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in one of the East Village bars that i used to go to all the time, i would just put a $20 on the bar, and could drink as much as i wanted of whatever i wanted (coors light draft and jim beam neat) . in one of the West Village bars that i used to go to all the time, the bartender called me "Bob" because he said I looked like bob dylan. he was irish and thus may have been "taking the piss" as they say over across the pond. in one of the Queens bars that i used to go to all the time, one night i was talking for about 2 hours to a woman in her 50s who must have weighed 250 pounds and i tried to "seal the deal" as they say on this side of the pond and she turned me down.
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Oct 21, 2015 22:59
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 14:26 |
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ppl were v nervous and taking nerve shits like ive never seen, whole big line of nervous shitters like at an athletic competition
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Oct 21, 2015 23:18
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Suck a Dick No Homo posted:Me and a buddy went to a famous lesbian bar in SF not realizing what it was and they refused to serve us and AS A WHITE MAN I KNOW OPPRESSION There are no lesbian bars left in San Francisco. They have all been driven out by rising rents and pervasive nerdery. http://www.sfgate.com/education/article/Last-call-for-city-s-last-lesbian-bar-6209121.php
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Oct 21, 2015 23:19
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I hope you have more like this because this is awesome to me and Im not even into drinking alcohol. But I guess I would go for a hot saki if it is not too hot
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Oct 21, 2015 23:35
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A drunk girl pulled me behind the bar to make out and then she wanted to have sex, but she was on her period but she wanted to do it anyways. No condoms so she just wanted to raw dog it. I was like ew lol nope so she said stick it in her rear end. I considered it Then I walked her home because she was obviously too drunk and then her brothers threatened to beat me up
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Oct 21, 2015 23:38
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Saw a profoundly drunk girl singing karaoke piss herself about 3 weeks ago. Not a lot, but it was unmistakable. She didn't seem to notice.
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Oct 21, 2015 23:45
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One time I was at an airport and paid $9 for a corona
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Oct 22, 2015 00:05
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i drink at a bar that doesn't have chairs in it and they throw something that looks like sawdust on the floor. you're allowed to smoke in there. there's a pool table. on the weekends there's mexican square dancing with a fiddler and a dude on the accordion. the bartender is a lady in her early 50's with enormous tits named terry. i wanted to bang her until she started talking. she sounds like gilbert gottfried. there's a hotel on the top 3 floors. some dude smoking dust jumped out of his room and landed pretty hard on a sweet rear end 67 barracuda. the owner of that car got pretty peeved. he started to choke the dude who was on wet but his pants split. he's pretty heavy and looks like dilbert's boss kinda. he was embarrassed, so much so that he lost the will to fight a man with two broken legs who destroyed the hood of his lifelong love. it's all so sad.
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Oct 22, 2015 00:15
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A guy walked up to my table and said some stuff about me "Never having done anything in my whole life" and im like "what" and he shoves his finger in his eye socket and his false eye pops out and he picks it up and pours some of my beer into it and holds it to my mouth. I drank some then he did the same and drank some then put his eye back in his head and walked away. Another time I was at a really poo poo bar sitting on one of those high stools and a fight broke out near me. One guy pushed the other guy who fell into my stool and knocked me over. Somehow even though I was pretty hammered I fell a metre and didnt spill a drop from my glass. People clapped for me. I was at a national gallery once at a major opening where they had free booze and I vomited in the national gallery. (Dont know if this counts) Isaac fucked around with this message at 00:38 on Oct 22, 2015 |
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Oct 22, 2015 00:35
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a bay posted:I hope you have more like this because this is awesome to me and Im not even into drinking alcohol. But I guess I would go for a hot saki if it is not too hot he's a racist fucker who lives in a halfway house and pretends to be a lawyer in threads sometimes lmao
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Oct 22, 2015 00:51
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proof of concept posted:he's a racist fucker who lives in a halfway house and pretends to be a lawyer in threads sometimes lmao guns n roses ruined his life
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Oct 22, 2015 00:53
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Harry in Rio posted:he's pretty heavy and looks like dilbert's boss kinda. dikberts boss had the cool pointy hair bits, right?
