I bought a bag of Apples today

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Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:22

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 02:16

The Saurus: Dec 3, 2006; by Smythe

Thats-a mighty-a apple-a

Cooking apples are great too, you can't beat a good apple pie or an apple crumble. Make sure you soak the slices in water with lemon juice, and then sprinkle lots of brown sugar on top before you put on the pie crust.

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:25

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Op I'm going to kill u

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:37

The Saurus: Dec 3, 2006; by Smythe

Captain Yossarian posted:

Op I'm going to kill u

well hold on there for a few minutes if you could because i'm about to drop the pics of the apple bag that made this whole thing possible

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:44

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Ok yeah I can wait for that,

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:46

The Saurus: Dec 3, 2006; by Smythe

Here we are, the bag that made it all possible:

Wait...What does that say?

Do we want to learn more about apples, ~~pears and cherries~~???

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:52

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

Look at that. 1 medium apple has 20% of my daily recommended allowance of dietary fiber.

e. if you eat 50 apples a day you will get all the Vitamin A you should have

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:56

The Saurus: Dec 3, 2006; by Smythe

Leperflesh posted:

Look at that. 1 medium apple has 20% of my daily recommended allowance of dietary fiber.

It's basically the same as drinking a soda.

(seems like an apple only has 7% of your daily carbs too, guess those people were just anti-apple morons)

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:56

Clochette: Aug 12, 2013

Anyone remember the Wayside School books?

quote:

Mrs. Gorf is the first chapter of Sideways Stories From Wayside School and so introduces the characters from Wayside School. They have a mean teacher named Mrs. Gorf who, if they do something even remotely wrong or disruptive, turns them into apples. She is forced to turn them back into humans, but when they cause mischief again, she tries turning them into apples again. But Jenny holds up a mirror, turning the effect on Mrs. Gorf. Now an apple, she is eaten by Louis the yard teacher.

"If you children are bad, or if you answer a problem wrong, I'll wiggle my ears, stick out my tongue, and turn you into apples!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNGRrYPlk44

# ? Oct 30, 2015 21:57

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

Man It's good to know that childrens' entertainment is going back to the olden days of the Grimm brothers; evil ~~witches~~ teachers wind up murdered and eaten in a cannibalistic morality story.

# ? Oct 30, 2015 22:00

JB50: Feb 13, 2008

If you have trouble sleeping you can try Cinco brand Napples!
Bonus Alan Thicke endorsement.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfRQJ4tLS7I

# ? Oct 30, 2015 22:01

Ahundredbux: Oct 25, 2007; The right to bear arms

Captain Yossarian posted:

Op I'm going to kill u

good luck killing op after they eaten all these healthy apples

# ? Oct 30, 2015 22:30

The Saurus: Dec 3, 2006; by Smythe

Ahundredbux posted:

good luck killing op after they eaten all these healthy apples

# ? Oct 30, 2015 22:37

olaf2022: Feb 19, 2003; Fun Shoe

Rond posted:

Some chocolate advertised with sports star, wat

SHAQ SNAQ

# ? Oct 30, 2015 22:48

The Saurus: Dec 3, 2006; by Smythe

Why is the world so mixed up??

it should be sports stars on the apple bags and star wars on the candy bars

# ? Oct 30, 2015 22:53

Maoist Pussy: Feb 12, 2014; by Lowtax

Bapples

# ? Oct 30, 2015 23:09

The Saurus: Dec 3, 2006; by Smythe

So here's why I posted this thread in the first place:

I was going out to buy some apples. Apples and their precursors have nourished us since before we even evolved into the species we are today. A symbiotic relationship between plant and animal, organic and natural. Apples feature heavily in mythology, including of course the tree of life story. They make cider. Apples are a gift from the earth, nature's bounty.

And then someone takes them and slaps a tawdry loving character on them from a movie franchise that has become incredibly lovely. I don't care about movie tie-ins with cereal, candy and all that manmade poo poo. But the relationship between human and mother earth, between person and apple should be sacrosanct

:argh:

# ? Oct 30, 2015 23:28

Ahundredbux: Oct 25, 2007; The right to bear arms

apples have had a bad rap since the bible,. op

# ? Oct 30, 2015 23:30

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

The Saurus posted:

So here's why I posted this thread in the first place:

I was going out to buy some apples. Apples and their precursors have nourished us since before we even evolved into the species we are today. A symbiotic relationship between plant and animal, organic and natural. Apples feature heavily in mythology, including of course the tree of life story. They make cider. Apples are a gift from the earth, nature's bounty.

