Even a Fungus is better at sex then men

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Even a Fungus is better at sex then men

Dr. Fraiser Chain: May 18, 2004; Redlining my shit posting machine

http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/even-fungus-can-give-woman-orgasm

quote:

Officially discovered back in 2001, John Halliday and Noah Soule were the first to record the effects of a fungus that could instantly induce female orgasm.

Published in the International Journal of Medicinal Mushrooms, Halliday explains that he and his colleague Soule heard of an unusual fungi growing in recent lava flows on the island of Hawaii � a bright orange mushroom which supposedly caused women to suddenly reach climax for no apparent reason.

Intrigued by the concept, the pair headed to the island to see if these fantastical claims are true. For science, of course.

Forming on lava flows 600�1000 years old, the unnamed Dictyophora species was deemed a very intense aphrodisiac when smelled by women � despite, or maybe because, of its �fetid� smell. The pair put the claim to the test by asking volunteers (I wonder how they whittled the number of applicants down?) to take a deep whiff, and recording their arousal levels. The results recorded in the Journal show a significant increase in arousal, with nearly half of the women experiencing spontaneous orgasms. All of the men, on the other hand, claimed it smelled absolutely disgusting.

The pair also described the morphology and chemistry of the fungus, and concluded that the "hormone-like compounds present [...] may have some similarity to human neurotransmitters released during sexual encounters."

A Hawaiian fungus going where you dirty goon fuckers will never go.

# ? Oct 9, 2015 03:39

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 07:28

im pooping!: Nov 17, 2006

so we are fuckers, or we aren't fuckers? which one is it moron?

# ? Oct 9, 2015 03:40

symbolic: Nov 2, 2014

Goodpancakes posted:

http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/even-fungus-can-give-woman-orgasm

A Hawaiian fungus going where you dirty goon fuckers will never go.

at least i don't smell "fetid"

# ? Oct 9, 2015 03:41

Dr. Fraiser Chain: May 18, 2004; Redlining my shit posting machine

im pooping! posted:

so we are fuckers, or we aren't fuckers? which one is it moron?

You can put it in all you want but you certainly aren't taking her anywhere with it

# ? Oct 9, 2015 03:42

Cnut the Great: Mar 30, 2014

how do i make my dick smell like this fungus

# ? Oct 9, 2015 03:43

rezatahs: Jun 9, 2001; by Smythe

Goodpancakes posted:

http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/even-fungus-can-give-woman-orgasm

A Hawaiian fungus going where you dirty goon fuckers will never go.

idk op. i'm a pretty fungi :xd:

# ? Oct 9, 2015 03:44

Macasaurus: Oct 12, 2012

i already have a fetid mushroom OP

# ? Oct 9, 2015 03:46

Excelzior: Jun 24, 2013

somebody bottle this as a cologne

and take all my money

# ? Oct 9, 2015 03:51

The Grimace: Sep 18, 2005; Are you a BigMac of imbeciles!?

Fun Gus gets around

# ? Oct 9, 2015 03:54

GAYS FOR DAYS: Dec 22, 2005; by exmarx

Excelzior posted:

somebody bottle this as a cologne

and take all my money

# ? Oct 9, 2015 03:56

Horniest Manticore: Nov 23, 2013; Hello, you!; Lipstick Apathy

# ? Oct 9, 2015 03:56

Johnny Aztec: Jan 30, 2005; by Hand Knit

Excelzior posted:

somebody bottle this as a cologne

and take all my money

I dunno man. This sort of thing seems like they'd make it restricted, and something sometrhing loss of consent.

# ? Oct 9, 2015 03:57

let it mellow: Jun 1, 2000; Dinosaur Gum

I always give the best orgasm I can have

# ? Oct 9, 2015 04:02

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

i'm just a fun guy w a fungus tho

# ? Oct 9, 2015 04:06

Justin Tyme: Feb 22, 2011; Can't post for 4 hours!