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Oct 22, 2015 00:55
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One time I went to a bar, ordered and drank a few drinks, chatted with people and the bartenders and watched sports, paid my bill with a good tip, and left the establishment and took a cab home true story
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Oct 22, 2015 00:57
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let's see: i once won a beer from a dude playing pool against him. i also once won a game of pool against a racist dude who was fronting really hard, then his like "dad guy" (this older dude in his 50s, who was rolling w 2 or 3 20-something proteges??) beat me so they could secure the table for their racist pool cabal. um??
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Oct 22, 2015 00:59
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proof of concept posted:he's a racist fucker who lives in a halfway house and pretends to be a lawyer in threads sometimes lmao Cool, do you have a story from the bar
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Oct 22, 2015 01:00
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There was this one bar I went to in college. It was one of those places they never clean, and they took the door off the bathroom because people were doing un-Christian things in there. The bar also had holes in the wood floor, so you could see into the basement! This was a nice feature. There were also very few actual glass windows, mostly just small squares cut in the wall that someone stapled chicken wire over. On Tuesdays they would sell beer for 10 cents for a plastic cup, but there was always a long line so people would end up buying pitchers at full price. A friend of mine would drink a whole lot, then punch out the chicken wire windows so he could puke without going outside. Since the place was such a dump, and because he somehow manged to casually puke out a window, no one really minded. Eventually the bar was shut down by the health department.
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Oct 22, 2015 01:05
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proof of concept posted:he's a racist fucker who lives in a halfway house and pretends to be a lawyer in threads sometimes lmao just to clear a couple things up: i no longer live in a halfway house, and i've never pretended to be a lawyer. (however, i am graduating from a top 5 law school this december, after having to take a bunch of time off to get sober.) anyway, back when i was in college in new england, i used to drink alone at this real working class bar that was run by a vietnam vet and had a sign "no club colors" over the door. i would try to fit in with the locals by speaking with a fake working class new england accent. looking back, i'm surprised no one ever called me on it, as it must have been painfully obvious that i was a college student. fortunately, once back in new york city, i was able to pull off my clever lower class stratification ruse with more authenticity, as by this point the booze and cigarettes had worn my once boyish face. also i am much better at the nyc accent, having grown up in the area. the problem, however, was if i would go out for drinks with coworkers to some of my regular bars and worlds would collide. i went to great lengths having to switch accents on the fly, never allowing both groups - the barflys and my coworkers - hear me speak simultaneously.
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Oct 22, 2015 02:10
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me and my friends used to drink at this tiny bar in the back of a korean restaurant, we'd always talk to the owner and he'd let us pick out cassette tapes of korean music to put on. nobody knew korean so we'd just pick something random. one time my friend carried a keg in for the owner and he gave us a free pitcher of beer.
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Oct 22, 2015 02:15
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SmokaDustbowl posted:me and my friends used to drink at this tiny bar in the back of a korean restaurant, we'd always talk to the owner and he'd let us pick out cassette tapes of korean music to put on. nobody spoke korean so we'd just pick something random. one time my friend carried a keg in for the owner and he gave us a free pitcher of beer. a refreshing real story, as opposed to a fake story like some of the others itt
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Oct 22, 2015 02:16
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you know how i can tell? there's nothing that makes you look cool or badass in that story, just regular person poo poo
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Oct 22, 2015 02:17
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That reminds me of the time I was at a place and ordered a beer and the waitress was like "The keg is empty sorry. Actually if you can change it I'll comp you the beer!". At that point I'd never untapped/tapped a keg so it sounded fun. She handed my like a loving chisel and was like "yeah I don't know how to do it I've been trying to use this". I looked at what she was jamming the chisel into for a sec and realized she was doing it completely wrong, you just had to pull a knob on a lever out and then pull up. Easy, switched the keg. Then she forgot to comp me the beer and I didn't wanna cause any trouble because I'm a pussy so I paid for it.
