Important lessons on dealing with the homeless

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Important lessons on dealing with the homeless

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

Homeless always have a bottle of booze hidden somewhere on them or nearby. Toss a few splashes on whatever your preferred hole is before you pork it, because the alcohol will likely kill whatever bacteria is making the hole smell so bad.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2015 06:09

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 22:05

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

Hobohemian posted:

I give people money all the time and they just say "thanks, have a good night". I bet you pussy rear end motherfuckers are just making up poo poo like when fat people talk about getting accosted at the supermarket.

No one time I lived in a historic neighborhood bordering the ghetto and this old lady came to my back door while I was making dinner and said "I'm homeless and I really need my insulin can I have money for insulin?" and I said "no way" and she said "but I'm dying!" and broke a planter I had on the back deck and I yelled "no one cares if a homeless dies" and she broke another planter then when the police came to get her body out of the flowerbed they said they knew her it turns out she just had Alzheimer's but I'm the one who had to buy two new planters.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2015 06:20

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

PT6A posted:

I gave a homeless dude a cigarette the other night when he asked, because you're kind of a jerk if you have smokes and don't give one to someone who asks.

Agreed it's only like 30 cents but one time outside the hospital this homeless guy asked me for a cigarette then he needed to use my lighter and I let him but when he was bringing it to his face he sneezed and a big loogie landed right on the lighter and he wiped it off but it was my only lighter I had on me and I had to throw it away and then wash my hands. I know it's only like a 1/3 chance that a homeless guy would have TB but I don't like those odds.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2015 06:26

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

genesplicer posted:

Last winter we had, what for us anyway, was a series of bitterly cold nights. We do have a few homeless in our town that Mrs. Genesplicer and I recognize. We had gone to our local supermarket to buy groceries, and saw one of the local homeless in the liquor section looking over the various bottles and counting coins, to see if he had enough. Mrs. Genesplicer and I were nearby, looking at some booze for ourselves, and we went over to talk to him. We asked which bottle he was considering. He pointed out a fifth of vodka, but said he wasn't sure if he had enough. I looked over the coins, and estimated he had 3 or 4 bucks. Not quite enough. Mrs. Genesplicer looked at me and nodded. I handed him a ten and said "This should help. But please, go get something from the hot food display, too. It's a cold night."

He took the money and looked at us with disbelief. I think it was because we gave him money at a time when it was obvious he was going to buy booze, and were not judging him. We wished him well and went on our way. Later, in line, we saw him in the next lane, with his bottle of vodka and a hot chicken meal. He saw us and smiled.

Some people might criticize me for helping support his addiction. I don't care. I figure that most homeless people would not be homeless if they had a choice, and something put them in that lovely situation. If I can do something to ease their suffering and give them a little comfort, I will. I have taken some homeless to shelters. I even once gave a guy the jacket off my back because he was obviously freezing and I was headed home in my nice, warm truck. I have more. He didn't. Mrs. Genesplicer and I have bags of supplies that we give out, as well as a few bucks in each bag.

The people who just want to shove them elsewhere are dicks. I hate to tell you, but if you don't want to help, you are a dick, too. You don't have to give out money, but little things like not treating them like dirt as you walk past. Not calling the cops to move them along. They get harassed enough as it is. Something as simple as dry socks on a wet day can really do wonders for them. Little ways to acknowledge they are part of the human family and not forgotten.

You and Mrs. Splicer sound like pretty solid folks.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2015 06:51

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