ITT greatest post ever

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > ITT greatest post ever

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Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Lmao holy gently caress those are all funny. Printer goon I've read before but just lol

# ? Oct 20, 2015 17:58

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 17:39

concerned mom: Apr 22, 2003; by Lowtax; Grimey Drawer

That anal wheelchair one is a copy paste it's been posted before.

# ? Oct 20, 2015 18:00

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Well I'm guessing they are ALL copy pasted, but I think I get your drift friend

# ? Oct 20, 2015 18:01

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

the wheelchair anal thing was posted in an anonymous confessions thread, and the actual wheelchair story guy (evil agita) posted as himself denying it

# ? Oct 20, 2015 18:04

Redmanred: Aug 29, 2005; My hometown japan

Oh my god, that straight edge goon has me wide eyed and shaking my head.

# ? Oct 20, 2015 18:10

FlimFlam Imam: Mar 1, 2007; Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams

Poor autistic kid and his hand-me-down gently caress puppet.

# ? Oct 20, 2015 18:17

texaholic: Sep 16, 2007; Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down

Someone post the goon who sniffed his sisters underwear story. Goons emailed his school or parents or some such and he got busted, he had to go to therapy and poo poo

# ? Oct 20, 2015 18:19

Cowman: Feb 14, 2006; Beware the Cow

Mad Monk posted:

Poor autistic kid and his hand-me-down gently caress puppet.

I hope that kid posted about it

# ? Oct 20, 2015 18:20

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

I think Al might probably be on the SA IRC channel, I'm guessing.

# ? Oct 20, 2015 18:25

concerned mom: Apr 22, 2003; by Lowtax; Grimey Drawer

Captain Yossarian posted:

Well I'm guessing they are ALL copy pasted, but I think I get your drift friend

O gently caress I thought i was in the confessions thread.

# ? Oct 20, 2015 18:33

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I always did like the weather show that guy did. HIGH PWESHAH.

# ? Oct 20, 2015 18:35

Puppy Galaxy: Aug 1, 2004

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I always did like the weather show that guy did. HIGH PWESHAH.

nh goon spotted

# ? Oct 20, 2015 18:47

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Puppy Galaxy posted:

nh goon spotted

MA but yeah

# ? Oct 20, 2015 18:53

yeah actually they will: Aug 18, 2012

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3467980

# ? Oct 20, 2015 19:04

Redmanred: Aug 29, 2005; My hometown japan

texaholic posted:

Someone post the goon who sniffed his sisters underwear story. Goons emailed his school or parents or some such and he got busted, he had to go to therapy and poo poo

# ? Oct 20, 2015 19:05

Puppy Galaxy: Aug 1, 2004

that guy gave me a tour of the tv studio where he worked when i was young. he was weird and spit formed in the corners of his mouth when he talked. he kept telling my brother (1 or 2 at the time) to stop sucking his thumb. he also confided in my mom that he doesn't like doing the HIGH PRESHA voice but station management made him. he's on WBIN now i think. anyway, tahts my weird al kaprelian story in the "good posts" thread

# ? Oct 20, 2015 19:11

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

String Beans posted:

Hahahahaha what a doofus

# ? Oct 20, 2015 19:31

Prettz: Sep 3, 2002

I miss the days when there'd always be somebody getting banned for their first post on SA. Those were very funny threads.

# ? Oct 20, 2015 19:40

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

String Beans posted:

I remember this one.

There have been several threads where goons (or lurkers) snitch on the OP. I remember one where some goon was asking for help shorting out his neighbors electricity or some poo poo by digging up the yard and adding in a little homemade device. Someone told the local cops and they were trying to print out the entire thread as evidence (which was massive). Anyone remember this?

Sophy Wackles fucked around with this message at 19:47 on Oct 20, 2015

# ? Oct 20, 2015 19:40

Secks Cauldron: Aug 26, 2006; I thought they closed that place down!

quote:

Gross goon wheelchair anal story

An actual analrapist

# ? Oct 20, 2015 19:53

texaholic: Sep 16, 2007; Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down

String Beans posted:

Haha, thanks the Internet seemed so much more naive back then. People didn't realize how easy it is to track down someone. Can't imagine something like that happening nowadays.