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Oct 22, 2015 02:23
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bet you lent her a printer later
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Oct 22, 2015 02:32
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Another time at a bar I was just drinking with my buddy minding my own and I went into the bathroom. Typical bar bathroom, sink , short partition wall, piss trough, toilet behind you when you're standing at the trough. . .I go in and get situated at the trough and this guy washing his hands starts giggling and acting like he was going to push a 16 ounce beer glass off the edge of the partition. He was looking at me like, "teeheee I could totally push this over, then it would break and there would be broken glass! Oh me oh my!" For some reason this really annoyed me so I picked the glass up, swung around and threw it toward the wall behind me. What I didn't really think about until the glass left my hand was that the toilet was back there. I watched as the thick bottom of the glass entered the bowl of the toilet and like a bunker buster, exploded as it pierced the porcelain wall, causing the whole shitter to crumble into a shiny wet mass of sharp and pointy pieces. Water quickly spread across the floor and I made my hasty retreat towards the table I was at to tell my friend about what just happened. As I made my way through the crowd I noticed the dork that was at the sink in the bathroom, and he walked up to the bar owner and when they saw each other, they reacted like they were old childhood pals that had been reunited after hundreds of years. They gave each other a great big hug and I grabbed my friend and said, "We have to leave, now, no questions, I'll tell you about it outside" Got away clean with that one.
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Oct 22, 2015 02:40
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They sat us down in the big ornate room on 44th street a few weeks before we were admitted. The message from the speakers was clear: try to stay away from substance abuse, but under no circumstances should you ever, EVER commingle client funds.
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Oct 22, 2015 02:50
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You guts throw a lot of glasses
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Oct 22, 2015 02:51
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Bold Robot posted:They sat us down in the big ornate room on 44th street a few weeks before we were admitted. The message from the speakers was clear: try to stay away from substance abuse, but under no circumstances should you ever, EVER commingle client funds. speaking of which, am i gonna have a hard time passing character & fitness since i've been to rehab? i know a lot of lawyers are drunks, but that seems to happen after they're admitted, not before.
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Oct 22, 2015 02:53
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I feel I should say that I also appreciate the stories about the bar exam even if I am not focusing in them in my replies... its insane to see what its like to be a lawyer
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Oct 22, 2015 02:54
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People wore lots of makeup and smelled good, I drank cheap booze and danced funny.
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Oct 22, 2015 03:00
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Someone sat next to me at my former favorite bar, pulled out a sheet of acid, and started clipping it up; put one hit in my beer. I din't protest. Then he dosed someone else's beer. Shomwhow now I'm the mad doser. Barred for life but that shithole is swiftly being mismanaged outta bidnizz anyways
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Oct 22, 2015 03:03
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I hosed a 5x5 land whale I met after a long night of drinking at the bar op, turns out she was your mom
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Oct 22, 2015 03:05
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Champenema posted:Someone sat next to me at my former favorite bar, pulled out a sheet of acid, and started clipping it up; put one hit in my beer. I din't protest. I like this one
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Oct 22, 2015 03:06
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I am barred from the bar next door from them based on the rumor alone. Fuckin lol
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Oct 22, 2015 03:11
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The only time I ever gotten drunk at the bar was just before the judge held me in contempt.
