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  • Locked thread
Lullabee
Oct 24, 2010

Rock a bye bay-bee
In the beehive
I'm in for this year! It's been a year or two since I've done this, but I'm now back in a place I can do it again. :dance:

Dear Santa,
I'm a 23 year old with a soon to be 3 year old. I don't have any food allergies* (besides shellfish), I'm top heavy so clothes are going to be a no. Stalking me's not going to come up with much, due to being a reader more than a poster since life happened. (Also, This is the only website I use this username for, so any other Lullabee's you find aren't me). I like to read, I like local things you can't find elsewhere, Disney, girly stuff, etc. I don't have an amazon wishlist but I can make one if you prefer.

* - I do however have allergies to smoke and cats, so if you do either of those in your house, please clean them prior to sending. Both the smell of cigarettes and cat hair makes it hard for me to breath. :ohdearsass:

Dear Santee,
I can't wait to stalk you. :neckbeard:

Lullabee fucked around with this message at 07:02 on Nov 12, 2015

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Emily Spinach
Oct 21, 2010

:)
It’s 🌿Garland🌿!😯😯😯 No…🙅 I am become😤 😈CHAOS👿! MMMMH😋 GHAAA😫

Drum posted:

In so hard.

TO SANTA:
27 y/o female
I like food. Not a vegetarian, but I don't eat any sort of seafood. (Personal reasons + allergies) I like candy, especially foreign chocolates.
Detroit Red Wings fan.
Favorite animals are whales, seals, sharks, dogs and cats. I work with dogs and my sister's getting a Cardigan Welsh Corgi puppy, so anything with Cardis would be sweet.
I love the Borderlands series, but I've got the games, so that probably doesn't help much.
T-shirt: Medium/Ears pierced: Yes
I love puzzles.
NSFW is fine, just keep it on the inside of the box.
I have an Amazon wishlist if that helps.
I'm pretty easy to please.

Are you me from like a month and a half ago, before I turned 28? (Then) 27 yo woman, likes food but not seafood, Wings fan, Borderlands fan (not that that's super rare or anything)? Although I think my ears probably aren't pierced anymore, even though I got them repierced a couple of years ago.

Anyway, to my Santa, aside from the above, I have two kittens (one of whom is currently recovering from what we hope is only a kidney infection), a professional job so I don't wear T-shirts much, I love to bake but don't have time to anymore, and really, just stuff that's local to you would be cool. It's just me, the boyfriend (who's a goon anyway) and the cats, so NSFW stuff is fine, just careful on the packaging. I'd hate to scandalize the neighbors.

To my Santee, unless you say no alcohol I'm going to find mini bottles of Malort for you, so, y'know, you've got that going for you.

Pessimism
Aug 2, 2005

You can find this and other great titles at your local library
Holy poo poo I actually signed up in time!! I haven't done that in literally years.

Ok so I uhh basically like most things that terrible people like (e.g. homestuck, steven universe, undertale, stiletto nails, blended scotch). Home-made things, local things, and girly things are always highly appreciated.

I have never, ever done this and not gotten an awesome santa despite my lurking ways. The only thing I ask specifically is that you tell me who you are/where I can send a message or thank you card, so I can thank you and/or ask what the hell that horrible oozing thing is, depending on what you send.

To santee: if you don't make your likes and dislikes clear i will just send you whatever I think is funny and yes this is a written threat

CeramicPig
Oct 9, 2012
Awwwww yeah my favorite thread of the year!
I've done this 3 times and only had 1 person not post pics. My life has been pretty tumultuous lately so I need SASS to look forward to!

I moved back home after my ex decided he didn't love me anymore and kicked me out of our apt (weeee...) so please nothing NSFW on the outside but the inside will be all mine for the exploring.

