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Season about to start, Toxx time. You gals and guys were throwing your dumb drunk opinions around left and right this offseason. Bet you didn't think anyone was keep track. Lets get this started: tofes posted:I guarantee the Sharks are a playoff team next year and you can VJeff posted:I'm sick of you dumb moron idiots and your doubts of the Oshdog! Jordan7hm posted:(I'll do an EHM sim of the SAS Draft) Tremendous Taste posted:I'll wager that buffalo isn't bottom 5 And in response Ginette Reno posted:If Buffalo finishes out of the bottom 5 I'll buy a Dan Bylsma avatar and wear it for a year JollyPubJerk posted:[Buffalo are] making the playoffs. They have an entire new top 6, an actual coach, a possibly great goaltender (but this isnt requirement), and some great defense, just short on the left side whatis posted:
Woah. RC Cola posted:If the Blackhawks don't win the cup this year I'll buy a jersey of the team that knocks them out of the playoffs, and take a picture of me wearing it doing an impression of whatever players jersey I buy and make it my avatar. If the Hawks miss the playoffs entirely I'll buy a jersey of every team that finished higher than them that also missed the playoffs and do a YouTube video of impersonations. Might need you to firm this one up a bit: .Spec posted:swap Scuderi with Lovejoy (who I feel like I should toxx myself on him making it even to the deadline without getting waved) and I would get on board. Habibi posted:I don't want to spend five dollars or whatever on a Tanguay av (if someone wants to get me one, though, I'd wear it), but I would one hundred percent do the latter and you can TT making dumb bets all over the place. Tremendous Taste posted:I'll toxx bet you [Hammond] puts up average or better numbers this year So above league average at the end of the season? Is there a minimum games played? Overwined posted:For every Ottawa Senator PK Subban injures, I will give USD $1,000 to the Children's Defense Fund. I will give $10,000 if he injures a sports journalist of any stripe. Big money. HK, care to make a judgement call on what qualifies as injured? TIA! Koopa Kid posted:Every player on the Leafs roster will record at least one goal this year. Bernie and Rime Time better start watching old Fatty tapes. VJeff posted:If Brad Richards records a point in his regular season Red Wings debut, I will immediately buy an av of him. And finally, a trend I can really get behind: Austrian mook posted:Alright you little fucks, it's time we cleared some things up. The Anaheim Ducks. You know them, god knows I fuckin know them, but what about them. Three words, THE STANELY CUP. For sure, no doubt, EA sim predicted it, Im predicting it and frankly anyone with anything more than a loving crumpled up brussel sprout in between their ears is predicting it. How will they win? Ryan Getzlaf. The one, the only, the best god drat hockey player on God's great earth. Ive had the visions, I've done the math. Its a done deal. Getzlaf will hoist the cup, again, and theres not a loving thing any one of you fuckers can do to stop it. Why not make it a double? I'll join the fun:  Dallas Stars Best Team in Hockey will make it out of the first round this year. If they fail to do so I will buy an AV of whichever team/player that puts the final nail in. If, like stupid BS last year, they fail to make the playoffs, I'll do the same for whomever eliminates form contention (how I got the awful Buffatar). Additionally, if they miss the playoffs I'll donate  to MSF.
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Oct 7, 2015 21:07
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For what it's worth, if you guys could refrain from literally killing yourselves, that would be appreciated.
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Oct 7, 2015 21:08
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If Kessel doesn't win the Maurice "Rocket" Richard Trophy, I'll get an av of whichever player does If Kessel scores less than 50 goals, I'll donate the difference to MSF
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Oct 7, 2015 21:15
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Vincent Van Goat posted:If Kessel scores less than 50 goals, I'll donate the difference to MSF In single dollars? Because a $9 donation sounds kinda pointless.
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Oct 7, 2015 21:22
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The Coyotes will "earn" (and win) the 1st overall pick this year or I will not complain 1 single time when they are moved out of Glendale. And they are going to move sooner than later.
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Oct 7, 2015 22:28
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ThinkTank posted:In single dollars? Because a $9 donation sounds kinda pointless. Believe me, I'd give more if I could.
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Oct 7, 2015 22:33
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If Connor McDavid does not register 60+ points this season (even if he gets put on IR or sent-down for whatever reason, no excuses) I will change my avatar to something of a Calgary Flames' fan's choosing and will hang onto it until the end of the 2016-17 season.
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Oct 7, 2015 23:24
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oops wrong thread
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Oct 7, 2015 23:55
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So to tighten the toxx if the Hawks miss the playoffs I'll buy a jersey of a player on every team that did finished above them that also missed the playoffs. I will then make a video of me acting like either the player or the team (so if Arizona does better I'll crawl on the ground and try to eat my Pomeranian like a coyote). If they don't win the cup same thing but for the team that knocks them out. And if its the Ducks I'll let Mook choose the player.
