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Hello radio friends, it's time for another night with us here at KSCARY radio. Creepytown, a peaceful community that's perfectly normal except that it's haunted and also strange things happen. Announcement from the Mayor: Citizens are reminded to drink their ghost juice. It totally won't turn you into a ghost... except it will oooooooooooo! In other news, a bird was seen flying upside down and backwards today. Do not touch the bird, the enticing, pretty bird. A new bookstore opened on Bicorn street. The books in the bookstore are evil. *theramin riff* *audible moistening of lips* Alastair Crowley Elementary school held a science fair yesterday, the winner was little Billy Jones, for his black box that spoke and laughed in the minds of the judges and showed them their worst fears. Congratulations, little Billy. We pray he will use the power of his invention wisely. This just in, a giant pat has perched in the belltower of town hall. Do not obey the giant bat ooooooooooooo! Announcement from the Fire Department: Beware of ghost fires. They are fires started by ghosts and they can turn you into a living skeleton if they touch you. In other news, aliens are also menacing the town. An alien was seen buying groceries today. It paid for its purchases in a strange, unmarked coins which cause laughter, sadness or anger when touched, depending on their denomination. The portal to Hell will be closed for renovations starting next week, cultists are advised to plan their rituals accordingly. Announcement from the Illuminati: The mysterious symbols appearing all over the town are harmless. Do not look at them or you will be turned into a ghost. This just in, little Billy has turned his mysterious black box against the students and teachers of Alastair Crowley Elementary, enslaving them and installing himself as tyrant. A howling phantom was seen in the park last night. Its screams made people's ears bleed and pets turn against their masters. A pleasant evening for all. News Update: The Illuminati have deployed their U.N. Gestapo to Alastair Crowley Elementary to restore order. Let's hope there's no need for... bloodshed. *moistens lips* A vampire man was seen doing something mundane and nobody thought it was strange, but it was strange. I'm unfazed by the news. This just in, little Billy is dead and his evil box destroyed. There will be a Dark Funeral next week at the evil cemetery. And now, for the traffic report: *crackling audio from one of Hitler's speeches* Well that's all for me. Stay safe everyone. After all if you don't, you might be stolen away by the little men who live behind your mirror. And we wouldn't want that, would we? oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! *discordant bells and fade out*
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Oct 31, 2015 03:25
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Oct 31, 2015 03:26
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annoument from dolnald trump: i will build a wall! *hair creeps imperceptibly*
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Oct 31, 2015 03:30
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*deep, ominous sound of heart beating from unknown source*
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Oct 31, 2015 03:37
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Hi KSCARY listeners, I'm long time listener but first time caller Jukeboxblues. As president of the Spook Master General Club I just wanted to say a few things for all of you listening at home. 1) Please refrain from raising the dead around Listerister Avenue as there are massive renovations happening there and it could prove troublesome for both parties involved. 2) Please Jim, stop playing your organ so god drat loud in the morning. We get it, you loving love it when the sun comes up. The rest of us are trying to sleep from a long night of bewitching the moon and cursing forests. 3) Please be on the look out for a missing hell hound. It went missing yesterday at around 4pm. You can recognize it by its disgust and hatred for members of the Holy Church, its glowing red eyes, and its collar that reads "Mr R'thy goi fuio'zo, Conqueror of the 9 dimensions" 4) Remember to clean up after yourselves when sacrificing. Last week Jimmy went to use the Sacrificial Alter of Bal'al and there was hair and dried blood everywhere. Not to mention the candles were left burning the entire time so there was a big drip that went all the way to the ground. 5) Lastly, make sure to pick up after your familiars. The haunted woods used to be a great place for all, but now there is a lot of mixed poop everywhere and its bringing up lush, GREEN grass. It's every bodies job to try and keep it as gray or black as possible. Thanks for listening, keep up the great work KSCARY!
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Oct 31, 2015 03:39
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Keep it scary out there, Creepytown. Hail satan and stay safe everyone.
