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Jukeboxblues posted:I am a dimensional wizard of sorts, so I feel qualified in talking about this subject. What are you qualifications? I am sure they are, at most, slightly below mine on this subject. well I have listened to uncounted hours of Zappa and Beefheart, and I am immune to all forms of hucksterism that you perform
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Nov 16, 2015 07:53
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Gaunab posted:This is a hot topic for a lot of people. Did the ancient egyptians look like christian bale/joel edgerton with a spray on tan? Ever see a Copt? Like that. They weren't black, we've got paintings of how they thought Sub-Saharan Africans looked. Spoiler alert: The Ancient Egyptians were really, really racist.
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Nov 16, 2015 07:56
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gnarlyhotep posted:well I have listened to uncounted hours of Zappa and Beefheart, and I am immune to all forms of hucksterism that you perform Listen buddy, this isn't the comment section of an "Amazing Atheist" video. This is me dropping some pretty sweet ancient history bombs on everyone here, and I would appreciate it if you didn't use your position of power to undermine me. Just because you are jealous of my sweet dimensional travelling abilities and my awesome perception of time... Now if everyone else could donate at least $5 to my patreon so I could continue scrying up these ancient mysteries that would be fantastic. I am nearly at the milestone where I summon a real life dragon to wipe out ISIS!
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Nov 16, 2015 08:01
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gnarlyhotep posted:actually that was the romans you loving idiot lol drat
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Nov 16, 2015 08:03
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Nation posted:lol Sorry to be so harsh bra You are loved
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Nov 16, 2015 08:07
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Nov 16, 2015 08:11
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gently caress Amarna Kings, Horemheb4Lyfe.
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Nov 16, 2015 08:14
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gnarlyhotep posted:Sorry to be so harsh bra You cant play with my emotions like this
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Nov 16, 2015 08:16
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I managed to source up the original photo that this was from BEFORE it was heavily edited in an attempt to hide Egypts dark past. Here is the original image. Decide for yourselves, people! 
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Nov 16, 2015 08:19
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They had smooth bronze booties and kohl-black eyes and Rick James wigs. Yowza!
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Nov 16, 2015 08:24
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Stargate is a documentary
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Nov 16, 2015 08:31
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Imagine that you are at the place the middle east, Europe, and Africa meet. Then all these people from those lands gently caress. The conclusion is what Egyptians look like.
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Nov 16, 2015 08:42
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KiteAuraan posted:Ever see a Copt? Like that. They weren't black, we've got paintings of how they thought Sub-Saharan Africans looked. Spoiler alert: The Ancient Egyptians were really, really racist. You were actually fairly correct with the first part of your post, then whiffed it on the latter. Their history with Nubia kind of invalidates the claims of racism.
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Nov 16, 2015 08:50
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KSOMA3QBU0
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Nov 16, 2015 08:50
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random things about egyptians they shaved their heads to prevent lice. they also brushed their teeth and washed their hands regularly jews didnt build the pyramids, they were built 1000 years before the israelites even existed. the labor force were egyptian peasants who provided labor as their tax for 2-3 months during the year, when the nile was flooding and there was nothing they needed to do in their fields anyway. though the labor was mandatory and the work extremely dangerous -- new workers would start out in the quarries and then move up from there to only slightly less dangerous work -- there were a number of advantages for the average peasant, including that they got to eat meat several times a week, all their food beer housing and medical care was provided for, and that all people who died during the construction were buried with dignity near the pyramid they were constructing, which actually meant a lot to them spiritually. they were also organized into units which competed against each other to reach certain construction goals at which they would be rewarded with extra beer and stuff. they would also gang tag their construction areas with their crew names like "friends of khufu" and "the king's drunkards". excavations have found from the construction sites with all kinds of mundane managerial-level communications, like asking for more bakeries to be built or complaining about how drunk the workers were at one point ancient egypt passed a law requiring women's bodies to lay for three days before being taken for mummification because the priests were molesting the corpses e: as time went on, a lot of pharaohs would have construction materials from older tombs and monuments from kings removed and re-used in their own buildings, which makes for a hell of a lot of fun for egyptologists to have to sort thru
whoflungpoop fucked around with this message at 08:57 on Nov 16, 2015 |
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Nov 16, 2015 08:53
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Please don't contradict the Bible. It's offensive to me.
