cjs: i'm 6'9" and 420lbs

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > cjs: i'm 6'9" and 420lbs

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Tayter Swift posted:

_{_if} he loving did it

taters gonna tate

oh hey so this weekend tinydogge ate some floss

he finally pooped it out so yay no more picking apart his turds lookin for floss

we initially tried to get him to puke it up for the first two hours by feeding him hydrogen peroxide

but all that made him do was burp

# ¿ Oct 6, 2015 23:57

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 18:07

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

c tinydogge s: he likes to spend his mornings sunning himself and maybe enjoying a bone

# ¿ Oct 7, 2015 17:19

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Space-Pope posted:

would pet that dog if it walked in on me taking a dump

he is silky and smooth and doesn't shed and i'm juuuust starting to get better about grooming him myself

here he is before i got the clippers (silently ~~begging~~ on the lookout for spare steak pieces)

# ¿ Oct 7, 2015 17:25

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Tayter Swift posted:

tater scratched another goddamned hole in his neck so I put some ail protectors on his back toes and it looks ridiculous

I'll try to get pics tonight

cone of shame time

# ¿ Oct 7, 2015 18:01

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Captain Foo posted:

show the office manager yo stank eye

# ¿ Oct 7, 2015 18:21

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

ArmZ posted:

not the preferred nomenclature dude.

Likening their war instincts to those of "a very advanced clan of yellow apes," German Chancellor Adolf Hitler praised the government and military of Japan.

"I salute you, chinky-dinky rat men, who have been given life by the confused hand of some long-dead pagan deity," he said. "When Germany stands victorious on a conquered Earth, and Aryan supermen wipe out the undesirable mud races one by one, your like will surely survive to be among the last to be exterminated."

# ¿ Oct 7, 2015 21:47

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

theflyingexecutive posted:

poo poo yeah I'm 6 2

i tell people that i'm 6'3" but really that's only w/ shoes on

# ¿ Oct 7, 2015 22:16

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

theflyingexecutive posted:

i'm 6 2 and a half but im not a liar or a child, so i say 6 2

that's the wrong attitude to get the hottest chicks, bro

# ¿ Oct 7, 2015 23:17

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Beast of Bourbon posted:

someone else cheating at MTG

lol your coworkers are nerds

# ¿ Oct 7, 2015 23:30

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Citizen Tayne posted:

Also a shout out to whoever bought my old av back.

hey hey whatup mang

# ¿ Oct 7, 2015 23:57

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

c SV renting s: locked in the fancy apartment stanford is subsidizing for us and talked the landlord into giving us some concessions w/ moving out under like 3 weeks' notice

i'm not entirely certain that my wife isn't some kinda genie to pull this off

now all i hafta do is study for this big seismic design exam and coordinate all of the moving details and handle all of the packing all at the same time b/c she goes on nights next week and we move at the end of the month

ugh

# ¿ Oct 9, 2015 05:34

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

ugh it's gonna suck so bad

one of the guys i work with has taken it 3 times now so this'll be number 4

# ¿ Oct 9, 2015 05:50

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

gazizza my dilznoofuses

# ¿ Oct 9, 2015 18:03

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

TRON JEREMY posted:

high fashion is for runways, not wearing.

# ¿ Oct 9, 2015 18:04

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

A Wheezy Steampunk posted:

getting enough sleep and exercise makes you feel good, op

drinking is better for your fun levels and makes your liver strong

# ¿ Oct 9, 2015 20:41

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

MALE SHOEGAZE posted:

they should sell bracelets at mardi gras that say liverstrong

i'm gonna pitch this to our muses krewe for next year that's great

# ¿ Oct 9, 2015 20:53

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

As a Millennial I posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PB7uszLAHwo

# ¿ Oct 9, 2015 21:29

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Blackula69 posted:

yeah nolan ryan beating the poo poo out of someone 15 years his junior is a classic

lol i just looked it up and ryan had 20 years on him and beat him like a bitch

Ryan stated afterwards it was the same maneuver he used on steers he had to brand on his Texas ranch. Videos of the incident were played that evening throughout the country. While Ventura was ejected, Ryan�who had barely moved from his spot on the mound in the fracas�was allowed to remain in the game.

gatdamn

# ¿ Oct 10, 2015 00:04

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

graph posted:

no there's a post about falling in a hole too

and feeding one a carrot and fingers

and one about trampling itself to death

# ¿ Oct 10, 2015 07:26

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

ask the first one you see if you can hold his gun and then laugh at him when he shows you his flashlight

# ¿ Oct 10, 2015 22:27

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

saturday night muthafukkas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KET11SOC5YA

# ¿ Oct 11, 2015 04:17

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

bump_fn posted:

jerking off or breaking in

i know someone who got busted for peeping on some hs girl

the parents suspected something after they found bricks piled up at her window and called the cops who set up a camera

so this guy finds the camera next time and just turns it around before presumably jackin it again and becoming a sex criminal

when the news reported it they posted the video too it was p great and got posted all over fb

# ¿ Oct 11, 2015 21:13

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

lol it looks like he reoffended immediately after being released

"The other night, he was naked in the street," said Police Chief Jamie Whaley. "Neighbor's dogs were barking, so another neighbor got up and went into the kitchen and looked out the window and saw him standing in the street butt naked. The neighbor opens the ice box to get something to drink and it illuminates him and Mr. Kazmir starts with the Atlas Pose. The only thing he had on was his probation and parole ankle bracelet."