-Female, 27, size xl (men's L)
-love sugar skulls, pink poo poo, zebra print, Harry Potter, Sherlock, tacky poo poo, candles, jewelry/makeup/generic girly things, and penguins
-I hate anime
-latex and pumpkins hate me (I'm wildly allergic to both)
-I'm a dispatcher for a private ambulance company but I have my degree in art (bills don't care where the money comes from, just that it comes). It's a stressful job so I guess if you wanted to sort of integrate both like an adult coloring book (that can be NSFW ironically enough) to help me de stress between pointless phone calls that would be cool. Or neat desk poo poo.
-like all people in EMS I like booze as well. I prefer vodka and will gladly try your home made swill.
- I'm not a huge fan of spicy food but I can share my treats with people around me.
-teach me about your culture and where you come from! I love things from different walks of life!!
-really I will love anything you send me because a stranger took time out of their day to send me something from the goodness of their heart.


Santee: I try to be a good Santa I'm just bad at stalking so the more you tell me about your likes/dislikes the better I can fulfill your wishes

I'm so excited for SASS thank you Tiaz!!!:neckbeard:

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler
This thread is now Stuck indefinitely.

I don't know who you people are and I have no idea why you always choose GBS to be in, but here we are.

Behave and things will go well.

If some jackass comes in and tries to gently caress things up, let me know.

Happy loving christmas

Zipperelli.
Apr 3, 2011



Nap Ghost
Oh man, here we go again! In for a 5th year!

Last year my Santa was amazing; hopefully I get lucky with another awesome santa this year as well. This'll be the first year I go international, so I'm doubly excited now!

Dear Santa:
I'm a 29 year old guy (shirt size XL), NWS is totally cool, but try not to get too crazy (ie: don't goatse the outside of the box, only the inside. Sheesh :rolleyes:) I'm a paramedic/firefighter if this is in any way helpful (local Fire/EMS patches are always awesome, and can usually be picked up for free/cheap at fire stations). I really like regional craft beers and whiskey in general (last year my santa got me a :krad: whiskey glass/serving set). A quick run down of everything else I'm into: retro vidja gamez, obscure candies/sweets, hockey (specifically the Bruins), and as of recently, I've been getting into vaping aka "the mouth fedora". I've found I'm a fan of the fruitier juices like Fruity Pebbles, etc. I enjoy cooking, I just bought my first house, My car ('07 Mazda RX-8) is my baby and gets treated as such, I play too much Playstation, spend too much time/money on my tattoos, and I love Star Wars and Marvel comics.

I post mostly in PYF so I am a terrible person may be tough to stalk, but feel free to message me when the anonymous system is up if you didn't get enough info here.

Dear Santee:
Motherfucking bees. That is all.

Zipperelli. fucked around with this message at 09:22 on Nov 12, 2015

FiftySeven
Jan 1, 2006


I WON THE BETTING POOL ON TESSAS THIRD STUPID VOTE AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS HALF-ASSED TITLE



Slippery Tilde
Another Year another SASS!

Dear Santa: I am really not fussy about what you send, as long as it is something you would want and appreciate if you got it! I am 28, Male, and from the UK. I always enjoy getting things local to wherever santa is, but if you live literally around the world from me and you would rather get me something from Amazon.co.uk, that is 100% fine by me. I would tell you more, but this is SASS. Stalk me a bit and have some fun with it :)

Merry November anyway!

nerd plus rage
May 12, 2014

It's a metaphor for something, probably
DEAR SANT

Please don't send me anything disgusting. I appreciate ugly Christmas sweaters and would probably wear one year-round if I got it. Also I'm a baker, so a cool apron would make me the most popular guy around. I'm easy to please. If you find a nerd plus rage on another website they aren't me.

DEAR SANTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I posted some Scrooge bullshit here but I changed my mind. I'm happy to stalk you :forkbomb:

edit: im male

edit: shirt size L (US)

nerd plus rage fucked around with this message at 09:54 on Nov 15, 2015

wilderthanmild
Jun 21, 2010

Posting shit




Grimey Drawer
Yay, SASSMAS rules. Signed up. I think last year went pretty well, hopefully it will go well again!

I still have and use many of the gifts I received in the past 2.

This space reserved to give information for my eventual Santa.
Edit: Getting started with a little info. Will add more before Dec 1 hopefully.
I'm a 27 year old guy living in Ohio. I like space stuff. I like football, though the Browns have made me very sad this year. My GF and I recently got a 5 month old kitten. I develop software for a living. As far as clothes, I wear a size large shirt. I like holiday socks. I'm also a pretty big hiker in the months where that is possible.

