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Falconier111
Jul 18, 2012

S T A R M E T A L C A S T E
Good morning, and welcome to Let’s Observe Crusader Kings 2: Shattered World!

For those few who don’t already know CK2, it’s a game of high culture and low cunning where you play a feudal lord of the Middle Ages; in between trying to keep powerful neighbors, scheming vassals, and your own immediate family from killing your character, you expand your dynasty across a map ranging from Iceland to Sri Lanka. Much has already been said about how exactly CK2 works, so I’m not going to waste words here – if you want to learn what the gently caress a Demesne is, hit up Kersch’s excellent informative LP. Instead, I’ll tell you how this LP’ll go down in this space.



The year is 769. Charlemagne is poised to forge the largest empire western Europe has seen since Rome, the Abbasid Caliphate is at its height, India is divided between several rising kingdoms, and a sleeping giant in the north is about to wake, changing the world forever.

This is not the game we will play.



This is the game we will play. The Shattered World mod breaks every country in the world into its component counties and gives the thousands of now-independent rulers the tools they need to conquer their neighbors. I plan to show off SW’s various quirks and products, likely a fun task because mod is famous for producing truly weird versions of history. Some of the poo poo I’ve seen;

  • An Andalusian Catholic king uniting the Iberian peninsula and his descendants conquering their way through North Africa; the kingdom’s ruler when I stopped playing that game was Badshah Muhammad IV the Saint, papal controller
  • The Zealots somehow forming despite their spawning conditions not being fulfilled, then conquering and converting Ethiopia to Judaism
  • Vikings conquering Venice and founding an ethnically and religiously Norse republic
  • A megakhanate taking over everything from Mongolia to Poland and converting to Fraticellianism, then Buddhism, then finally Orthodox Christianity before gradually fragmenting into settled kingdoms
  • The Anglo-Saxon Empire of Britannia inheriting the Kingdom of Middle Francia, forming the Holy Roman Empire with its capital in London
  • A Germanic pagan inheriting the Catholic Duchy of Deheubarth and establishing a remarkably peaceful state, lasting without waging any kind of war for over a century
  • A Tengri theocracy reforming the faith
  • A Khazar adventurer conquering Brittany and instituting a Tengri duchy lasting three centuries
  • One dynasty, between half a dozen warring kingdoms, controlling half of India (sounds awfully familiar :v:)
  • A group of Saxons making their way down to West Africa, converting to the local religion and marrying into local nobility, migrating back north and converting to Christianity, marrying into the royal line of culturally Saxon Denmark (centered in Germany), and producing several black African Saxon Catholic Danish German kings
  • Everpresent Kingdoms of Suomi

Even in a game that regularly produces images like this, these are unusual.

Those of you familiar with the mod have already realized the problem with LPing Shattered World, namely that a good player can break the game wide open with any ruler on any start date; no AI can expand as fast as a player if there’s nothing around to brake them. I am not a good player – my preferred style of play is pounding my fists on the keyboard while hooting – but even I can go from petty Persian count to Achaemenid Emperor in 400 years flat. So that’s off the table.

Instead, I’m going to turn on Observer Mode, using a console command to let the game chug along without player interference. Every few decades or so, I will check in on our little ant farm and see how things are developing; major historical developments of the recent past will be analyzed, dynasties will be examined, wars will be explored, and General Weird poo poo will be pointed out. The first few posts will cover more ground than the later ones while the first duchies develop, but as the game goes on, expect time intervals to get shorter as poo poo gets realer. It’s going to be a few updates before you get to see the Zoroastrians launch a Great Holy War against Portugal.

I have all the primary DLC (except for Sunset Invasion because historical accuracy is king :colbert:), therefore we will begin in 769; I also have the Blob Exporter mod installed in case I’m masochistic enough to continue this game in EUIV. As for updating schedule, I’m not sure how that’s going to work. I’m currently the very definition of NEET, but if, God forbid, I get a job, expect posts to slow down. I’m expecting about one post a week, maybe more, hopefully not less.

Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 20:01 on Oct 10, 2015

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Falconier111
Jul 18, 2012

S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

quote:

You, O Father, brought down upon the wicked,/
the Pope and the landlords, the fonts of twisted faith;/
You sent upon them the fruits of earthly pleasure/
A plague to make them suffer, those men who turned aside.../
(pause)
But you, Son of God, made the case before the Father/
That some should be spared from the sickle of His wrath;/
And so, of the living, those ruling over others/
Alone fell to his sickle, aside their families.../

- The Revered Paulinus, co-founder of the Sabotians, circa 800 AD.

PopeUmberto3 posted:

RumSrbja posted:

its fake, fuckig sheepel. Nobody died in 769, there's no proof
Then where the hell did everybody go? Everyone, everyone from Tobol to Timbuktu talks abot the Noble Plague. Everyone reports the boils and poo poo, everyone's king died, their high priests died, right down to the loving landlords. That's hundreds of thousands of people in places that had no contact with each other! gently caress, we even have the mass graves and the people in them were better fed then other burials. If it's fake then where did they come from?



