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Ignatius M. Meen posted:dehydration is a hosed up way to die but lol if you can't laugh at how dumb someone has to be to think that cartoon Santa's approach is the best way in a house without the key. he's getting a darwin award nomination as a consolation prize so it's not all bad!
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Oct 5, 2015 18:22
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ArbitraryC posted:Isn't that how they cleaned chimneys in older times though, just sent small boys that could shimmy the whole way up/down? Really dumb to try it alone admittedly, but I don't think it's quite fair to compare to cartoons. I guess the small living brooms started down and went up the chimney. They weren't stupid, just poor.
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Oct 5, 2015 20:23
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The perfect murder just toss them down a chimney. Whenever theyre found, people will just assume they were idiots who darwin'd themselves somewhere out there is a killer on the loose, stuffing people down chimneys even as we speak
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Oct 5, 2015 20:26
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Zzulu posted:The perfect murder That's ridiculous. Can you meet me on the roof? I have something to show you.
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Oct 5, 2015 20:31
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I guess he'll never be the HEAD of a major corporation!!!
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Oct 5, 2015 20:35
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Nooner posted:I guess he'll never be the HEAD of a major corporation!!! guess you could say.. that kid got smoked
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Oct 5, 2015 20:41
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Concerned Citizen posted:guess you could say.. that kid got smoked it's pretty grating to think about
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Oct 5, 2015 22:25
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I don't understand the "climb down" a chimney plan even if you can be certain you won't get stuck. What is there to climb? Is a chimney not just a big chute from the roof to the floor? Even if you have no problems with obstructions and sizing whatsoever, aren't you just going to slide/fall straight down and break your leg? I mean it's like there are handholds and poo poo. What is the loving plan there?
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Oct 5, 2015 22:33
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Chomp8645 posted:I don't understand the "climb down" a chimney plan even if you can be certain you won't get stuck. What is there to climb? Is a chimney not just a big chute from the roof to the floor? Even if you have no problems with obstructions and sizing whatsoever, aren't you just going to slide/fall straight down and break your leg? I mean it's like there are handholds and poo poo. Were you a really fat kid or something? If you have 2+ walls close enough together you can make friction by pushing against the sides.
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Oct 5, 2015 22:34
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ArbitraryC posted:Were you a really fat kid or something? If you have 2+ walls close enough together you can make friction by pushing against the sides. Yeah as a kid I did that on doorframes and poo poo. But who knows what it's like inside a chimney? What material is it made of? Is it slick or coarse? I don't have a clue and I wouldn't find out if it involves doing so over a 20 ft plus drop. Why would taking the route that involves a long drop if you mess up ever be better than a window, even if you have to smash it.
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Oct 5, 2015 22:39
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ArbitraryC posted:Were you a really fat kid or something? If you have 2+ walls close enough together you can make friction by pushing against the sides. yeah exactly this works going down, so they think they can get out but then they get to the smoke chamber: That Robot posted:so apparently this is how a chimney actually works and they can't climb out of there because it's too wide and overhangs, and they can't fit through the throat to get out. it's the perfect human trap. they just have to sit there and die in a really lovely way for a few days.
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Oct 5, 2015 22:41
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Chomp8645 posted:Yeah as a kid I did that on doorframes and poo poo. But who knows what it's like inside a chimney? What material is it made of? Is it slick or coarse? I don't have a clue and I wouldn't find out if it involves doing so over a 20 ft plus drop. breaking a window makes it very obvious you broke in, if this actually worked then no one would realize he went to the cabin to do drugs
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Oct 5, 2015 22:44
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You know, the Victorians flipped out over the mere possibility of being buried alive to the point they rigged up elaborate bell-pull systems for graves but somehow nobody minded the idea of getting caught in a chimney all that much, even though the latter was far more likely I mean wtf
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Oct 5, 2015 22:59
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Man Dies Wedged Between Oakland Structures After Fleeing From Police
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Oct 5, 2015 23:14
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ANIME IS BLOOD posted:You know, the Victorians flipped out over the mere possibility of being buried alive to the point they rigged up elaborate bell-pull systems for graves but somehow nobody minded the idea of getting caught in a chimney all that much, even though the latter was far more likely I mean wtf well the only people who ever went down them were poor people and children
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Oct 5, 2015 23:17
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coldplay chiptunes posted:Slowly starving to death while not being able to move your body at all would own. The average person can survive 30+ days without food, I myself have gone a week (and lost 10 lbs!) but one can only go a few days without water. He died of dehydration. Fansy fucked around with this message at 23:27 on Oct 5, 2015 |
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Oct 5, 2015 23:19
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starry skies above posted:poo poo, this isn't even funny wrong
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Oct 5, 2015 23:49
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That Robot posted:it turns out there's no way to get down a chimney to the firepit; you cannot safely enter a building that way. Why not just break a window? In for a penny, in for a pound, crimewise
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Oct 5, 2015 23:50
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Fansy posted:He died of dehydration. my guess would be that or exposure. basically outside, surrounded only by bricks, possibly getting rained on, in colorado.
