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Mofabio
May 15, 2003
(y - mx)*(1/(inf))*(PV/RT)*(2.718)*(V/I)

WorldsStrongestNerd posted:

Jesus an actual example of the noble savage myth in tyool 2015.

Like on one hand, they would no longer have to worry about starving or giant parasite worms in thier flesh, but you would be destroying thier whole world.

Lol someone who believes in the myth of progress in tyool 2015

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Samuel Clemens
Oct 4, 2013

I think we should call the Avengers.

Bip Roberts posted:

Really we should just make trading agreements to them and when they get in debt take their land forcibly by reneging on previous agreements.

That sounds complicated. Can't we just take their land and be done with it?

Sucrose
Dec 9, 2009

XMNN posted:

People keep saying noble savage a lot then arguing that civilising the jungle savages is the white man's burden.

I have no doubt that life for these people is nasty, brutish and short and dying of an intestinal parasite is something that ideally wouldn't happen in 2015, but everywhere you look life is nasty, brutish and short and people are being killed by treatable diseases including specifically in the countries where these people live and for similar groups that have had some interaction with global civilisation.

As long as we're not forcing them to remain in the rainforests, I just don't see how it can be ethical to force them to interact with us.

People have a misconception that Amazonian uncontacted tribes are unknown people living in some sort of primeval state who have never encountered modern civilization. In fact most of these tribes are descendants of agriculturalists, who fled deep into the rainforest during the early 20th century during the Rubber Boom to escape genocidal massacres of indigenous people by rubber plantation owners and loggers. Anthropologists typically know exactly who these groups are, what languages they speak, and who their closest contacted relatives are. These groups refuse contact by choice, not because they are unaware of the outside world.

Also, it's not unusual for these isolated groups to re-establish contact themselves after several generations have passed and violence against them has mostly stopped. This has happened in the Andaman Islands, though the indigenous groups there are still in a bad situation.

Sucrose fucked around with this message at 02:22 on Oct 11, 2015

XMNN
Apr 26, 2008
I am incredibly stupid
Weren't the last "uncontacted" groups in Central America Mayan refugees from the Spanish who were just living in remote agricultural regions?

DeusExMachinima
Sep 2, 2012

:siren:This poster loves police brutality, but only when its against minorities!:siren:

Put this loser on ignore immediately!

XMNN posted:

Weren't the last "uncontacted" groups in Central America Mayan refugees from the Spanish who were just living in remote agricultural regions?

Yeah.

Forcing someone to have contact with you for their own good isn't okay, but I have no legal problem with private individuals such as missionaries hiking around public reserves and exercising their free speech with whomever will listen. It's pretty dumb but it's not the same as "okay we're going to take your children to special schools whether you like it not d/w/i" like they did in Australia. Anyone conducting business like logging or oil prospecting (assuming it's legal) is also justified in shooting the poo poo out of any attacking party that puts lives in danger.

suck my woke dick
Oct 10, 2012

:siren:I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!:siren:

Put this cum-loving slave on ignore immediately!

Mofabio posted:

Lol someone who believes in the myth of progress in tyool 2015

lol someone who believes progress is an ideology and not a descriptor of more people having access to more technologies and institutions that make life more convenient

Accretionist
Nov 7, 2012
I BELIEVE IN STUPID CONSPIRACY THEORIES
I think everyone should the option to live however they want, so I'm sympathetic to the OP's proposal, but modern civilization has no facility with which to make that happen.

Nintendo Kid
Aug 4, 2011

by Smythe

Kawasaki Nun posted:

What about people who homeschool their children? Should that practice be banned? Forcing people to interact seems like a losing proposition. There is a reason that they have chosen to isolate themselves

Homeschooling should absolutely be limited to cases of legitimate need. For instance:
1) Medical needs - short or long term illness or injury that requires being out of school
2) Mental needs - students who simply can't handle the school
3) Protection from bullying - students who are subject to unrelenting abuse should be allowed to be out of the school until those other kids can be handled.

I've known people who were stuck in homeschool situations against their will and in no way wanted to be there. And on top of that their parents were lovely as hell at teaching anything, and refused to use the free teaching materials/help that practically any public school authority in the country is more than willing to give out.

DeusExMachinima posted:

Yeah.