This is the map at game start with SW installed. It might not be clear because of color overlap, but every county is independent. Every count/chieftain/marzoban/sheik/thakur is settled and government-wise similar to their neighbors (whether feudal, iqta, or tribal) with a few exceptions; Venice and Genoa are republics, there are a few nomadic governments in the steppes, and a half-dozen or so prince-bishops rule counties in Francia. The Papacy is around and the Pope, like all other rulers in SW, is randomly generated on game start; however, the Papacy itself functions largely as normal. Every spawned ruler has, instead of a culturally appropriate surname, the name of their county as their dynasty. It… looks awkward, to say the least, especially when compared to the more accurate names spawned later on. Anyway, our first check-in date is 816, fifty years after game start. Let’s get started, shall we?


:siren:BREAKING NEWS:siren:

In this section, we’ll take a look at recent developments in world affairs, examining wars, revolutions, conversions, and generally who’s hot and who’s not.



Speaking of not hot, the steppes step up to the plate first. As impressive as many of these states look, they’re tribal with Gavelkind inheritance; many of these are going to break up as their first- or second-generation rulers split their territories between several sons. Though you can’t see it and I’m too lazy to bother screencapping it, despite a few provinces in the region starting under nomadic governments, they’ve all been dogpiled into oblivion by their neighbors; the pattern for nomads in SW is for them to conquer a tribal neighbor or two easily, only for everyone around them to wisen up and pounce on their slightly-weakened horde. If a nomadic state survives, they usually end up completely dominating the steppes by virtue of horse tsunami, but we won’t be seeing that here until the Mongols come.



You want a place that’s burning hot? Try Genoa. This was a screenshot taken 20 years after game start, when it was the largest extant realm by about 25%. Good Duke Ansfrid there is the closest thing this world has to a superhero; I’ve never, absolutely never seen a character spawn with stats that high in Shattered World. Motherfucker octupled his territory in twenty years, something generally only players can pull off. His son isn’t quite as good as he was, with 19 Martial and an obsession with meddling in far-off wars between German lordlings, though he’s still added a few counties to his holdings. But it isn’t just the Duke expanding.



Here we see the Genoese counts of Parma and Modena competing for Cremona, showing off one of SW’s trademark elements; vassals obliterating their non-vassal neighbors. In CK2 vassals of large realms, protected from outside attack by the manpower of their lord and unafraid of invasion by opportunistic neighbors, eat OPMs (one province minors, for those new) like particularly peasant-ridden candy. In a world that consists entirely of OPMs, these vassals often balloon, sometimes faster than their overlords; CW realms formed in the early game have a tendency to implode spectacularly later on when once a couple dukes can muster larger levies than their king, leaving :barf: borders as the realm splits.
Fair warning; the borders in SW tend to be very :barf:. I’ve seen everything from independent lords owning half-a-dozen counties in a long line to kingdoms with dozens of provinces, none of which touch each other. The concept of “pretty borders” died in 769.



We have our :toot:first kingdom:toot:, the Glorious Kingdom of Srbja, Fourth Rome! It was founded by the enterprising Count of Varuna in the south of the kingdom near the beginning of the game; granted, de jure Serbia has a grand total of 5 counties, but hey. Naturally, the good count was quickly usurped by the brother of the Chief of Nikopolis to the north, who was himself overthrown and absorbed by the Count of Constantia. At the moment, Serbia is gradually expanding and its king is happy to spend his time stuffing his face with caviar and only the finest skembici (gluttonous, greedy). For some reason every game I’ve played has ended up with a South Slavic superpower ruling the Balkans, usually Croatia; maybe this time we’ll see Serbia take its place.



The Netherlands in Shattered World tend to end up conquered piecemeal by Norse raiders; in this game, the region is just as ravaged as usual. At the time I took this screenshot, Brugge, Ghent, Yperen, and Westfriesland were all ruled by a Norseman named Oddr Naumadal, a Norse theologian (was that even a thing?) and Petty King of Flanders. Norse-Dutch states tend either to convert to Christianity or be overthrown later on, though the Naumadals seem unusually successful. For now.


:siren:KONQUEROR KORNER:siren:

In this section, we’ll look the most important states in the game, going from smallest to biggest.



Starting at the bottom with six counties apiece, Cordoba and Navarra are both rapidly expanding and primed to face off for control over Iberia. Cordoba is Visigothic but Muslim while Navarra is Catholic but Basque; neither of them line up to the dominant Visigothic/Christian population of the peninsula, so it’s a toss-up how well either will manage to stay afloat. I’m betting against Cordoba because its ruler Peter Cordoba is, despite his great military skill… Decadent with a capital D (68%). Given the way Decadence mechanics work with a Decadent dynasty head, the Cordobas likely aren’t long for this world



Next up on the list are the rival/sister Duchies of Bavaria and Tyrol (divided by the Danube, though Bavaria has two provinces on the other side). Though they’re struggling for power and influence in southern Germany, they’ve had mostly peaceful relations over the years. Unfortunately Bavaria may be about to fall under the control of heretics, and this is a Big Deal. Why is it a Big Deal? Good question!



The Kingdom of Mercia’s borders are a little confusing, so I’ve highlighted them here (it also includes Oxford and Wiltshire under a different title, but I can’t find a way to show them both so deal :colbert:). Weighing in at 8 provinces, Mercia has enough firepower to potentially make a bid for King of England if lead by an aggressive warlord. Unfortunately for the kingdom, the current King Peter Warwick (I thought England was Anglo-Saxon at this point?) is perfectly happy to sit and count his :20bux: and his undisputed heir Eastmund (better) has all the diplomatic sense of a blobfish. RIP, England to be.



