I Eat It So You Don't Have To - The Military Food Thread

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > I Eat It So You Don't Have To - The Military Food Thread

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

So I'm guessing there are two eras in military rations: the era in which we understood nutrition, and the era when men sickened and died for no discernible reason?

# ¿ Nov 5, 2015 04:14

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 19:28

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

kafziel posted:

You'd need to have food before you can make packaged rations.

The sad thing is that even the worst of these rations would be considered luxurious to the average north Korean as they contain actual meat.

# ¿ Nov 15, 2015 20:27

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

MrYenko posted:

When "drinking partially distilled torpedo fuel" doesn't even rate in the top five most dangerous aspects of your life, it's time to drink some loving torpedo fuel.

I want this on a t-shirt

# ¿ Dec 12, 2015 02:35

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

Grand Fromage posted:

And not every country treats its soldiers well. I had friends who did their service in the South Korean army and it's the worst. Forty guys in one barracks room sleeping on unheated bare concrete, the food is practically nonexistent and rarely anything more than a too-small portion of white rice and some seaweed floating in water as "soup". It's survivable so that's good enough for the ROK.

That's sad and hosed up. Why is it like that?

# ¿ Dec 20, 2015 03:49

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

Halloween Jack posted:

The first thing I notice about all these meals is that they look like they were tossed onto the plate from 10 feet away.

The NIC estimates that North Korea has rejected somewhere around a quarter of young men for military service in recent years, because malnutrition from the 90s famine was so severe that it left them with mental disabilities disqualifying them for service.

When young men (and some women) are conscripted, their family pulls every possible string to try to get them into a good unit, "good" meaning one that eats. No one wants to be a commando; those units used to be prestigious but now show their patriotism mainly by starving. My understanding is that the North Korean armed forces have to scrounge for food, sometimes stealing from civilians, as a matter of course. (During the famine, military units were getting in armed confrontations with the police in order to seize food.) They have no real ability to project power beyond their borders (not with infantry or mechanized units anyway) so packaged rations would be a waste of resources even if they could afford them.

Another telling fact: the height lower limit for NK draftees used to be 4'11. This had to change because they were not getting their manpower requirements down to 4'3

Did you know that North Korea actually operates a chain of restaurants throughout SE Asia using North Korean labor?

# ¿ Jun 3, 2016 18:09

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

deadly_pudding posted:

This is maybe the wrong thread for this, but how serious actually is the North Korean army? I can't help but think of like skeleton-men in oversized uniforms, armed with weapons that are held together by scotch tape and rubber bands. Are they actually a legit threat?

The Cold War thread is the best place to ask that. But in short (heh) - a threat, definitely. They have WMDs, and the regime is, well, crazy. On the other hand, the army is so underfed that half an hour of light calisthenics causes them to collapse from exhaustion and nearly all their equipment is ancient and falling apart. The thing that really causes people to worry about NK is what would happen if the existing government collapses or has a civil war.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2016 18:35

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

Halloween Jack posted:

Fortunately, thus far North Korea's nuclear weapons program has only demonstrated the ability to annihilate tiny portions of North Korea and massive portions of North Korea's GDP.

It's true; they don't have a missile yet that can lob their bombs any distance. Nuclear weapons are mainly a threat (naturally) against NK's own people and any would-be invader.

Also I just remembered - this was posted a while ago in this thread:

AnonSpore posted:

I did a search for North Korean combat rations and came up with this:

This is Instant White Rice, which according to what I read is pre-cooked frozen dried rice. You add water and it becomes regular rice. This ration is only distributed to soldiers on important missions and those assigned to escort higher ups. The regular soldiers get salt (?!) and misu powder, which is then mixed with water.

Here is dearly departed Great Leader Comrade Kim inspecting rations together with some generals. In the center you can see the stuff that came with the rice. Nobody outside of NK knows what they are but based on Korean food culture it's probably doenjang and ssamjang, two types of Korean bean paste.

Joyous day! Great Leader Comrade has seen fit to bestow the gift of cup noodle onto the masses.

