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Booblord Zagats
Oct 30, 2011


Pork Pro
Calls in an airstrike


gets a big ol boner

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FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

*be 17 years old*

*time for the ritual*

*now I'm in community college and one hand is very large*

GORDON
Jan 1, 2006

by Fluffdaddy

RideTheSpiral posted:

*travels 1600 miles on holiday*

*is still in same gay country*

*is glad of it*

gently caress'n a. The USA is like 15 different countries all wrapped up under Obamacare. It's pretty sweet.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

I love geese, and I am friends with many geese. I am the modern American. I vote in elections and go to the store. On Tuesdays we all play badminton and discuss rabbit breeds.

ArmedZombie
Jun 6, 2004

*watches high school football*

angular guitar
Nov 9, 2005
I met an American friend of mine when she was visiting London (also a terrible place but beside the point). She was complaining that since arriving she'd only been hearing American music on the radio and seeing American television. I was like "welcome to the rest of the world lol. we put up with this every day"

She also spoke with a fake English accent the entire time and would force conversations with strangers to demonstrate how English she was. I mentioned it within the first 60 seconds of speaking to her and she avoided talking about it.

bilingual hobo
Feb 20, 2014
* Turns iraq in to a -worse- hellhole. national hero*

*cheats on wife. Forced to resign * :911:

Schweinhund
Oct 23, 2004

:derp:   :kayak:                                     

RideTheSpiral posted:

TIME TO GO ON HOLIDAY KIDS

*gets in car and drives to different state*

when your biggest tourist attraction in the country is a loving ferris wheel then yes you leave the country to go ~on holiday~

Schweinhund fucked around with this message at 13:44 on Sep 30, 2015

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

*pronounces "grocery" with a hard k sound*

bilingual hobo
Feb 20, 2014
*wraps thanksgiving turkey in aloooooooominum foil*

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

I, the American people, love fireworks. However, I fear thunder. Is this the paradox that drives American life? It is.

StraightFace
Feb 9, 2014
*Doesn't know what the h in Herbs is used for*

dirty shrimp money
Jan 8, 2001

Booblord Zagats posted:

Calls in an airstrike


gets a big ol boner

*watches Russia call in an airstrike*


* gets all in their head *

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

*first country into space*

*last country into space*

*galactic hivemind descended from what was once humanity*

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
*appreciates his large, circumcised penis every day*

FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams
*Complains about the poor being lazy drug addicts while snorting cocaine.*

StraightFace
Feb 9, 2014

Chinatown posted:

*appreciates his large, circumcised penis every day*

:eyepop:

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

*emerges from the ground once every 17 years to smuggle maple syrup back from Canada*

I Pledge The Legence
Sep 18, 2009

Gleaming the Cube
overtly celebrates freedom, but only if there's no police watching.

cool new Metroid game
Oct 7, 2009

hail satan

*drinks lovely beer out of a tiny can*

FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams
*Buys a $300 machine for the privilege of paying $1.25 for each glass of soda*

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005
College Slice
*lives in house 10 miles away from nearest shop*

Jukeboxblues
Jul 29, 2015


Grimey Drawer
Hey everyone I just found this cool stick. I think I might use it to make something. Or maybe I will throw it for my dog to grab and bring back and it will be like a fun game. Hey maybe I can do both. Yeah, I think I will do that, what do you think Rufus? Good boy.

*goes home after playing with his dog in the park*

*puts the stick on his mantle place and makes a cup of coffee*

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

*speaking Chinese*

*living in China*

*born there in China to Chinese parents*

Ringo Star Get
Sep 18, 2006

JUST FUCKING TAKE OFF ALREADY, SHIT
*spends one quarter of earnings on gas because all jobs are far away and public transportation keeps striking or doesn't exist*

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010

RideTheSpiral posted:

*lives in house 10 miles away from nearest shop*

please stop spying on me op

Jukeboxblues
Jul 29, 2015


Grimey Drawer
*Looks at the lovely landscape and smiles*

drat, this is some good coffee!

*starts thinking of cool things they can make with the stick*

Yeah I think I might go to the hardware tomorrow and pick up some tools so I can start making something out of that stick!

cool new Metroid game
Oct 7, 2009

hail satan

allahu akbar!

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

tetsuo posted:

*posts anything positive about america on internet*

*lots of foreign dirt people who literally spend their entire lives learning about america and being butthurt post in response*

*laughs fatly*

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005
College Slice
hmm i sure am thirsty

*goes to coffee shop and orders drink that barely resembles coffee*

yep i love coffee

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

RideTheSpiral posted:

hmm i sure am thirsty

*goes to coffee shop and orders drink that barely resembles coffee*

yep i love coffee

lol if u drink cofffee to quench your thirst

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005
College Slice
*puts steak on grill and cooks for 40 minutes*

who ordered medium rare?

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

*lives inside a hole and only comes out at night*

*steals from the big people*

*doesn't believe in a world outside the house*

20matar
Jul 9, 2013

70fugir
*never criticizes the armed forces regardless of political stance*

StraightFace
Feb 9, 2014
*Doesn't know how to grill a steak over a wood fire, throws a burger on the gas instead*

mst4k
Apr 18, 2003

budlitemolaram

pro captial punishment / anti abortion / pro jesus / anti poor.

Pinch Me Im Meming
Jun 26, 2005
*goes from AC house to AC office via AC car*
*lives within driving distance of a national park*
*watches documentaries about wildlife on big rear end TV instead*

Pinch Me Im Meming
Jun 26, 2005

ReagaNOMNOMicks posted:

*goes from AC house to AC office via AC car*
*lives within driving distance of a national park*
*watches documentaries about wildlife on big rear end TV instead*

*owns X acres of land.*
*0.99 times X is size of house.*

Twerkteam Pizza
Sep 26, 2015

Grimey Drawer

Jim Flatline posted:

SURE IS JIM DANDY HAVING NO WORKERS RIGHTS AND BEING FIRED ON A WHIM WITH NO WARNING

BOY HOWDY

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spank my snatch
Jun 4, 2009

*plays "dueling banjos"*

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