I rarely play in the area, but Chitrakut’s success stands out with eight counties, making it by far the largest realm in India. Despite being a huge dick (wroth, greedy, and deceitful), the raj’s first raja did all the expansion you see here before stress killed him. The raj here was his son, an unremarkable, likely passive-aggressive douchebag who reigned a decade and then died horribly of smallpox. A few of you might ask why he’s the one in the screenshot and not his far cooler dad or more relevant son. The answer is I took the wrong screenshot and I’m not taking the 20 minutes it takes for CK2 to load up on my computer to retake a single screenshot. As you may have guessed, I have the slothful trait.



Remember how I said all SW games seem to end up with Finland unified by locals? Well, here you go.
There isn’t much of importance going on in Kola at the moment; it dominates its neighbors, is internally peaceful, and is currently ruled by a skillful diplomat with little interest in expanding. The big issues in Kola are twofold: first, Aggi has enough territory to declare himself King of Suomi; second, his inheritance will otherwise be split up between his sons, sinking the possibility of unification. A successful crowning could make Aggi the most powerful ruler in the known world.

Serbia (I’m not posting a new screenshot because it hasn’t changed since earlier in the update) sits comfortably at third place with 10 counties. The kingdom is currently the most stable large state in the game, with its King Prijzeda (how the hell do you pronounce that) Nikopolis and his heir Dan (better) both excellent diplomats. Problem is, neither of them have any inclination to expand their domain, and they’re in danger aggressive neighbors eclipsing them and smashing them flat.



Second on the list is the hilariously-named King Hrafn of Flanders, weighing in at an impressive 11 provinces. Now, it’s worth noting that Viking realms in SW tend to be pretty flash-in-the-pan, usually conquering a half-dozen provinces and lasting a couple generations before their rulers get bored and either convert or go on vacation (are overthrown). Hrafn(:lol:)’s kingdom might turn out to be the exception; not only does he have enough provinces to form the Kingdom of Frisia (making him an actual king and his realm less likely to dissolve into squabbling rivals), but Brugge and Sticht have actually flipped to Norse/Germanic to emulate their conquerors, something that almost never happens in SW. Of course, that may have more to do with Catholicism’s current woes, but we’ll get to those in due time.



And at the top is our good friend Genoa, clocking in at 12 provinces as the largest realm in the known world. Duke Theodelap himself is an able ruler and excellent commander, and few regional powers can stand against him. He’s currently five counties away from forming the Kingdom of Italy, his vassals love him, his military is strong, and he still has a decade or more to go on the throne. He is the most prestigious person alive and one of the most pious.

His dick is so big.

Special callout to the Papal state in the center-right, with a respectable 4 provinces and a substantial army; pretty good, considering how :kingsley: Catholicism is right now. But what could possibly threaten a faith as powerful and pervasive as Catholicism? Is it the Muslims? Vikings? Aztecs?



:ms:

In SW, with the only religious head in the game at start and no large kingdoms to suppress heresy or protect holy sites, Catholicism lives and dies on the prestige and piety of the Pope. A good Pope can convert pagan realms and kick off crusades early, while a bad one leads to heresy across Western Europe. Naturally, the Pope spawned at game start this was a horrible enough person to get Wicked Priest within a year, and his first lasting successor had Impaler and the sobriquet “the Cruel” before entering office. As you can see in the screenshot, the One True Faith now has 0 Moral Authority and would have considerably less if the game allowed it. It’s a shame; the current Pope Martinus is actually a pretty nice guy (kind, temperate, and Poet), but there’s little he can do. I’ve never seen Catholicism get completely displaced by a heresy in SW, but I’ve seen it come drat close – in one game, the Fraticelli actually outnumbered Catholics for almost a decade before they were brought back under control. I mentioned earlier that heretics taking over Bavaria is important. Why? If Bavaria falls, it’ll be the first large heretical state in Western Europe, and it neighbors countless small Catholic counties. A successful heretical Bavaria could hasten the demise of the Catholic Church.


:siren:REQUIESCAT IN PARTE:siren:

In this section, we’ll take a look at realms gone by; those who, however high they rose and mighty they were, however beautiful their culture and magnificent their court, are currently :rip:.



Republics tend not to last very long in SW; Genoa, for instance, quickly fell to our friend Ansfrid and Amalfi, a merchant republic in vanilla, doesn’t have enough territory in SW to form a duchy and therefore can’t trade. Venice here was the last to fall; I’m not sure if the peasants or heretics got to it first, but it’s currently ruled by a peasant rebel. With it falls the last trading republic in the game, since others will likely never arise. :byewhore:


And so ends the first update. If you have advice, suggestions, or constructive criticism to give me for the LP, fire away, just keep it civil. :wave:

Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 05:37 on Oct 12, 2015

AtomikKrab
Jul 17, 2010

Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

I shall observe this.

Grizzwold
Jan 27, 2012

Posters off the pork bow!
The only thing that comes to mind right now is that you should get a better image host than photobucket.