And then someone takes them and slaps a tawdry loving character on them from a movie franchise that has become incredibly lovely. I don't care about movie tie-ins with cereal, candy and all that manmade poo poo. But the relationship between human and mother earth, between person and apple should be sacrosanct

I think probably the idea is that kids these days would rather eat a 50 gram "mr. big" bar consisting of 27 grams of refined sugar and 13 grams of fat than eat a nice healthy delicious natural apple. So, the apple farmer consortiums asked their marketing departments to find a way to make the apples appeal more to today's lazy, screen-addicted age 5-25 bracket, and those marketing people said "hey, the kids like the star wars, right?"

So, in exchange for a hefty licensing fee to Disney, the apple folks got permission to slap some iconic star wars characters willy-nilly onto their apple bags, entirely without context or meaning, in the probably completely vain hope that somehow this will lead to spoiled brats begging their mums for a bag of apples in the produce aisle of British grocery stores, instead of the vastly more probable scenario of those children instead screeching for a Transformers-branded box of chocolate cereal or a Pokemon-flavored artificially-sweetened juice^* box.

_{_{_{*contains 10% juice}}}

Leperflesh fucked around with this message at 23:49 on Oct 30, 2015

# ? Oct 30, 2015 23:47

Ahundredbux: Oct 25, 2007; The right to bear arms

I want to make a hat out of apples and wear it and then do a ritual sacrifice with apples

# ? Oct 30, 2015 23:49

The Saurus: Dec 3, 2006; by Smythe

Leperflesh posted:

So, in exchange for a hefty licensing fee to Disney, the apple folks got permission to slap some iconic star wars characters willy-nilly onto their apple bags, entirely without context or meaning, in the probably completely vain hope that somehow this will lead to spoiled brats begging their mums for a bag of apples in the produce aisle of British grocery stores

I'm living in the United States. They wouldn't have allowed this sort of thing back in Britain. :colbert:

# ? Oct 30, 2015 23:56

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

The Saurus posted:

I'm living in the United States. They wouldn't have allowed this sort of thing back in Britain.

Woah! I had no idea you'd moved over here from Blighty. Whereabouts are you now?

# ? Oct 31, 2015 00:05

The Saurus: Dec 3, 2006; by Smythe

The Saurus posted:

So here's why I posted this thread in the first place:

I was going out to buy some apples. Apples and their precursors have nourished us since before we even evolved into the species we are today. A symbiotic relationship between plant and animal, organic and natural. Apples feature heavily in mythology, including of course the tree of life story. They make cider. Apples are a gift from the earth, nature's bounty.

And then someone takes them and slaps a tawdry loving character on them from a movie franchise that has become incredibly lovely. I don't care about movie tie-ins with cereal, candy and all that manmade poo poo. But the relationship between human and mother earth, between person and apple should be sacrosanct

Also I forgot the part at the end where everyone in the grocery store applauded me.

# ? Oct 31, 2015 00:06

The Saurus: Dec 3, 2006; by Smythe

Anyway, enough whinging. We still live in a world with delicious apples and that means things are great no matter what happens.

Let's do Apple Math with Cubone!

Cubone posted:

oh like when I cut an apple in half, how I only have half an apple afterward, because I don't know what dividing means, because I'm business octopus and I'm a big retard

WAMPA_STAMPA posted:

if u have 2 people and give each of them half they only have half an apple each not a whole apple

Cubone posted:

if you have 2 people there is more than one apple

CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:

so why would you want a frankenstein apple when a simple 1:1 apple exchange would provide more satisfaction

Cubone posted:

idk dude I'm not poly

maybe a 1:1 exchange provides less satisfaction for some people, maybe having other people involved eases the burden when your apple harvest comes up short, maybe having other people involved lets you give away excess apples from a bountiful harvest, maybe they just enjoy tasting different kinds of apples

WAMPA_STAMPA posted:

i only like black apples that are bigger than me

KirbyKhan posted:

Your whatever friend isnt as sociable as you so he only gets 1/2 an apple. You and your tumblr group have an orgy leaving you with 2.5 apples.