I loving LOVE!!!! SCIENCE!!!!! *drives prius to programming job*

# ? Oct 9, 2015 04:07

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

sounds like a better fungus than my current fungus

# ? Oct 9, 2015 04:12

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

whenever a woman takes off her shoes and says her dogs are barking it's cause her foot fungus is making her cum??? science is fascinating

# ? Oct 9, 2015 04:14

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

also explains the barks that come from the vagina

# ? Oct 9, 2015 04:14

Myron Baloney: Mar 19, 2002; Emitting dimensions are swallowing you

lol if you give a gently caress about women's orgasms, bitches want it they can climb the drat volcano themselves

# ? Oct 9, 2015 04:16

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

Guys, it's a really specific fungus from Hawaii. Not all fungus in general. You're all getting your hopes up and you're doomed to be disappointed.

# ? Oct 9, 2015 04:16

Dial-a-Dog: May 22, 2001

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

Guys, it's a really specific fungus from Hawaii. Not all fungus in general. You're all getting your hopes up and you're doomed to be disappointed.

What if I go to Hawaii and rub my pubes all up on its spores

# ? Oct 9, 2015 04:19

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

Guys, it's a really specific fungus from Hawaii. Not all fungus in general. You're all getting your hopes up and you're doomed to be disappointed.

what are you a loving fungus scientist with a phd in funguses who studies funguses all day

# ? Oct 9, 2015 04:21

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

if so i need to have something looked at

# ? Oct 9, 2015 04:21

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

Enfield posted:

if so i need to have something looked at

ya i got this rash that looks and tastes like cheetoh dust but i'm pretty sure i haven't had cheetohs in quite a wee while

# ? Oct 9, 2015 04:23

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

social vegan posted:

ya i got this rash that looks and tastes like cheetoh dust but i'm pretty sure i haven't had cheetohs in quite a wee while

mines kind of lumpy. i havnt tasted it yet

# ? Oct 9, 2015 04:24

Relin: Oct 6, 2002; You have been a most worthy adversary, but in every game, there are winners and there are losers. And as you know, in this game, losers get robotizicized!

seems odd there hasnt been anything done with this in 14 years...........i wonder why.....................

# ? Oct 9, 2015 04:26

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

Enfield posted:

mines kind of lumpy. i havnt tasted it yet

rub it on bread like the europeans do it a crusty baguette for a classy man

# ? Oct 9, 2015 04:26

Dr. Fraiser Chain: May 18, 2004; Redlining my shit posting machine

Relin posted:

seems odd there hasnt been anything done with this in 14 years...........i wonder why.....................

someone didnt get the invitation

# ? Oct 9, 2015 04:36

Dignity Van Houten: Jul 28, 2006; abcdefghijk
ELLAMENNO-P

The first person to synthesize and market this will be a billionaire

# ? Oct 9, 2015 04:38

frogge: Apr 7, 2006

Myron Baloney posted:

lol if you give a gently caress about women's orgasms, bitches want it they can climb the drat volcano themselves

# ? Oct 9, 2015 05:23

Milk Malk: Sep 17, 2015

iflscience is trash

# ? Oct 9, 2015 05:35

Milk Malk: Sep 17, 2015

proof:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Scholar/comments/1mg55v/request_spontaneous_female_orgasms_triggered_by/
http://www.dl.begellhouse.com/download/article/6f3ed2921c9f3802/IJM%200302-3%20(162).pdf

# ? Oct 9, 2015 05:35

Cowman: Feb 14, 2006; Beware the Cow

What would happen if someone released this mushroom in the middle of a college lecture?

# ? Oct 9, 2015 05:40

glowstick party tonight: Oct 4, 2003; by zen death robot

i have athletes foot how do i treat it

# ? Oct 9, 2015 05:43

ANIME IS BLOOD: Sep 4, 2008; by zen death robot

Cut off your foot

# ? Oct 9, 2015 05:53

Flynn Taggart: Jun 14, 2006

I am better at sex than some cray cray mushroom

# ? Oct 9, 2015 05:53

Topographic Nap: Apr 22, 2007

Milk Malk posted:

proof:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Scholar/comments/1mg55v/request_spontaneous_female_orgasms_triggered_by/
http://www.dl.begellhouse.com/download/article/6f3ed2921c9f3802/IJM%200302-3%20(162).pdf

Next Laboratories and Aloha Medicinals sounds like a lovely supplement company. They may have considered selling this as an aphrodisiac to the next generation of Bill Cosbys. Is a full scan available ?