|
The library goon's story inspired me to post about this because there's a nonzero chance you fuckers will get some enjoyment out of hearing about the incredibly dangerous and hosed up things that happened in a place I lived for exactly one year. For starters, I was actually doing the "living in my car" thing for a month. My girlfriend of 6 years had just left me basically completely out of the blue, and despite neither of us making enough to afford our apartment alone, she insisted on moving out even though it was a 2 bedroom apartment and I was rarely home. I scraped by for a few months, had several roommates fall through at the last minute, and eventually my landlord, as nice as she was, just had to evict me. I had nowhere to store the vast amount of furniture and books and TVs and poo poo we had amassed, and was in a seriously "gently caress it" mood about life in general anyway, so I put my CDs, my computer, and my clothes in my car and just left. Presumably they put the furniture out on the curb and people took it home. I like to think some of them actually read the books. So I slept in my car/on couches for about a month. During that time I was aggressively pursuing a new job (being homeless rendered me incompatible with my former job) and actually found a job as a chef at a downtown hippie bistro BEFORE finding a place to live. Being pretty desperate, I went for the cheapest and easiest place to live in town: The [REDACTED] Hotel. Despite being in the heart of downtown and right next door to some very expensive condos, it was the kind of place where you got a sink, a refrigerator, an old style radiator heater that kept it just above freezing in the winter, and shared a very small bathroom with everyone else on your floor. The rent was $200 a month. Imagine what kind of place rents that cheap, and you're halfway there. What do you want to hear about first? There are so many options. The neighbors, obviously. The number of times the police were called, and what for. The drug use I witnessed. The prostitutes. The filth (actually, weirdly enough, it wasn't filthy; the bathroom was never in a particularly bad state and there were no bug problems or anything). I also had to use the Internet from the library during that year, but I only have a couple stories about that and they're nothing compared to Library Goon's.
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:02 |
|
|
# ? Mar 19, 2024 14:49 |
|
how about you go gently caress yourself
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:03 |
|
tl;dr Go gently caress you are self, op. TIA
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:04 |
|
voted 3
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:06 |
|
do you/did you smoke crack?
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:07 |
|
tell us about your crack use and prostitution for crack use
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:08 |
|
I would like to retract my original statement. I actually read it and would like to hear about the prostitutes. I wonder if you're my brother in law. Are you bipolar?
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:09 |
|
suck my tractor props to enfield yhug life
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:11 |
|
I'm not bi... polar! Ha ha. There were a lot of prostitutes, but the one I remember most was 18 or 19 and was almost always in one of my neighbor's apartments. Let's call him "Angry Buff Crackhead". He had, despite us having nothing at all in common, decided we were friends, so I hung out and drank beer in his apartment sometimes. The prostitute was almost always there, looking ragged and meth'd out. Several times she tried to invite herself into my "apartment". Thankfully I was never drunk enough to say "yes". The weirdest thing about her, and why I remember her vividly, is that a year or so after I moved out, I saw her walking downtown in a nice suit. She had apparently become a paralegal.
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:14 |
|
precision posted:I'm not bi... polar! Ha ha. this is a funny story?
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:16 |
|
Enfield posted:how about you go gently caress yourself
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:16 |
|
tell us more bro!!!!!!!1
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:17 |
|
Maybe a few lighthearted prostitute anecdotes to ease the tension?
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:17 |
Should have sold your junk instead of just leaving it. I mean your belongings not how you rented ur genitals for crack Just belt out some real-time stories man https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo
|
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:18 |
|
yo if you gonna post a thread like this don't make us ask you to post the funny
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:18 |
|
what up fellow briefly-lived-in-a-car goon poo poo sucks
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:19 |
|
if op does as good at whatever his job is as he does at posting its no goddamn wonder he was homeless
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:20 |
|
I got invited to a barbeque at a crackhouse and in 3 hours no-one cooked any food they were just smoking meth and drinking except for this kid who was only about 5
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:21 |
|
Why don't you tell a story like library goon's? Did you eat any good tainted sausage?
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:28 |
|
by 2015 who HASNT lived in a traphouse you loving tool
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:30 |
|
Well I didn't know what people wanted to hear about! Cast of characters (incomplete but these are the highlights) Dudes on my floor (no women lived in this place, literally none): - Two old redneck guys who shared a room. They had actually put a ton of furniture and also garbage and random poo poo in there. One time they gave me a Steve Vai tape. They used to argue sometimes. I am 50% sure they were gay but it was really hard to tell because they were always hosed up and incoherent. - My next door neighbor, a young normal seeming dude who was always bumming beers and cigarettes off me, but would always pay me back. He had a job and a lot of pornography and I often wondered why he was even living there since I never saw evidence that he did any drugs other than alcohol. Not even weed. - Guy at the end of the hall. Looked like Frank Zappa, was on disability, room was full of junk and televisions. Sometimes he sold me weed and one time he sold me a table. I'm not sure what he was on disability for, but it was definitely a mental condition. He seemed functional but I think he was just taking his meds all the time.
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:38 |
|
People sell crack at the hotel half a block from my house and hookers give blowjobs in the building alcove across the street from my century home. You don't see me making threads about it.