No idea on what this stuff is, but Kim seems pretty into it.

# ¿ Jun 4, 2016 00:54

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

I see what looks like tinned fish and a tin of what I'm guessing is tourist's breakfast :radcat:

# ¿ Jun 7, 2016 22:24

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

I'm guessing the tube is double-condensed milk, like cans of "Eagle Brand" double condensed milk you can find in North America (or maybe just Canada.)

I'm intrigued by the coffee candy, too. Does it have caffeine? Does it actually replace the caffeine you'd get from a cup of coffee?

# ¿ Jun 13, 2016 16:31

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

This seems aprops for this thread: how the British had the cure for scurvy, and then lost it

# ¿ Jan 14, 2017 23:40

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

I'm surprised that a pop-tart type thing could make it into one of these. I imagine a pop-tart is literally unspoilable but I've anyways thought of them as having no nutritional value.

I guess sugar and fat equal food energy

# ¿ Jan 22, 2017 23:51

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

Grand Fromage posted:

One of the things I miss about the US is there's always some friend of a friend who has a deer in a deep freezer somewhere and will happily give you a pile of venison if you ask.

I have a friend who's family throws bi-annual meat festival parties to clear their freezers of meat. Really good cooks, too. Shredded goose makes good curry.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2017 19:30

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

Grand Fromage posted:

Goose is a highly underrated meat. Cantonese goose BBQ in Hong Kong was mindblowing. Also geese are assholes so no guilt.

Good(ish) news then!

Because of climate change, snow geese populations are exploding. For a Saskatchewan resident now, you have no limit as to how many geese you can take.

# ¿ Jul 28, 2017 20:34

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

mllaneza posted:

That was a mistake. Goose is delicious, and you can save the fat and cook amazing potatoes.

This might have been a changing fashion in cooking thing

I think people used to broil geese like turkey today - only goose took much longer, and the meat was much greasier. Turkey might have been easier and smaller, not to mention lighter.

Since we're talking meat while our host eats a chinese MRE and wonders if he was expected to add noodles or something, god, this is a deathmarch of bad meat...

Seal tastes like cow that has been regularly fed fish

amazingly though it might be a extra-healthy meat, as it contains nearly all the nutrients you usually get from plants

# ¿ Jul 29, 2017 17:16

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

chitoryu12 posted:

Honestly I'll eat just about any animal you put in front of me. Not any part of the animal, just any animal.

Greenland Shark?

It has to ferment in the open, and then it still might have the aftertaste of pee

# ¿ Jul 30, 2017 21:19

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

Prism posted:

Please. H�karl is fermented in the ground (traditionally, anyway), and then hung in the open for drying. You have to cut the crust off after hanging before you eat it.

H�karl is vile.

There was a greenland shark on River Monsters the other day, I ended up reading a bit about them, Sexual maturity comes at ~120 years, sort of a Ur-goon in fish form

What I want to know is how H�karl got started in the first place. Were the Norse really that bored they had to find a way to eat an inedible fish? Was this some sort of dare food for dark winter drinking sessions?

I mean blood pudding makes sense if you have literally no other seasonings

# ¿ Jul 31, 2017 00:09

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

JacquelineDempsey posted:

They Ate It So You Don't Have To : The Horribly Poisoned Ancestors Food Thread

(seriously digging this derail though)

Speaking of...

is anybody else still using salt beef and salt pork, or is that just Newfoundland

Hard tack is still available as well, though they took lard out of the recipe, old people still complain

# ¿ Aug 2, 2017 04:08

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

Prism posted:

I don't know about making it with fat, though I would assume you're right. That said, the only traditional meal I know of that uses hardtack is chopped fish (I think cod?) and shattered hardtack, boiled together and then mixed with fried pork fat. My grandfather (who is from extremely rural Newfoundland) ate it as a comfort food.

