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Hello Goons! I live in a relatively small town of 16k on the MA/NH border. Politically, the mayoral elections usually come down to 2 or 3 votes so it's pretty 50-50. In the late 90's or early 2000's we switched from a town to a city format. There is CRAZY divisiveness in town, and it seems to stem back to the time when the "left wingers" wanted to use a rare opportunity to build a new library using a 75% grant from the state and the "right wingers" were obsessed with "LOWER TAXES AT ALL COSTS" When I moved here two years ago, I found the local facebook group immediately. I noticed the division quickly. One side would rant about left wing lunatics and talk about things in and us vs them mentality, like tea partiers normally do and the other side would explain everything with facts and details and pretty graphs like intelligent people normally do. Anyways, it became clear that there was one family in town that fostered the division. The Husband would call peoples jobs if they argued during work hours on facebook and try to get them fired. Rumors he threatened to sue people a lot if they even bothered arguing with them. After that election was over, I got more involved. I would go to the group meetups and I even organized debate gatherings during the first 3 debates this year. So, anyways, this election started up and the divisive jackasses were loud and about. By this time there were two other groups that also popped up. One was a right wing group with 600 people, and one was basically facebook GBS, while the main one was a heavily moderated "political safe zone." After the filing deadline passed in July, I noticed that 3 city council seats were going unopposed in addition to 4 other smaller seats. In early September, I decided to post on the silly Facebook GBS group that I was going to run for "Dictator, Czar, Pope, Prime minister, God king" etc etc of my city and I would promise the most ridiculous things." I was running for "all the seats." A friend made some photoshop signs. While I was doing this, I was also harassing everyone every time they started talking about "us vs them" as being divisive and asking them why they were still trying to divide us when we all loved the city and just want whats best in different ways. This got me noticed by everyone in politics locally and I made a ton of inroads during this time. The crazy family I mentioned before actually blocked me last Friday so they could continue being divisive without me making them look bad during a city council run. Anyways, I loving won. I got 32 votes to be on the Board of the Housing Authority on Tuesday....which no one was running for, and I won. I won an election based off a huge amount of bullshit and Trumpesque behavior. I also got 21 votes for Planning Board 4 year term (2nd place, which is hilarious since two people were listed as running), 12 votes for my city council district spot, 4 for the 2 year planning board spot, 3 for the school committee, 3 for Library Trustee, and 1 for a city council spot in a district I don't live in. There are a lot of people who think this is great, but also a lot of locals who are pissed off because A: They don't really know how interested I actually am, and B: I ran a ridiculous campaign promising free chocolate to everyone and PPV duels to decide leash laws. People in the USPOL thread thought I should make a thread about this. So, here it is. What should I do now?
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Nov 5, 2015 18:38
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 17:14 |
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update the spreadsheets, pillowpants
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Nov 5, 2015 18:40
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You made a mockery of the political system by running for a position nobody else cared enough to run for? I think the mockery was there before you, friend.
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Nov 5, 2015 18:47
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Do you get paid for that position you won? Did your spreadsheet expertise in anyway help you?
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Nov 5, 2015 18:51
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Do a good job in your seats, work your way up the political system using the same methods.
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Nov 5, 2015 18:56
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Heh heh yes. I like to think my endorsement helped. It got a dozen likes or so. Edit: like I said in the other thread, I bed this is how a lot of career politicians get started. They get experience and keep these seats and in 4 years they now have "Experience" as a public servant......with 2% of the vote. Jastiger fucked around with this message at 19:01 on Nov 5, 2015 |
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Nov 5, 2015 18:56
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Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you, thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot. What? Taxes, they'll be lower... son. The Democratic vote is the right thing to do Philadelphia, so do
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Nov 5, 2015 19:07
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Well, let's see what happens. We've got time. So. Day -X. You know nothing! Let's see what happens on the run up to January 1st. Do you just get told 'here's the job, do it' or do people actually introduce you to things? I am actually curious to see what small town government is like, how people are introduced to the job, etc. It's a rare chance to document that sort of thing. So. Steve Irwin. Politician Hunter. GO!
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Nov 5, 2015 19:08
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When does your House of Cards spinoff come out?
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Nov 5, 2015 19:09
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You should accept it and, depending on your feelings: 1. Do a loving amazing job at it and make things better for the small amounts of people you actually can help 2. Continue to mock the system in a Vermin Supreme type of way, with hilarity as the #1 priority, forcing the assholes who oppose you to start a recall election.
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Nov 5, 2015 19:09
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Now it's time to make good on your crazy promises. Like free chocolate? Grab a bunch of clearance candy and put it in a bowl at the Housing Office. Tell us what you promised, and we can help you figure out how to make your utopian benevolent dictatorship a reality.
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Nov 5, 2015 19:12
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You know what you have to do. 
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Nov 5, 2015 19:14
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Sometimes chocolate gives me an ulcer, how does this impact OP's free chocolate campaign promises?  I love this, OP, politics shouldn't always be stuffy and boring.
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Nov 5, 2015 19:15
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Troll everyone by unironically doing a really great job, improve the lives of the people in your community. Run for re-election and win. Run for the House of Representatives in 2024, the Senate after ~1-3 terms as a Representative. President at some point if you feel like it. Title your bestselling memoir "Excelling Just for the Lulz".
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Nov 5, 2015 19:17
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What does being a Housing Authority actually let you do? Can you make new rules for acceptable lawn ornaments or something?
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Nov 5, 2015 19:18
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Ceiling fan posted:Now it's time to make good on your crazy promises. Like free chocolate? Grab a bunch of clearance candy and put it in a bowl at the Housing Office. Tell us what you promised, and we can help you figure out how to make your utopian benevolent dictatorship a reality. I fully support this idea mentally, physically, financially, emotionally, and sexually.
