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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIioacsiYGA Welcome to the UFC 192 GDT, 10 p.m. ET Saturday, Oct. 3, only on PPV! Don’t post streams, or else you will get 75 hours of community service and no formal felony conviction on your record! Yes, it’s true. Jon Jones has ruined our special night yet again by making the criminal justice system work in his favor. He’ll be back in the octagon in no time, beating people we like and being a generally insufferable, terrible, awful lovely person everywhere else. But don’t worry, dear goons. We can stand in solidarity with the majority of the main card, because Jon’s ruined their special nights too. For the Light Heavyweight Title  Daniel Cormier How his special night was ruined: Shat his kidneys out trying to make weight for the Olympics; got in more trouble for being beat up at a press conference than the guy who struck him; lost his undefeated streak to a guy who not only took him down a zillion times but crotch chopped at him afterwards. vs.  Alexander Gustafsson How his special night was ruined: Earned the maximum possible sentence in Swedish juvenile prison, which is like three weeks; lost a razor-thin decision to Jon Jones despite being the first man to take him down in MMA; got his poo poo pushed in by Rumble Johnson in front of is countrymen while a ref decided to give him the benefit of the doubt at the expense of most of his remaining brain cells. Daniel Cormier is in an unprecedentedly weird place in his career, unless you put much stock in the opinions of Fedor fans on sherdog. He is the undisputed UFC LHW champion, and yet despite this, he is perhaps inarguably not the best fighter in his division. But while he may have the limited-edition silver belt around his waist, he is still a helluva fighter and a cool guy. His only loss in his career is to Jon Jones, and he visibly broke mentally over the course of the fight. People questioned whether this would weigh on him in future bouts, but when he faced Rumble on short notice to fill in once Jones was stripped, he overcame a monster right hand in the first round to dominate the rest of the fight and secure a choke. Prior to that, the Olympic wrestler was on a successful tear at heavyweight, beating names like Barnett, Bigfoot and Big Country before finally overcoming his addiction to fried chicken and snack cakes because he did not want to risk fighting his BFF Cain. Gustafsson’s fight with Jones was actually a far closer affair, taking the virtually-undefeated phenom to a thin decision in which he single-handedly fucktupled the amount of damage Jones sustained over the course of his entire career. The Swede’s fight with Rumble, however, was far less close. And now he is contributing to the ruination of now-comain fighter Ryan Bader’s night by inexplicably leapfrogging him for a title shot off of a bad loss. Despite being 1-2 in his last three and having a background as a ~criminal element~, Gus is also a very good fighter with a live chance at the belt tonight. He is incredibly hittable, which has been the deciding factor in two of his three career losses, but he’s also outrageously durable — the Rumble stoppage came waaaay late and he still never fully lost consciousness, and he kept on his feet after that slicer of a Jones elbow that would have put down most other guys. Some goons will argue this makes Gus a Bad Fighter™, but smart and handsome posters will realize the fact that he’s been consistently in the top five despite this flaw make him good and cool instead.  No-Longer-Happening-Weight  Johny Hendricks vs. Tyron Woodley How their special night was ruined: Hendricks is a fat gently caress who decided the solution to his bad dietary habits interfering with his weight cut was to buy a steakhouse. Light heavyweight  Ryan Bader How his special night was ruined: Choked out by Tito Ortiz in 2013; leapfrogged by Jon Jones; should have the title shot going to Gustafsson on this card; still will not get the title shot even if he gets Evans because Jones is back. Vs.  Rashad Evans How his special night was ruined: Lost his title while making the funniest face in UFC history; decided to strike with Jon Jones after months of trash talk about how he would wrestle Jones and make him cry; lost his lineal pattycake championship to Lil Nog; has been repeatedly and constantly injured, causing him to not fight since 2013. I’d like to set the record straight and point out that by no means do I actually want to see Ryan Bader fight for a UFC title, as he is not that fun when he isn’t able to overwhelm and knock out an opponent early. Having said that, I would also like to note that he objectively should have the title shot right now and it is stupid he doesn’t from a sport perspective. Bader’s cleared out the middle pack/fringe contenders on a nice four-fight streak, did the UFC a favor by letting them opt not to re-sign Phil Davis in his last outing (on the very card that Johnson murdered Gus, no less), and no one above him deserves a shot any more than he does by any stretch of the imagination. But the UFC is in the entertainment business and Bader’s gone back to his bread and butter of grinding wrestling after getting knocked out brawling in his