Falconier111
Jul 18, 2012

S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

Grizzwold posted:

The only thing that comes to mind right now is that you should get a better image host than photobucket.

Do you have any suggestions? I'm no expert in the field of image uploading.

Polyseme
Sep 6, 2009

GROUCH DIVISION

Falconier111 posted:

Do you have any suggestions? I'm no expert in the field of image uploading.

http://lpix.org/ comes to mind.

mcclay
Jul 8, 2013

Oh dear oh gosh oh darn
Soiled Meat
One suggest I have is that you might want to pull a Old Men Telling Stories LP and focus on one country for a few updates. When it either it explodes or becomes boring to watch you switch over.

Falconier111
Jul 18, 2012

S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

Done. I'll start switching the images out tomorrow.

mcclay posted:

One suggest I have is that you might want to pull a Old Men Telling Stories LP and focus on one country for a few updates. When it either it explodes or becomes boring to watch you switch over.

That is a good idea and I'll try to implement it; however, I find fiction harder to write than exposition and would burn myself out if I did it every post. As a compromise, I'll insert short in-universe passages in appropriate places, building on notable characters and events as they pop up. I already know what I'll put in the first update.

S w a y z e
Mar 19, 2007

f l a p

This looks cool, I'll keep checking up on it. I'd love to see Catholicism get displaced and all the craziness that would cause.

mcclay
Jul 8, 2013

Oh dear oh gosh oh darn
Soiled Meat
Is the SW world supposed to be this choatic and heretic filled? Because in my game few big realms and formed and there are minuscule amount of heretics.

sheep-dodger
Feb 21, 2013

This looks interesting, I'll be following.

Falconier111 posted:



The year is 769. Charlemagne is poised to forge the largest empire western Europe has seen since Rome, the Abbasid Caliphate is at its height, India is divided between several rising kingdoms, and a sleeping giant in the north is about to wake, changing the world forever.
That's not 769, I'm wise to your tricks! :argh:

The first image in the second post breaks tables pretty fiercely, you might want to timg that one.

Tafferling
Oct 22, 2008

DOOT DOOT
ALL ABOARD THE ISS POLOKONZERVA
This will be awesome to watch, this mod is wonderful but I can only manage to follow my own clusterfuck of a family per game.

Falconier111
Jul 18, 2012

S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

sheep-dodger posted:

This looks interesting, I'll be following.

That's not 769, I'm wise to your tricks! :argh:

The first image in the second post breaks tables pretty fiercely, you might want to timg that one.

Both of those are related to uploading issues. Fixin' now.

Edit: I don't know what the gently caress I'm doing and got sick of resizing pics, so I just timg'd them all so there. I'm new at writing LPs, can you tell? :negative:

Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 20:09 on Oct 10, 2015

sheep-dodger
Feb 21, 2013

Falconier111 posted:

Both of those are related to uploading issues. Fixin' now.

Edit: I don't know what the gently caress I'm doing and got sick of resizing pics, so I just timg'd them all so there. I'm new at writing LPs, can you tell? :negative:
Generally you shouldn't timg everything, since it's annoying for most readers to have to click each and every image, just timging the first picture in the second post should be enough, for me that was the only one that broke tables.
And don't worry, it's a learning experience for everyone, you are doing well. :)

Falconier111
Jul 18, 2012

S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

mcclay posted:

Is the SW world supposed to be this choatic and heretic filled? Because in my game few big realms and formed and there are minuscule amount of heretics.

As far as realms go, eventually the world does coalesce into a few large powerblocks, but it takes two or three centuries (at least for me) until they stabilize. As far as heresy goes, it basically comes down to the first few Popes. If they aren't huge assholes, then Christendom will hang together - heretics will pop up, but in general they're little more than target practice for their neighbors. If the first couple Popes are bad, well...




P.S. The next update is coming along a lot faster than I expected; I won't post an ETA, but it'll be less than a week.

Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 05:42 on Oct 12, 2015

Kayten
Jan 10, 2012

The tiniest of Tims!
Sweet, I'm liking this idea, will follow it.

How likely are empires to be formed in Shattered World?

Falconier111
Jul 18, 2012

S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

Kayten posted:

Sweet, I'm liking this idea, will follow it.

How likely are empires to be formed in Shattered World?

Very unlikely, but not impossible. In my dozen or so games, I've seen an empire formed by the AI once; the Empire of Hispania I mentioned in the OP. All it takes is dominance of a specific geographical area, something the AI is largely incapable of. It can happen though!

Anyway, I'm sorry that the update is later than I said it would be. It's way too long, that's the problem; it's less that I bit off more than I could chew and more that I tried to eat an entire horse (Hahaha, it's a joke! Get it? Hahahahaaaaa... :suicide:).

It should be up later today.

Falconier111
Jul 18, 2012

S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

quote:

Perhaps five hundred Aequatorians were gathered at the gates when Duke Francis led us in a final prayer. I do not recall precisely what he said, for my memory is lacking in my old age, but he told us that the Aequatorians had rejected the Pope and therefore God, that whatever the Church’s sins it was vile perfidy to betray it, that God was on our side, and that just as our fathers had driven off the Saxon raiders from Thuringen, we would drive off these heretics. He lied.