Forcing someone to have contact with you for their own good isn't okay, but I have no legal problem with private individuals such as missionaries hiking around public reserves and exercising their free speech with whomever will listen. It's pretty dumb but it's not the same as "okay we're going to take your children to special schools whether you like it not d/w/i" like they did in Australia. Anyone conducting business like logging or oil prospecting (assuming it's legal) is also justified in shooting the poo poo out of any attacking party that puts lives in danger.

I kinda do have a problem with them exercising "their free speech" if only that they probably don't know word one of the target people's language, so basically they're just hanging out near them and yelling stuff they can't understand. That's not really worthwhile.

Sucrose
Dec 9, 2009

DeusExMachinima posted:

Yeah.

Forcing someone to have contact with you for their own good isn't okay, but I have no legal problem with private individuals such as missionaries hiking around public reserves and exercising their free speech with whomever will listen. It's pretty dumb but it's not the same as "okay we're going to take your children to special schools whether you like it not d/w/i" like they did in Australia. Anyone conducting business like logging or oil prospecting (assuming it's legal) is also justified in shooting the poo poo out of any attacking party that puts lives in danger.

Uncontacted indigenous groups typically live on reservations set aside for them, where it's illegal to trespass. But of course loggers and others often do so anyways.

Liberal_L33t
Apr 9, 2005

by WE B Boo-ourgeois

Your Sledgehammer posted:

A thousand times this. There's an assumption in the OP that bears examination, and it's the assumption that civilized life is objectively better than indigenous/noncivilized life. Not only is that not necessarily the case, but I can actually think of two instances where civilization is the clear loser when measured up against noncivilized lifestyles (which I'd define as any lifestyle that includes hunting/gathering as the primary mode of subsistence):

1. Sustainability. In a little over a century, industrialized society has radically altered Earth's climate, acidified the oceans, left us with only 60 years of viable topsoil remaining, and caused an extinction event on the order of magnitude of asteroid collision. Indigenous lifestyles, on the other hand, have been ecologically stable for hundreds of thousands of years.

2. Mental Health. I know this one sounds ridiculous, but humor me. Anthropologists have shown time and again that mental illness is nearly unheard of in uncivilized peoples. I don't think it is too much of a stretch to say that their lifestyle results in more contentedness, life satisfaction, and just a better perspective on life in general. If you don't believe me that mental illness is incredibly rare among the noncivilized, I'll gladly provide citations. Contrast that with roughly 1 in 5 Americans suffering from some form of mental illness every year.

I know this is from many pages back but I just feel like reiterating that both of these are unmitigated bullshit, including the second point.

Effectronica posted:

People declaring that it's okay to treat uncontacted people as children (which is what paternalism means) provide the strongest example of why compassionate contact is largely impossible- too many people refuse to look at these uncontacted people as fully human.

The experiences and lifestyles of such cultures are starkly limited to the point that cosmopolitan outsiders are fully justified in holding paternalistic attitudes towards them. This is not any fault of theirs, but by the standards of a modern society, such people essentially suffer from a form of socially-reinforced mental illness and should be treated as such.

Effectronica
May 31, 2011
Fallen Rib

Liberal_L33t posted:

I know this is from many pages back but I just feel like reiterating that both of these are unmitigated bullshit, including the second point.


The experiences and lifestyles of such cultures are starkly limited to the point that cosmopolitan outsiders are fully justified in holding paternalistic attitudes towards them. This is not any fault of theirs, but by the standards of a modern society, such people essentially suffer from a form of socially-reinforced mental illness and should be treated as such.

It actually is wrong to treat people as subhuman even if they have mental disorders. Furthermore, I am drat sure I know a lot more than you do, so I can apparently dictate what it is you do, according to your own logic, because you're suffering from a mental illness because of your relative ignorance. You can start by blowing me, and if you use your teeth, I'll knock 'em all out. Get to sucking.

suck my woke dick
Oct 10, 2012

:siren:I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!:siren:

Put this cum-loving slave on ignore immediately!

Effectronica posted:

It actually is wrong to treat people as subhuman even if they have mental disorders. Furthermore, I am drat sure I know a lot more than you do, so I can apparently dictate what it is you do, according to your own logic, because you're suffering from a mental illness because of your relative ignorance. You can start by blowing me, and if you use your teeth, I'll knock 'em all out. Get to sucking.

paternalism != oppress all sub-humans

sweek0
May 22, 2006

Let me fall out the window
With confetti in my hair
Deal out jacks or better
On a blanket by the stairs
I'll tell you all my secrets
But I lie about my past
Are there any statistics on how many people leave these isolated groups and choose to join the rest of society? Is that a realistic option anywhere, and does it happen? Are there programs in place to facilitate the cultural change that it requires?