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Oct 8, 2015 00:31
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i made two toxxes in addition to the suicide pact: 1) the buffalo sabres will make the playoffs and 2) the boston bruins will miss the playoffs
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Oct 8, 2015 00:45
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RC Cola posted:So to tighten the toxx if the Hawks miss the playoffs I'll buy a jersey of a player on every team that did finished above them that also missed the playoffs. I will then make a video of me acting like either the player or the team (so if Arizona does better I'll crawl on the ground and try to eat my Pomeranian like a coyote). If they don't win the cup same thing but for the team that knocks them out. And if its the Ducks I'll let Mook choose the player. Many, I have never wanted the Coyotes to finish 17th so much ever.
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Oct 8, 2015 01:40
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You may want to sit down for a while. This is a big one. The squares are (a little clarification), top left to bottom right:
For every square that is true, $10 to dans le rue. For every line that is true (diagonals count!) $100 to Dans le Rue. If the whole thing is true, ban me thread and $500 to Dans le rue. I may use Australian Funbux to pay for this - we'll see what the exchange rate is. If NONE of it is true (and I'm expecting at least Semin to be gone by the end of the season), I get a brand new Avatar featuring Michel Therrien as chosen by HAS. If Therrien is no longer the coach, I will get one of Goldblum/Bergevin.
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Oct 8, 2015 06:34
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Schlesische posted:If the whole thing is true, ban me thread and $500 to Dans le rue. Being swept out of the playoffs after not making the playoffs might be a tad difficult, even for the Habs.
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Oct 8, 2015 06:49
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Infidel Castro posted:Being swept out of the playoffs after not making the playoffs might be a tad difficult, even for the Habs. Schlesische posted:
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Oct 8, 2015 07:06
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Schlesische posted:You may want to sit down for a while. This is a big one. Creative. I like it.
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Oct 8, 2015 10:35
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someone make me a punishment?
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Oct 8, 2015 12:49
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Vincent Van Goat posted:Believe me, I'd give more if I could. Sorry didn't mean to sound like a jerk. I'll put my money where my mouth is and say I'll give $1 to MSF for every goal the Canucks and Kessel score combined this year (max $300).
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Oct 8, 2015 14:26
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On the day after the end of the regular season, I shall eat one McDonald's cheeseburger for every game that Andrew Hammond started and either lost or was pulled from for being terrible, and I'll also give ten dollars to Roger's House for every NHL goal scored by any Ottawa Senators player, as long as that player is over the age of 35 and his first name is Chris.
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Oct 8, 2015 17:11
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JollyPubJerk posted:someone make me a punishment? Okay. If Boston misses the playoffs, Aphrodite has to go on a date with you.
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Oct 8, 2015 18:02
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JoelJoel posted:Okay. If Boston misses the playoffs, Aphrodite has to go on a date with you. Why not something less cruel?
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Oct 8, 2015 18:22
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RC Cola posted:Why not something less cruel? Because HK explicitly asked us to refrain from killing ourselves.
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Oct 8, 2015 18:26
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For my Hammond one I'll allow group consensus to dictate the conditions if it's close But you'd better believe I'll stump for him
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Oct 9, 2015 05:55
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i will donate $5 to MSF for each point of difference between the new york rangers and the new york islanders at the end of the regular season. so if they finish 20 points apart, it's $100, et cetera
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Oct 9, 2015 15:54
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If the Bruins make the playoffs I will donate $1 per point earned in the standings to a charity...I don't know which yet, but I would like to do something local here in DC. I am open to suggestions though to anything in DC, Boston, or a nationwide charity that does cool stuff. If the Bruins miss the playoffs, I will donate $0.25 per point earned in the standings, multiplied by how many spots out of a playoff spot they were. Minimum donation of $50 Ex: Say theoretically the Bruins earn 84 points and end up last in the East. That would be 84 x .25 = $21, times seven spots out of the 8th seed, so $147. Like I said, the minimum donation will be $50, so even if they finish with 100 points and only 1 spot out of the playoffs, I'd do $50 instead of $25 per the math I outlined. Additionally, if Montreal sweeps the season series against Boston I will make the above donation, whichever it is, to a charity of HAS' choosing at the end of the season. Donation will be made prior to the end of the playoffs.