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Nov 5, 2015 19:18
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What are your thoughts on Street Fighter naming conventions? Do you think that you should be called M. Bison to avoid legal troubles? Stay faithful to the original and go with Vega? Or would you rather avoid confusion and be called Dictator?
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Nov 5, 2015 19:20
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SquadronROE posted:I fully support this idea mentally, physically, financially, emotionally, and sexually. x2, do this it's great
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Nov 5, 2015 19:20
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Allocate all of the budget to building statues of yourself.
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Nov 5, 2015 19:24
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Start free Anime Night at the library.
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Nov 5, 2015 19:28
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You should absolutely take the position. Imagine what sort of hijinks and wackiness exist in the Housing Authority of a small city on the NH/MA border. Live the experience and then sell the rights to your life story to HBO or something and boom! you have your own Man of the Year meets Parks and Rec series!
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Nov 5, 2015 19:33
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OneEightHundred posted:Allocate all of the budget to building statues of yourself. This. Phone posted:What are your thoughts on Street Fighter naming conventions? Do you think that you should be called M. Bison to avoid legal troubles? Stay faithful to the original and go with Vega? Or would you rather avoid confusion and be called Dictator? Definitely Dictator. crazy cloud posted:Troll everyone by unironically doing a really great job, improve the lives of the people in your community. Run for re-election and win. ElegantFugue posted:What does being a Housing Authority actually let you do? Can you make new rules for acceptable lawn ornaments or something? But seriously this. What the hell do you do? Is it regulatory only? Do you get a budget to do stuff with? Is it focused on renting/selling of houses, if so what's the market like?
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Nov 5, 2015 19:34
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Build a gigantic dickbutt statue in place of the water treatment plant that your city desperately needs.
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Nov 5, 2015 19:34
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What powers u got? Build a shitload of section 8 housing.
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Nov 5, 2015 19:35
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Construct a guillotine and execute the richest person in town. Redistribute their wealth. Be the unopposed mayor of the city for the rest of your life.
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Nov 5, 2015 19:38
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Kafka Esq. posted:You made a mockery of the political system by running for a position nobody else cared enough to run for? Having said that, take the position and do the best drat job you can do because it's a thumb in the eye of all the "serious" campaigns where the person elected uses the position for personal enrichment and/or loving over little people. e: also take bribes from real estate people trying to grease the wheels and then use the money to throw pizza parties for disadvantaged children and still don't vote in the bribers' favor.
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Nov 5, 2015 19:40
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Ceiling fan posted:Now it's time to make good on your crazy promises. Like free chocolate? Grab a bunch of clearance candy and put it in a bowl at the Housing Office. Tell us what you promised, and we can help you figure out how to make your utopian benevolent dictatorship a reality. This
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Nov 5, 2015 19:42
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Declare every Sunday from now on 'HAIL SATAN, GLORIOUS DARK LORD AND MASTER' day. Participation is compulsory.
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Nov 5, 2015 19:48
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Well its Housing authority, so not a TON of authority. Seriously you should really do a lot to enforce tenant/landlord laws on the books. Kick the rear end of any landlord that keeps trying to put the screws to tenants. You'll be more popular and it'll be genuinely Good.
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Nov 5, 2015 19:52
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Jastiger posted:Well its Housing authority, so not a TON of authority. Do this, and also the chocolate thing.
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Nov 5, 2015 19:55
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Lemming posted:What powers u got? If you're on the Massachusetts side of the border, build a bunch of 40B housing instead.
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Nov 5, 2015 19:57
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SquadronROE posted:You should accept it and, depending on your feelings: Im actually planning on doing an amazing job, and seeing if I can offer budgeting services for free or finding a way to get a grant from the state to help people. zeroprime posted:Time to revive the Rhinoceros party, pillow pants. Promise to keep none of your promises. I might have actually said that. Pillowpants fucked around with this message at 20:05 on Nov 5, 2015 |
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Nov 5, 2015 19:59
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Captain_Maclaine posted:Do this, and also the chocolate thing. If you get a call from any sort of news media, say your plans are to turn this into a chocolate city. That always goes over well.
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Nov 5, 2015 20:00
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Pillowpants posted:Im actually planning on doing an amazing job, and seeing if I can offer budgeting services for free or finding a way to get a grant from the state to help people. A chocolate in every tenant!
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Nov 5, 2015 20:01
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Time to revive the Rhinoceros party, pillow pants. Promise to keep none of your promises. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhinoceros_Party_of_Canada_(1963–93)
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Nov 5, 2015 20:01
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OAquinas posted:If you get a call from any sort of news media, say your plans are to turn this into a chocolate city. That always goes over well. Hire @fart/DocEvil for any and all PR work.
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Nov 5, 2015 20:08
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ElegantFugue posted:What does being a Housing Authority actually let you do? Can you make new rules for acceptable lawn ornaments or something? IIRC based on what happened to Geoff Ramsay (from Achievement Hunter/RoosterTeeth Productions) they can actually kick you from your own House if you don't abide by their standards for maintaining your house. Typically these are the idiots who force you to water your lawn and have green grass in Texas instead of an economical rock garden.
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Nov 5, 2015 20:15
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Uh, do you mean HOA, home-owner associations?
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Nov 5, 2015 20:19
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Also totally congrats OP! I think if you think you can, you should totally do your best and maybe see if it can launch your political career.silvergoose posted:Uh, do you mean HOA, home-owner associations? Yes. Probably. 
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Nov 5, 2015 20:22
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No, it's the Housing Authority. The group that oversees affordable housing and section 8 in each area. I'm probably going to join my HOA too though. Oh, that wasn't directed at me.
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Nov 5, 2015 20:33
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