Your Sledgehammer
May 10, 2010

Don`t fall asleep, you gotta write for THUNDERDOME

Liberal_L33t posted:

I know this is from many pages back but I just feel like reiterating that both of these are unmitigated bullshit, including the second point.

Did you even bother reading your own link? Because it doesn't refute either of the points I made (hell, this section explicitly discusses a decline in overall health and a rise in social divisions as a result of the Agricultural Revolution. But yeah, neither declining health nor a rise in social divisions could possibly influence mental health, so what do I know?).

Not sure how you are planning to argue against my point about sustainability, considering that anyone could confirm it by reading a single shred of scientific research on what is happening to the environment, or by just, I don't know, walking outside and looking around. If you don't understand that our current lifestyle is wildly unsustainable, then I don't know what to tell you.

suck my woke dick
Oct 10, 2012

:siren:I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!:siren:

Put this cum-loving slave on ignore immediately!

Your Sledgehammer posted:

Did you even bother reading your own link? Because it doesn't refute either of the points I made (hell, this section explicitly discusses a decline in overall health and a rise in social divisions as a result of the Agricultural Revolution. But yeah, neither declining health nor a rise in social divisions could possibly influence mental health, so what do I know?).

Not sure how you are planning to argue against my point about sustainability, considering that anyone could confirm it by reading a single shred of scientific research on what is happening to the environment, or by just, I don't know, walking outside and looking around. If you don't understand that our current lifestyle is wildly unsustainable, then I don't know what to tell you.

Hmm you just gave members of a species living in small roving groups with occasional contact eating a varied diet of intermittently no-to-moderate starch/sugar things a way to sit on top of each other by the thousand continuously while munching on grains and wading through pig poo poo? Oh gosh, the incidence of disease initially increased until they adapted to changed conditions, what a shock!

e: we should, however, note that all the peoples that became unhealthy fat sedentary goons with rotten teeth and no body hygiene nonetheless conquered the world while hunter-gatherers are probably in the minority even among the isolated peoples that people itt want to put in nature reserves isolated reservations

suck my woke dick fucked around with this message at 21:07 on Oct 12, 2015

Liberal_L33t
Apr 9, 2005

by WE B Boo-ourgeois

Your Sledgehammer posted:

Did you even bother reading your own link? Because it doesn't refute either of the points I made (hell, this section explicitly discusses a decline in overall health and a rise in social divisions as a result of the Agricultural Revolution. But yeah, neither declining health nor a rise in social divisions could possibly influence mental health, so what do I know?).

Not sure how you are planning to argue against my point about sustainability, considering that anyone could confirm it by reading a single shred of scientific research on what is happening to the environment, or by just, I don't know, walking outside and looking around. If you don't understand that our current lifestyle is wildly unsustainable, then I don't know what to tell you.

The kind of lifestyles you are championing is equally unsustainable for socio-political reasons, which is to say "Existing at the mercy of natural forces and primitive social systems is a living hell that most people will choose to escape from, given the chance." Note that these 'uncontacted societies' are usually only able to maintain control over their members and prevent desertion to modern settlements because of geographical barriers like oceans and forests. Any efforts to return to the nightmarish state of primitivism you idolize would unavoidably resemble the latter stages of Pol Pot's Khmer Rouge purges.

Mofabio
May 15, 2003
(y - mx)*(1/(inf))*(PV/RT)*(2.718)*(V/I)

blowfish posted:

lol someone who believes progress is an ideology and not a descriptor of more people having access to more technologies and institutions that make life more convenient

Those are certainly things that have happened in the last 200 years, yes.

khwarezm
Oct 26, 2010

Deal with it.

blowfish posted:

Hmm you just gave members of a species living in small roving groups with occasional contact eating a varied diet of intermittently no-to-moderate starch/sugar things a way to sit on top of each other by the thousand continuously while munching on grains and wading through pig poo poo? Oh gosh, the incidence of disease initially increased until they adapted to changed conditions, what a shock!

e: we should, however, note that all the peoples that became unhealthy fat sedentary goons with rotten teeth and no body hygiene nonetheless conquered the world while hunter-gatherers are probably in the minority even among the isolated peoples that people itt want to put in nature reserves isolated reservations

I don't really see how how you're arguing against what he's saying though? Are we all agreeing that early agricultural societies probably had a lower quality of life? also its hardly surprising that hunter gatherer groups are a minority, the lifestyle simply can't sustain anywhere near the same number of people that agriculture can, but again that doesn't really say anything about quality of life before the industrial revolution.