I also love good beer, especially stouts. Jerky is cool. As far as candy I prefer salty dark chocolate to milk chocolate, but milk chocolate is still okay in a pinch. I also love all the Christmassy white chocolate peppermint things.(Hint: Santee, you will get lots of these).

wilderthanmild fucked around with this message at 16:06 on Dec 1, 2015

Britt Burns
Nov 24, 2007
Biscuit Hider
How many years has this been going now? I've been involved for so long (across three usernames and two accounts!) that it seems like forever! :shobon:

This year I'm really into Magic: The Gathering so any little do-dads that go along with it would be cool (dice! counters! etc!). I love magnets, especially those that have to do with a place or event. I'll eat anything, so please don't send me poison! Nifty or weird nail polish would be keen. I like trees, cats, and crows. Pusheen is my spirit animal.

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

Viruswithshoes posted:

I just stalked them on Google Maps (y'all do that, right?)

I definitely do, which is why I have the package sent to one of my friend's offices, lol.

kalleth
Jan 28, 2006

C'mon, just give it a shot
Fun Shoe
Hurrah!

Hi Santa, once again it's that time of year. I think this might be my 4th or 5th SASS and it's always a pleasure.

Let's see.. I work in software, but that's boring so who cares. Clothing size is usually a UK XL. Because I work in Software. Y'know, because we're all fat. I have the worlds largest sweet tooth, so interesting things that i haven't tasted before (Especially if they're foreign) are always welcome.

I go camping a fair amount with Scouts (not as a scout i'm old okay wait that sounds weird stop) so camping stuff/outdoorsy is pretty spot on.

Other than that, uh, I play some games and stuff (FPS mostly) and I'm *gasp* not a fan of MMO's, fantasy RPG's or anime. So none of that. Thanks.

Crazyeyes
Nov 5, 2009

If I were human, I believe my response would be: 'go to hell'.
Was hoping it would show up and here it is. Glory be to Tiaz.

Othin
Nov 20, 2002

Hair Elf
I'm not even sure how many of these I've done at this point. It has been a lot. Anyways, anything is cool and local stuff is double x the best. If you really must send me a tranny love doll please give me a heads up since my kids love to see what gifts I get from the internet.

Thanks as always to Tiaz for harvesting our personal information and selling it to the Russians setting this up.

54 40 or fuck
Jan 4, 2012

No Yanda's allowed
ALL REGISTERED
PREPARE FOR BEES
And fun things. I love you lil baby.


Letter to Santa
I'm a lady who is married with a nice hubsand and funny dog that acts like a cat
Both hubs and I game quite a bit (super into dark souls/dark souls 2/bloodborne/fallout 4/elder scrolls). For tv we love Rick and Morty, Simpsons, bobs burgers.
I'm an artist and LOVE local art from different places and weird snacks/candy. Handmade things for my home/office are amazing.
I wear a small usually for shirts but send a medium if you're sending tops just to make things easier if you decide to do that.
I garden! Like I love gardening so lots!
I'm not a picky person Santa, I love you a lot!

Cowslips Warren
Oct 29, 2005

What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?

Grimey Drawer
Dear Santa,

I am a 34 year old goon who lives in the desert. I like cats, tropical fish, and snakes. If you want to make me super happy, a lot of cat toys are awesome! I also foster kittens so they will get lots of use (as will things like collars and leashes, etc). Handmade is awesome! I have no food allergies and I can always use aquarium supplies, like, I don't know, air stones or pumps or fish food.

I wear a 2XL if you want to clothe me, Santa!

Love,
CW



Dear Santee,

I have had lots of Santees in the past who never posted poo poo and only asked for gifts. If that happens again this year, I will spend $10 at the dollar store on the stupidest poo poo I can find, like tampons or pregnancy tests, and that will be your present because you need to give me something to stalk!

Love,
CW

Tendai
Mar 16, 2007

"When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber."

Grimey Drawer
Man, I'm already scoping out ideas for the traditional "Yes New Mexico has products other than meth" part of my gift for my santee :dance: I get so excited about SASS each year.

I may do an entire package around the sort of theme of the "Instructions for a Help" series here on SA so, uh, be warned.