If you can find a person who is exactly as successful at bangin as you AND you are both poly AND the people you are with are exactly as bangin AND the people those others are as bangin ect... ect...

Theres always some shmuck who only gets an apple core. He is posting in this very thread defending his apple cream metaphore lifestyle his orchird owning girlfriend pushed him into.

Frosted Flake posted:

You are yourself an apple, which is now being divided in two for the 2 people, just like their apples are also divided, and therefore diminished for every additional partner they have.

ArbitraryC posted:

I think the idea is that while you may be getting less attention from one person you can get that attention from someone else so instead of 2 people sharing 2 apples its 4 people sharing 4 apples except it hardly ever plays out that way and usually it's more like 1 person having several apples shared with them while they don't really share with anyone else.

I've seen several poly relationships explode the second the person who didn't want to open up the relationship in the first place actually starts sharing their apple with someone else.

Cubone posted:

omg

im legitimately running out of ways to rephrase this
can i just quote myself

No need Cubone, I did that for you!

Frosted Flake posted:

Do you see how each apple is cut into equal sizes, then divided equally among the other apples?

That doesn't happen with people. People aren't coldly rational, especially not towards sex and romance.

Not everyone is equally attractive and charismatic so their apple slices are smaller and less desired and less people want to give them a slice in return.

Conversely, people who are can and will take bigger slices of more apples. They can also decide who gets how much of their apple, and withhold slices, since they get enough from other apples that they don't need reciprocity.

Cubone posted:

that graph was in response to you being too dumb to understand the apple metaphor, and not in any way a literal interpretation of the complex interaction of emotional interdependence between real people

KirbyKhan posted:

Says the 'roommate' currently receiving no apples.

Spunky Psycho Ho posted:

Apples are the sinful fruit that led to mankind's hell on earth existence

Professor Shark posted:

Apples are so great

The Saurus fucked around with this message at 01:11 on Oct 31, 2015

# ? Oct 31, 2015 01:01

Frostwerks: Sep 24, 2007; by Lowtax

Orkin Mang posted:

mr huckstalble rape whistle

its like a dog whistle, right? (the rapes are silent)

# ? Oct 31, 2015 01:27

kazr: Jan 28, 2005

check this poo poo out

apples posted:

Animal research from the University of Massachusetts Lowell (UML) indicates that apple juice consumption may actually increase the production in the brain of the essential neurotransmitter acetylcholine, resulting in improved memory. Neurotransmitters such as acetylcholine are chemicals released from nerve cells that transmit messages to other nerve cells. Such communication between nerve cells is vital for good health, not just in the brain, but throughout the body.

well hot drat, apples arent the health scourge goons had me believing

# ? Oct 31, 2015 01:30

The Saurus: Dec 3, 2006; by Smythe

About to dig in to Apple number 2 of the day, first one from the star wars pack. I got another pack of extra fancy, gala, min 2.5 inchers what can I say I know what I like.

I tried scrubbing down the outside this time so we'll see if that makes a difference. What is eating an already-peeled apple like? I've never done it.

# ? Oct 31, 2015 01:38

Clochette: Aug 12, 2013

The Saurus posted:

About to dig in to Apple number 2 of the day, first one from the star wars pack. I got another pack of extra fancy, gala, min 2.5 inchers what can I say I know what I like.

I tried scrubbing down the outside this time so we'll see if that makes a difference. What is eating an already-peeled apple like? I've never done it.

The skin is good for you. Might as well cut the crusts off your peanut butter and jelly sandwich while you're at it.

# ? Oct 31, 2015 01:40

The Saurus: Dec 3, 2006; by Smythe

Skin is definitely far superior after scrubbing, thanks for the tip Applewhite. These ones have a much softer flesh than the other one I had, almost velvetine as I bite through it. Still delicious, refreshing and juicy :thumbsup:

I do not yet feel the force.

# ? Oct 31, 2015 01:40

Maoist Pussy: Feb 12, 2014; by Lowtax

It is so weird that eating food can aid in the production of body components

# ? Oct 31, 2015 01:42

The Saurus: Dec 3, 2006; by Smythe

Maoist Pussy posted:

It is so weird that eating food can aid in the production of body components

I heard a rumour that if you don't eat any food for long enough your body won't be able to make enough of these "components" and then you might die! Is that true?

# ? Oct 31, 2015 01:50