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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gi_IGuKx4U Two women enter, one woman leaves Two women enter, one woman leaves TWO WOMEN ENTER, ONE WOMAN LEAVES! Welcome to the GDT for UFC 193: Beyond Thunderdome, 10 p.m. ET Saturday, Nov. 14, only on PPV! Don’t post streams, or else Aunty Entity will put you to work in the pig-poo poo refinery. The UFC returns to Melbourne, Australia for one hell of a card, featuring the first women’s title fight main and comain event ever. Here, decisions are listening, and will take the first man who makes bitch-rear end lady sounds. Without further ado, let’s meet the road warriors who will be fighting for our base entertainment. Oh, what a day! WHAT A LOVELY DAY!  For the Women’s Bantamweight Championship  Ronda Rousey (C) as Imperator Furiosa vs.  Holly Holm as The Splendid Angharad The only reason I’m writing anything about Ronda Rousey is out of respect and formality. You all know who she is. There will be people posting in this thread who we’ve never once seen post in the monthly UFC threads. She’s a crossover megastar, in movies with the Rock and the original Mad Max himself, Mel Gibson. Her performance in her sport speaks for itself, as an undefeated finishing machine with only one fight going longer than a round. The bronze medalist is looking to prove once and for all that grappling trumps striking tonight, and further cement her already obvious legacy as the greatest woman bantamweight. The only reason I’m writing anything about Holly Holm is out of the fact that I don’t want to look like a complete jackass in the extremely unlikely event she manages to win. Holm is also undefeated as a mixed martial artist with a lot of flashy headkick KO wins outside of the UFC, but this is literally her first MMA fight against an opponent not practically designed to all but ensure a Holm win. That’s right: Holly Holm is more or less going from hand-selected cans to Ronda Rousey. Holm is also a champion boxer, but under extremely dubious circumstances: her 33-2-3 record is also strewn with absolute cans, and her boxing career took place almost entirely in her hometown of Albuquerque against women not acclimated to the altitude in front of hometown judges. It is highly telling that the only discussion around her chances of a win have been around whether or not she will be able to eek out a decision through sheer cowardice. She will be dearly missed. For the Strawweight Championship  Joanna Jędrzejczyk (C) as Nux vs.  Valérie Létourneau as the blinded Bullet Farmer If you’re coming into this thread on sheer Rousey hype, Joanna Champion is another fighter you absolutely must watch. While not quite as dominant as Rousey — her split decision win over Claudia Gadehla was at least somewhat contentious — Joanna is nevertheless an extremely skilled, kicking her rear end across Europe and the world en route to multiple Muay Thai championships before breaking into MMA. She has a nasty habit of occasionally gouging eyes, which is extremely frustrating as it’s utterly unnecessary due to how thoroughly she’s outclassed most of her competition. Her last two wins have been standing TKOs against the fence deep into the round after her opponents just outright broke down under an onslaught of laser-accurate strikes. Létourneau is taking this fight on slightly short notice after a planned Jędrzejczyk-Gadelha rematch fell through due to injury. If you had to qualify it, Valérie is probably not as hopelessly outclassed as Holm, but her chances of victory aren’t much better. She fought most of her career as an undersized bantamweight or flyweight and has still lost to almost every good or name fighter she’s faced, but despite being choked out by Roxanne Modafferi to get into the Ultimate Fighter house, her path to the UFC opened up once more with the addition of the strawweight division. There she’s gone undefeated at 115 pounds, albeit against competition that ranged from “extremely, indescribably awful” to “kind of all right I guess, probably.” She’s fun enough to watch but there’s not really much to talk about. She’s a decent striker going up against a world-class one. Heavyweight  Mark Hunt as Mel Gibson Mad Max vs.  Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva as Blaster This is a slightly unwanted rematch of a fight of the year that ended in a perfect draw, which is now a Draw/No Contest Paradox due to Bigfoot being a steroid cheat. It’s also the closest we’ll ever get to Max vs. Blaster, in that a short, silent, insane and incredibly religious adopted Australian will beat the everloving poo poo out of a developmentally disabled giant. Root for Mark Hunt, he is awesome and survived an unimaginably terrible childhood to be as well-adjusted as humanly possible. Middleweight  Uriah Hall as Tom Hardy Mad Max vs.  