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Sorry, but it's true. Let's break it down into the major holiday components: Treats: Candy. Unless you are a literal child, candy is disgusting and adults who still enjoy candy are gross. Events: Tick or Treating and Halloween parties. Unless you're a child going after candy (which has already been established as gross) or a horny teen looking to have sex with a boy/girl whose ugliness is disguised by his/her costume, both events are a lame waste of time and attended by tedious people. The central conceit of the holiday (dressing up in costume) is also lame because unless you're a die-hard cosplayer, your costume sucks and smells funny. Decorations: Easily the messiest, ugliest and most time consuming to erect and clean up of all holiday decorations. Halloween decorations, like Halloween costumes, uniformly have a strong chemical smell that is unpleasant to be around even at a distance. Oh, and they also make shrieking and cackling sounds that grate on the ear. An offense to all the senses in other words. Music: Monster Mash remains the only good Halloween song. The others are forgettable at best. Themed Movies: Horror films are pretty much the only thing this holiday has going for it, and they're usually only peripherally related to Halloween. Also, most horror films suck rear end. Subject Matter: Celebrating the birth of Satan; the universe's first loser. Fitting I guess because it's a loser holiday. Overall Score: 1.5 out of 6 skulls. Very Poor.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 13:21 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2024 05:13 |
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You forget copious amounts of alcohol and "slutty (insert occupation)" costumes
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 13:24 |
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Crazyeyes posted:You forget copious amounts of alcohol and "slutty (insert occupation)" costumes Ugh, good catch. Sorry I left those out. Downgrading to 1 out of 6 skulls.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 13:27 |
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lol OP likes Easter
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 13:29 |
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I'm the cool rich person that leaves out a bowl of fullsized name brand candy bars.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 13:30 |
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Fitzy Fitz posted:lol OP likes Easter Easter only very narrowly escapes being the worst holiday by virtue of being low effort. You can cruise by Easter without much trouble. It is easily the second worst holiday though.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 13:30 |
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halloween would probably be a good time to get away with a public murder
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 13:32 |
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memorial day is a pretty lousy holiday ,we already have veterans day when do we need a holiday for dudes that suck at war?
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 13:37 |
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smdh at op for picking monster mash and not thriller what happened to u op to make u the wrong way u are
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 13:40 |
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also putting razor blades in candy and giving it to kids isn't cool? wowa pplewhite what's going on in the noggin of urs huh what is wrong here
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 13:41 |
Halloween is the great social equalizer - even the most awkward loving goon can put on a dumb costume and have a good time somewhere.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 13:47 |
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Applewhite posted:Easter only very narrowly escapes being the worst holiday by virtue of being low effort. You can cruise by Easter without much trouble. It is easily the second worst holiday though. Yeah but you have to go to drat church though. That puts it over the top.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 13:49 |
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social vegan posted:smdh at op for picking monster mash and not thriller what happened to u op to make u the wrong way u are Monster Mash is a better song, Thriller is just a cool music video
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 13:50 |
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RadioactiveKid posted:Monster Mash is a better song, Thriller is just a cool music video lol if u ain't jammin on loving halloween https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krRaa8Nlz7g
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 13:51 |
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As far as posters go, you are the apple of my eye, Applewhite, and as such I'm pretending your post never happened.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 13:52 |
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Why is it socially unacceptable to wear a costume any day of the year ? Weird how our stylish clothes will be a gag outfit for some people in the future.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 13:55 |
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It's great because you can walk around with a boner all day and no one can see it under the costume. I went to the post office dressed as an ewok and was stroking my hardon while buying stamps. Halloween rules
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 13:59 |
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ncumbered_by_idgits posted:Yeah but you have to go to drat church though. That puts it over the top. lol if you think you ever "have" to go to church.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 14:06 |
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Applewhite posted:lol if you think you ever "have" to go to church. Going to church > getting bitched at by my wife all day.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 14:20 |
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ncumbered_by_idgits posted:Going to church > getting bitched at by my wife all day. Married and to a conservative wife too lol How's your drinking ?
