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Mega64 posted:Someone do a narrative LP of Final Fantasy 1 where it's written as a weird knockoff D&D campaign with Sakaguchi as DM. A very long time ago, there was a man possessed of great ambition. This is his story. The people wait, their only hope, a prophecy... 'When the world is in darkness, Four Warriors will come...' After a long journey, four young warriors arrive, each holding an ORB. Wait, that's it? "Look, are you guys gonna roll characters or not?" What the hell is up with these classes? You always make this homebrew poo poo, can't we just buy a core rulebook? My buddy in Cali showed me these sick design docs for a new edition of D&D they're workin' on. No? Whatever, I'll be the Black Mage. I'll be the Thief, 'cause I'm always stealin' chicks' hearts! Uh-huh. I'm gonna be the Red Mage, because he's the most beautiful. Like me! Okay, in that case, I'll be the Who the gently caress invited this rear end in a top hat? *shrug* Well if not Koichi Ishii, who's our fourth gonna be? Who do you think? "I hate NPCs." "Your adventure begins outside of a town--" "Okay let's go kill some poo poo." Don't you wanna-- No, I wanna go kill some poo poo. Yeah, let's kill some poo poo! "Okay. Well, some poo poo appears." "I'm gonna use some fuckin' magic on it!" "You can't use any magic." "Well why not?" "Because you didn't buy any." "Whaddya mean, I didn't fuckin' buy any? You mean, like, I gotta go into a town and BUY my own magic? I'm a goddamn wizard!" Yeah, a poo poo wizard. Heheheh. Shut up. "You made that fight hard on purpose." "" "How come they were all hitting me?" "Because you're at the front." "Why was I at the front? That's bogus!" "Well, you didn't tell me your marching order." "Anything with your guy in the front." "So are you guys FINALLY gonna check out that town?" "Yeah, whatever." Can't you feel the heart and soul I put into these NPC dialogues? ... Can I not answer that? Hey, how come it costs money to save our game? ... Can I not answer that? Oh, let's look in the fountain. I bet there's treasure in there. Like a key or something, or at least some coins. Are you tellin' me I need take a bath? Well... I mean, he does have a point. "Let's go buy some fuckin' magic." "So what's the difference between Fire and Lightning?" "... I'll get back to you on that." HARM? That sounds metal as gently caress! Yeah! "That's poo poo. I wanna reroll my guy to someone who can learn that spell." "Too late." "At least, like, let me buy a sword or something then." "You're just doing this to spite us, aren't you." Okay, now we're ready to fight poo poo! Are you sure? Yeah, I could, like, kill god, brah. You're about ten years too early to kill god. And now I could kill him, like, twice. "Let's go buy some armor." Hey, why can't my guy use this armor I just bought? That's the rules. Your rules are poo poo. Actually, his rules are pretty great! "So, uh are you guys gonna fight poo poo all afternoon? I kinda got a story I wrote here." Well what if I like fighting monsters? And learning radical magic? You know what? Fine. There, we talked to this dude. LIGHT WARRIORS, I don't fuckin' know. Are you happy now? Let's go fight some more poo poo. Did you know? I was actually gonna put, like, a thing here. I dunno, maybe some other time. "As you travel to the north, you come upon some ruins. Maybe if you'd stopped by that CASTLE you would know why they're--" "Let's go inside and fight poo poo!" I swear, that's all you people ever think about. What about the rich lore? Look brah, the only lore I care about is what's inside this box. Fine, if you're gonna be like that, this one is mine. Before... And af-- --poo poo I'm the Thief, I pick the lock. You can't. Well, why not? Because it's, uh, it's a magic lock. Ho, brah, no problem. While you examine the lock, uh monsters show up and ruin your day! Hey, I just noticed, how come Yoshitaka's guy is behind me? He has, like, twice my AC. Oh, good point. Let's move him up front. Hmm, I'm with them. So that door looks pretty ominous. It must have a boss behind it. I bet it does. I make a save point, right here. Yeah, you wish. "This guy talks like a chump." "Sh-shut up, I spent a long time writing him." I'm gonna try out this sick new spell I bought. So, like, what's it do? It makes it harder for him to hit you. That's it? Seriously I wanna reroll my guy. For real, Nasir is, like, ugh. Why'd you let me choose this lovely class? "Okay let's leave." "But you guys still have to save the princess!" "Fine." My Ride check is 20 Guys, respect the story. They sure built that bridge fast! That bridge is pretty ugly. Yeah, sure. Like you could do it better. Actually, What awaits the Four, they do not know. Each hold an ORB, that 2000 years ago shined with beauty from within. But now, only darkness. Come!! Start your journey! Return the light of peace to our world. I can Well, okay, that was pretty good. "So where to now?" "I... uh, I didn't write that part yet." Fur20 fucked around with this message at 07:11 on Sep 28, 2015 |
# ? Sep 28, 2015 07:07 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 17:02 |
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ay that's an interesting party mang Also am I supposed to know the dev team of FFI offhand, Amano is the only name that leaped at me.