last two losses. A win over a name like Evans — flawed as he is — should further cement Bader’s case for a title, but Jon Jones’ most likely imminent return has almost surely robbed him of this just like the time they fought when Bader was last sniffing a title shot. All that being said. Rashad is beat up at this stage in his career. He’s had a handful of truly memorable performances and even many of his bad fights have their moments, but the bad far outweigh the good at this point. He hasn’t had a win over someone who legitimately belonged at 205 since Phil Davis in 2012. He has spent the past nearly two years on the injured roster, but because the media value the Rashad Evans Brand® he has remained in or around the top 5 of the division. Much like Bader, he entered the sport with a strong wrestling background and he maintained a grinding, low-finish style until he discovered he had power in his overhand right. Since then, he’s spammed that poo poo like repetitive arm motion was the only thing keeping his heart pumping, which his inability to reliably land has lead to pretty much all of his losses and near-losses in one capacity or another. For that reason, though, there is an outside chance this fight will end in exciting fashion early rather than devolve into a cage grind, so fingers crossed. Heavyweight  Shawn Jordan How his special night was ruined: Only got enough playtime to clock 32 yards in 4 attempts at LSU; had to resort to eyegouging Mike Russow and Pat Barry to win; got knocked out by Gabriel Gonzaga and Fat Shitrione. Vs.  Ruslan Magomedov How his special night was ruined: Served in the very army that stomped down and oppressed his people, cursing his Chechen bloodline to eternal servitude under Unu, goddess of contagious diseases. The "Shawn Jordan argument", in pseudoscience, states that the laws of aerodynamics prove that Shawn Jordan can’t backflip, as it does not have the required capacity (in terms of distance from the ground or phyiscal speed). Consequently, therefore, science can be shown to be in error, providing a loophole for pseudoscientific "explanations". Arguments like these are occasionally used by creationists to claim that it's impossible for Jordan to be a product of evolution, though they're quite common in more general anti-science circles that like to cry "look at science, it knows nothing!" Unfortunately (for the pseudoscientists), the laws of physics do not in any way forbid Jordan to flip; there are no papers that deny bumblebee flight, and no scientist has done so in a lecture, except, perhaps, ironically. (Special thanks to pretentious atheist circlejerk RationalWiki for the assist.) Ruslan Magomedov is a heavyweight Chechen. He lost once back in the Euro b-leagues and is undefeated in the UFC — an opportunity he earned off the sweaty back of Tim Sylvia. It doesn’t seem he’s much of a finisher against remotely decent competition, and you should probably not be excited to see him fight. Flyweight  Joe Benavidez How his special night was ruined: Closed his eyes when swinging punches. Vs.  Ali Bagautinov How his special night was ruined: The mysterious mustached pee collector walked in on him literally as he was plunging HGH into his rear end. Joe B is TAM’s new Faber. He’s only lost two people in as many divisions, both of whom were current/future champs. He will probably never be a champ, as by the time Mighty Mouse is gone or his teammate/the other guy who’s already beaten him isn’t champion, he’ll be too old to clinch it. Other than that, he’s probably the overall second-best flyweight technically speaking. This bout was going to be the “main event” of the prelims until the Hendricks mishap forced a reshuffle of the card. Look for them to flex a punching power that is rare for a fighter of his weight class, either in an effort to earn a KO outright or to set up for one of his camp’s signature guillotine chokes. Barring a finish in either area, look for him to push the pace and threaten Ali both standing or grappling to secure a decisive decision win. Ali Bagautinov makes his return after a long layoff due to pissing hot for EPO following his own unsuccessful outing against Mighty Mouse. Ali was one of the vast wave of Dagestani prospects the UFC signed all around the same time, and has been the only one successful enough to actually fight in a title. This is less due to his personal skill being leaps and bounds above any of the other’s, though, and more due to his division needing contenders and Khabib constantly hurting himself. While he’s yet to finish a fight in the UFC, he has shown a strong ability to control his opponents through grappling and sheer physical strength. If he wins, it probably won’t be exciting or all that pretty, but it will probably make him look very tough to beat. Bantamweight  Jessica Eye How her special night was ruined: Pee tests came back negative; got comprehensively oustruck by Miesha Tate. Vs.  