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blackjack dealers gently caress me, slot machines gently caress me, and I can't do a poker at all. That's my gambling story. I'd love to hear yours.
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Sep 28, 2015 06:12
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Sep 28, 2015 06:13
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All transactions are a gamble
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Sep 28, 2015 06:13
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Sep 28, 2015 06:13
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loving a hooker without a condom is a gamble
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Sep 28, 2015 06:14
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stop playing slots idiot
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Sep 28, 2015 06:15
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when you are losing a lot it means that a karma shift is about to occur and you have to double down big time to take advantage of it.
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Sep 28, 2015 06:16
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thats why i have a blackjack table in my bathroom and my bedroom and my office and my kitchen and your mom
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Sep 28, 2015 06:17
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Shinjobi posted:blackjack dealers gently caress me, slot machines gently caress me, and I can't do a poker at all. How to play blackjack: only go to the casino with as much money as you consider entertainment money. Sit at a low stakes table. Every time the waitress walks by, get another drink. don't hit on 17 you stupid gently caress. Drink as much alcohol as you can, enjoy playing the game, if you roll out of there $200 poorer, remember that you only brought enough cash that if you ran out you can still pay the bills. If you hit up an ATM because "JUST ONE MORE BET I'M DUE!" then kill yourself.
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Sep 28, 2015 06:17
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God I fucking love Diablo 3 gold, it even paid for this shitty title
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ThePriceIsRight posted:when you are losing a lot it means that a karma shift is about to occur and you have to double down big time to take advantage of it. took a friend gambling who had never gone before. She was only down 10 bucks, but I swear she went batshit and became hellbent on getting it back. Had a crazy look in her eye. She walked out 20 bucks on top when it was all said and done. I had no words.
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Sep 28, 2015 06:17
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Do you want a 100% chance to win? Don't go to a casino OP. Do you want to have a fun time? Find a house game for poker.
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Sep 28, 2015 06:17
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learn the 10 statistically best starting hands in hold em and fold on literally everything except those unless you're in vegas and surrounded by card sharks or something that will work better than anything you're doing now
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Sep 28, 2015 06:17
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amityville anus posted:loving a hooker without a condom is a gamble Who takes these stakes? I mean really.
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Sep 28, 2015 06:18
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sometimes it's cheaper
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Sep 28, 2015 06:22
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amityville anus posted:sometimes it's cheaper WHAT??!?!?!?!?
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Sep 28, 2015 06:22
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It's just entertainment dude, relax.
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Sep 28, 2015 06:24
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why not just take drugs? at least that way you're guaranteed to get the dopamine high, and its a direct chemical injection not a fake one from your actions
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Sep 28, 2015 06:24
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appreciate the advice but don't worry guys I'm not going into casinos crying in front of an ATM. Just wanting to see a positive more often when I go to have fun. I wanna look like I have half an idea how to cards.
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Sep 28, 2015 06:25
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Buy a pack of smokes and sit your rear end down in front of the slot machine for a couple of hours. Drinks are on the house.
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Sep 28, 2015 06:27
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Shinjobi posted:appreciate the advice okay well for real don't play slots
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Sep 28, 2015 06:27
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I played poker and put half of every win in my pocket never to be touched again. Usually you get about 85 to 115 % of your initial investment. Then spend like a buck or two on slots and enjoy free drinks. Eat at buffet, then go home. Good day overall and occasionally you can get it all for free depending on luck.
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Sep 28, 2015 06:29
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VendaGoat posted:WHAT??!?!?!?!? Without the condom there's a burden of proof to show that there was any loving at all
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Sep 28, 2015 06:30
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l78zVfhUYzM
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Sep 28, 2015 06:31
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amityville anus posted:Without the condom there's a burden of proof to show that there was any loving at all This poo poo makes no sense. Bet you a roulette player.
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Sep 28, 2015 06:32
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Moridin920 posted:stop playing slots idiot Slots requires the most skill of any game on the floor. The nuances are like a golf swing. It takes years of practice to get the velocity of the pull, proper release point and english on the handle to get really good. Maintain a positive attitude and keep practicing, you'll get there!
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Sep 28, 2015 06:35
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Never gamble against a machine or the house. Play poker.
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Sep 28, 2015 06:37
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If you've ever watched someone playing a slot machine and win the jackpot you might wonder how they did it. While most of the game is based off chance there are still a few tricks to winning the jacpot of the slot machine.
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Sep 28, 2015 06:37
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Here's my gambling tips. -Craps is more fun that what is financially prudent. -People talking about the free drinks are degenerate alcoholics. Not standard alcoholics, those are okay, but the really bad kind of alcoholic. The "free drinks" you get while playing video poker next to grandma and grandpa are so watered down just spend the $3-4 for a real drink. I mean sure you could get a bud lite but then you're a less funny less rich Larry the cable guy ya know? -My friends that gamble using systems like the 10 poker hands mentioned above have really fun stories about pissing off whole tables of old bitches having fun with money. Punchline is usually along the lines of "gently caress dem old rear end bitches I'm here to win and make rent not play with money for three hours" Cyberball 2072 fucked around with this message at 06:39 on Sep 28, 2015 |
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Sep 28, 2015 06:37
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Jim Flatline posted:Never gamble against a machine or the house.
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Sep 28, 2015 06:38
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Keep on practicing. Particularly the slots.
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Sep 28, 2015 06:53
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i have poker, blackjack, and slots in by bathroom. <  >yes I am down a handful of 9volts shut up
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Sep 28, 2015 06:53
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Actual gamblers (degenerates who lose money and eventually spiral their way into a support group or poverty) tend not to enjoy poker because its a skill game that requires know how and talent, and they're there for the endorphins. If you're going to play cards in a casino, study a poker variant like limit razz or 2-7 lowball. No-limit holdem relies heavily on aggression and wits more than knowledge, but the lowball variants are much more about knowing the starting hands and run-out of the cards. You can gain a significant edge just through a few weeks of learning. Or get a hobby that won't destroy your life
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Sep 28, 2015 06:54
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What is your reason for gambling?
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Sep 28, 2015 06:57
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my one encounter with gambling was one day where a friend was like "let's go to the casino" and i lost 20 bucks at blackjack thanks for reading god bless
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Sep 28, 2015 07:11
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If you're really determined to come out ahead as a gambler you have three options 1) Be very good at poker (this will take a lot of practice and you might never get there) 2) Already follow a popular sport very closely and bet on it (if this doesn't already apply to you, forget I even mentioned it) 3) Win the lottery lmfao Or you can just accept that the house will win slightly more than half the time and just have a drink and not give a gently caress
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Sep 28, 2015 07:48
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The trick is, dipshit, to always bet on the winning outcomes. God, it's like people don't understand this simple concept.
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Sep 28, 2015 07:57
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Try race horses. I won $50 off a $5 wager when I was 8 because I liked the horse's name.
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Sep 28, 2015 07:58
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gambling is unethical but more importantly its loving stupid
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Sep 28, 2015 08:01
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TEAYCHES posted:gambling is unethical but more importantly its loving stupid You should relax, maybe with a few drinks and a card game.
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Sep 28, 2015 08:03
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i dont have a problem with card games but the gambling industry as a whole is fuckin awful and exploits rubes
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Sep 28, 2015 08:08
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