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Oct 22, 2015 03:31
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Hey here's that Wills question I mentioned, they put the questions online: Grant, a widower, had two children, Jill and Jeff, twins born in 1990. In 2005, Grant duly created an inter vivos trust, reserving to himself the power to amend or revoke the trust. The trust agreement designated Grant’s attorney, Ann, as trustee. It was duly executed by both Grant and Ann. The trust agreement provided that the income would be paid to Jill and Jeff according to their needs for their support and education until they reached the age of 30, at which time the corpus of the trust would be paid to them outright, in equal shares. Grant delivered $500,000 in cash and securities to Ann to fund the trust. The trust agreement was silent regarding the right of the beneficiaries to assign their interests in the trust. Grant suffered substantial business losses in 2009, and he defaulted on a loan he had obtained from B Bank. B Bank obtained a judgment against Grant. In a special proceeding to determine B Bank’s right to enforce its judgment against the assets of the trust, the court ruled that the assets of the trust could not be applied to the satisfaction of B Bank’s judgment. Each summer when they were children, Grant had taken Jill and Jeff for a long vacation to his lake house. Jill disliked being at the lake, but Jeff loved the lake house and enjoyed swimming, boating and fishing in the lake with Grant. In May 2012, Jeff asked Grant for $100,000 to buy a boat, and Grant gave him the money. On December 2, 2012, Grant sent a letter to Jill and Jeff stating: “I am considering my estate plan. I love you equally, but I intend to leave the lake house to Jeff. Jill never liked it anyway. I will take good care of Jill. The money I gave Jeff to buy his boat will be an advance on his inheritance from my estate. [signed] Your father, Grant.” Jill owed $12,000 to Bella, the owner of a boutique at which Jill purchased designer clothes and accessories on credit. In 2013, Jill, then a law student, executed an assignment of her income interest in the trust to satisfy her debt to Bella. Bella presented the assignment to Ann, who thereafter began paying Jill’s share of the trust income to Bella. Grant died on March 1, 2014. Grant’s will, duly executed on October 2, 2013, has been admitted to probate. The will contains the following provisions: FIRST: I leave my lake house to my daughter, Jill. SECOND: I leave the remainder of my estate to my children, Jill and Jeff, in equal shares. THIRD: I name my attorney, Ann, as my executor. Grant was survived by Jill and Jeff. His net estate totaled $1,200,000. Jeff is seeking construction of the FIRST provision of the will, claiming that the provision is a mistake and that the will does not represent Grant’s intent to leave the lake house to Jeff. Jeff seeks to offer as evidence Grant’s letter of December 2, 2012. Jill claims that she is entitled to the lake house and that Jeff’s share in the estate should be reduced by the $100,000 Grant gave him to buy his boat. (1) Was the court correct in ruling that the assets of the trust could not be applied to the satisfaction of B Bank’s judgment against Grant? (2) Did Ann act properly in paying Jill’s share of the income of the trust to Bella? (3) How should the court rule as to the admissibility of Grant’s December 2, 2012 letter with respect to the construction of the FIRST provision of the will? (4) Should Jeff’s share of the estate be reduced by the $100,000 Grant advanced him to buy his boat? Well goons what do you think???
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Oct 22, 2015 03:42
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intolerable cruelty is the best lawyer movie, jsyk
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Oct 22, 2015 03:44
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Kleen_TheRowdyDog posted:speaking of which, am i gonna have a hard time passing character & fitness since i've been to rehab? i know a lot of lawyers are drunks, but that seems to happen after they're admitted, not before. Not sure. Is it definitely something you have to disclose? If there wasn't any conviction involved it wouldn't shock me if you could just not bring it up (obviously disclose if they even arguably ask about it). There's probably a hotline or something you can call. Or maybe talk to like a counselor at your school? a bay posted:I feel I should say that I also appreciate the stories about the bar exam even if I am not focusing in them in my replies... its insane to see what its like to be a lawyer It's alright AMA.
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Oct 22, 2015 03:48
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presumably, asking someone at the bar association about whether or not you have to disclose that information is the kind of thing a real "up and comer" in the legal world would do!!
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Oct 22, 2015 03:50
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it's just that kind of "inside scoop" that will win you the big case and get the attention of your surrogate father at the firm!
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Oct 22, 2015 03:50
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During one of those "get drunk during the day" college town events i was outside of a bar in an alley waiting in line to get in. A girl in my group who was super wasted went into a porta potty adjacent to the line. Several minutes later she fell backwards out of the porta-potty with her pants half down. I felt bad for her but she was very annoying drunk. While typing this I realized I don't understand why she had her pants half down with her back facing the door, this strikes me as odd for a woman and raises additional questions.
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Oct 22, 2015 03:56
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 14:26 |
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two things why were you waiting in an alley, why was there a porta potty outside a bar
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Oct 22, 2015 03:56
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