CatStacking
Jan 9, 2010

~A Purely Preposterous Pussy~
Oh my gosh, I've been obsessively checking for this since November hit. I'm in. Real infotainment to come.

Afgad
Dec 24, 2006

Ask me about delicious soy products.
Dear Santa,

This is my first year participating in SASS. I hope it will be memorable!

I am a 29 year old social scientist (psychology/sociology), and I love learning about new people and cultures. If you are part of a non-American culture/nationality, or a member of a subculture, please send me something you feel is iconic about your culture along with an explanation of why it is meaningful to you and to your fellows. I'm looking for things not commonly known or understood by outsiders, something that can give me insight into a part of the world I've not experienced before.

Which is to say, nothing about SA please. New cultures.

Alternatively, feel free to express your creativity and surprise me with something else. I just wanted to give you some ideas. I would prefer something cheap with a lot of sentimental value over something expensive but that I could purchase myself.

I'd prefer not to receive food. Please no alcohol, I would just give it away. Clothes are probably not a good idea, as anything I would wear would be outside of the price range.

Dear Santee,

I'll get you something nice, hopefully something you would not be able to acquire on your own, at least conveniently.

Droogie
Mar 21, 2007

But what I do
I do
because I like to do.




Tendai posted:

Man, I'm already scoping out ideas for the traditional "Yes New Mexico has products other than meth" part of my gift for my santee :dance:

Did you move here or have I suffered an aneurysm?


I am SO loving STOKED for SASS. It's legitimately the most excited I get for xmas time, and the only part of xmas that's okay to talk about before Thanksgiving. I've been doing this for so many god drat years that I don't even remember how far back it's been. I also have been :f5: GBS for the last several days.

SANTA:
I'm a married guy, will be 30 by the time you show me your package, and live in the sand wastes of Albuquerque, New Mexico. Size L punk, media junkie, animal control officer. I love books, video games, movies, art. My interests and hobbies are quite varied, but if it has to do with animals, art, cooking or classic vehicles, it's probably good.
I love to create art, I do acrylic paintings, I love to cook and work on my vehicles. I love anything that a lot of people would consider morbid, my home is decorated in animal bones and such. But not in a weird way, I promise. Tastefully morbid. But I love to be surprised. I'm fairly easy to stalk and My amazon wishlist is easy to find and offers a good gadgety, mediay glimpse into my interests. No content filter necessary. I'm down to chat over the messaging system and I'm very responsive. I currently work graves, so I have lots of time on my hands.

Oh, and apologies for my low post count, I mostly lurk and then come out of hiding for this once a year. So again, if you have questions, seriously just ask.

SANTEE:
You better loving be prepared. Ask any of my previous santees. They'll fuckin' tell you what's what.


vvv

LivesInGrey posted:

:tinfoil: I'm also in Albuquerque....
:hfive:


:siren:RE-SASS UPDATE:siren:
New santa? Thank you. Above still stands, but tl;dr - I included an amazon list to fluffy bunnies, which will help, but I'm a punk nerd who likes oddities and bones and art and art stuff in addition to whatever insight amazon gives you.

Droogie fucked around with this message at 22:22 on Jan 16, 2016

Lord Zedd-Repulsa
Jul 21, 2007

Devour a good book.


:tinfoil: I'm also in Albuquerque....

Dear Santa,
No food unless you message me about ingredients first. It's easier and safer that way. Sweet alcohols and ciders are awesome. I love creepy things, stupid TV shows (Grimm, The Blacklist, Blindspot), cats, weird local or cultural items, and anything that makes my disabled rear end more comfortable. I am a 30 year old married man, wear L in shirts, and I can give links to my Amazon and Steam wishlists if you want a place to start from.

I'm sorry that most of my recent posts are in the RPG-playing section of SA.

Tendai
Mar 16, 2007

"When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber."

Grimey Drawer

Droogie posted:

Did you move here or have I suffered an aneurysm?
I've been moving here on and off for the past decade but I've been up near Taos for the last 3 (or 4 maybe) years now.

davmillar
May 22, 2012

GO BIG OR GO HOME
Gravy Boat 2k
I'm addicted to graph paper, and dot grid. Also Sharpie pens, stickers, and weird or kitschy stationery. Also art supplies and office supplies in general.