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# ? Sep 28, 2015 07:12 |
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Yesssssssssssssssssss. This is everything I wanted and more.
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# ? Sep 28, 2015 08:36 |
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Nasir should also be a recognizable name - he was the lead programmer for FF1-3 as well as Secret of Mana.
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# ? Sep 28, 2015 13:32 |
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MaskedHuzzah posted:Nasir should also be a recognizable name - he was the lead programmer for FF1-3 as well as Secret of Mana. Having played this game at an early enough age to be impressed by the bridge cutscene, the mysterious and somewhat ominous PROGRAMMED BY N A S I R will forever be burned into my brain. Gonna pull a Citizen Kane on my deathbed and croak out "NASIR" as my last word. "NOBS" should also be pretty recognizable as Nobuo Uematsu, aka the most famous Japanese videogame music composer of all time, aka the only Japanese videogame composer with any name recognition at all outside of the most hardcore console fanboys.
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# ? Sep 28, 2015 15:09 |
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I want Nasir and Nobuo to rub their mustaches together.
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# ? Sep 28, 2015 16:25 |
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Oh my gosh. You took the idea and ran with it!
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# ? Sep 28, 2015 21:45 |
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DynamiteKidd posted:Also am I supposed to know the dev team of FFI offhand, Amano is the only name that leaped at me. HIRONOBU SAKAGUCHI. Project lead on most of the single-digit Final Fantasy games. The DM and the Bl. Belt, ME. Made more great games than you have fingers. Likes: surfing, cleavage shots, gangsta rap Dislikes: enix Crowning Achievement: rad racer 2 --- NOBUO UEMATSU. Sole composer for all of the single-digit Final Fantasy games. Plays the Thief, NOBS. Now composes music for arcade cabinets in places that are too loud to hear it. Likes: ditch weed, hammond organs, david bowie Dislikes: motoi sakuraba Crowning Achievement: murdered a cancer patient with music --- NASIR GEBELLI. Programmer for Final Fantasy 1-3 and Secret of Mana. Plays the Bl. Mage, NASI. John Romero's inspiration for Daikatana. Likes: franzia, gallo, night train Dislikes: employment Crowning Achievement: fit a jpg into an already-full snes cart --- YOSHITAKA AMANO. Draws emaciated people in a professional capacity. Plays the Red Mage, BISH. His fursona is himself, except with long, beautiful hair. Likes: sashes, faeries, david bowie Dislikes: taquerias Crowning Achievement: designed gilgamesh *** CHAPTER 2: Divine Punishment You go north-- Who said I wanted to go north? ME. Wait, are we talkin', like, you-me, or ME-me? Me, as in like the DM, as in if you don't go north, you're gonna run into like five Beholders. So you're going north, and you come across a cave. Sweet! Maybe we can get some treasure! Is that all you ever think about? Well... yeah, that and fighting poo poo. In that case, roll initiative. I like those! Let's fight some more! YOU ENTER. THE CAVE. There is a broom in this cave. It says, How do you even pronounce that? Oh man, treasure! Let's enter this cave some more, too! There is also a witch in the cave. Is she hot? Man I dunno, just--she wants her CRYSTAL. Oh, I knew a chick from Yuba City who was all about the CRYSTAL, once. You don't wanna tap that, it ain't worth it. ... What's Yuba? It's in Cali, it's kinda north from Sacram--you know what, never mind. I gotta remind you guys, there's a whole lot of skulls on the floor here. Let's check 'em out, then! Which ones? All of them! I hate you so much. Yeah that was a dick move, brah. I meant you. Okay, we saw your dumb cave. Can we go east now? And now south, right? No man I said east, we just keep going. Far enough? Oh, and by the way, Ehh, rough encounter, but great XP. Never have too much of dat. Don't get cocky, you