- Gebhard Ulm, early Aequatorian diplomat and theologian





:siren:BREAKING NEWS:siren:





Around the world, large realms are coming together; in Scandinavia, outside of Suomi-to-be, the two major ones are Norrland with 7 provinces and Nidaros with 12 (:stare). Norrland is ruled by Torfinn “the Cruel” Halsingland, an aging warrior who is also bugfuck crazy (Possessed), but Norrland is a sideshow; the real place to watch is Nidaros, whose Jarl, Fredrik Viken, is respected, well-liked, diplomatic, and a mere 29 years old. With a Martial of 1 he’s unlikely to expand further, but he doesn’t need to since he already owns ¾ of Norway. Will he form the first large kingdom in the game? fakeedit: No he doesn't!




(Yeah, uh, I lost the original image! Take this smaller version instead.)

In related news, our first big Malian state has formed! It owns seven counties! Its rulers are ethnically Berber! It has West African religion, though, so it still counts. Mali is one of the few regions in Shattered World that are usually unified, and unification in West Africa tends to come after only a century or two. Like all good Malian states, Taghaza uses Elective Gavelkind Succession, which allowed H’emmu the Wise there onto the throne – and he deserves it, just look at those stats. He has a huge leg up on his neighbors, most of whom have two provinces at best, and he’s well-positioned to make progress towards unification.

…Aaaand I wrote that too soon. H’emmu unwisely lost his legs under a fallen camel (maimed, Desert Expert) and died three years after the above, splitting his realm between his two sons. A shame, since he’d conquered five more provinces in that time. Sleep well, sweet High Chieftain, and flights of whatever the West African equivalent of an angel is sing thee sweetly to thy rest :smith:.

(fakeedit: one of them died and inherited the other, reunifying the state!)





RIP Bavaria, fallen to rebels of all stripes circa 822. That Danube-crossing state to the right of old Bavaria is the County of Passau, a small realm cobbled together from the ruins of Bavaria by one Thierry Passau; while his state is peaceful for now, he rules over a rowdy Waldensian Sabotian majority used to getting their way from previous rebel rulers. Nurnburg in the middle there is owned by Tyrol, while Ulm is the last holdout of the duchy under the aging Joscelin Wurttemberg. Everyone else between Nurnberg and the Rhine is Lollard Aequatorian except for poor Duke Francis of Thuringia, who isn’t long for this world.

Tyrol, on the other hand, is prospering and expanding despite a Sabotian infestation in their central provinces and a few Aequatorians in the northwest. At time of screenshot they hold 11 provinces, boosting them to among the more powerful states in Europe; in addition, they’re allied with Genoa, though I’m not sure how, forming a nice, big power bloc. Unfortunately the Duke seems to have bitten more off than he can chew by holy warring the Lollards in Wurttemberg, but we’ll see how that develops.





The Serbs are –

:crossarms:

The Bulgarians? Let me check the kingdom’s chronicle to see what happened he-



:cripes:

Well, it looks like Chronicles don’t work right in SW and I didn’t bother to check before I started the LP! Now I have to dig through my saves to find out what happened! Great job, me! :downsbravo:

So it turns out King Prijzeda from the last update formed the Kingdom of Bulgaria as well and passed the two royal titles to his kids; his youngest son also-Prijzeda got two provinces in de jure-Serbia and his oldest son Dan got everything else. Also-Prijzeda, uh, he didn’t last very long. Since then Dan has been expanding steadily, advancing up the Adriatic coast and into Greece. He isn’t much for warfare (3 martial), but his vassals have been doing the expansion for him while he takes care of the realm (16 Diplomacy, 9 Stewardship, Business focus). His only roadblocks are in Constantia and Wallachia to the north, but neither have the awesome might necessary to take on New Great Bulgaria :steppewolf: (requires archives).





Speaking of which, we have our second kingdom, Alania!. Big tribal states have a nasty habit of dividing on the death of AI rulers stupid enough to claim equal-level titles – in other words, all AI rulers. In SW, with few neighbors of similar status, a tribal kingdom has a huge advantage over its neighbors; as their neighbors and rivals split, the kingdom consumes the remnants and breaks upcoming rivals wherever they appear. For instance, the current King Kubal, the most morally decent king I’ve seen yet (kind, patient, temperate), has are sons who terrible people unworthy of ruling anything. But since only his eldest gets the throne, instead of three people running their realms into the ground, there’ll be only one :v:. Revolts may dissolve Alania in the future – one almost did just before I took this pic – but for now they’re the kings of the steppes (:mmhmm:).





And our third kingdom, Wales Brythoniaid!! By the way, the reason King Gwerstan’s called “the Lecher” is because… well… see the three lovers in the bottom right? He has a bastard child by each of them, and I’ve found two others just by looking through his court with charinfo turned on (his wife has an impressive -400 relationship penalty with him over his cheating). Considering his pedigree, there’s likely to be more married away in other courts or dead. He seems to be little more than a marginally competent figurehead for highly competent royal council, which unfortunately for him includes his wife as spymaster (:commissar:); and since Brythoniaid is surrounded by weak and wartorn earldoms and petty kingdoms, they likely won’t have too hard a time keeping the realm together.