I'm gay and super into men in uniform but please no Bad Dragon toys as I no longer have an rear end in a top hat. Maybe just a sexy firefighter calendar?

I consider myself a foodie and am not a vegan because bacon, honey, and leather goods are nice. Spices are cool. Jerky is ok. Bacon is the best.

I've always wanted a 3D printer. But I have realistic expectations about this experience.

I have two cats and that's the limit at my apartment complex, so if you send me cats, please teach them to bark first.

I live in Texas so please, don't send me any clocks.

My shirt size is 2XL and I really like plaid shirts with pockets.

davmillar fucked around with this message at 05:58 on Nov 13, 2015

tiaz
Jul 1, 2004

PICK UP THAT PRESENT.


Zelensky's Zealots

gnarlyhotep posted:

This thread is now Stuck indefinitely.

I don't know who you people are and I have no idea why you always choose GBS to be in, but here we are.

Behave and things will go well.

If some jackass comes in and tries to gently caress things up, let me know.

Happy loving christmas

thanks gnarlyhotep you're the best :buddy:
I suggest jan 10-15 2016 as a good time to unsticky the thread

various posted:

500 errors

I still have no goddamn idea where this is happening. It should be emailing me when it does now, though, so I should have a fix for you by tomorrow, assuming someone runs into a thing that generates 500s today. In accordance with the laws of nature, of course, they immediately stopped being experienced as soon as proper logging was enabled.

CatStacking
Jan 9, 2010

~A Purely Preposterous Pussy~
Okay, so here comes that infotainment you were promised.

I'm a 26 year old lady thing, from Ontario, Canada. This'll be my 5th or 6th time participating in SASS. I've only been dicked over once, which was last year's Lightning Round, but then the person I was sending to was amazingly kind and sent me something simply out of the goodness of her heart. :3: I hope that's the one and only time that I will be made to question the kindness of internet strangers stalking me.

My favourite things in the world include: Raccoons, Seth Rogen (dude is my future husband, he just doesn't know it yet...), morbid and creepy things (I'm applying to college to be a Funeral Director), horror movies/books/media, animals in general, makeup and fashion accessories, and art. Adult colouring books are the greatest things ever invented. Gravity Falls is a nifty show.

Feel free to send NSFW stuff, as long as it's contained to the inside, as my post office is run by lil' old ladies and I don't want to traumatize them.

Definitely, if there's something cool or unique about your place of residence, send it! I love trying different foods and candies from different locations. Art related stuff is always a big favourite of mine, weird kitschy stuff, seriously. I'm really easy to deal with. I live with my boyfriend and he likes robots, so robots are always good.

Uhm...what else? I play World of Warcraft with my boyfriend, and his bro + sister in law. We play Horde. The family that raids together stays together. Taurens are the greatest and I refuse to play anything else. Moo. We also play Dungeons and Dragons as a family unit, so dicebags, dice sets, anything like that is cool.

I love to write stories and draw pictures, to varying degrees of success. Art supplies, colouring books, sketchbooks, notebooks, other people's art for my walls...these are all Good Things (tm).

Tea is good. Coffee is good. Candy is good. Food in general is good.

The only no-go's for me are things made with sesame oil, since I'm super allergic.

I'm sorry that this list is so long. Pretty sure if you go into my post history, my last posts are from last year's SASS thread. I wanted to give you some stuff to work from. Once we've been assigned peoples, let me know via messages or PMs if you want any of the following:
Amazon Wishlists
Steam Wishlists
or more, I dunno, what else could you possibly need? Stalk away, my friend.

Shirt size: Ladies XL (Men's L)
Pierced ears: Yes
Fears: The inevitability of death. And the dark.

To My Santee:
My personal approach to gift giving is to give something that the person would want but very clearly has a piece of the giver involved. Do I mean personality wise, or physical pieces? I guess you'll just have to find out. Please, whoever you are, make sure you post some sort of wishlist or list of interests in this thread. Are you my Santee? Who knows? You'd better post it, just in case.

Also: BEES. :ohdearsass:

Edit:
Santa, just to add, I just got a new Nintendo 3DS. So that's exciting if you want to get me anything 3DS related including a carry case or styluses. That could be cool!