never know what's gonna happen next. Like this, for example How does one wolf gently caress us up that bad? You guys are right by a town, I bet there's an inn there. And plenty of story! Jeez, fine. Hmm, don't care. But-- C'mon, where's that inn? Oh, and plenty of shops. Time to spend this cash! But the pir-- Pirates are all dudes. I wanna hook up with that chick in the white magic shop. Mm, yeah, definitely wanna get with that INVS spell. That's... that's not what I'm talking about at ALL. Oh man, DARK sounds like a sick spell. That's, like, evil death magic, right? Uh... sure! "Buy some new weapons, too." "Yeah, and some armor! Get me that wooden shield!" Wait, I can't equip that? What? poo poo, that's mine now. Wait, I can't equip it either? These classes SUCK. Yeah, I wanna reroll too! Obviously, the shield is for me. "..." "Still, I want that Iron Armor. Let's go get some cash, guys." "Not bad, but we gotta kill a lot of Iguanas to get that money." That won't be a problem as long as I'm around. Why's your guy get to do so much damage? I crit for like twenty. *** I'm really excited for this armor, guys! ... ... ... ... So, who wants to fight some pirates! You suck. Let's explore. poo poo, last time I seen a green dog, I just finished pounding, like, so much shrooms. Man, we should make a game about, like, there's these mushroom people, and it's just nuts. Hmm, yeah, but maybe just like, you meet some mushroom people. I dunno if you could get into playing as a-- Why the gently caress is this guy still here? Heheheh, SLOW literally makes the enemies retarded. That's a little insensitive. Yeah, that's kinda... who named this spell, anyway? . Those retarded dogs really ruined our day. Okay, that's enough exploration. We'll go fight your dumb pirates now. Aye, I am Bikke the Pirate, and surprised I am that you scurvy dogs have the nerve to face me. Mates! Get those landlubbers! If you ever do that voice again, I'm gonna suplex you. That's poo poo, why did they all wake up instantly? Well, you won, didn't you? That's not really the point. Why even put this spell in the game? I won't be any more bother. I promise. Riveting storytelling. Yo Nobs you good at music, drop us a beat. Uh, uh, ok ... Why's this sound like Chuck Mangione? Yeah, Feels So Good came out, like, ten years ago, dude. gently caress y'all, this is my original soundtrack. Hey, is that Coneria? Let's stop there real quick. Why? I mean, uh, I'm surprised you remembered the name. Inn costs like less than half the price of that other place Oh, that's c--wait, no that isn't! Don't frickin' game my game! That shark was weaksauce, I could take like five of him. Three extra HP!? Lemme reroll that poo poo. Hey, a town! Let's check it out! Why are you so excited about this town? You aren't, so there must be some good stuff here! What's wrong with these people? They all look like they have fetal alcohol syndrome. They're elves! Elves gotta stop gettin crunk on the reg when they pregnant. Pff, then YOU dr--no, I know better than to ask you to draw characters with long, flowing hair. I knew there would be good stuff here! I can't wait to buy that sword for 4000 gold and then none of us can equip it! But I know I can equip this magic! Can't wait until we can afford it. So, uh, what's AMUT do? If you're Silenced and can't cast magic, you can use AMUT to remove the silence! "Anyways, we gotta get some cash." You're welcome Okay, so the money's cool, but it feels like we're gaining levels really slowly lately. Let's go explore, see if we can find some bigger game. B, but what about the elves and the prince? I'm not gonna make a frickin' ride check on a prince. I might. Hmm, yeah. Well, okay, maybe. But I'd rather gain some levels. Oh, you wanna gain some levels, huh? I'll show you some fuckin' levels. You encounter some ZOMBIE MINOTUARS. That's right, they just hit me for half my fuckin' health. You wanna gain some levels? HERE YOU GO. Assholes. Well, poo poo. Fur20 fucked around with this message at 05:35 on Oct 2, 2015 |
# ? Oct 1, 2015 02:15 |
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I'm trying to figure out what to say apart from just . Thanks for the cast list.
