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Game gonna suck dick here is the important part: I have to report to court tomorrow to see if they pick me for Jury Duty, what the gently caress do I have to do to get out of it? My grandma just said go in and be a giant racist, is it really that easy?  Golf lol
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Oct 26, 2015 00:01
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Winkie01 posted:Game gonna suck dick here is the important part: Say the following four words: "I'm not racist but..." and that should get you out of it.
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Oct 26, 2015 00:08
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C. Everett Koop posted:Say the following four words: "I'm not racist but..." and that should get you out of it. you could swap out homophobic for racist but I don't know if that would be more effective or not.
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Oct 26, 2015 00:10
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say you're an anarchist and you'll inform all of your fellow jurors of jury nullification no matter what the crime because all laws are unjust
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Oct 26, 2015 00:11
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Don't ever blink and stare at the prosecution lawyer the entire time.
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Oct 26, 2015 00:25
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Just pretend you're a sovereign citizen or something. Maritime law!
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Oct 26, 2015 00:26
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Wear a "If you see the police Warn A Brother" t-shirt.
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Oct 26, 2015 00:30
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Winkie01 posted:Game gonna suck dick here is the important part: I did that last month and I said that I didn't trust cops which wasn't a lie so I got out pretty quickly.
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Oct 26, 2015 00:32
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Winkie01 posted:Game gonna suck dick here is the important part: nullification is the way to go
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Oct 26, 2015 00:33
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It's your civic duty! Just go and serve.
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Oct 26, 2015 00:34
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Parmesan Basil posted:I did that last month and I said that I didn't trust cops which wasn't a lie so I got out pretty quickly. That's a good idea at least 1 person takes this situation seriously. Thank you kind sir.
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Oct 26, 2015 00:34
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Winkie01 posted:That's a good idea at least 1 person takes this situation seriously. Thank you kind sir. I think you should go with the anarchist idea tbh
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Oct 26, 2015 00:36
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Winkie01 posted:Game gonna suck dick here is the important part: here's a lil two minute test http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/08/20/nyregion/jury-duty-quiz.html?_r=0
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Oct 26, 2015 00:36
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TJ Olson is loving adorable 
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Oct 26, 2015 00:36
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Costas did not just say, "Really sweet story, but the Eagles won't be so sweet on Olson tonight," after all that.
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Oct 26, 2015 00:37
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just be a loving nervous wreck, op
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Oct 26, 2015 00:37
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Winkie01 posted:That's a good idea at least 1 person takes this situation seriously. Thank you kind sir. Anything to help my pervert friend.
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Oct 26, 2015 00:37
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Winkie01 posted:Game gonna suck dick here is the important part: The only reason I even remember my last jury duty was because Pope Francis got elected that week.
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Oct 26, 2015 00:38
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Winkie01 posted:That's a good idea at least 1 person takes this situation seriously. Thank you kind sir. this is a trap answer if the defense, for example, wants to argue that the police were negligent they'll try to keep you on the jury. Clearly the prosecution won't but they may make concessions
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Oct 26, 2015 00:39
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GobEagled! Let's have a fhb vs. Frinehg
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Oct 26, 2015 00:41
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This should be a really interesting game. Eagles were up 38-7 in the 3rd quarter vs the Panthers last year.
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Oct 26, 2015 00:41
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Madcosby posted:here's a lil two minute test quote:"Plaintiff lawyers may believe that because you are a younger person, you may be less likely to sympathize with someone in her 60s and would be less likely to be disturbed by the idea of losing a lot of money later in life. if true, gently caress my generation
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Oct 26, 2015 00:41
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winkie, you should answer all your questions like you're really slow in the head and neither side will want you
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Oct 26, 2015 00:42
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Donkwich posted:if true, gently caress my generation wait till you get to the frivolous law suit question Now I know how to keep my mouth shut
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Oct 26, 2015 00:42
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Be yourself, OP, that'll probably be enough.
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Oct 26, 2015 00:43
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loving go Panthers. Let's keep this thing rolling and get some revenge for letting Mark Sanchez dunk all over us last season.
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Oct 26, 2015 00:43
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I never even get called to report to the court. I've had plenty of notices. e: Donkwich posted:if true, gently caress my generation
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Oct 26, 2015 00:44
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old dog child posted:winkie, you should answer all your questions like you're really slow in the head and neither side will want you Nah prosecutors love stupid jurors. Say you're an expert in forensic evidence. Or Bayesian statistics. True story, a mathematicians testimony once got thrown out of a courtroom because a judge didn't believe Bayesian probability meant the witness was actually almost certain to be wrong.
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Oct 26, 2015 00:44
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Just sit on the jury, I judge people every day for free already.
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Oct 26, 2015 00:44
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three posted:This should be a really interesting game. Eagles were up 38-7 in the 3rd quarter vs the Panthers last year. That's right, isn't it? IIRC that was the game that caused an announcer to quip "this just isn't competitive." How the tables seemed to have turned in a year, however. Let's go Eagles!
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Oct 26, 2015 00:44
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old dog child posted:winkie, you should answer all your questions like you're really slow in the head and neither side will want you you just described the ideal juror e:f;b
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Oct 26, 2015 00:45
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Talk about how much you love riley cooper
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Oct 26, 2015 00:45
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the real trick is to get called for jury selection and then wish really hard that the case gets settled around 3:30pm so you only have to wait for 30 minutes before the day is over and then you're home by 5
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Oct 26, 2015 00:45
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If you say you're a producer or screenwriter for any law show, they'll drop you
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Oct 26, 2015 00:45
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Winkie01 posted:Game gonna suck dick here is the important part: If you figure out what the case they're calling you in for is, say that you have a relative that you're really close to that (was a victim/was convicted of) that crime. bias = bad, I think. IANAL, of course. edit: or bring in a copy of The New Jim Crow, or something else about the justice system.
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Oct 26, 2015 00:46
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axeil posted:GobEagled! Let's have a fhb vs. Frinehg Drunk or stroke, fam?
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Oct 26, 2015 00:46
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Yoshifan823 posted:If you figure out what the case they're calling you in for is, say that you have a relative that you're really close to that (was a victim/was convicted of) that crime. bias = bad, I think. IANAL, of course.
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Oct 26, 2015 00:47
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AKMoose posted:That's right, isn't it? IIRC that was the game that caused an announcer to quip "this just isn't competitive." How the tables seemed to have turned in a year, however. Let's go Eagles! Could very well end up the same way tonight. Eagles just need to attack the Panthers lovely safeties, and attack Cam like they said they were going to (hit him all the time even when he doesnt have the ball on run plays). Get in Cam's head and it's game over.
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Oct 26, 2015 00:47
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Dehumanize yourself and face to bloodshed
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Oct 26, 2015 00:47
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when they ask you "have you ever been a victim of a violent crime?" just reply casually "yea, yea all the ti-- oh a victim? nah"
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Oct 26, 2015 00:47
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