Liberal_L33t posted:

The kind of lifestyles you are championing is equally unsustainable for socio-political reasons, which is to say "Existing at the mercy of natural forces and primitive social systems is a living hell that most people will choose to escape from, given the chance." Note that these 'uncontacted societies' are usually only able to maintain control over their members and prevent desertion to modern settlements because of geographical barriers like oceans and forests. Any efforts to return to the nightmarish state of primitivism you idolize would unavoidably resemble the latter stages of Pol Pot's Khmer Rouge purges.

Can I just say something, there is a recent theory that supposedly 'Primitive' peoples that lived on the outskirts of civilization (think Montagnards in Southeast Asia) might not represent some remnant of pre-civilized culture but were actually previous members of said civilized society who hosed off to the mountains or forests to leave behind of the major social or economic problems that more Civilized societies had to deal with, have a lighthearted video on the issue:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyzi9GNZFMU

khwarezm fucked around with this message at 22:33 on Oct 12, 2015

WhitemageofDOOM
Sep 13, 2010

... It's magic. I ain't gotta explain shit.

Your Sledgehammer posted:

Not sure how you are planning to argue against my point about sustainability, considering that anyone could confirm it by reading a single shred of scientific research on what is happening to the environment, or by just, I don't know, walking outside and looking around. If you don't understand that our current lifestyle is wildly unsustainable, then I don't know what to tell you.

There are Seven Billion humans in the world.
That number is not remotely sustainable as hunter gatherers, in fact a million humans isn't sustainable as hunter gatherers.

So, no. Modern society is vastly more sustainable, it has to be, it has to support more people.

1994 Toyota Celica
Sep 11, 2008

by Nyc_Tattoo

blowfish posted:

paternalism != oppress all sub-humans

it does, actually

Your Sledgehammer
May 10, 2010

Don`t fall asleep, you gotta write for THUNDERDOME

WhitemageofDOOM posted:

There are Seven Billion humans in the world.
That number is not remotely sustainable as hunter gatherers, in fact a million humans isn't sustainable as hunter gatherers.

So, no. Modern society is vastly more sustainable, it has to be, it has to support more people.

I don't think you know what sustainable means.

suck my woke dick
Oct 10, 2012

:siren:I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!:siren:

Put this cum-loving slave on ignore immediately!

Your Sledgehammer posted:

I don't think you know what sustainable means.

the point, however, stands:

a hundred thousand hunter gatherers may be more sustainable than seven billion people participating to a greater or lesser extent in a global economy with intensive agriculture and industry, but seven billion people in a global economy with intensive agriculture and industry are less unsustainable than seven billion hunter gatherers

XMNN
Apr 26, 2008
I am incredibly stupid
So assuming we can fix the myriad problems for the rest of the population in the global south, and we can rule out the disease, poverty and exploitation issues you'd anticipate from making contact, how would you actually go about doing it? Would you persist if they clearly didn't want you to, like they attacked the ambassadors or retreated further into the rainforest?

Your Sledgehammer
May 10, 2010

Don`t fall asleep, you gotta write for THUNDERDOME

blowfish posted:

the point, however, stands:

a hundred thousand hunter gatherers may be more sustainable than seven billion people participating to a greater or lesser extent in a global economy with intensive agriculture and industry, but seven billion people in a global economy with intensive agriculture and industry are less unsustainable than seven billion hunter gatherers

That's true, but it is meaningless. We are not discussing a world of seven billion hunter-gatherers, because it is an absurd hypothetical. Let me clarify my point:

A hunter-gatherer lifestyle, which some cultures on Earth still practice today, is sustainable. Part of the reason this is the case is that hunting and gathering can only support maybe a million or so people worldwide (during the many millennia that the lifestyle was dominant), which keeps the human population at a reasonable, non-destructive level. Modern industrial society, on the other hand is unsustainable. Full stop. It remains to be seen whether or not it can possibly be made sustainable (my strong suspicion is that it can't, given the way it has historically progressed). The reasons it is unsustainable are many, including resource depletion, habitat destruction, widespread extinction, climate change, and exponential population growth. The very population levels you are pointing to is part of the reason why it is unsustainable. Seven billion humans is only possible given the Agricultural and Industrial Revolutions.

