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1000 Sweaty Rikers
Oct 13, 2005

try to keep your bladder topped-up, so you are always ready combat any small fires that may appear nearby

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1000 Sweaty Rikers
Oct 13, 2005

failing the above, cut open any artery and bleed directly onto the flames until either you or the fire are out

tater_salad
Sep 15, 2007


Make sure your home is 100% dirt and concrete this will prevent it from being on fire.

Furia
Jul 26, 2015

Grimey Drawer

Tace Vim posted:

failing the above, cut open any artery and bleed directly onto the flames until either you or the fire are out

This is some amateur poo poo. Everyone knows that the best way to go about this is to replace you blood with fire extinguishing chemicals in the first place by oral or intravenous methods

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

tater_salad posted:

Make sure your home is 100% dirt and concrete this will prevent it from being on fire.

Not necessarily

Masturbasturd
Sep 1, 2014
Always replace Gilbert Godfried's batteries every six months.

Pebergehund
Jan 21, 2010

Go with the classic: fight fire with fire

corpuscollossus
Apr 19, 2007

Nefarious posted:

help my balls are on fire!!!!

Ask your bf if he just ate sriracha

penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald

Enfield posted:

actually im incredibly not qualified lol

lol

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.






Apparently there is such a thing as a sixth degree burn but not to worry, you'll be long dead before the fire eats completely through your bones

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum
stay drunk all the time so you can piss on fires when they start

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Fun Shoe

Pebergehund posted:

Go with the classic: fight fire with fire



Im gonna add this to my firehack list

tater_salad
Sep 15, 2007



Also don't store hosed up super reactive rear end chemicals in your dirt and concrete house.

poopzilla
Nov 23, 2004

never get out of the shower

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Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Fun Shoe
How about: if you cant handle the heat, get out of the kitchen!

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