
Sep 14, 2007

everything's cool
This thread got me to install flux, think about buying orange glasses off the internet, and learn things I didn't want to know about Chaturbate, and I still have more questions! Good job OP, this is the best 6 page thread in EN ever

coolskull
Nov 11, 2007

op, considering getting a waifu instead.

Obligatory Handle
Feb 27, 2004

by Lowtax
Wow. I really wish I would have seen this thread before trying to seriously respond to you chastising me and others in the dumb dorm room pot smoker thread.

Obligatory Handle
Feb 27, 2004

by Lowtax
But on second thought this has to be a fake post. No way someone is this pathetic.

darkwasthenight
Jan 7, 2011

GENE TRAITOR
99% sure it's her wearing pikachu ears and/or onesie, sorry everyone. On the plus side this has been a surprisingly educational 30 minutes of googling.

defectivemonkey
Jun 5, 2012

darkwasthenight posted:

99% sure it's her wearing pikachu ears and/or onesie, sorry everyone. On the plus side this has been a surprisingly educational 30 minutes of googling.

Why would you apologize this is the best possible answer.

too much dead rat
Nov 7, 2009

You think you're looking at me through some window, when all you're really doing is looking in a mirror.

Obligatory Handle posted:

But on second thought this has to be a fake post. No way someone is this pathetic.

I like your confidence in the world.

Chitin
Apr 29, 2007

It is no sign of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

Obligatory Handle posted:

But on second thought this has to be a fake post. No way someone is this pathetic.

This entire industry is based on people being this pathetic.

Obligatory Handle
Feb 27, 2004

by Lowtax
Let me live in ignorant bliss, please.

extra stout
Feb 24, 2005

ISILDUR's ERR

Chomp8645 posted:

44 tokens to do the pikachu

What is pikachu, precious??? What is pikachu?

What kind of idiot bitch pays more than 30 for a pikachu? No raichu? No pichu? I bet she only owns one costume and her impression is average at best.

Asclepius Hot Rod
Apr 5, 2009
Has anyone considered that maybe, just maybe, she can shoot lightning out of her rear end?

I'd buy that for 44 tokens!

KidVanguard
Jan 27, 2006

American Diaper
a girl used my apartment to camwhore for a night. she left a 6 pack of apple cider in the fridge because she thought it had alcohol and she was an idiot.

Andorra
Dec 12, 2012
You should make a thread in TCC where you can healthily talk about your addiction with like-minded people.

Xile77
Sep 18, 2003
<img alt="" border="0" src="https://i.somethingawful.com/forumsystem/customtitles/title-xile77.jpg" /><br />I love my fellow semen
This thread reminds me of the times I used to spend in the Sweet Eva cam chat. My friend and I would pay token for ridiculous poo poo. Once we had her write her name in ketchup on her bedroom wall, and then squirt it in her husband, Mike, while he slept.

It was kinda an addiction, because I always wanted to be there when the cops would bust in.

Nicomo
Jan 22, 2015
I've never understood he attraction of live cam girls. I get bored. I'd rather load up xhamster, watch a few vids of the same girls getting plowed, finish the job then get on with my day. The era of paying for internet porn is over, OP

little munchkin
Aug 15, 2010
*walks into thread where someone is reaching out for help about their serious mental problem*

hey everybody here's how I like to jerk myself off, in case any of you were wondering

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot
The irony of all of this is that I am really quite handsome but I have a standoffish personality and don't know how to talk to people. Most people seem to like like disingenuous personalities. I see many people make themselves seem likable by forcing the issue. Most people aren't perceptive to the lie or they just accept it as a necessity. It's very hard for me to force an attitude. I work nearby many cute girls at my job but I can't really stand to put on a show.

Typical E/N solutions don't solve this problem. My problem is not merely "putting myself out there". I am not approachable and my personality causes friction. I can become excited and make jokes but I can not channel that towards attracting the feminine.

Lonny Donoghan
Jan 20, 2009
Pillbug
Cam girls are good in my opinion and it's okay to be addicted to them.

MY PALE GOTH SKIN
Nov 28, 2006


meow

a dog from hell posted:

The irony of all of this is that I am really quite handsome but I have a standoffish personality and don't know how to talk to people. Most people seem to like like disingenuous personalities. I see many people make themselves seem likable by forcing the issue. Most people aren't perceptive to the lie or they just accept it as a necessity. It's very hard for me to force an attitude. I work nearby many cute girls at my job but I can't really stand to put on a show.