Do you agree?

OwlFancier
Aug 22, 2013

Your Sledgehammer posted:

That's true, but it is meaningless. We are not discussing a world of seven billion hunter-gatherers, because it is an absurd hypothetical. Let me clarify my point:

A hunter-gatherer lifestyle, which some cultures on Earth still practice today, is sustainable. Part of the reason this is the case is that hunting and gathering can only support maybe a million or so people worldwide (during the many millennia that the lifestyle was dominant), which keeps the human population at a reasonable, non-destructive level. Modern industrial society, on the other hand is unsustainable. Full stop. It remains to be seen whether or not it can possibly be made sustainable (my strong suspicion is that it can't, given the way it has historically progressed). The reasons it is unsustainable are many, including resource depletion, habitat destruction, widespread extinction, climate change, and exponential population growth. The very population levels you are pointing to is part of the reason why it is unsustainable. Seven billion humans is only possible given the Agricultural and Industrial Revolutions.

Do you agree?

It's weird to suggest that hunter-gathering is inherently sustainable because if we all went out with M16s and weed whackers and hunted/gathered the poo poo out of everything around us, it would be pretty hosed pretty quick.

The point about pre-agrarian civilisation is not that it was hunter-gatherer, but that it was bad at hunting and gathering.

Any mode of living can be progressed to the point where our ability to extract from our environment outstrips the environment's ability to replenish itself. This is true of all creatures, actually, any form of life will happily eat itself into extinction if it's able to. Human intelligence means we will always have to consciously limit ourselves if we want to not out compete everything else on the planet into extinction.

Your Sledgehammer
May 10, 2010

Don`t fall asleep, you gotta write for THUNDERDOME

OwlFancier posted:

It's weird to suggest that hunter-gathering is inherently sustainable because if we all went out with M16s and weed whackers and hunted/gathered the poo poo out of everything around us, it would be pretty hosed pretty quick.

The point about pre-agrarian civilisation is not that it was hunter-gatherer, but that it was bad at hunting and gathering.

Any mode of living can be progressed to the point where our ability to extract from our environment outstrips the environment's ability to replenish itself. This is true of all creatures, actually, any form of life will happily eat itself into extinction if it's able to. Human intelligence means we will always have to consciously limit ourselves if we want to not out compete everything else on the planet into extinction.

Dude, you're not getting it. Hunter-gatherers don't use M16s or weed whackers, even the majority of the ones who exist today (there may be some isolated hunter-gatherers in the far North who use modern technology to get by, but that doesn't take away from my overall point). Complex, technological society (and all its accoutrements, like M16s and weed whackers) is only possible through agriculture. If everyone went out and tried to hunt and gather right now, the M16 factories and weed whacker plants would shut down in short order. What you are suggesting is absurd. Let me be clear:

What I AM NOT suggesting is that we should all go be hunter-gatherers right now. That is completely loving bonkers and if you'll read my posts, you'll see that I've never suggested such a thing. All I am doing is comparing sustainable human lifestyles to unsustainable ones. Trying to all be hunter-gatherers now after centuries of technological development would be an instant, catastrophic failure. The OP was about forcibly contacting and potentially "modernizing" uncontacted peoples (or at least giving them the choice). I am saying that is wrong because many of those uncontacted peoples are the last vestiges of a truly sustainable human lifestyle.

Also, sidenote: "Pre-agrarian civilization" is by and large not a thing that exists. I can only think of one example, and it only arose due to very specific environmental reasons and remained quite small.

1994 Toyota Celica
Sep 11, 2008

by Nyc_Tattoo
forcibly subjecting people to life at the bottom rung of modern industrial society is a major dick move y'all

it's not quite as bad as capturing people for sale as slaves to that society, but it's definitely on the same continuum

Nosfereefer
Jun 15, 2011

IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM
What if we were to reframe it as bringing democracy to the Amazon? These poor people have never participated in our most sacred institution, and it is time to remedy that.

Nosfereefer
Jun 15, 2011

IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM
I mean, it's a universal fact that life without liberty is meaningless, and look at these people - they've never even heard of the enlightenment! We are morally obliged to free them from their mental cages.