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Nov 16, 2015 09:04
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Ancient Egyptians had antibiotics. Well, okay, they used mold for medicinal reasons, but it was the right kind of mold.
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Nov 16, 2015 09:10
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whoflungpoop posted:random things about egyptians "aliens"
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Nov 16, 2015 09:16
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anime
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Nov 16, 2015 09:44
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Gaunab posted:This is a hot topic for a lot of people. Did the ancient egyptians look like christian bale/joel edgerton with a spray on tan? they were birds
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Nov 16, 2015 10:09
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whoflungpoop posted:random things about egyptians they brushed their teeth but they still had really bad teeth because it turns out when you live in a pre-modern desert before you can wrap everything in plastic sand gets in all your loving food
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Nov 16, 2015 10:11
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Hector Beerlioz posted:Stargate is a documentary 
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Nov 16, 2015 10:29
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ancient egyptians were brown people, and there's no way they could've made the pyramids, so it's definitely aliens
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Nov 16, 2015 12:16
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Egyptians were not like Americans. If the Hyksos invaded us, we'd beat the poo poo out of them.
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Nov 16, 2015 12:18
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They kind of famously left a bunch of pics of themselves why dont you take a look at those? Theyre pretty accurate even tho theyre stylized. Btw i saw a lot of old films about rome as a kid and made it to my late teens thinking romans looked like aristocratic british people. Cuz thats who all the actors were in old rome movies. Then I finally made the rome/modern italy connection and felt dumb as hell. You cant make as direct a comparison between modern and ancient egyptians though. A lot of folks have been through that area in the intervening millenia, not least the romans themselves. And more recently arabs, of course. While what we'd consider roman stock has been considerably altered by the whole fall of the western empire thing the timescale is an order of magnitude shorter and the newly inteoduced genetic material not as diverse. Thus there aren't many folks that look classically ancient egyptian anymore whereas roman stock has bred truer, to use a slight misnomer. Anyway, wordswordswords. Jeans!
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Nov 16, 2015 12:18
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KiteAuraan posted:Ever see a Copt? Like that. They weren't black, we've got paintings of how they thought Sub-Saharan Africans looked. Spoiler alert: The Ancient Egyptians were really, really racist. Ehhh, caricaturing people by how they looked is not (necessarily) the same as being super racist. I mean, there was at least one Nubian pharoah in the New Kingdom if I recall correctly. Modern racism is pretty much a 19th century American and European invention 
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Nov 16, 2015 12:21
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 would
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Nov 16, 2015 12:24
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feedmegin posted:Ehhh, caricaturing people by how they looked is not (necessarily) the same as being super racist. I mean, there was at least one Nubian pharoah in the New Kingdom if I recall correctly. Modern racism is pretty much a 19th century American and European invention 25th Dynasty. It was all Nubian. Nubia finally conquered their old enemy Egypt. But yeah, they weren't really racist, they just drew caricatures of everyone around them so they could divide into "Culturally Egyptian" and "Not Culturally Egyptian" and the Nubians kind of danced in and out of that, depending on whether Egypt ruled Nubia or Nubia ruled Egypt and the Pharaoh at the time. Nubians were usually viewed better in Egyptian eyes than Libyans, Caananites and Assyrians. Oh and gently caress Hyksos, gently caress them so hard. Sea People too.
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Nov 16, 2015 12:24
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feedmegin posted:Ehhh, caricaturing people by how they looked is not (necessarily) the same as being super racist. I mean, there was at least one Nubian pharoah in the New Kingdom if I recall correctly. Modern racism is pretty much a 19th century American and European invention A popular motif in Egyptian art was the king crushing foreigners (especially the "Asiatics" under his feet. I believe the oldest Egyptian artefact documenting Egyptian statehood, the Narmer palette, depicts the king killing a foreign prisoner, accompanied by symbols of Egypt crushing the vile nations surrounding it. Egyptians also liked to portray inferior peoples on floors so they would be continuously trampled under Egyptian feet. Maybe they weren't racist in the modern colloquial sense, but they were clearly ethnic supremacists, with periods of foreign invaders temporarily co-opting this tradition.