CatStacking fucked around with this message at 08:31 on Nov 21, 2015

Troll Bridgington
Dec 22, 2011

Keeping up foreign relations.
The best loving time of the year! :neckbeard:

corgski
Feb 6, 2007

Silly goose, you're here forever.

Drae SATAN:

I am a 27 year old lady with a boring office job in a boring town in a boring state doing boring IT and boring project management. Let us not speak of this again. I drink a lot, mostly good beer, occasionally whisky. When I'm not working I climb rocks and harbor persistent fantasies of finally learning aerial silks or other acrobatics. Food is the best thing ever, although I'm not too into sweets unless you're in North Carolina and can get me chapel hill toffee. My ears are not pierced, and I have a mild nickel allergy so if you're getting me jewelry stuff, be aware. In the unlikely event you need my shirt size, I'm on the border of a ladies M/L (mens S/M.)

Things I like:
- Incense and essential oils
- witchy aesthetic stuff (not wicca tho)
- scarves and shawls (see above)
- greek mythology
- handmade doohickeys and artwork
- going camping in the middle of winter during a blizzard
- Disney World, especially the PeopleMover and Epcot in its entirety
- Red Sox/Pats/Bruins
- My lil Fiat 500 Abarth

Things I dislike:
- Novelty T-shirts, I never wear them did you know!?
- most drug stuff (unless you're sitting on 100 hits of LSD or some such insanity)
- lingerie (Just no. Don't do it. It's creepy. I don't know you.)
- dairy products

If you're considering sending me NSFW stuff please don't. Y'all had your chance to mail me a bag o' dicks and ya blew it.

Let me know if you need amazon wishlists or steam wishlists or modcloth wishlists or really just any wishlists.

Dear TORTURED SOUL:

I still have, in a box somewhere, double bagged and untouched, the thong that was gifted to me in a previous secret santa exchange. I will only have to assume that if you don't post in this thread, it's because you really just want to be a sexy beast. Don't make me send it to you: post in this thread.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U2CePgS1Rc

corgski fucked around with this message at 14:25 on Nov 14, 2015

Potrzebie
Apr 6, 2010

I may not know what I'm talking about, but I sure love cops! ^^ Boy, but that boot is just yummy!
Lipstick Apathy


Can't wait to stalk my prey...

WindowLiquor
Feb 8, 2011

Oh no no, this simply will not do!
Guess I should post a 'list' too.

SANTA
I'm a 27 year old Dutch girl. I have no allergies that I know of. I love dogs, American Football and crafting. No NSFW stuff please. Despite my avatar, no MLP stuff either please. I'm not known with the name WindowLiquor anywhere else but here.

SANTEE
I hope you have a sweet tooth.

WindowLiquor fucked around with this message at 10:27 on Nov 13, 2015

Cowslips Warren
Oct 29, 2005

What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?

Grimey Drawer
Dear the Giver of Santa,

Do we have any bronys left on the forums? I will put my hat in the ring to volunteer to be a Santa to a brony because I got my niece some MLP things for Xmas and she just told me "that stuff is for babies."

Good news, I have a smart niece. Bad news, I have MLP stuff.

Maybe my Santee will end up with it either way.

Afgad
Dec 24, 2006

Ask me about delicious soy products.

davmillar posted:

I live in Texas so please, don't send me any clocks.

I was born and grew up in Texas. What does being in Texas have to do with clocks? I feel like I missed out on some sort of important thing.

Is it because life is slower paced? Please explain.

Kitchner
Nov 9, 2012

IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER
Clapping Larry
Hang on, wait.

Do people actually send vibrators and lingerie to female goons taking part in secret santa? That's pretty creepy even for goons.

Not a Children
Oct 9, 2012

Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Afgad posted:

I was born and grew up in Texas. What does being in Texas have to do with clocks? I feel like I missed out on some sort of important thing.

Is it because life is slower paced? Please explain.

They can all tell what time it is by reading the shadow of Big Tex

Crazyeyes
Nov 5, 2009

If I were human, I believe my response would be: 'go to hell'.
Writing a quick thing which I will edit/add to over time.

I am a 25 y/o man-baby who lives in the suburbs.