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Oct 31, 2015 03:49
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*Bing bing Bing* Good evening, KSCARY family, and I mean that, you are our family by blood pact. Tonight we have some blessed news, old widow Cratchett is with child. She claims the father was a fathomless cube with an infinite number of eyes. Lets hope the little fellow takes after its mother... Turning to sports, the local Ōllamaliztli team was victorious in the state championships this weekend. We all look forward to sacrificing them to the gods at tomorrow's Blood Festival. An evil turtle was seen crossing the road on Main Avenue earlier this afternoon. The turtle talked several motorists into committing suicide before it was detained by nine men in dark suits who ushered the turtle into a mysterious van Several flying objects were seen sexually assaulting a woman in the haunted park today. The flying objects remain unidentified at this time. Do you have ghost problems? Don't despair, just soak a rose in menstrual blood and devour it during the Lunar Apospex and no spirit of any kind will approach you for an entire cycle. Reminder from the Mayor: The Mayor is your friend. All Hail the Mayor. The Mayor is your friend. *moistens lips* The Department of Public Safety wishes to remind residents not to go into the sewers after nightfall, there's no reason for this. Certainly not because the sewers are packed with the enraged souls of the recently departed oooooooooooo! All are invited to attend the Straw Fair next week at the haunted farm. Attendance is entirely voluntary. The Mayor will not use his magic wand to turn you into a ghost if you don't attend. But he actually will! And now, in international news: *Creepy music played backwards and sobbing sounds* Good night, Creepytown. Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs crawl inside your ear and take over your thoughts. *wolf howling noise*
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Oct 31, 2015 03:57
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All good citizens drink their ghost juice.
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Oct 31, 2015 04:02
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Call on line two... "Ahhh yes, Billy The Vampire and His Pornographic Superstars slip into the night as the tonwspwople stayed glued to their radios"
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Oct 31, 2015 04:03
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static noise as needle drops on vinyl record https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wU1NGA5Vykg&t=14s
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Oct 31, 2015 04:18
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Oct 31, 2015 05:25
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We have an alert from the ghost police: Be on the look out for the Echo Thief. The ghost police has received information that the Echo Thief has just entered Creepytown and is stealing echoes for his echo collection. Unless the echo comes from the mysterious interdimensional cavern beneath the haunted vase shop on Rasputin Road, that is.
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Oct 31, 2015 05:26
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im the trip hop interval
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Oct 31, 2015 05:42
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The Grey posted:We have an alert from the ghost police:  I'm really creeped out right now you guys!
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Oct 31, 2015 06:09
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Oh, it's a night vale parody. If I hadn't started listening to that show last week this thread wouldn't make any sense at all to me.
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Oct 31, 2015 06:14
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YOURFRIEND posted:Oh, it's a night vale parody. If I hadn't started listening to that show last week this thread wouldn't make any sense at all to me. But you did and it does so strap in for a spooooooooky ride!
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Oct 31, 2015 06:30
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I can't tell if you're for or against paranormal activity. I need my news biased. 
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Oct 31, 2015 06:35
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Im covered top to bottom in sheep poo poo. I was castrating sheep. Some of those beasts shoot liquid poo poo like hoses. Also sheep blood.
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Oct 31, 2015 06:50
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Im a strong boy i been hauling making GBS threads sheep all drat day.
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Oct 31, 2015 06:52
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I shampood my hair today then an hour later a sheep squirts brown muck into it.
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Oct 31, 2015 06:58
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What's a night vale
naem fucked around with this message at 20:34 on Oct 31, 2015 |
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Oct 31, 2015 08:00
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it's really weird to me when a SA thing boomerangs back to me later IRL night vale sort of started out here, and then a couple years later my IRL friend was like "yeah I'm listening to this cool podcast it's called Night Vale check it out" also, slender man
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Oct 31, 2015 08:15
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apple white is going to draw a lady with big tits and a big dick an d then the thread will turn into feminism debate central
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Oct 31, 2015 08:22
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APNjc9FGFXE
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Oct 31, 2015 08:42
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Spookyville sucks!