Robert Whittaker as Goose Uriah Hall has a hell of a highlight reel from the Ultimate Fighter, but you’d never guess it from about half of his actual UFC fights. The TUF finalist has a bad habit of freezing up and contributing absolutely nothing to a fight as if he is haunted by the apparition of Much like Goose, Whittaker is the second-ranking Australian of the main card who is surprisingly cool for what he is, but will still likely end up dead in the street one day. After his run on the Australian-vs-Britain Ultimate Fighter, he had an extremely lackluster run at welterweight, interspersing unmemorable decision wins with bad losses (and a single amazing beatdown of noted rear end in a top hat Colton Smith that almost redeemed it all.) It seemed he had a pretty bad chin and wasn’t destined to make any waves, but since moving up to middleweight, it’s almost like watching another fighter. He’s coming off of back-to-back dominant KO wins, where he showed a really keen understanding of movement that should actually spell a lot of trouble for Hall, if he’s able to avoid eating a random headkick thrown with no setup. Heavyweight  Stefan Struve as those stilt guys in the swamp that turned out to be what’s left of the Green Place vs.  Jared Rosholt as the weird deformed midget guy with the telescope Stefan Struve owns. The tallest fighter in the UFC, his weird flailing style has lead to him being on both sides of some of the coolest KOs in the heavyweight division. After getting his jaw broken in two by Mark Hunt, he discovered that he had the heart from the end of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” and went away for medical leave. It was all downhill from there. On his way back to the cage, he suffered an anxiety attack in the locker room mere hours before he was scheduled to fight Matt loving Mitrione and was pulled from the fight. In his infinite wisdom, Joe Silva booked the clearly nervous young man concerned for his health on the main event of a much bigger pay-per-view card against Alistair Overeem, his home nation’s greatest MMA superstar. He was of sound-enough nerves to step into the cage, but seemed to forget that punching, kicking or doing anything else was allowed in an MMA fight and was thusly knocked out. He then returned to fight a tepid decision against an aging mummy. Not the movie kind of mummy that is cursed with terrible magic powers, just the regular kind of dusty preserved corpse. Unless he’s seeing a really good sports psychologist and has had something click in his head, it is probably time for Stefan Struve to hang them up. Thankfully for his health, if Struve is destined to lose Saturday night, it will be in a very gentle and boring way. Jared Rosholt is a heavyweight wrestler from the fine people who brought you Johny Hendricks, Competitive Steak Eater. He invariably fights with a wrestling-based gameplan that can be described as “turgid,” “boring” and “uncomfortably sweaty.” He has a single TKO win in the UFC against another soft-bodied chunky guy unironically nicknamed “Cuddly Bear,” and he didn’t even have the decency to spare us the patented 15-minute-wrestling-snoozefest Jared Rosholt Experience by doing it with more than two minutes left in the third and final round. I really do try to be at least a little unbiased and talk about each fighter’s good points when possible, but I really can’t here guys. I hate Jared Rosholt with my life. God bless you Oleksiy Oliynyk please return soon. OTHER poo poo TO WATCH Prelims, 8 p.m. ET on Fox Sports 1 Lightweight Jake Matthews vs. Akbarh Arreola Welterweight Kyle Noke vs. Peter Sobotta Light Heavyweight Anthony Perosh vs. Gian Villante Flyweight Richie Vaculik vs. Danny Martinez Early Prelims, 6:15 p.m. ET on UFC Fight Pass Middleweight Dan Kelly vs. Steve Montgomery Welterweight Richard Walsh vs. Steve Kennedy Welterweight James Moontasri vs. Anton Zafir Flyweight Ben Nguyen vs. Ryan Benoit Official Weigh-Ins, 5 p.m. ET Friday. Nov. 13 http://www.ufc.com/ufc-193-official-weigh-in Official MMA Snack Rating: Dinki-Di Meat & Vegies dog food 
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Nov 13, 2015 04:10
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anyone attending this - can i use ringside/backstage passes if they arent in my name. workmate has two and cant fly atm so it will cost me flights only to go. please advise.