# ? Oct 20, 2015 19:56

PenguinBob: Oct 12, 2000

panty guy wasn't real.

# ? Oct 20, 2015 20:04

Hogge Wild: Aug 21, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Pillbug

PenguinBob posted:

panty guy wasn't real.

yeah, though it's still a funny post

# ? Oct 20, 2015 20:07

pop fly to McGillicutty: Feb 2, 2004; A peckish little mouse!

Lowtax posted:

Fucken Cactus Frankie

Cactus Frankie knows poo poo WITCH will blow your mind.

# ? Oct 20, 2015 20:07

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3474776&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1#post401952221
This one is pretty funny.

# ? Oct 20, 2015 20:08

Gibberish: Sep 17, 2002; by R. Guyovich

PenguinBob posted:

panty guy wasn't real.

Yeah I remember PsychoticMonkey or whatever his name was for FYAD was a buddy of mine and he sent me the posts and replies before he submitted them. Was funny seeing goons react that way.

# ? Oct 20, 2015 23:40

monkey: Jan 20, 2004; by zen death robot; Yams Fan

I have subscribed this newsgroup for a month. I thought you people are
discussing all kind of strategy games. Since i am also crazy about
turn-based all real-time strategy games, I had great expectation on this
group. But you all f_cking people have only big mouse. Many people
follow the someone's notes (totally not related to strategy games), and
those f_cking messages gave me f_cking headache. I know you all have
freedom to speak or write, but you people are doing too much.
Since old man says "NOBody scares poo poo to avoid, but they avoid because
its f_cking dirty. I will stop subscribing this loving newsgroup.
If you have any other words, gently caress you.

# ? Oct 21, 2015 00:02

Hell Yeah: Dec 25, 2012

monkey posted:

I have subscribed this newsgroup for a month. I thought you people are
discussing all kind of strategy games. Since i am also crazy about
turn-based all real-time strategy games, I had great expectation on this
group. But you all f_cking people have only big mouse. Many people
follow the someone's notes (totally not related to strategy games), and
those f_cking messages gave me f_cking headache. I know you all have
freedom to speak or write, but you people are doing too much.
Since old man says "NOBody scares poo poo to avoid, but they avoid because
its f_cking dirty. I will stop subscribing this loving newsgroup.
If you have any other words, gently caress you.

i agree gently caress you, strategy gamers

# ? Oct 21, 2015 01:39

DarksydePhilFish: Dec 31, 2004; tabarnak ack ack

Pawn 17 posted:

I remember this one.

There have been several threads where goons (or lurkers) snitch on the OP. I remember one where some goon was asking for help shorting out his neighbors electricity or some poo poo by digging up the yard and adding in a little homemade device. Someone told the local cops and they were trying to print out the entire thread as evidence (which was massive). Anyone remember this?

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1844470 (archives)

Some guy's cable was getting stolen by his neighbor, so instead of having to make eye contact, he went cartoonishly passive-aggressive, electrified the cable line, and burned the neighbor's house down. FYAD turned him in because it was a deplorable thing to do that could easily have gotten someone killed, and GBS whined about that until the thread was closed.

# ? Oct 21, 2015 02:32

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

The best post ever was the op of a fyad thread entitled something like "today i just left my beautiful wife of sixteen glorious years ".

It used html exploits to turn your computer into a demented nightmarish carnival of flashing text, crudely animated gifs, content that went beyond the borders of the normal display area for the forums in your browser, and a number of overlapping sound files including a freaky synth remix of the inspector gadget theme song.

It was the forums equivalent of the monolith opening at the end of 2001. Sadly it stopped working almost a decade ago, i would have loved to have preserved it.

e: here it is.