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# ? Oct 1, 2015 02:57 |
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You linked the sailing song as part of a playlist.
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# ? Oct 1, 2015 03:09 |
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Huh, I didn't realize you could de-playlist a thing. That's helpful!
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# ? Oct 1, 2015 03:19 |
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Heh, this is great
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# ? Oct 1, 2015 03:32 |
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Something I noticed, the soundtrack only uses the pulse wave and triangle channels. Not many NES soundtracks used the sample channel in general, and this specifically frees up the noise channel for all the sound effects, so the song never has to cut out to play one. He did the same thing with FF2's soundtrack, and only the battle songs in FF3 use the noise channel. And he's doing something tricky to get that base drum hit.
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# ? Oct 1, 2015 03:37 |
This is sublime.
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# ? Oct 1, 2015 23:39 |
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did not know what I was expecting with clicking on this thread but it exceeded any of those expectations
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# ? Oct 2, 2015 06:38 |
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This thread is going to be amazing.
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# ? Oct 2, 2015 21:25 |
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Giovanni_Sinclair posted:This thread is amazing. ftfy
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# ? Oct 2, 2015 22:04 |
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I usually don't go for narrative LPs but this is magnificent.
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# ? Oct 3, 2015 00:11 |
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This is magical and you even used the northern peninsula as a gently caress you that backfired.
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# ? Oct 3, 2015 07:34 |
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This is a completely amazing LP.
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# ? Oct 3, 2015 08:11 |
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Voted 5.
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# ? Oct 3, 2015 10:10 |
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I'm so glad this thread is a part of my life now.
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# ? Oct 4, 2015 15:54 |
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Chapter 3: Shovel I know how to fix this, I'll throw some of these at them. ... Well, there's no accounting for initiative. But this'll stop 'em for sure! Seriously? I didn't really care for those, way too much effort for crappy XP. Mm, did you even balance the CR? These are righteous though. Weak to fire and they give a ton of experience. If I woulda known the damage rules you made up, though, I woulda played as your lovely Bl. Belt class instead. Hmm, pretty intimidating. Just kidding! You guys suck. You know what? You hit the level cap. Why the hell is there a level cap? It means he hasn't written the rules for what happens when you reach 16th level yet. Fine, I guess we gotta uh what were we supposed to be doing, anyway? Right, right, we were going to Melmond. Probably. Hmm, do you think this is far enough west? They don't act like they need help. Yeah, no, these are first world problems. This is sooooo not Melmond. Hey, what's a FLOATER? It's, y'know, when you drop a <whisper whisper> and then there's, like, one that's <whisper whisper> Oh. Wait, why would you tell me that? That's really gross. Maybe it's down here by the elf town. We can pick up some magic while we're here, too. Hey Gooch, where's Melmond? Why are you asking me? You gotta ask the NPCs. But it's a city, not a castle, right? gently caress it, we'll find it on our own. Not west enough, huh? Hmm, maybe we went a little too far west? Nah, nah, we'll check a little bit down, maybe. God drat, Melmond is hosed. Oh, sure, it's not like we knew the damage formulas beforehand. I guess this used to be the weapon shop. So sad. What the gently caress is this? Hey, not every treasure chest can have something in it, you know? Your face can have my fist in it, though, you know? Hey, no need to get violent. There's just no treasure in this one. Or, uh, this one. Hmm, even I wanna hit you now. Hey, cool it or I'll bring out some big monsters. Sounds good! ... Never mind. Wait, what the gently caress kind of wizard does 22 damage by punching a dude? Hey, punching is just really strong in this game, okay? Hm, I think I get it now. Melmond stole the CROWN from the elves, so the elves came and destroyed