:siren:KONQUEROR KORNER:siren:





Coming in at 10th place is the Haruppswara Raj, sitting comfortably at 27 holdings. Raja Harshadeva, despite his indulgence in worldly sins (wroth, lustful, gluttonous) is a skilled military leader backed up by an almost-as-skilled marshall. Haruppswara is the predominant Buddhist state in India, though several neighbors in this picture (Tripuri, Midnapore, and Kamarupanagara (christ) to the northeast) are expanding as fast as he is and might challenge Haruppswara long-term; for now, the Raja has a quite-competent heir and vassals that by-and-large like him. Fun fact: Harshadeva is the overlord of the only theocracy in India, the Monastery of Gaya (in the middle of the Rothas border).





quote:

And so great Lord Khosrau, prince of the Kurds,
The servant of God and friend to the righteous,
Stood next to the river and traded harsh words;
Muaddam the Proud, who called himself pious,
Insulted the history of the proud East,
Whose old Kings of Kings ruled greatest and least,
But Khosrau the Bold praised Goshtasb the Wise
And through his great virtue undid Arab lies…

- From the Satrapnameh of Salman Luristan, circa 1000 A.D.

In 9th place is Luristan Satrapy, one of the two dominant Muslim powers with their 27 holdings. Goshtasb here, despite being a loving murderer, is well-liked by his vassals and can pull together around 4,200 troops from around his realm; he also has allies loving everywhere in the Arab world between his brothers- and sons-in-law. He likely intends to use them to counter his larger neighbor, Baghdad (which we’ll get to later in the list). The Satrapy’s far and away the dominant military power in the region for reasons I honestly can’t determine; despite Baghdad being bigger and Bira (the green state in the upper left, not too prominent currently) being richer, Goshtasb has an army larger than both put together :shrug:. If the Satrap and his heirs can keep it together, they’re a shoo-in for regional hegemon.



8th is Alania (28 holdings); it hasn’t changed since we last saw it, so I’m not going to waste your bandwidth repeating myself.





gently caress these guys for making me hunt down all their provinces :argh:. I’ve looked through the saves and still can’t find what made the Kalpi Raj expand in this patchwork way; near as I can tell, they’re the Hapsburgs of Northern India and have either inherited those counties or put relatives on their thrones. The only thing I’m going to tell you about them that they have 31 holdings, because they don’t deserve anything more.





Down to 35 holdings and counting, despite its status as 6th largest state Genoa isn’t doing so well. I think it has something to do with the fact that Duke Arichis is an openly impious dickhole (envious, greedy, -70 Piety) in an Early Medieval Europe where Catholics are struggling to hold to their faith and heretics are eager to prove them wrong. Also, because he’s loving lots of dudes (Homosexual, Seduction Focus, and several previous lovers, most of whom were exposed quickly). Then why hasn’t Genoa hasn’t been carved up between its many, many enemies already? There are so many of them occupying so much Genoese territory that none of them have enough warscore to declare victory. Presumably some will bow out eventually and let the rest split the spoils. Poor Genoa isn’t long for this world. Farewell, old friend. The dream of a united Italy dies with you.





So uh I guess we know who’s leading in Iberia.

Witiza there is very committed to bangin'; one of his fourteen children was fathered with his sister. In fact, only six of those kids are legitimate. Let’s see what his wife thinks of that –



:stare:

Anyway, aside from his horrible side adventures, Witiza is a reasonably good ruler that inherited a wonderful legacy with his 40 holdings. Assur Ironside, his father, turned the dynasty around, cutting Cordoba decadence by 2/3rds and doubling the Duchy’s territory with his impressive 24 Marshal. Witiza himself is an okay ruler; he’s a skillful commander and devious enough to hold onto power (16 in both Marshal and Intrigue), but the rest of his stats are balls. Still, with a powerful military (3.2 thousand troops), widespread support, and impressive wealth, Witiza is the dominant force in Iberia. The only reason he hasn’t formed the Kingdom of Andalusia yet is because he’s two provinces and 60 ducats short.


Speaking of which, I’ve noticed something interesting. Several large states (Taghaza, Flanders, Kola, and Nidaros, for instance, but several others as well) have enough territory to form the appropriate kingdoms but seem never to get around to it. Turns out, it’s because of money; none of these states have a high enough income to build a significant treasury before a war drains them down to nothing. I suppose with war a constant threat for every province, very little is spent on province improvements. That’s my best guess, anyway. Thread opinions would be appreciated!





Despite his utter lack of tact and social skills (0 diplomacy, shy, proud, paranoid, possessed), Berthold Innsbruck of Tyrol (who had just come to the throne when we last checked in) has ruled his duchy for decades and is well respected as an administrator (18 stewardship, just) above all. His 41 holdings make him wealthy and powerful, but a coalition of Aequatorians to the north stifles his expansion. Thuringia (which fell to Aequatorianism after the last update, but was reconquered by a Catholic Anglo-Saxon claimant later on) would make a powerful ally and counterweight, but the two seem uninterested in each other. Shame.





Good old Bulgaria is :steppewolf: as usual. At 43 holdings with excellent stewardship and diplomacy, Dan the Old (didn’t know that was a Bulgarian name before Christianity arrived) only has one son, Bernardin (even worse), meaning his kingdoms won’t split on his death. Unfortunately, though the Greeks are, as usual, completely disunited to the south, Dan’s facing the emerging powers of Bosnia, Wallachia, and Transylvania to the north. All of them (except Transylvania, a paper tiger riven by civil war) would love to replace Bulgaria as the Balkans’s preeminent power.