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Nov 16, 2015 12:29
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steinrokkan posted:A popular motif in Egyptian art was the king crushing foreigners (especially the "Asiatics" under his feet. I believe the oldest Egyptian artefact documenting Egyptian statehood, the Narmer palette, depicts the king killing a foreign prisoner, accompanied by symbols of Egypt crushing the vile nations surrounding it. Egyptians also liked to portray inferior peoples on floors so they would be continuously trampled under Egyptian feet. Maybe they weren't racist in the modern colloquial sense, but they were clearly ethnic supremacists, with periods of foreign invaders temporarily co-opting this tradition. and actually they were superior people, thats why we have the pyramids etc.
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Nov 16, 2015 12:33
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steinrokkan posted:
this just proves evolution is a lie tbh
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Nov 16, 2015 12:36
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Nation posted:and actually they were superior people, thats why we have the pyramids etc. "...and a few sandstone tomb guardians to keep my superstitious serfs from breaking in...there! Send for my cats! They are to be strangled for their journey to the afterlife, where my incorporeal form will wear the finest silks and drink from jeweled chalices and pet their pretty ghost fur forever."
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Nov 16, 2015 12:39
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steinrokkan posted:A popular motif in Egyptian art was the king crushing foreigners (especially the "Asiatics" under his feet. I believe the oldest Egyptian artefact documenting Egyptian statehood, the Narmer palette, depicts the king killing a foreign prisoner, accompanied by symbols of Egypt crushing the vile nations surrounding it. Egyptians also liked to portray inferior peoples on floors so they would be continuously trampled under Egyptian feet. Maybe they weren't racist in the modern colloquial sense, but they were clearly ethnic supremacists, with periods of foreign invaders temporarily co-opting this tradition. Egyptian supremacists (nationalists), sure, at least in state-sponsored official monuments that are specifically intended to tell everyone how awesome the Egyptian government is, but that's not racism, that's nationalism. They were just as happy to crush people who looked exactly like they did.
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Nov 16, 2015 12:44
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The real brown-nosers, the more favored workers and higher ups, had the compulsory paralyzation of the pineal gland, which would give them an expression on their face that would include a depression in the middle of the eyebrows (the look of being angry or stressed out or confused and distant), a hanging open mouth that they would breathe through, and their posture would be lurched forward with their shoulders just sort of hanging. They wouldn't feel empathy or get tired.
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Nov 16, 2015 12:50
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Cleopatra was born about 2084 years ago. At that point the pyramids were already 2500+ years ago.
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Nov 16, 2015 12:56
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FreudianSlippers posted:Cleopatra was born about 2084 years ago. At that point the pyramids were already 2500+ years ago. we get it, europe is really old. but its all about the USA now
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Nov 16, 2015 13:00
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SpicyMeatSandwich posted:doesn't the bible say that they have donkey Ds? Herodotus says they do everything backwards. The women carry things on their shoulders and the men carry things on their heads.
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Nov 16, 2015 13:01
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FreudianSlippers posted:Cleopatra was born about 2084 years ago. At that point the pyramids were already 2500+ years ago. And she was basically the end product of centuries of Macedonian incest.