# ¿ Oct 11, 2015 21:54

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Cat Face Joe posted:

lol the very first job I interviewed for out if college turned me down because of a computer based personality test

lmao did you tell it that you lie and steal rarely instead of never

# ¿ Oct 12, 2015 21:55

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

have you ever tried sugar or pcp

# ¿ Oct 12, 2015 22:06

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Panty Saluter posted:

my favorite part of this is the continual arms race that makes even "compact" cars tall and heavy

i can easily park my jeep into most compact car spots

tho i'm p sure that's b/c a lot of the time developers don't meet the "depth" (instead of width) dimensional requirement for standard spaces so they hafta label them

# ¿ Oct 13, 2015 17:11

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Shaggar posted:

I just park in the middle of 2 compact spots so I have extra buffer zone on either side

this is the pro move if you have a nice car

gotta go diagonal

i sometimes wonder if you would piss off more people around here by parking across two normal spots that anybody could use vs one handicapped spot that you clearly are not qualified for

# ¿ Oct 13, 2015 17:15

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

A Wheezy Steampunk posted:

um there are lots of reasons to spend more than $60 on shoes, the first of which is that they often throw in the laces for free

yea skate shoes are p expensive nowadays you're lookin at closer to a hundo for walkin around on a cloud

# ¿ Oct 13, 2015 17:17

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Shaggar posted:

the handicap spot for sure cause that's for old people and other invalids.

yea but most people can't use that spot so onlookers hafta be angry on their behalf

vs directly depriving those people of parking

it would be interesting to study tho i bet you could get away w/ it better in both cases w/ a fancier car, like that study involving cars stopped for too long at intersections

# ¿ Oct 13, 2015 17:19

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Shaggar posted:

handicap spots are there for a reason but compact spots are there because someone measured wrong.

or b/c they just let some dumbass landscape architect design the lot who wanted to shove planters into every place they could in order to justify their meaningless existence

# ¿ Oct 13, 2015 17:20

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Bhodi posted:

this is how your car gets keyed by some rear end in a top hat who's angry about you taking 2 spots

dissuading this kinda behavior is a p good reason to cover your car in violent political bumper stickers and open carry at the liquor store

# ¿ Oct 13, 2015 17:22

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Beast of Bourbon posted:

i once got a "parking in a handicap spot" ticket when I got pulled over for doing a 'legal' you turn, and the cop told me over the loudspeaker to pull over in front of the handicap spot, and then he jumps out and writes me the ticket for parking in the handicap spot.

got out of it by spending 8 hours at court, and there were like 6 other people there for the same thing from the same cop. i bet he got mad bank for figuring out that trick.

lol

my buddy who just moved to SF from louisiana got a ticket for walking outside of the pedestrian crossing markings and had to go to court the day before xmas eve to get it thrown out

he said that the judge laughed about it

# ¿ Oct 13, 2015 17:23

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

keyboard vomit posted:

Lol if you put bumper stickers on your car

i kinda wanna whip up some MORE TAXES bumper stickers

# ¿ Oct 13, 2015 17:25

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

keyboard vomit posted:

I put stickers on my bicycle

# ¿ Oct 13, 2015 17:28

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

if those other six people got out of the ticket then there's decent odds that judge is getting pretty annoyed with that cop for wasting his time with that poo poo.

i remember reading an article a few years ago where a county judge told a local town to knock it off with the petty bullshit "32 in a 30" tickets or he would just automatically find against the town for every contested ticket.

Louisiana has been officially ranked and earned the reputation as one of the top, if not the No. 1., state for "speed traps," which refers to communities where law enforcement officers write higher-than-normal numbers of speeding tickets to motorists passing through the area. About 15 small towns in Louisiana generate more half of their total revenue from speeding ticket fines. Proposed legislation would require those towns to post signs warning drivers they're about to enter a "speed trap."

House Bill 961, sponsored by Rep. Steven Pylant, R-Winnsboro, would designate any municipalities where 50 percent or more of their revenue comes from speeding ticket fines as "speed traps" and require those municipalities to fund and post signs "that shall have blinking lights" labeling the area a "speed trap."

# ¿ Oct 13, 2015 17:33

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

shaggar you gotta get this

# ¿ Oct 13, 2015 17:37

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Shaggar posted:

my sister is a chem e and she says there are more and more mostly female engineering firms because of this so maybe check that out.

female and minority-owned firms also get explicit priority for lotsa contracts

it's a p sw8 deal imo

but yea it's a p big boys' club too

same thing happened in law w/ jews and catholics back in the day which is why our supreme court is now all jewy and catholicked up

# ¿ Oct 13, 2015 20:50

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Panty Saluter posted:

cls: lately i have begun to wonder if i have some sort of math learning disability. like i can look at a new concept (nothing complicated, ohms law for instance), feel like i understand it, try to use it a few minutes later and its like ive never seen it before. this has been a consistent pattern in my life

"learning disability" just means you're stupid hth

# ¿ Oct 13, 2015 20:51

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXdouEujNo4

# ¿ Oct 13, 2015 20:52

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 18:07

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Tusen Takk posted:

grocery shopping is the best part about being an adult

"mm basmati rice"

"mmm spinach ravioli"

"mmmmmm paneer masalaaaaaa"

I have not set foot in a grocery store in years. Nevermore will I bumble through endless confusing aisles like a pack-donkey searching for feed while the smell of rotting flesh fills my nostrils and fluorescent lights sear my eyeballs and sappy love songs torture my ears. Grocery shopping is a multisensory living nightmare. There are services that will make someone else do it for me but I cannot in good conscience force a fellow soul through this gauntlet.

I buy my staple food online like a civilized person. It takes me mere seconds to order enough soylent for a month, and version 2.0 does not require any preparation, so I got rid of my noisy blender. At less than $2.50 / meal it also saves me loads of cash, and I appreciate the use of more soy and less rice, finally bringing a nutritionally optimal PDCAAS score of 1.0 while improving the taste and especially texture. I also think it�s crazy cool that some of the ingredients are made by algae rather than water-guzzling pesticide-spraying farms.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2015 20:55

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