-I am very active in the BSA and camp frequently so cool outdoors stuff is great. Knives, tools, gadgets, gizmos, literally anything made from ripstop nylon, you get the gist.

-I love cooking and post fairly regularly in a few gws threads on subjects of particular interest.

-I like food so if you live somewhere with good food, local treats are never refused. If you live in the dirty south send me a bottle of your favorite bbq sauce.

-NWS is ok but not on the outside of the box. I have a gf, though can't say she'd react well to finding out the internet sent me/us sex toys (though it'd be funny as hell so feel free so long as they are still in original, unopened packaging).

-I don't wear shirts with decals/logos so don't bother.

ThinkGeek, pretty much anything on there.

Santee:

May God have mercy on you, for I shall not.

davmillar
May 22, 2012

GO BIG OR GO HOME
Gravy Boat 2k

Afgad posted:

I was born and grew up in Texas. What does being in Texas have to do with clocks? I feel like I missed out on some sort of important thing.

Is it because life is slower paced? Please explain.

Because this.

eta:

tl;dr posted:

Police say they may yet charge him with making a hoax bomb — though they acknowledge he told everyone who would listen that it’s a clock.

davmillar fucked around with this message at 14:38 on Nov 13, 2015

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

cuntvalet posted:

To My Santee:
My personal approach to gift giving is to give something that the person would want but very clearly has a piece of the giver involved. Do I mean personality wise, or physical pieces? I guess you'll just have to find out.

*Rummages through pantry; slowly withdraws jar of fingernail clippings; turns to face mixing bowls and preheated oven*

Xarthor
Nov 11, 2003

Need Ink or Toner for
Your Printer?

Check out my
Thread in SA-Mart!



Lipstick Apathy
Deeeeeeeeeeeear Santa,

I'm a big hipster loser fart bag who collects records and occasionally DJs. If you get me any of the albums off my Amazon wishlist I would be quite happy. http://amzn.com/w/18ZA23NPW849G

If you are a particularly :homebrew: Santa, I could really use the two DJ needles at the bottom of the list.

If you HATE MUSIC and want to do something else, that's fine too. I'm cool with alcohol, food, crafts, nudity, games, cash, prizes, whatever. Shirt size: men's small. Happy SASSmas! :sassargh:

-- -- -- -- --

EDIT -- I'm going to be moving on or around December 31st. If you happen to be a tardy Santa and don't think you can get my package to me by the 31st (or are shipping from overseas and it may take longer) contact me through the SASS website and I'll give you my new address.

Xarthor fucked around with this message at 21:34 on Nov 24, 2015

Sundae
Dec 1, 2005
Totally in.


Dear Santa,

I am game for whatever you have to offer, though I secretly hope that you are from far away, preferably somewhere I've never been like Mars or West Islington.

Here is the list of things you (pretty please) should not do:

It is illegal to receive alcohol by mail in my state, and your box will likely never reach me if you include any in it.
Do not send any drugs that may be legal in your area or associated paraphernalia, because they are likely illegal here as well and will probably result in the same box confiscation.
NSFW things are perfectly okay provided they are fully enclosed, otherwise they will not be delivered to me. I live among the Amish and they don't take kindly to that sort of nonsense.
Please do not put the SA Grenade on the outside of the box. It was probably just one random chucklefuck at the USPS that caused this, but the last time someone did that, I had to schedule a police interview session in order to pick up my box.

That's about all, I think. Anything else should get through just fine. :)

Merry Christmas!



quote:

Do people actually send vibrators and lingerie to female goons taking part in secret santa? That's pretty creepy even for goons.

Does this surprise you given someone literally sent a box of poo poo one year?

tiaz
Jul 1, 2004

PICK UP THAT PRESENT.


Zelensky's Zealots

corgski posted:

Drae SATAN:

:monocle:

Confidential to bill gates: your IPv6 records do not have PTRs and you should probably fix that
(not that I'm one to talk)

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corgski
Feb 6, 2007

Silly goose, you're here forever.

Kitchner posted:

Do people actually send vibrators and lingerie to female goons taking part in secret santa? That's pretty creepy even for goons.

It's goons. I'm amazed no TFR poster has mailed someone a body yet.

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