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:41 |
|
tell you what if you get me high for free i'll listen to your stories
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:41 |
|
Here's a funny story: There's a stocky short guy with a huge gut. He sells crack, but he's also an addict. I see him all tweaked out at the 7-11 often when I run out for milk or the weekend paper. We call him Crackhead Patton Oswalt. (sorry to upstage you in your thread bro)
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:44 |
|
why would I be entertained by your stories when the very same greasy underclass is beating on the glass of my luxury condo?
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:54 |
|
hey OP. Pretty sure you used to have a lazer Guided melodies avatar. That was some good poo poo. Change it back
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 04:56 |
|
For a couple months, a homeless girl lived there with me. Bear in mind I had started out sleeping on the hardwood floor with jackets for pillows, and I guess I kind of got used to it and also didn't want to take the depressing step of actually buying furnishings as if I was going to stay there any length of time, so I didn't have a bed. The aforementioned table was the only furniture, as well as a table I had made in 8th grade shop class which I somehow still owned and which had my CD player on it. She was from Kansas and I'd met her at the bus station which was about 5 blocks away. She had dreadlocks and was a "traveler" by choice. She said she had been one since she was 16, when she had run away to San Francisco with her boyfriend, who she eventually got pregnant by, married, divorced, and lost custody of the kid to. I'm actually still friends with her to this day, because she decided to stay in town even after moving out with me. I'm by no means a neat freak but she was extremely unconcerned with things like cleanliness. Despite us liking each other a lot, we had fallings-out. One night she got especially mad at me because I couldn't pay her cover to go to a bar with me. Bear in mind we weren't romantically involved, unless we actually were and I didn't know it. Who can say. She moved out and into a sort of hippie commune. I was spending the night hanging out with her there and I kept playing some song over and over throughout the night. This annoyed her so much that she broke the CD in half and tried to cut my friend with. Later that night, as I was about to go to sleep, I felt bad so I went in the other room to apologize. She and her boyfriend kept saying "It's fine man just go to bed" and I was like "No for real, I'm so sorry" and eventually she yelled "WE'RE TRYING TO HAVE SEX RIGHT NOW".
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 05:01 |
|
A CRUNK BIRD posted:hey OP. Pretty sure you used to have a lazer Guided melodies avatar. That was some good poo poo. Change it back Yeah, anything Spiritualized is worth keeping.
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 05:01 |
|
A CRUNK BIRD posted:hey OP. Pretty sure you used to have a lazer Guided melodies avatar. That was some good poo poo. Change it back No that was hatelull, is his name I think? I always noticed it because they are literally my favorite band of all time. I think at one point I had a Spacemen 3 avatar though.
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 05:02 |
|
preemptively voted 5 op, don't let me down
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 05:02 |
|
precision posted:No that was hatelull, is his name I think? I always noticed it because they are literally my favorite band of all time. I think at one point I had a Spacemen 3 avatar though. Well then I guess we talked about spiritualized at some point. Remember when spiritualized was good? Those were good times
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 05:03 |
|
precision posted:She moved out and into a sort of hippie commune. I was spending the night hanging out with her there and I kept playing some song over and over throughout the night. This annoyed her so much that she broke the CD in half and tried to cut my friend with. Later that night, as I was about to go to sleep, I felt bad so I went in the other room to apologize. She and her boyfriend kept saying "It's fine man just go to bed" and I was like "No for real, I'm so sorry" and eventually she yelled "WE'RE TRYING TO HAVE SEX RIGHT NOW". lol
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 05:03 |
|
A CRUNK BIRD posted:Well then I guess we talked about spiritualized at some point. Remember when spiritualized was good? Those were good times Are they bad now? I mean I guess I don't really listen to the newer albums as much, but they're not BAD just kinda... not the same man... not the same.
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 05:06 |
|
Trying to have some sex right now... have a little bit of trouble figuring it out and your constant purile apologies aren't helping
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 05:06 |
|
Just post you beautiful twink
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 05:13 |
|
These are horrible stories your a horrible person
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 05:18 |
|
you should probably lead by mentioning a single interesting thing. also here is a hint about real crack houses: they aint charging $200 rent
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 05:22 |
|
thathonkey posted:you should probably lead by mentioning a single interesting thing. So does this mean I should ask for a refund then? drat.
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 05:23 |
|
I was the only person in the entire building who owned a car. So often I was asked for rides. Constantly, in fact. One night Angry Buff Crackhead asks me to take him to the gas station to get some food. OK. We got there and apparently there was a party going on in the parking lot. He tells me to wait and he'll be right back. For 20 minutes I feel vaguely weird about sitting there doing nothing while people around me drink 40s and blast music. It also made me feel vaguely weird that I was listening to the same music as them (Public Enemy). About 30 minutes after he goes in, he comes back out and tells me to haul rear end. He hands me a bag filled with beef jerky and beer. "I shoplifted all that," he says matter-of-factly. I wasn't bothered by being included in his crime, but I would have liked to have retained plausible deniability. Homeless Girl (let's call her "Nadine") owned one book. It was Moon Unit Zappa's novel America the Beautiful, which does not even appear to have a Wikipedia change, which should tell you something. I read it out of boredom and wish I had not. It is a book about a quirky daughter of a famous musician and how hard it is for her to get normal guys to date her because of her dad. I do not recommend it.
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 05:27 |
|
|
# ? Mar 19, 2024 14:49 |
|
i like u op
|
# ? Oct 13, 2015 05:30 |