At 45 provinces Seyfullah the Fat is in theory the most powerful man in Asia at this point, but his realm’s size belies it’s weakness. He has slightly over half the military of neighboring Luristan on top of his own military incompetence (he has a good Marshal, fortunately), and his income falters in comparison with his neighbors. On top of everything else, his dynasty is huge and lacks land, turning Decadence into a constant concern. It’s hard to tell what’s next for his realm, but Baghdad may just be in desperate danger.





And, last but definitely, comes Flanders! Sitting high above the other great kingdoms with 50 holdings, Rognvaldr finally executed his brother and competitor Hrafn (lol) in 845, and he continues to dominate Northern Europe between his huge armies, wealth, and 27 (!) marshal. With only one son to succeed him (the moderately competent Haukr), Rognvaldr’s enormous demesne will stay intact on succession, allowing Haukr to easily step up to the plate. I can’t find anything that threatens Flanders, honestly; their Christian neighbors are divided by heresy, Crusades don’t exist yet, the realm is peaceful and will not be divided on succession, and the military easily outweighs that of any given neighbor. Of course, now that I’ve said that, Flanders will have converted to Sabotianism and split into its component provinces by next update.

Speaking of Christians…



Heretics currently outnumber Catholics at a 4:3 ratio. Normally, this would be the point in the game where Catholicism enters a terminal decline and implodes, perhaps eventually being replaced by a heresy. But things aren’t as dire as they look for the Bishop of Rome; Catholicism has 71.3 Moral Authority, whereas none of the heresies have higher than 15. Why is Catholicism, previously so weak, now making a comeback? Well, partly it’s because of a bunch of recent lucky holy wars. But it’s equally the fault of one man…



:siren: LIVES OF THE RICH PIOUS AND FAMOUS :siren:





Pope Adrian III began life in December of 806 as Adelmio Padova, the son of Count Lanfranco the Holy of Padua. Adelmio showed an inclination towards religious life early on, balancing his saintly patience with easy generosity and a total belief in the message of the Catholic Church, but he was also inclined towards court life, negotiations, and politics. His father saw him as a useful counterweight to hostile elements in the court of his overlord Arichis of Genoa, but Adelmio was inexperienced in court life and quickly irritated the mercurial Duke. Shortly after his 23rd birthday, Adelmio was sent packing back to the court of Padua, where he became a soldier serving in the shadow in his father, and later his twin brother.

In his spare time, Adelmio turned to theology to pass the time not spent fraternizing with his soldiers (Adrian was famous for his pleasant, inoffensive demeanor and ability to relate with people of any social strata, skills he used to great effect later in life). Lanfranco, at the time recently dead, had been an amateur theologian as well as a ruler. He had believed that, though God in all of his three incarnations is infallible, humans are not as great as God and therefore entirely fallible. He wrote that every human, even the most holy, is prone to error and sin without the guidance of other holy men and a personal relationship with God. Therefore, though the Church should and needs to lead the faithful in worship, errors in doctrine are inevitable and need to be corrected through reform and divine inspiration. Though he endorsed the Church and fully supported the Papacy, Lanfranco’s eccentric beliefs irritated the Genoese clergy and prevented him from affecting Papal policy. Adelmio, on the other hand, was far more politically savvy than his father. He developed Lanfranco’s beliefs into a rough guide for church policy and convinced his brother to appoint him Bishop of Montangana, where he put his ideas into action. He was not formally ordained at this time and would not be until after he became Pope; however, his reputation for piety was so high it rarely inhibited him politically.

quote:

Do you believe, like the Perfecti, that all men are born of a foul, earthly god? If so, then how can men be good. It is commonly known that all good comes from something divine, but if true divinity has no connection to us men, then how can we approach the divine? If you accept the Perfectist beliefs, then Jesus cannot have had a connection to God and therefore you reject Christianity? And of the Humilitan belief that poverty is divine? Tell me how the Church is supposed to exist otherwise. I agree that priests in luxurious garments feasting on rich foods is itself foul, but why can that not be resolved within the Mother Church? In addition, in this fallen world, even men of God cannot provide for themselves without tithe. How could we build Churches that glorify God or support the many good priests and bishops who keep the faith together? But the Humilitans have forgotten these facts. Instead, they attempt to build a Church by violence and without support, and therefore their attempt is doomed to failure.
– Letters to the Heretics of Sardinia, 829

Adelmio’s policies centered on the idea that all men should have a voice in Church policy, though ordained clergy should still have authority over internal decisions. He spent most of his time consulting with ordinary peasants on their personal beliefs, bringing them towards Catholic orthodoxy while incorporating their beliefs into his sermons and policy. When the Aequatorians came to Padua and converted much of the province, Adelmio single-handedly countered their spread with his letters, later enshrined in Papal policy. Though conflict-averse in person, Adelmio was a skilled rhetorician when writing; he was adept at finding holes in arguments and entertainingly humiliating opponents. His letters were read aloud in public squares by Church agents to increasingly greater crowds across Italy. Soon enough, Adelmio’s reputation grew enough to gain the attention of Pope Lucius I; he was offered the scarlet hat of a Cardinal at the unprecedented age of 34.