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 14:21 |
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quote:unless you're a die-hard cosplayer, your costume sucks and smells funny. unless --> especially if The joy isn't in eating the candy, it's in getting the candy. Jack-o-lanterns own but I'll admit that pumpkin guts are a smelly hassle.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 14:36 |
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Applewhite posted:Easter only very narrowly escapes being the worst holiday by virtue of being low effort. You can cruise by Easter without much trouble. It is easily the second worst holiday though. We always ate beer battered shrimp on Easter in the name of our Lord and savior. With a low count number shrimp, like the big fuckers, prawns maybe. No not that big, but still big enough for Jesus to bless it while we recount his plight.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 14:36 |
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halloween owns and the only downside is idiots on my FB feed reposting that thing about like "IF A KID GRABS MORE THAN ONE PIECE OF CANDY DONT BE A JERK THEY MAY HAVE MOTOR CONTROL PROBLEMS" as if it isn't 99.99999% more likely that they are being greedy little shits
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 14:37 |
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peanut posted:unless --> especially if If you're a die hard cosplayer there's a chance your costume might not suck, and it doesn't start smelling like BO until you've worn it for a few hours. Store-bought Halloween costumes smell like new rubber right out of the box and go on to acquire a BO smell over the course of the night.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 14:49 |
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Halloween is, in fact, the best holiday. Candy is good. I may not eat it as much as I did as a kid, but I still love chocolate and Halloween in the only time you can get chocolate balls that look like eyeballs, or Lindor chocolates that look like jack-o-lanterns. Costumes are good because dressing up is fun. It's a lot of fun to put together a costume with stuff that you make yourself or find in different places. Scary things are great. I did most of my decorating the other day. I've got lights shaped like spiders and bats, sparkly bats on a beaded string, a Halloween wreath for my door and a bunch of reusable wall stickers of bats, skulls and ghosts. My office is decorated with spiderweb tablecloths, plush monsters, figurines and candles. I like Halloween so much that I have extended it into Christmas. I celebrate Ghostmas now. I have a bLack tree with orange lights and spooky decorations and all my gifts are wrapped in Halloween style gift wrapping. Come November, all the Halloween gift bags are super cheap. Scary movies are the best kinds of movies. Someday, I hope to live in a house where I can have trick-or-treaters and host a proper Halloween party for once.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 14:49 |
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Nessa posted:Halloween is, in fact, the best holiday. I'm not going to poo poo on your joy because Ghostmas sounds awesome. But I remain steadfast that candy is gross. The only good sweets are extra dark chocolate (60% or better) and those aren't typically dispensed on Halloween.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 14:53 |
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i held a girls hand last halloween
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 14:56 |
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Applewhite posted:
Don't be discouraged ! I always get 85% dark chocolate to give out along with other "adult" sweets Stupid kids
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 14:56 |
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halloween is good because hocus pocus is on tv
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 15:16 |
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Halloween is the most nakedly selfish holiday and I love it.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 15:19 |
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drat you dont want to live in my neighborhood. we get literally hundreds of kids. they take buses to get to us even
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 15:22 |
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no halloweenie this year this is the worst halloween in years
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 15:25 |
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tehcneicely, sattan was the person who actualy got poo poo done, so while he was the first loser, he was also the first winner
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 15:28 |
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Applewhite posted:
you should try poison then , op!!
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 15:29 |
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Slutty Applewhite costume
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 15:30 |
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quakster posted:tehcneicely, sattan was the person who actualy got poo poo done, so while he was the first loser, he was also the first winner What poo poo did he get done, exactly? He failed at the only thing he ever tried to do. plain blue jacket posted:Slutty Applewhite costume You can just call it an "Applewhite Costume" and people will know what you mean.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 15:35 |
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Halloween is the holiday that has the most fist fights. You'd think it would be St Patrick's day, but no it is Halloween. One Halloween I saw the Wolfman knock out a guy dressed as Brett Beilema. I think the Wolfman was a UCLA fan or something. Post your fav Halloween fist fight stories
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 15:37 |
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Applewhite posted:What poo poo did he get done, exactly? He failed at the only thing he ever tried to do.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 15:39 |
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Applewhite posted:What poo poo did he get done, exactly? He failed at the only thing he ever tried to do.
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 15:41 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2024 05:13 |
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Applewhite posted:Music: Monster Mash remains the only good Halloween song. The others are forgettable at best. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01-ZrECVOW8
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# ? Oct 13, 2015 16:28 |