OwlFancier
Aug 22, 2013

I mean in the sense that they get to enjoy high mortality rates and food scarcity they're pretty sustainable in that the rest of the world is very adept at killing them.

I'm sure they feel much better to know that they should be happy about that.

rudatron
May 31, 2011

by Fluffdaddy

zeal posted:

it does, actually
Not really. If you insist on that understanding, then all authority contains paternalism, and human beings have not yet advanced beyond that sort of stuff. There's no abstract difference between integrating tribal communes and ignoring sovereign citizen stuff - Any social system extends as far as it is able to enforce itself, and no further. The tangible problems of discrimination and disease are very serious, to the point where they're reason enough to scuttle attempts. But assuming you could work around both of them, it's not actually that immoral to integrate.
What's the point of preserving 'the last vestige of a sustainable lifestyle'? Do you think that, if industrial civilization collapses (not a given, it may not be sustainable now but it may in the future, depending on whether you can close some loops), that they're going to have any better of a time surviving than everyone else? No, what's going to happen is a bunch of hicks will come in, shoot them, and then become the new hunter gatherers (when they run out of bullets for hunting).

Unless you want preppers to inherit the earth, just start hoping it all doesn't fall down.

Effectronica
May 31, 2011
Fallen Rib

rudatron posted:

Not really. If you insist on that understanding, then all authority contains paternalism, and human beings have not yet advanced beyond that sort of stuff. There's no abstract difference between integrating tribal communes and ignoring sovereign citizen stuff - Any social system extends as far as it is able to enforce itself, and no further. The tangible problems of discrimination and disease are very serious, to the point where they're reason enough to scuttle attempts. But assuming you could work around both of them, it's not actually that immoral to integrate.

What's the point of preserving 'the last vestige of a sustainable lifestyle'? Do you think that, if industrial civilization collapses (not a given, it may not be sustainable now but it may in the future, depending on whether you can close some loops), that they're going to have any better of a time surviving than everyone else? No, what's going to happen is a bunch of hicks will come in, shoot them, and then become the new hunter gatherers (when they run out of bullets for hunting).

Unless you want preppers to inherit the earth, just start hoping it all doesn't fall down.

Saying that it's impossible to have authority without treating someone as a child says a lot more about your life than anything else, and I hope things improve for you, rudatron.

Rush Limbo
Sep 5, 2005

its with a full house
Preppers are the ones probably least likely to survive the collapse of civilization, given how most are extreme isolationists and xenophobes of the highest order.

Any successful attempt at survival in a post-collapse society is going to be predicated on co-operation and mutual pooling of resources. That kind of falls apart when you have a crazy dude with a gun who wants to shoot and kill anyone who wants to go near their poo poo filled bunker.

Mofabio
May 15, 2003
(y - mx)*(1/(inf))*(PV/RT)*(2.718)*(V/I)
A bit late for Columbus Day, but I do like the story of Magellan meeting Lapu-Lapu:

quote:

At midnight, sixty of us set out armed with corselets and helmets, together with the Christian king, the prince, some of the chief men, and twenty or thirty balanguais. [a type of Filipino boat] We reached Mactan three hours before dawn. The captain did not wish to fight then, but sent a message to the natives to the effect that if they would obey the king of Spain, recognize the Christian king as their sovereign, and pay us our tribute, he would be their friend; but that if they wished otherwise, they should wait to see how our lances wounded. They replied that if we had lances they had lances of bamboo and stakes hardened with fire. They said that in order to induce us to go in search of them; for they had dug certain pit holes filled with spikes between the houses in order that we might fall into them.

It ended about as happily as it could have, because now Magellan's head is in a Filipino village somewhere.

It also puts this thread in perspective: the Conquistadors were offering eternal salvation. What'd the OP offer again?

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woke wedding drone
Jun 1, 2003

by exmarx
Fun Shoe

Mofabio posted:

A bit late for Columbus Day, but I do like the story of Magellan meeting Lapu-Lapu:


It ended about as happily as it could have, because now Magellan's head is in a Filipino village somewhere.

It also puts this thread in perspective: the Conquistadors were offering eternal salvation. What'd the OP offer again?

In time, the smartest of their number will be declared Prime Minister of the forest and poured into a navy blue suit. G20 members will pose for a photo shoot in the traditional garments of his people

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