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Nov 13, 2015 04:15
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Great OP
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Nov 13, 2015 04:29
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If you're interested in finding out a little more about the guys on the undercard as authored by me go here https://midcardmadness.wordpress.com/ufc-193/ In brief Nguyen / benoit, vaculik / Martinez and Jake Matthews / arreola should all be interesting. Marching Powder fucked around with this message at 04:38 on Nov 13, 2015 |
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Nov 13, 2015 04:36
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Marching Powder posted:If you're interested in finding out a little more about the guys on the undercard as authored by me go here https://midcardmadness.wordpress.com/ufc-193/ This is good.
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Nov 13, 2015 04:42
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I'm glad the main card is stacked and the undercard slightly forgettable because it's hard to sit down for an entire afternoon and watch an entire UFC these days.
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Nov 13, 2015 05:07
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please cancel hunt/bigfoot
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Nov 13, 2015 05:17
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cams posted:please cancel hunt/bigfoot LobsterMobster has an interesting idea for how Holm can (maybe) put up a fight against Rousey and I'd encourage people to check it out
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Nov 13, 2015 05:29
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I think we all agree that Holm's only path to victory is extreme cowardice.
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Nov 13, 2015 05:37
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cams posted:please cancel hunt/bigfoot I Believe In Mark Hunt
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Nov 13, 2015 05:43
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Does anyone in Melbourne this weekend know of any amateur fight events scheduled around town? I figured it must be like Wrestlemania Weekend that the z-leagues would swarm the city, but googling didn't turn up anything and now my brother is pushing to go to a goddamn soccer game
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Nov 13, 2015 06:04
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awww drat, I was hoping for a preparable snack. Oh well, the apocalypse probably isn't too far away.
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Nov 13, 2015 06:10
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We're going to this, and we're still only 80% sure that it's on Sunday, not Saturday.
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Nov 13, 2015 06:14
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I've been saying for a long time that if/when Rousey loses it will probably look like a not-great Machida fight, like Machida-Henderson. Holm actually has the tools to do that.
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Nov 13, 2015 06:17
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CommonShore posted:I've been saying for a long time that if/when Rousey loses it will probably look like a not-great Machida fight, like Machida-Henderson. Holm actually has the tools to do that. Based on her last two fights, those tools are loving rusty.
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Nov 13, 2015 06:18
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-Atom- posted:there's so much weird peripheral poo poo going on aside from the fight on Rousey's end, on top of everyone saying The Things They Say about how unstoppable a fighter is seems like the perfect amount of things to make MMA™ happen in the most MMA™ way. Friendly reminder that I'm right about everything -Atom- fucked around with this message at 07:05 on Nov 15, 2015 |
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Nov 13, 2015 06:35
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I actually met and trained with Ben Nguyen one time. He's a super nice dude, he whooped my rear end for a good twenty minutes and I thanked him for it that's how good a guy he is, go for him.
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Nov 13, 2015 07:01
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Just finished watching all the embedded. Bigfoot doesn't think Holly has a chance at all either.
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Nov 13, 2015 09:46
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CommonShore posted:I've been saying for a long time that if/when Rousey loses it will probably look like a not-great Machida fight, like Machida-Henderson. Holm actually has the tools to do that.
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Nov 13, 2015 09:47
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DumbWhiteGuy posted:LobsterMobster has an interesting idea for how Holm can (maybe) put up a fight against Rousey and I'd encourage people to check it out i could have sworn i read another version of this article enlisting the help of a mountain cat or something CommonShore posted:I've been saying for a long time that if/when Rousey loses it will probably look like a not-great Machida fight, like Machida-Henderson. Holm actually has the tools to do that. this only makes a little bit of sense if ronda didn't have the ability to submit holly the instant the fight hits the mat and the tools to instantly get holly to the mat whenever she gets tired of her tai-bo
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Nov 13, 2015 10:37
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Nice piece on the undercard, Marching Powder. Looking forward to Hunt getting another win.
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Nov 13, 2015 12:33
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i don't know why there are so many words here because there are exactly 2 people on this card, joanna and mark hunt. and if hunt loses i hope the new australian prime minister has the decency to immediately carpet bomb the arena
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Nov 13, 2015 12:50
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Northjayhawk posted:awww drat, I was hoping for a preparable snack. Oh well, the apocalypse probably isn't too far away. Absolutely nothing is stopping you from cracking open a nice can of wet chunk dog food.