THE PLANES SEND OUT MATING SIGNALS TO ONE ANOTHER. PLEASE PUT YOUR SEATBELTS ON UNTIL THE PHYSICAL ACT OF LOVE IS OVER

Breetai fucked around with this message at 13:35 on Oct 21, 2015

# ? Oct 21, 2015 04:34

naem: May 29, 2011

Cream-of-Plenty posted:

OP, imagine:

After a long, productive day, you slip into your favorite flannel bottoms. Years of use have broken them in, and they sit on your hips like plaid skin. Ahhhhhh, you exhale. You pull back the plush down comforter and slip into a cocoon of silvery 600-thread-count sheets--they're cold on your bare feet at first, but you warm back up fast enough. Perhaps you reach over and turn on the MP3 player on your nightstand. Ah, Aegispolis by Aphex Twin, very nice. Very relaxing. Maybe you fart on yourself a little. It's like a warm breath swirling over your buttocks and legs. Don't let that smell escape, either: Pull the sheets down tight against your body and trap it in. It can be your little secret. Hungry still? How about you pop open one of those nightstand drawers and feel around for that half-eaten bag of raisins? Yum--raisins. They're like nature's candy. You grab a handful and dump them all into your mouth. Some of them might spill out onto the sheets, but you'll find them eventually. Oh, you might as well finish off the rest of the bag, because there's no sense in leaving 8 or 10 behind. That's barely a snack. Maybe they'll end up giving you a little bit of a stomach ache. Your gut begins to rumble with that burbling, hollow feeling that starts up right before a bout of diarrhea. The bathroom's pretty far away, though. After 10 or 15 minutes, you just give in to the inevitable and make wet stool in your bed. Gross. It's already late, though, so you can clean it up tomorrow. Just pull that comforter up over your head and let the sandman do the rest.

# ? Oct 21, 2015 04:55

Myrddin_Emrys: Mar 27, 2007; by Hand Knit

Yolomon Wayne posted:

There ya go:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3737493&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=4#post449204507

This link took me to a place that bent my mind

# ? Oct 21, 2015 14:34

Yolomon Wayne: Jun 10, 2014; You call it "The Big Bang", but what really happened is; Grimey Drawer

Myrddin_Emrys posted:

This link took me to a place that bent my mind

Where we are going, we dont need minds to be.

# ? Oct 21, 2015 14:36

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

concerned mom posted:

welcome 2 my world

the saddest thing is he's one of the better CD posters now because he actually talks about films and film-related things instead of trying to be supermechagodzilla about comic book movies

that's how bad CD is

# ? Nov 16, 2015 03:57

pr0k: Jan 16, 2001; "Well if it's gonna be
that kind of party..."

Some of my favorites:

Huggy war
ignore this - test
the video of all the shops of the strange man in the street with the paper bag and the club or something
the thread by (moonshine?) where he had a job that was downsized but he wasn't fired and he posted a serial about continuing to pretend to work for months?
that dorky furry that was a tiger? The yiff stars and the furpocalypse.

pr0k fucked around with this message at 04:50 on Nov 16, 2015

# ? Nov 16, 2015 04:46

I am Toni Lippi: Aug 16, 2004

I know how the guy in the op feels. All I ever wanted to bbe was a moderator too.

# ? Nov 16, 2015 04:55

BossTweed: Apr 9, 2001; Doctor Rope

There was once a goon-based webcam portal. Can you imagine watching your favorite/least favorite posters while they post comedy gold?

# ? Nov 16, 2015 05:18

RideTheSpiral: Sep 18, 2005; College Slice

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3750881&userid=189447

this is a good gbs meltdown by forums poster digital fingers

# ? Nov 16, 2015 05:24

Ringo Star Get: Sep 18, 2006; JUST FUCKING TAKE OFF ALREADY, SHIT

I remember an old post where Lowtax talked about the types of browsers people used to access SA and they banned a guy for using WebTV.

# ? Nov 16, 2015 06:40

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 17:39

Uncle Wemus: Mar 4, 2004

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

the saddest thing is he's one of the better CD posters now because he actually talks about films and film-related things instead of trying to be supermechagodzilla about comic book movies

that's how bad CD is

whats his forum name these days

# ? Nov 16, 2015 06:51

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