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Nov 16, 2015 13:08
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35. Concerning Egypt itself I shall extend my remarks to a great length, because there is no country that possesses so many wonders, nor any that has such a number of works which defy description. Not only is the climate different from that of the rest of the world, and the rivers unlike any other rivers, but the people also, in most of their manners and customs, exactly reverse the common practice of mankind. The women attend the markets and trade, while the men sit at home at the loom; and here, while the rest of the world works the woof up the warp, the Egyptians work it down; the women likewise carry burthens upon their shoulders, while the men carry them upon their heads. They eat their food out of doors in the streets, but retire for private purposes to their houses, giving as a reason that what is unseemly, but necessary, ought to be done in secret, but what has nothing unseemly about it, should be done openly. A woman cannot serve the priestly office, either for god or goddess, but men are priests to both; sons need not support their parents unless they choose, but daughters must, whether they choose or no. 36. In other countries the priests have long hair, in Egypt their heads are shaven; elsewhere it is customary, in mourning, for near relations to cut their hair close: the Egyptians, who wear no hair at any other time, when they lose a relative, let their beards and the hair of their heads grow long. All other men pass their lives separate from animals, the Egyptians have animals always living with them; others make barley and wheat their food; it is a disgrace to do so in Egypt, where the grain they live on is spelt, which some call zea. Dough they knead with their feet; but they mix mud, and even take up dirt, with their hands. They are the only people in the world- they at least, and such as have learnt the practice from them- who use circumcision. Their men wear two garments apiece, their women but one. They put on the rings and fasten the ropes to sails inside; others put them outside. When they write or calculate, instead of going, like the Greeks, from left to right, they move their hand from right to left; and they insist, notwithstanding, that it is they who go to the right, and the Greeks who go to the left. They have two quite different kinds of writing, one of which is called sacred, the other common. 37. They are religious to excess, far beyond any other race of men, and use the following ceremonies:- They drink out of brazen cups, which they scour every day: there is no exception to this practice. They wear linen garments, which they are specially careful to have always fresh washed. They practise circumcision for the sake of cleanliness, considering it better to be cleanly than comely. The priests shave their whole body every other day, that no lice or other impure thing may adhere to them when they are engaged in the service of the gods. Their dress is entirely of linen, and their shoes of the papyrus plant: it is not lawful for them to wear either dress or shoes of any other material. They bathe twice every day in cold water, and twice each night; besides which they observe, so to speak, thousands of ceremonies. They enjoy, however, not a few advantages. They consume none of their own property, and are at no expense for anything; but every day bread is baked for them of the sacred corn, and a plentiful supply of beef and of goose's flesh is assigned to each, and also a portion of wine made from the grape. Fish they are not allowed to eat; and beans- which none of the Egyptians ever sow, or eat, if they come up of their own accord, either raw or boiled - the priests will not even endure to look on, since they consider it an unclean kind of pulse. Instead of a single priest, each god has the attendance of a college, at the head of which is a chief priest; when one of these dies, his son is appointed in his room. 38. Male kine are reckoned to belong to Epaphus, and are therefore tested in the following manner:- One of the priests appointed for the purpose searches to see if there is a single black hair on the whole body, since in that case the beast is unclean. He examines him all over, standing on his legs, and again laid upon his back; after which he takes the tongue out of his mouth, to see if it be clean in respect of the prescribed marks (what they are I will mention elsewhere); he also inspects the hairs of the tail, to observe if they grow naturally. If the animal is pronounced clean in all these various points, the priest marks him by twisting a piece of papyrus round his horns, and attaching thereto some sealing-clay, which he then stamps with his own signet-ring. After this the beast is led away; and it is forbidden, under the penalty of death, to sacrifice an animal which has not been marked in this way. 39. The following is their manner of sacrifice:- They lead the victim, marked with their signet, to the altar where they are about to offer it, and setting the wood alight, pour a libation of wine upon the altar in front of the victim, and at the same time invoke the god. Then they slay the animal, and cutting off his head, proceed to flay the body. Next they take the head, and heaping imprecations on it, if there is a market-place and a body of Greek traders in the city, they carry it there and sell it instantly; if, however, there are no Greeks among them, they throw the head into the river. The imprecation is to this effect:- They pray that if any evil is impending either over those who sacrifice, or over universal Egypt, it may be made to fall upon that head. These practices, the imprecations upon the heads, and the libations of wine, prevail all over Egypt, and extend to victims of all sorts; and hence the Egyptians will never eat the head of any animal.
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Nov 16, 2015 13:12
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Also he wrote about four times as much as that about how weird the Nile is.
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Nov 16, 2015 13:14
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