their city. What assholes. ... Sorry we couldn't save your town, guy in that other city. *** No wonder it was so easy to steal this crown. HERB sounds like a good idea though, somebody play for me for a sec. OUTSIDE. I don't want my apartment smellin' like that. Yeah, yeah. ... So now what? I dunno. Man, couldn't you give us more direction in this campaign? You guys don't wanna check out this castle? Not really, but whatev'. What a dump. Mm, we tell this guy his house is really messy. ASTOS is insulted. He attacks you! Hey, Nasir ain't back yet. What's he gonna do on his turn? He'll cast FAST on me. Hey, why do you get to be the hero? Because, uh, because. Bwffffffffhhhh The gently caress was that? That's the sound bosses make when they die! And why did he drop CRYSTAL? Weren't you guys listening? He said he had Matoya's CRYSTAL. ... No, he said he was insulted that I told him he needed to clean up his messy house and then he attacked us. I, well, that's--okay pretend he told you he had Matoya's CRYSTAL. Just, just roll with it, okay? No way, I got plenty of business here. Dude, she's like, 90. Brah, no problem. You disgust me. Hey, I wasn't kidding when I told you to do that outside! *** Now you can open those doors! ... Which doors? This place is called ElfLand? Really? Well... sure! Oh, that's cool. That's mine for sure. Wait, if I can't equip it, and you can't equip it... ... why even put that in the game? Seriously, what the gently caress even is it? Like, some kinda shovel. Is that the joke? Shovel isn't actually armor? It's a gauntlet! No, no way. That's a shovel. Hmm, definitely a shovel. Here, let me show you how to draw a gauntlet. Is it, like, a gauntlet, or, or, or bracers for your forearms, or, like
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# ? Oct 4, 2015 22:43 |
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I've gotta wonder how much like real tabletop sessions this is. Never been... fortunate?... enough to participate in one
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# ? Oct 4, 2015 23:37 |
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It's pretty accurate.
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# ? Oct 4, 2015 23:40 |
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Ciaphas posted:I've gotta wonder how much like real tabletop sessions this is. Never been... fortunate?... enough to participate in one Obligatory https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-leYc4oC83E Also holy poo poo this is a great thread.
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# ? Oct 4, 2015 23:44 |
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Ciaphas posted:I've gotta wonder how much like real tabletop sessions this is. Never been... fortunate?... enough to participate in one kinda depends but I would say 7/10 times you will have sessions like seen here. Then you have those sessions where everything goes so well and you wonder why every session isn't like that, then you have that ONE session where you decide at the end that the group is gonna take a break for a while
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# ? Oct 5, 2015 00:32 |
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The only thing that's missing for me is the dude who knows the rules as well as the DM and doing crazy stuff min-maxed.
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# ? Oct 5, 2015 00:40 |
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EponymousMrYar posted:me is the dude who knows the rules as well as the DM and doing crazy stuff min-maxed.
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# ? Oct 5, 2015 00:45 |
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Yeah, but he's the inevitably lovely DMPC.
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# ? Oct 5, 2015 00:47 |
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I was not cool enough to play D&D with the other nerds in school. I'll let that sink in.
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# ? Oct 5, 2015 01:07 |
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dis astranagant posted:Yeah, but he's the inevitably lovely DMPC. Yeah, I played with a group where we swapped around being DM's (and games) regularly. We only got as far as 'follower npcs.'
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# ? Oct 5, 2015 01:24 |
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I could go into long technical bullshit about FF1's classes but there's already 200 LPs like that, but I have to mention despite the game's age it's remarkably well balanced, so despite weird things like how tons of equipment is fighter-only or half the stuff being bugged to hell, the six classes aren't too disparate in power all things considered. Yeah, fighter's the best class, but TWD has a party entirely without the fighter and is doing just fine. It helps 4 of the classes can hammer attack really well and the two that can't are the full mages.