For the next decade, Cardinal Adelmio was a powerful voice in the Church for reform. After several years of gaining experience administrating the Catholic Church in northern Italy, Adelmio came to head a faction of reformers within the church; though powerful, they were opposed by a more established traditionalist group led by Cardinal Hesso of Tyrol. At this point, Adelmio had grown more and more tired of debate and became more subtle; his personal doctrine – combining Catholic tradition and papal supremacy with Humilitan emphasis on humility, frugality, and ministry– was promoted more through intrigue then persuasion. By increasingly darker means, including blackmail, intimidation, and eventually the murder of an incalsitrant cardinal, Adelmio was made Pope Adrian III in 846 at 40 years old, the youngest Pope ever at the time.

Adrian III’s administration combined ruthlessness and reform, carefully isolating enemies while publicly promoting the elimination of corruption within the Church. As a result, Adrian became extremely popular among the common folk of Europe, who revered him as someone who brought a collapsing faith back into righteousness. Adrian himself, however, saw few of the fruits of his labor. As he aged, he began to grow paranoid of those he had wronged taking revenge on him; though he remained very active in the Church for a decade after his election, he then began to withdraw from public life. By 859 he had gone into hiding, though he still dictated Papal policy through trusted representatives.

I’ll probably finish the biography once he’s, y’know, died.

:siren: DYNASTY FORMATION :siren:

I’ve decided that this LP is too cerebral and intellectual and boring, so I’ve decided to implement a little game to liven things up. Here’s how it works; post a dynasty name and coat of arms for me to put in the OP, and you can form a Dynasty. Then, make one prediction per update of how things will turn out in the next update, and if they come true you get Prestige; predicting that Catholic Heresies will still be around will get no points, predicting the disintegration of Nidaros will get you two points, specifying that the Chiefdom of Zaozerye will form a kingdom in precisely 21 years will get you ten points, etc. I will be the objective arbitrator of point distribution because I am always objective.

In return, if you have the most prestige at time of update, I’ll talk about anything you want in the next. Want me to track the evolution of the Baghdad Satrapy? Go ahead! Want me to track the entire history of the County of Chud? God help me, I will? Want me to endorse Bonapartism and never mention the LP in that endorsement! I’ll hate you, but I’ll still do it! Limits are; nothing against the forum rules, nothing that violates common decency, nothing that would take me a graduate thesis to explain. Knock yourselves out!

And with that, I’ll declare this update over. So far this update is… 20 loving pages in Word, so any more would delay it past the update schedule. Once again, thanks for reading, and give me any advice you can think of!

realedit: future updates are going to be nowhere near as long - likely fewer news items and top 5 instead of top 10.

Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 15:45 on Oct 17, 2015

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat
Please consider using [timg] tags for your images. They work just like [img] tags but with a 't' at the front and allow readers to expand images they're interested in seeing without any broken tables.

wiegieman
Apr 22, 2010

Royalty is a continuous cutting motion


Alternatively, resize or crop down to 800px width. That's about the smallest you need to go to avoid any possible table breakage. I like your LP, I just hate having to scroll around to read it.

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.

PoptartsNinja posted:

Please consider using [timg] tags for your images. They work just like [img] tags but with a 't' at the front and allow readers to expand images they're interested in seeing without any broken tables.

This? This is bad advice. Having more than a few TIMG tags in an lp update is incredibly obnoxious. You ideally want to see every image because they're all worth looking at. Having to click on each image individually means that many folks just plain won't read it at all.

wiegieman posted:

Alternatively, resize or crop down to 800px width. That's about the smallest you need to go to avoid any possible table breakage. I like your LP, I just hate having to scroll around to read it.

This is much better advice. Cropping out unnecessary bits from the images will make it easier to see what you're trying to show off, and as a bonus will also drastically cut the file size.

I'm otherwise enjoying the lp. It's a neat concept and I like the way you present it.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat

DoubleNegative posted:

This? This is bad advice.

It's quick and easy and preferable to what's happening now (having to scroll back and forth six times in order to read a single paragraph). Not being able to read the text will put people off just as quickly.

Ideally re-sizing the images would work best, but that can be very time consuming even with the aid of a third-party program like irfanview.

mcclay
Jul 8, 2013

Oh dear oh gosh oh darn
Soiled Meat
You have some repeated images in there.

Ghostwoods
May 9, 2013

Say "Cheese!"

PoptartsNinja posted:

Please consider using [timg] tags for your images.

PLEASE don't do this.

Falconier111
Jul 18, 2012

S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

Ghostwoods posted:

PLEASE don't do this.

I've done this for now, but I'll be going back through everything and fixing them by hand. Image. By. Image. :suicide:

At this point, it's looking like I'll have to choose between fixing the updates already up or posting an update on schedule. If I end up just resizing, it should only take me half a week at most, but :shrug:; I don't know how much time I'll have this week.

If you have an opinion on the topic, let me know.

PS fixed the repeated images

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Falconier111
Jul 18, 2012

S T A R M E T A L C A S T E
Good news! I got hired. Bad news! It's basically eaten my life. I don't have the time or energy to continue this. LP over, I'm afraid. :sadwave:

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