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Oct 5, 2015 23:50
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ArbitraryC posted:Were you a really fat kid or something? If you have 2+ walls close enough together you can make friction by pushing against the sides. TBH a fat kid should have no problem generating friction in a chimney.
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Oct 5, 2015 23:55
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Thank you, natural selection.
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Oct 5, 2015 23:56
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ElGroucho posted:Why not just break a window? In for a penny, in for a pound, crimewise yeah but now instead of a nice cozy cabin you ahve a cabin with a broken window with like bugs and poo poo going in and out
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Oct 6, 2015 00:05
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ElGroucho posted:Why not just break a window? In for a penny, in for a pound, crimewise Kuato posted:what a way to go. mustve been horrible being stuck in the chimney with only ones thoughts for a few days. I'm guessing he second guessed the decision to go down the chimney in particular.
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Oct 6, 2015 00:12
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The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.
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Oct 6, 2015 00:32
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How loving fat was he? - a 1-foot gap should not kill you, it should be the perfect getaway passage
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Oct 6, 2015 00:37
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The best thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so wonderful. It was Christmas Eve. I was 39 years old. My daughter and I were decorating the tree, I didn't have the heart to tell her that no good cheating bastard wasn't coming home tonight. A couple hours went by. She was starting to get suspicious. I called the office and pretended to talk into the phone menu. I took some benzos and pretty much floated through Christmas Day. I called the cops on the 26th and they started looking. I benzoed out for the next week, and apparently forgot to eat. Stupid furnace died, so my daughter goes to light a fire. Long story short, I'm pretty sure my daughter knows what cooked pig smells like.
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Oct 6, 2015 00:43
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posting from inside a chimney. don't send help, i deserve 2 die
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Oct 6, 2015 01:25
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its okay, youve got at least 10 days based on average goon fat content, just hope it rains so its going to be at least 8 days until your bulk recedes enough to allow yourself to move freely within the chimney, so put this on repeat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsJRzoj7ke4 i need you to learn how to do that, because no one is coming for you lol
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Oct 6, 2015 01:43
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Hell Yeah posted:posting from inside a chimney. don't send help, i deserve 2 die 
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Oct 6, 2015 01:45
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Tenzarin posted:Thank you, natural selection. Novo posted:apparently this is more common than i thought One of these people was a PHD. I'm not sure what selection pressure is at work here.
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Oct 6, 2015 01:57
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Nooner posted:I guess he'll never be the HEAD of a major corporation!!! this is a great absurdist meme started by the legendary poster dad gay. so what
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Oct 6, 2015 02:05
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That Robot posted:this is a great absurdist meme started by the legendary poster dad gay. so what its actually taken from the hit mike meyers comedy austin powers international man of msyerty
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Oct 6, 2015 02:53
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aULRhgG_Az8
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Oct 6, 2015 02:58
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do you thin his body got turned into jerky by the woodsmoke and lasted a few extra years before going skeletal?
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Oct 6, 2015 03:01
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Humboldt Squid posted:One of these people was a PHD. I'm not sure what selection pressure is at work here. knowing that it's a bad idea to crawl into tight spaces that you might not be able to get out of
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Oct 6, 2015 03:21
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Humboldt Squid posted:One of these people was a PHD. I'm not sure what selection pressure is at work here. Probably the PHD selection process being too much to deal with.
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Oct 6, 2015 04:12
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Your Dead Gay Son posted:What an awful loving way to die. My thought as well. God drat that's a dark turn for a silly prank.
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Oct 6, 2015 04:14
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Humboldt Squid posted:One of these people was a PHD. I'm not sure what selection pressure is at work here.
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Oct 6, 2015 04:15
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how narrow is a chimney? if its too narrow to even put your arms at your side, you'd have to really cram yourself in to get stuck. any wider, and you could just zig zag your way back up. in rock climbing terms its literally called chimneying (or back and foot). people who die in chimneys must be weak in addition to moronic.
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Oct 6, 2015 04:27
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nomadologique posted:do you thin his body got turned into jerky by the woodsmoke and lasted a few extra years before going skeletal? the cabin was abandoned for three years before he got stuck in its chimney just as ren and stimpy's RCMP song said, "and our bones were bleached in the sun"
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Oct 6, 2015 04:33
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