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I got laid off with no warning on Friday that's probably the worst thing I've seen at work. Also lol funemployment has been cool
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Nov 17, 2015 04:11
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Nooner posted:I got laid off with no warning on Friday that's probably the worst thing I've seen at work. Also lol funemployment has been cool This happened to me the weekend before i was gonna use some of the vacation i'd just earned, they rescinded the vacation time too
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Nov 17, 2015 04:16
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Dave_Indeed posted:In college I worked at Sears in the fitness department. I was J chillen on a treadmill and this nerd mother gently caress starts looking like he's got to sneeze, then just falls into a bunch of poo poo, shaking like a fool. I flew into action. Needless to say I looked fly as hell. Anyhow, I dragged this bitch away from the snow blowers and made some girl call 911 like a hero. good job thats about all you can do #truehero
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Nov 17, 2015 04:17
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I had to call the cops on some hosed-up kook who was digging in the tree planters outside the building. He told me he was "looking for all the metal in the dirt", and I would've been more sympathetic because he was obviously not, uh, well but he was wearing a utilikilt and I saw his dick. Three squad cars came and took him away
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Nov 17, 2015 04:18
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hamburger posted:I had to call the cops on some hosed-up kook who was digging in the tree planters outside the building. He told me he was "looking for all the metal in the dirt", and I would've been more sympathetic because he was obviously not, uh, well but he was wearing a utilikilt and I saw his dick. Three squad cars came and took him away good job thats about all you can do #truehero
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Nov 17, 2015 04:19
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hamburger posted:I had to call the cops on some hosed-up kook who was digging in the tree planters outside the building. He told me he was "looking for all the metal in the dirt", and I would've been more sympathetic because he was obviously not, uh, well but he was wearing a utilikilt and I saw his dick. Three squad cars came and took him away That souns like a miner crime, lol! e:looking in dirt, that is ee:for metal
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Nov 17, 2015 04:21
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A guy punched me in the face once it owned. I milked it and took a 5 day weekend.
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Nov 17, 2015 04:21
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EugeneJ posted:So wait - did he fall, or did the pipe burst The pipe burst, knocking him off the ladder.
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Nov 17, 2015 04:22
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Nooner posted:I got laid off with no warning on Friday that's probably the worst thing I've seen at work. Also lol funemployment has been cool great job #sarcasm well i guess maybe everything happens for a reason good luck godspeed etc.
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Nov 17, 2015 04:22
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SneakyBeef posted:The pipe burst, knocking him off the ladder. So he was pretty much a goner in about half a second. Wonder if any of his co-workers still use the same shortcut.
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Nov 17, 2015 04:23
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A kennel covered in green diarrhea. Twice in one night. I love my job, but dogs can be awful.
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Nov 17, 2015 04:28
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dad gay. so what posted:great job #sarcasm well i guess maybe everything happens for a reason good luck godspeed etc. You're the bad guy jedi to my good guy geordi. I guess what I'm saying is you can strike me down but I still have a cool rear end visor and also the holodeck 
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Nov 17, 2015 04:33
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Nooner posted:You're the bad guy jedi to my good guy geordi. I guess what I'm saying is you can strike me down but I still have a cool rear end visor and also the holodeck Hey nooner I could probably hook you up with a job if you live in Saskatchewan
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Nov 17, 2015 04:36
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i guess nooner doesnt know ive had him on ignore for a month. its been a fun eperience and ive never done it with anyone else i just really hate him, but i hope he gets a new job or whatever.
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Nov 17, 2015 04:38
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Seriously why isn't pulling a lockout off power equipment a crime
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Nov 17, 2015 04:41
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Nooner posted:I got laid off with no warning on Friday that's probably the worst thing I've seen at work. Also lol funemployment has been cool Sorry to hear that. Good luck in your job search. I once worked in a plus size ladies clothes store. It was generally an OK job. Pretty much like any clothes shop, except the drat clothes wouldn't stay on the normal size hangers. However, working in the changing rooms meant you'd see some sights. Lots of women would come out naked, clothes in hand, to ask me for another size. On more than one occasion we had massive women in complete denial about their size screaming at us because they couldn't do up a zip. Which meant I had to struggle to contain their ample flesh and do up their zipper, just to stop them yelling at me. We often had women sneaking items of underwear into the changing rooms, which you're not really supposed to try on. They'd then throw them on the floor if it didn't fit them and I'd have to pick worn panties up and put them back on the shop floor. One woman had obviously stolen some underwear, and left her own behind, including giant briefs with a dirty sanitary towel still inside them, as well as lovely stains.  We also had an incredible amount of women changing their kids lovely diapers on the floor, and leaving plastic sacks full of poo poo on the floor for me to throw out. Weirdly, this stuff didn't happen when I worked in a normal clothes shop. It must have just been a trashier clientele.
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Nov 17, 2015 04:41
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Big Centipede posted:I saw a dude running a lathe get a loop of cut titanium wrapped around his thumb and then caught on the spindle. It literally fileted his thumb like a fish. They ended up amputating it. Some guy here once severed his achilles tendon this way cutting stainless bar. I wasn't there at the time.
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Nov 17, 2015 04:49
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LadyAmbien posted:Holy poo poo you guys, I meant worst as in funniest. This is traumatic. Look, if you didn't want to be the conduit to horror, why are you having Lowtax's baby?
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Nov 17, 2015 04:53
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Drunk Nerds posted:Look, if you didn't want to be the conduit to horror, why are you having Lowtax's baby? Listen man, I.... I will think about that question and get back to you.