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Oct 31, 2015 08:43
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oh sweet, I've been wondering if we could do a Nightvale thread
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Oct 31, 2015 09:50
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i listened few episodes and it was p boring
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Oct 31, 2015 12:00
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i really like lovecraftian horror and think authors like laird barron and brian hodge are really good but then i listened to nightvale and it was loving garbage and this thread is in a similar vein
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Oct 31, 2015 13:08
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Neurosis posted:i really like lovecraftian horror and think authors like laird barron and brian hodge are really good but then i listened to nightvale and it was loving garbage and this thread is in a similar vein I was similarly disappointed in Nightvale and made this thread to vent.
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Oct 31, 2015 13:32
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i know this wasn't your intention, OP, but i'm pretty creeped out right about now!
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Oct 31, 2015 13:37
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Reminder from the Mayor He only tampered with the town's water supply for your own good. Personally I agree with him. All the bright swirling trails of color that leak off of everything are soothing to behild and so beautiful. The giant eye that whispers in my sleep is a comforting presence. I'm really downplaying how sinister our mayor is.
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Oct 31, 2015 13:42
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YOURFRIEND posted:Oh, it's a night vale parody. If I hadn't started listening to that show last week this thread wouldn't make any sense at all to me. i too can't understand concepts unless i can link them as a reference to something op it's one of my lovable and eccentric quirks as a member of this cray-yay-zeeeeee town!
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Oct 31, 2015 13:47
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Hi folks its me again, the president of Spook Masters General Club. Just a few more friendly reminders... Steve stop creating moaning golems. You are frightening the children and its outside of council regulations. The sound created from their constant moaning is at a frequency that makes it so interdimensional sound based creatures from the nether don't visit here. You are ruining our tourism industry single-handedly and we will not stand for it. Beware when visiting the dam this weekend. A leviathan has taken up residence and it really enjoys setting people on fire with its fireballs. We are waiting on our team of specialists to come in and relocate him, we thank you for your patience. Sally, can you stop making voodoo dolls of the council workers? They can't get their job done if you are constantly stretching their limbs and causing them eternal agony. Save it until after hours please, that road on Lexius really needs to be repaired after that Dinosaur got resurrected from the museum display. Lastly, Jim, this is your final warning. I know you probably thought it was hilarious playing the Dracula theme all morning but there were actual vampires writing me complaint letters. If you continue to play your organ so early in the morning you will be banished to the 17th place of existence, which I may need to remind you is entirely devoid of sound. Thanks for listening, and drink the town water. Its spooky-licious™!
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Oct 31, 2015 13:54
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It's time again to hear about one of our town's zany recurring characters. Jack Pigeonfeet, you know, the man with live pigeons for feet? Well he was walking through the forest when he accidentally stepped on a thin spot in the earth's crust and broke through. He fell down a hole to the center of the earth where the magma men live. The magma men treated his wounds and sent him back to us. They told him they might come to visit soon. No word yet from the Creepyville chamber of commerce on how they plan to court magma person tourism.
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Oct 31, 2015 14:00
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Ok who borrowed my Satan?
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Oct 31, 2015 14:58
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Creepytown elections are a blood ritual. Don't ask.
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Oct 31, 2015 14:59
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Applewhite posted:I was similarly disappointed in Nightvale and made this thread to vent. At least Zack Parsons had a story arc, NV just keeps telling the same jokes week after week 
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Oct 31, 2015 15:12
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DEAD MAN'S SHOE posted:At least Zack Parsons had a story arc, NV just keeps telling the same jokes week after week Zack Parsons's weird town stories are great and better crafted, IMO.
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Oct 31, 2015 15:32
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creepytown population: me
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Oct 31, 2015 15:37
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Time for the weather report!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9rJJSiUy0I
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Oct 31, 2015 15:43
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