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Nov 13, 2015 14:15
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I'll rephrase: Holm has the least absence of tools for that gameplan.
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Nov 13, 2015 14:31
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CommonShore posted:I've been saying for a long time that if/when Rousey loses it will probably look like a not-great Machida fight, like Machida-Henderson. Holm actually has the tools to do that. Machidas style wasnt just about running away, his fights looked like that because his opponents had to respect his ability to close the gap with 1 punch knockout power. So the whole time they had to be wary about footwork and distancing or theyd get owned like Bader. I dont think thres any female fighter who poses that threat, if there were Rousey probably wouldve lost to them already because she usually starts every fight by carelessly wading into the gap and eating a couple right hands, which never phase her at all because these girls dont hit hard let alone while moving backwards and thrown off their timing If holm can get rousey to respect her hands then maybe but thats a pretty tall order just looking at her last 2 fights
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Nov 13, 2015 14:50
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Bluedeanie posted:Absolutely nothing is stopping you from cracking open a nice can of wet chunk dog food. I was thinking canned chili is basically the same thing
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Nov 13, 2015 14:59
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fylKUwktZkk Everything about this interview with Hunt was great.
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Nov 13, 2015 15:57
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Fozzy The Bear posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fylKUwktZkk Dickson you're a crook.
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Nov 13, 2015 16:19
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Mark Hunt is happier than I've ever seem him outside of time like the Sefo fight.
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Nov 13, 2015 16:20
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manyak posted:Machidas style wasnt just about running away, his fights looked like that because his opponents had to respect his ability to close the gap with 1 punch knockout power. So the whole time they had to be wary about footwork and distancing or theyd get owned like Bader. I dont think thres any female fighter who poses that threat, if there were Rousey probably wouldve lost to them already because she usually starts every fight by carelessly wading into the gap and eating a couple right hands, which never phase her at all because these girls dont hit hard let alone while moving backwards and thrown off their timing machida also had a lot of great body kicks and knees that aided in his cowardly flight
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Nov 13, 2015 16:21
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Fozzy The Bear posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fylKUwktZkk This interview has it all and I was laughing out loud at the thought of some poor USADA guy having to watch Mark Hunt poop
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Nov 13, 2015 16:33
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 Rousey is going to lose. e. or get arrested. e. or fail a drug test.
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Nov 13, 2015 17:06
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Of all the potential catastrophes that could derail Ronda's career I'd have to give best odds to something involving the notorious turd golem with the button mash fighting style
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Nov 13, 2015 17:24
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Or break that curse like it's Miesha Tate's arm.
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Nov 13, 2015 17:25
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Triticum Guzzler posted:i don't know why there are so many words here because there are exactly 2 people on this card, joanna and mark hunt. and if hunt loses i hope the new australian prime minister has the decency to immediately carpet bomb the arena you no longer love Struve ? granted the man he's fighting is the worst thing to ever happen to the heavyweight division, but I think Struve coming away with a stoppage victory is possible.
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Nov 13, 2015 18:05
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mark hunt's career renaissance is the best thing to happen to mma since machida took the title imo. i hope he wins.
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Nov 13, 2015 18:15
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I would really like to see Struve fight just about anyone in the heavyweight division he hasn't already fought. Struve/Bigfoot would be cool.
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Nov 13, 2015 18:23
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I'm surprised betting sites aren't taking bets on which minute of the first round Ronda will win it in. Ronda is going to gently caress Holm up, y'all.
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Nov 13, 2015 18:33
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I too want to see Rousey end another woman's life this Saturday. The video game covers worry me because I'm dumb. That's all just fake superstition stuff, right? Right?? 
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Nov 13, 2015 18:36
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Electric Lady posted:I too want to see Rousey end another woman's life this Saturday. yes. Forrest and Lesnar lost after being on the cover but guys like Anderson and Jones won some of their most prominent matches afterwards. Anderson didn't run into Chris Weidman until a year after the game had been out, same with Jones running into that pregnant lady over a year after EA Sports UFC had been released. I suppose Ronda Rousey might die on the set of her next film but Holm is Going To loving Die on Saturday. guaranteed.
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Nov 13, 2015 18:45
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