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# ? Oct 5, 2015 04:49 |
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Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:I could go into long technical bullshit about FF1's classes but there's already 200 LPs like that, but I have to mention despite the game's age it's remarkably well balanced, so despite weird things like how tons of equipment is fighter-only or half the stuff being bugged to hell, the six classes aren't too disparate in power all things considered. Nothing But Ninjas for the Win.
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# ? Oct 5, 2015 04:52 |
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You can successfully run a game of FF1 with pretty much any "all four the same class" matchup if you know the game decently. It is VERY well balanced.
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# ? Oct 5, 2015 06:43 |
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Given the rest of the game though, I can't help but hypothesise that the balance was completely accidental.
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# ? Oct 5, 2015 06:50 |
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Skyridge posted:Given the rest of the game though, I can't help but hypothesise that the balance was completely accidental. It's a very happy coincidence though. With that said, while 4 White Mages is definitely doable, it's the most boring single class challenge run.
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# ? Oct 5, 2015 06:51 |
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Thief is pretty bad, though. And I don't think ninja is all that great either. Worse offense and defense than a knight and the black magic is past the point that it's very useful. The only thing they really bring to the table is FAST, but not only do you have to be very high level to get it, if you want a character that can cast FAST and fight well, you may as well just take a red mage, which gets the key spell much earlier, is very useful right from the start, has a whole lot more versatility and doesn't even end up doing all that much less weapon damage than a ninja. Other than thief/ninja, though, the game is remarkably well balanced and there are good reasons to take all the other classes.
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# ? Oct 5, 2015 07:12 |
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Ciaphas posted:I've gotta wonder how much like real tabletop sessions this is. Never been... fortunate?... enough to participate in one It's a fairly accurate depiction. Sometimes I cheat and use direct quotes and scenarios from games I've been in--no logs or recordings, I just have a really good memory. Well, your mileage may vary. While I'm the exactly sort of indoorsy person you'd expect to make an LP like this, the kinds of people I've played with include unemployed mokes who surf all day and drink Heineken all night, firefighters and EMTs and other assorted public servants, and a GM who was brought up on a B&E because he's a gigantic idiot. Lotta by-mouth sound effects, people standing up and pantomiming poo poo, we once stopped for like half an hour to chase some boar our host's neighbor saw, and I'm the spoilsport who said "eh, no smoke weed in my house you faka." Sadly, a lot of the people who I've played with are also kinda racist against white people, so good luck ever seeing the d20 side of them if you'd even come close to passing the paper bag test I'm sure you'd get very different results if you got a bunch of guys like me together--well, no, my buddies' mannerisms have all rubbed off on me and I doubt I could play a straight-faced game of D&D. As far as I'm concerned, not only is it the only way I've ever played, but it's the only way to play Heithinn Grasida posted:Other than thief/ninja, though, the game is remarkably well balanced and there are good reasons to take all the other classes. Even then, Thief/Ninja was supposed to be much better than it actually is. However, it got hit with a double-whammy of bugs that completely negate the Thief's run bonus that should've cranked it up to ~100% and then one that more or less nullifies what would've been an astronomically high crit rate on the Ninja's Katana since every weapon in the game gets comparable rates due to a sketchy math formula. Fur20 fucked around with this message at 07:23 on Oct 5, 2015 |
# ? Oct 5, 2015 07:20 |
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# ? Mar 29, 2024 17:02 |
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First session I did in pathfinder, I had one of *those* arguments with a new player on why he wasted his action, I think I urged him to "Aid another" and he gave the rogue a +2 to hit, but the rogue whiffed and he started arguing about how he should have been granted his action back again. Was rough telling him it really didn't work like that. Previously he didn't like slowly moving forward in a trap-filled hall-way, so he decided to say "screw it" and walked right into a sliding blades trap and nearly died to it, even as the rogue was doing his best to detect and disarm traps. We never resumed that session, but I think it burned him a bit on the game too. It burned me on wanting to host a session.
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# ? Oct 5, 2015 09:29 |