Yeah, fish [salt cod] and brews. That's why the hard tack still exists

OK so once upon a time to preserve fish you salted it, IE cure it in salt so you could ship it to Europe. Because this was such a big thing it became part of the local culture, which still eats salt fish on special occasions like Christmas. The fish is always cod, and you have to soak it in water for 24 hours to make it edible, and it is still p salty. I'm under the impression that some Caribbean cultures still have this sort of salt fish kicking around. Back in the day, trade between the Caribbean and Newfoundland was brisk (some sort of rum for fish sorta deal.) Both fish n' brews and the salt fish dinner are salty but otherwise bland; in my family they figured out a way to balance it a bit by serving it with partridgeberry salad. A partridgeberry goes by lots of names; the Scandinavians call them ligonberries. It's a lot like a cranberry (ie a tart, gritty berry that becomes nicer when jellied) and the salad is jello and apple chunks mixed with the berry, the sweetness leavening out the tartness a bit.

Oh, and cod tongues. For some reason it's been tradition in Newfoundland for the tongues of cod to be fried up and served with fish. Neb does not like them, they are gummy and flavorless

Silver Alicorn posted:

It isn't salt pork unless you have to soak it overnight to make it edible

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdmPIpQZPRg

QFT

# ¿ Aug 2, 2017 16:39

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

JacquelineDempsey posted:

Any bodega or Latino market worth its salt () has bacalao. Big name-brand Goya often has it in the freezer section of "regular" supermarkets. I buy it to make brandade, which is a puree of (soaked) salt cod and olive oil, sometimes thickened with potatoes. It's a salty, inoffensively fishy, rich creamy dip, that seems like it should have dairy in it but it doesn't --- great for lactose intolerant folks. You dip some crusty bread in it and oh gently caress you thread now I gotta make brandade

Please post a recipe, I think I can enliven an entire Canadian province's cooking with it

# ¿ Aug 3, 2017 00:09

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

Phanatic posted:

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2015/10/brandade-salt-cod-spread-recipe.html

It's good stuff.

Thanks, gonna try this out

# ¿ Aug 3, 2017 18:18

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

Ensign Expendable posted:

Russian candy is great. I would demolish anything that came out of the Red October factory, although Rot Front wasn't bad either.

Rot front sounds like a eerily well named candy factory, like if the He 177 was actually called the 'Grief' instead of the 'Greif'

# ¿ Oct 11, 2017 21:22

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

chitoryu12 posted:

I'm also 99% sure that powder on the bags is carcinogenic.

I thought "Man from hot food fluorine pull new gamma" sounded ominous, yet appropriate

# ¿ Oct 21, 2017 21:05

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

There's at least one Canadian brewery that makes a spruce beer.

As for chicory in coffee, I heard of it though this 1942 Life article on coffee rationing.

Coffee came from south America, and the 1942 U-boat offensive against the USA put a pinch on shipping, so coffee was rationed.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2017 17:42

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

Ensign Expendable posted:

My grandmother told me about how she made "coffee" from acorns during the war.

This was a thing in Europe during WW2 as well - I can't imagine it had caffeine so I'm almost not sure why people bothered

In western Canada they sell a Polish coffee replacement made from chicory and beet root. It's not bad, though you can detect the beet flavor

# ¿ Nov 8, 2017 02:07

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

Next time, tell 'em fake crabmeat is not only yummy but also super-healthy: http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20180126-the-100-most-nutritious-foods

# ¿ Feb 10, 2018 22:20

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

angerbeet posted:

Health, but at what cost?

Actually now that you mention it how is celery so unnutritious that you burn more calories eating it than you get out of it, but celery flakes make it onto this list?

I wanna accuse the Illuminati of something

# ¿ Feb 11, 2018 00:09

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

SlothfulCobra posted:

If fake crabmeat is so good, it should just sell itself as whatever it is instead of pretending it's crab.

I don't want my lunch to be a house of lies.

Check out this dinner of lies

# ¿ Feb 11, 2018 20:12

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

Totally down with a historical cooking thread

# ¿ Feb 13, 2018 19:19

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 19:28

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

SlothfulCobra posted:

after tyrannical mismanagement by the Swiss Cheese Union

A good sentence

# ¿ Jul 16, 2018 00:38

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > I Eat It So You Don't Have To - The Military Food Thread