Julianna Pena How her special night was ruined: Won TUF in a shallow division hungry for title prospects and immediately blew out her knee, sidelining her for a year. Jessica Eye’s time in the UFC has had an up and mostly some downs. While her NC for weed vs. Sarah Kaufman should probably remain a win, she’s lost to the other two best fighters she’s faced in Alexis Davis and Tate, the latter of whom nearly knocked her out standing. She earned a doctor’s stoppage over Leslie Smith for drat near punching her ear off though, and that will always keep her place in our disgusting violence-fetishizing hearts. For her in the past few years, this bout is a relatively quick turnaround. It’s also probably seen by Sean Shelby and the UFC brass as a gimme to Pena, so that’s unfortunate. Pena defeated the dangerous, elite champion boxer and 38-year-old 1-5, 1NC pro mma fighter/current strawweight Jessica Rakoczy to win TUF, before completely shredding her ACL, MCL, LCL AND meniscus in an accident that was totally evil gym bullies who were jealous of her success on the reality show (except then maybe it wasn’t.) She has since returned and seems to have healed up nicely, overwhelming Milena Dudieva for a TKO stoppage. Her frenetic style of wild hooks and forward motion that leaves much to be desired defensively, she’s something of a female Wanderlei. Some people argue this makes her the most legitimate threat to Ronda Rousey, and they’d be wrong. Most agree that this makes her a pretty fun fighter to watch, though, and they’d be right. OTHER poo poo TO WATCH FS1 Prelims, 8 p.m. ET Featherweight Yair Rodríguez vs. Dan Hooker Welterweight Alan Jouban vs. Albert Tumenov Lightweight Adriano Martins vs. Islam Makhachev Women's Strawweight Rose Namajunas vs. Angela Hill Fight Pass prelims, 6:15 ET Lightweight Francisco Trevino vs. Sage Northcutt Flyweight Chris Cariaso vs. Sergio Pettis Heavyweight Derrick Lewis vs. Viktor Pešta Official Weigh-Ins, 5 p.m. ET today, Oct. 2 http://www.ufc.com/media/ufc-192-official-weigh-in Official MMA Snack Rating: Picking out the perfect calzones for your wedding, only to discover they’ve given you crippling food poisoning 
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Oct 2, 2015 19:18
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even with the absence of Woodley/Hendricks this card is insanely good.
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Oct 2, 2015 19:22
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-Atom- posted:even with the absence of Woodley/Hendricks this card is insanely good. Yea Esp if Woodley calls Bendo's bluff
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Oct 2, 2015 19:26
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fatherdog posted:[url=https://twitter.com/arielhelwani/status/649986131887390720] Lol
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Oct 2, 2015 19:30
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Bluedeanie posted:
You are a poet.
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Oct 2, 2015 19:51
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quote:fucktupled
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Oct 2, 2015 20:00
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hendricks. ole fat boy. ole got no nutritionist boy. ole early pregnancy belly boy
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Oct 2, 2015 20:05
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I really though Rashad was in the (until recent changes) Franklin camp of being pseudo-retired. Turns out he's just been really injured for a long time.
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Oct 2, 2015 20:08
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Johny "Fatt Fukk" Hendricks Get Bendo in to fight Dana, should be entertaining.
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Oct 2, 2015 20:23
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The prelims are uncharacteristically strong for this card actually. Sage Northcutt is a guy to watch, he's 19 and appeared on two episodes of a Disney Channel commercial filler program where some kid from Hannah Montana challenges other kids to extreme sports challenges. He also could be cast as Goku in a gay twink DBZ porn. Whether that is a positive or negative is in the eye of the beholder.
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Oct 2, 2015 21:32
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 "Hello Dana? I'm having problems making weight. Just not sure why."
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Oct 2, 2015 21:34
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Let him eat
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Oct 2, 2015 21:51
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quote:Weighs ins at Toyota Center today in 15 mins live on @FS1! And @TWooodley is such a stud he's going to get on the scale and still weigh in. Link for weigh ins https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVZBqmZJG_w
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Oct 2, 2015 22:01
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The grand weighin experiment is about to go live.
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Oct 2, 2015 22:01
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Efrain Escudero and Kelvin Gastelum are headlining a TUF season that is almost over?
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Oct 2, 2015 22:04
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Digital Jedi posted:Link for weigh ins Benson Henderson should run in right as they're about to move on after Woodley.