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Nov 17, 2015 05:00
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I saw Lowtax kissing Shmorky Claus.
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Nov 17, 2015 05:01
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I was gonna post about the time some guy poo poo on our floor but nothing I've seen can compare to human fireball or microwaved baby.
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Nov 17, 2015 05:04
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LadyAmbien posted:Listen man, I.... I kid. Let's hear it for Lady Ambien, she's alllright. The weirdest thing I ever saw on the job was a guy masturbating a retard...
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Nov 17, 2015 05:14
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I used to volunteer at at thrift shop and one time some old lady decided to try on clothes in front of me. Her skin looked like melted, leathery cheese and her boobs looked like hosed up flap jacks.
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Nov 17, 2015 05:18
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Drunk Nerds posted:
That is weird
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Nov 17, 2015 05:20
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Jukeboxblues posted:I used to volunteer at at thrift shop and one time some old lady decided to try on clothes in front of me. Her skin looked like melted, leathery cheese and her boobs looked like hosed up flap jacks. Gotta give her props though, she obviously did not give a gently caress.
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Nov 17, 2015 05:21
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as i was unloading a van of sausages it shifted into drive somehow and drove into the loading bay on its own crushing some guy who worked theres foot. he had to have it amputated and to this day i wear it around my neck for goodluck.
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Nov 17, 2015 05:22
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Return Of JimmyJars posted:Worked with some sparkys at an industrial job site where somebody removed the lockout on a big rear end 3 phase setup and cooked 2 guys. On the bright side they died instantly. On the down side they looked like uncle Owen from the first Star Wars what is a sparky? I also don't know wtf a 3 phase setup is, jabroni
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Nov 17, 2015 05:31
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My uncle ran a snow cone machine + cotton candy stand at pow-wows. He's pay us 1/4 of minimum wage to work for him and I was around 9 so that seemed like a million dollars. I spent most of my time chasing off obviously hungry kids and getting cheated by adults. It sucked and he sucked and I bought frybread with whatever coinage I made from him. He's dead, his kids suck, c'est la vie. Thots and Prayers fucked around with this message at 06:41 on Nov 17, 2015 |
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Nov 17, 2015 05:45
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Isaac posted:That is weird Get this: he works from home! 
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Nov 17, 2015 05:49
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That Robot posted:what is a sparky? I also don't know wtf a 3 phase setup is, jabroni Its guy talk for electrician.
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Nov 17, 2015 06:00
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An iron worker somewhere up above me dropped a spud wrench (essentially a metal spear) and it landed next to me. We became friends!
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Nov 17, 2015 06:10
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I saw this guy washing his feet in the bathroom sink. Sitting on the counter, both feet in the sink. It was pretty silly. Maybe he pooped on his feet. Maybe I pooped on his feet.
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Nov 17, 2015 06:12
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Sudden Loud Noise posted:I saw this guy washing his feet in the bathroom sink. Sitting on the counter, both feet in the sink. It was pretty silly. Some devout muslims do this before they pray. I think its a good idea. Get my feet feeling fresh after lunchtime. Learned this when i was always seeing this butcher with no shoes on the bathroom
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Nov 17, 2015 06:24
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one time when i was babysitting one of my nephews i made him some cereal and that rear end in a top hat didnt drink the milk from the bowl. motherfucker
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Nov 17, 2015 06:31
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your posting OP
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Nov 17, 2015 06:51
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Worked in both state corrections and now federal corrections for a few years each. I can honestly say state has the straight crazies and fed inmates are more chill. Fed inmates: One guy in this late 20s starts a fight with this old con who is in his 40s. They fight for a bit and the old guy wears down the younger kid then puts him in a headlock. To seal his victory he bends down and bites the younger guys eyebrow off and spits it on the floor. They shook hands, cleaned up the mess, walked off. Oh and left the eyebrow. State inmate: Some random guy just gets bored one day and takes a staple and sharpens it on the cement. Proceed to slit his sack from top to bottom because he didn't think the pictures in the medical books he had were correct. When he finally tells staff 3 days later he grabs his sack to show us and squeezed to hard to where a testicle popped out. So many stories about the weird poo poo inmates at the state do to their junk. Only met one fed inmate who cut the whole sack off, put it in a milk carton and handed it to a CO.
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Nov 17, 2015 07:07
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Kizurue posted:State inmate: Some random guy just gets bored one day and takes a staple and sharpens it on the cement. Proceed to slit his sack from top to bottom because he didn't think the pictures in the medical books he had were correct. When he finally tells staff 3 days later he grabs his sack to show us and squeezed to hard to where a testicle popped out. New orange is the new black is shaping up to be a monster.
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Nov 17, 2015 07:11
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drinking a big gulp of some spiced rum concoction at 9 in the morning
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Nov 17, 2015 07:14
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mdm posted:drinking a big gulp of some spiced rum concoction at 9 in the morning do ye work on a pirate ship me harty. yarrr!!! once i went a whole day with a testicle hanging out the side of my Pluto costume
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Nov 17, 2015 07:25
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Isaac posted:New orange is the new black is shaping up to be a monster. Honestly only every watched the first episode. Find it hard to get off work only to watch work. From the one episode it was pretty spot on, just minus the naked women everywhere doing it. Then again I have only worked at male institutions and it's either super rare anymore or they are pretty damned discreet.
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Nov 17, 2015 07:27
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