Jamwad Hilder fucked around with this message at 05:10 on Oct 11, 2015 |
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Oct 11, 2015 05:08
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if the penguins miss the playoffs i will donate the the combined points total (in USD) of crosby, malkin, and kessel to a yet-undecided charity, in rob scuderi's name if the pens make the playoffs i will donate the combined points total of the top scorer from each team that finishes below the pens in the eastern conference, multiplied by MAF's SV% (again in USD) to an undisclosed charity
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Oct 11, 2015 18:17
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If the Rangers don't make the playoffs: $20 to the USA Hockey Foundation (in hopes of funding future prospects...) If the Rangers make the playoffs: $20 to the Katie Moore Foundation and $20 to the Fund for Public Schools of NYC. + If the Rangers win the cup: $20 to MSG's Garden of Dreams Foundation If the Rangers don't win the cup: $20 to a charity located in the city of the team that eliminates them from the playoffs Edit: will be posting payment proof soon 
WeaponX fucked around with this message at 13:32 on Apr 28, 2016 |
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Oct 12, 2015 20:35
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If the Devils finish bottom five in the league, I get myself a new avatar and donate $50 to a charity of my choice (named at the time). If the Devils get the first draft pick, I will donate $80. If the Devils make the playoffs, I will donate $120. If none of these things happen, I will donate $50 to a charity of the first Rangers fan to respond's choice.
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Oct 14, 2015 03:56
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Brodeurs Nanny posted:If the Devils finish bottom five in the league, I get myself a new avatar and donate $50 to a charity of my choice (named at the time). i am a rangers fan and i would like to do a funny joke here but i would rather $50 dollars go to MSF so that is my choice
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Oct 14, 2015 22:22
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a false posted:i am a rangers fan and i would like to do a funny joke here but i would rather $50 dollars go to MSF so that is my choice MSF = Medecins Sans Frontieres?
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Oct 15, 2015 00:01
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flakeloaf posted:On the day after the end of the regular season, I shall eat one McDonald's cheeseburger for every game that Andrew Hammond started and either lost or was pulled from for being terrible, and I'll also give ten dollars to Roger's House for every NHL goal scored by any Ottawa Senators player, as long as that player is over the age of 35 and his first name is Chris. Flip on this. I will eat a mcdonalds hamburger with 48 hours for every game Hammond wins. At end of season, I will go to the bars owned by the over 35 players name chris, and drink 1 beer for every goal they scored (Central Bierhaus for Neil, Big Rig for Phillips). I will not eat any food at big rig because I always get food poisoning there.
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Oct 15, 2015 00:11
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If the John Tortorella-led Columbus Blue Jackets make the playoffs, I will make a donation to The John and Christine Tortorella Foundation in the amount of points Torts' CBJ earned en route to the post-season. For those not keeping score at home, that would be "in the amount of all of the points the team earned en route to the post-season."
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Oct 25, 2015 05:30
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Schlesische posted:MSF = Medecins Sans Frontieres? oui
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Oct 25, 2015 09:23
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flakeloaf posted:On the day after the end of the regular season, I shall eat one McDonald's cheeseburger for every game that Andrew Hammond started and either lost or was pulled from for being terrible, and I'll also give ten dollars to Roger's House for every NHL goal scored by any Ottawa Senators player, as long as that player is over the age of 35 and his first name is Chris. After the ASB: Thank Christ Hammond's injured because he's already 3-8. Phillips has been hurt all year long and probably won't score at all, so Chris Neil is leading the charge with 20 of my dollars for sick kids. I'm going to end up spending more at the loving restaurant than I will on the charity, which is dumb 
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Feb 1, 2016 04:53
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darkwolf220 posted:The Coyotes will "earn" (and win) the 1st overall pick this year or I will not complain 1 single time when they are moved out of Glendale. And they are going to move sooner than later. Mid season update, it is a good thing that the Coyotes will be moving out of Glendale and to Tempe. No bitching from me.
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Feb 1, 2016 05:15
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on lieu of me actually killing myself or getting banned up to three times, im hoping the thread finds it in their hearts to let me just donate three accounts worth of money (and probably a little more) instead
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Feb 1, 2016 05:32
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Nahh, kill yourself.
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Feb 1, 2016 05:35
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Sabres might escape bottom 5 Hammond started p well and then died So it goes
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Feb 1, 2016 05:45
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whatis posted:on lieu of me actually killing myself or getting banned up to three times, im hoping the thread finds it in their hearts to let me just donate three accounts worth of money (and probably a little more) instead no less than a 1080p video of ritualistic seppuku will satisfy us
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Feb 1, 2016 05:47
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So lets recap.Schlesische posted:The squares are (a little clarification), top left to bottom right:
Schlesische posted:You may want to sit down for a while. This is a big one. If the season ended today and was statistically extrapolated to 82 games for shits and giggles I would owe $310 (three lines, top row and diagonal from top left and also from top right). Awww gently caress. With the Australian Dollar and Canadian dollar being pretty much at parity, I'd pay in AUD. Schlesische fucked around with this message at 06:58 on Feb 1, 2016 |
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Feb 1, 2016 06:55
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ThinkTank posted:Sorry didn't mean to sound like a jerk. I'll put my money where my mouth is and say I'll give $1 to MSF for every goal the Canucks and Kessel score combined this year (max $300). Phil Kessel scored 26 goals, the Vancouver Canucks scored 186 so $212 to MSF it is. 
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Apr 11, 2016 16:43
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