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Oct 2, 2015 22:06
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Sage Northcutt is a beautiful twink. Its nice that they matched him with the ugliest possible opponent. Haha gently caress 160!
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Oct 2, 2015 22:09
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I watched the "Looking for a fight" video a few days ago, thinking it was fairly new. I figured we'd see Northcutt in the UFC probably sooner than later...but not loving right now on my screen. That was a fast trigger-pull, goddamn.
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Oct 2, 2015 22:11
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Hahaha, Northcutt's oponent missed weight by 4 pounds.
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Oct 2, 2015 22:12
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Duzzy Funlop posted:Hahaha, Northcutt's oponent missed weight by 4 pounds. My favourite shrug is the "ehhh, I missed weight" shrug
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Oct 2, 2015 22:15
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bigg rigg hosed up making right poopie treats
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Oct 2, 2015 22:17
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Lets go Ruslan Magomedov! You randomly followed me on twitter for some reason!
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Oct 2, 2015 22:23
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god drat hendricks. This loving dude needs to get on the program. wtf is wrong with him? If he doesnt want to be in the ufc then dont .
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Oct 3, 2015 00:26
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So can I ask a dumb question? Does woodley get any $ for being ready and this thing going down like this?
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Oct 3, 2015 00:35
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He got his show money because he made went ahead and made weight like a professional. IMO he should get his win money too, but dunno if he did.
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Oct 3, 2015 00:38
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Jst0rm posted:So can I ask a dumb question? Does woodley get any $ for being ready and this thing going down like this? Contractually the UFC is obligated to pay him his show money, but probably not anything else. They usually do throw in some extra for guys whose opponents can't make, but how much who knows.
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Oct 3, 2015 00:42
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fatherdog posted:Contractually the UFC is obligated to pay him his show money, but probably not anything else. They usually do throw in some extra for guys whose opponents can't make, but how much who knows. So what is the show money? Do we know the amounts?
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Oct 3, 2015 00:47
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=el9HP-vGpFQ&hd=1 For having been injured for two years, Rashad looks pretty good physically. Bader's kicking technique looks a lot less garbage than it used to. Cormier and Rashad are both funny dudes.
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Oct 3, 2015 00:50
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Now I don't want to spread gossip but I have heard that a certain Heavy Weight went to train the Team Take Down and might of embarrassed Big Rig with his wrestling that was from a non wrestle country, which made Big Rig try and compensate with size, which then backfired when he had to actually compete.
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Oct 3, 2015 00:50
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Jst0rm posted:So what is the show money? Do we know the amounts? As of the last time he fought, Woodley was making $65k to show.
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Oct 3, 2015 00:50
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fatherdog posted:As of the last time he fought, Woodley was making $65k to show. In an interview Woodley said that he had plans for the win money, so he's disappointed if he only gets his show. That seems ill-advised.
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Oct 3, 2015 01:48
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i cared about that fight more then the main. hendricks is dead to me now.
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Oct 3, 2015 01:51
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fatherdog posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=el9HP-vGpFQ&hd=1 TAM always finding new excuses to take off their clothes.
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Oct 3, 2015 02:02
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willie_dee posted:Now I don't want to spread gossip but I have heard that a certain Heavy Weight went to train the Team Take Down and might of embarrassed Big Rig with his wrestling that was from a non wrestle country, which made Big Rig try and compensate with size, which then backfired when he had to actually compete.
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Oct 3, 2015 06:50
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Triticum Guzzler posted:bigg rigg hosed up making right poopie treats
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Oct 3, 2015 07:06
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Ditch posted:How would Hendricks "compensate with size" against "a heavyweight"? served him an extra side of fries
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Oct 3, 2015 07:15
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What's the general feel, does Gus have a chance? *also lol at fat bastard Bigg Rigg move up already*
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Oct 3, 2015 07:24
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The concept of Hendricks being competitive with monsters like Weidman, Rockhold, Romero or Jacare is absolutely comical (which is why nobody is claiming that he would be). But maybe getting squashed by one of them, or a Tim Kennedy type, would finally wake him up.
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Oct 3, 2015 07:54
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doverhog posted:What's the general feel, does Gus have a chance? I think he has a pretty decent chance, and is being undervalued if you look at the money line, which is likely due to the Rumble knockout. Otherwise, I'd peg the fight about 45-55 in DC's favor, with his wrestling possibly helping to grind out a win.
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Oct 3, 2015 09:13
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