Typical E/N solutions don't solve this problem. My problem is not merely "putting myself out there". I am not approachable and my personality causes friction. I can become excited and make jokes but I can not channel that towards attracting the feminine.

yep when people think "what do I want most in a relationship" the answer is almost always "someone I can't trust"

bitches love disingenuous dudes

TerminalSaint
Apr 21, 2007


Where must we go...

we who wander this Wasteland in search of our better selves?

a dog from hell posted:

The irony of all of this is that I am really quite handsome but I have a standoffish personality and don't know how to talk to people. Most people seem to like like disingenuous personalities. I see many people make themselves seem likable by forcing the issue. Most people aren't perceptive to the lie or they just accept it as a necessity. It's very hard for me to force an attitude. I work nearby many cute girls at my job but I can't really stand to put on a show.

Typical E/N solutions don't solve this problem. My problem is not merely "putting myself out there". I am not approachable and my personality causes friction. I can become excited and make jokes but I can not channel that towards attracting the feminine.

Isn't there a rule where making a claim like this requires posting proof?

im cute
Sep 21, 2009

a dog from hell posted:

The irony of all of this is that I am really quite handsome but I have a standoffish personality and don't know how to talk to people. Most people seem to like like disingenuous personalities. I see many people make themselves seem likable by forcing the issue. Most people aren't perceptive to the lie or they just accept it as a necessity. It's very hard for me to force an attitude. I work nearby many cute girls at my job but I can't really stand to put on a show.

Typical E/N solutions don't solve this problem. My problem is not merely "putting myself out there". I am not approachable and my personality causes friction. I can become excited and make jokes but I can not channel that towards attracting the feminine.

If you're a no-effort, aloof, "everyone is a phony" prick with reasonably good looks, you should be swimming in damaged pussy. I don't know what's wrong with you, the kind of girls that stripping attracts are usually right up your alley (sometimes literally). Maybe you are overstating your looks, or understating your loving terrible personality.

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot

paco650 posted:

If you're a no-effort, aloof, "everyone is a phony" prick with reasonably good looks, you should be swimming in damaged pussy. I don't know what's wrong with you, the kind of girls that stripping attracts are usually right up your alley (sometimes literally). Maybe you are overstating your looks, or understating your loving terrible personality.

Girls usually want the man to approach and take risks and try to entertain them. Perhaps I would have more success with strippers.

im cute
Sep 21, 2009

a dog from hell posted:

Girls usually want the man to approach and take risks and try to entertain them. Perhaps I would have more success with strippers.

some of them even have blu hair!!!!

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot
Still it's hard to imagine limiting myself to one girlfriend when there are multitudes of varieties on the internet.

Secks Cauldron
Aug 26, 2006

I thought they closed that place down!

a dog from hell posted:

Still it's hard to imagine limiting myself to one girlfriend when there are multitudes of varieties on the internet.
Like any of them would want to deal with your spergy rear end either. :rolleyes:

Xiahou Dun
Jul 16, 2009

We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.



Yeah but in person they can you know like touch you. On your dick.

JFairfax
Oct 23, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

a dog from hell posted:

Still it's hard to imagine limiting myself to one girlfriend when there are multitudes of varieties on the internet.

you don't have to limit yourself to one when you're dating

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

a dog from hell posted:

Girls usually want the man to approach and take risks and try to entertain them. Perhaps I would have more success with strippers.

Where did you read this info about women, r/redpill?

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

What are you scared of OP?

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot

BgRdMchne posted:

What are you scared of OP?

What do you mean by this?

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

a dog from hell posted:

What do you mean by this?

Why can't you approach and "entertain" ordinary women? You might learn some things about yourself that you don't like and need to change through interaction with real people, not paying for the Pikachu.

BgRdMchne
Oct 31, 2011

What is the Pikachu?

Chitin
Apr 29, 2007

It is no sign of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

a dog from hell posted:

Still it's hard to imagine limiting myself to one girlfriend when there are multitudes of varieties on the internet.

You can have a girlfriend AND porn, you know.

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a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot

Chitin posted:

You can have a girlfriend AND porn, you know.

Bullshit. I've had a girlfriend before. Before I was in this rut. The minute they catch you with your pants around your ankles they start shrieking like harpies. You may as well have been balls deep in their best friend.

BgRdMchne posted:

Why can't you approach and "entertain" ordinary women? You might learn some things about yourself that you don't like and need to change through interaction with real people, not paying for the Pikachu.

Why should I change who I am if it's what I believe in? That is the problem other people have, always needing to fit. I don't need that. I can jack off to chaturbate.

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