|
Abraham Maslow is a famous psychologist. He is well known for developing the Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. But did you know he also developed one specifically for conservatives? I just uncovered this secret and now it is my duty to share with you the hidden gem that is the Maslow Hierarchy of Conservative Needs. This is the graph. Looks complicated I know. How does one read such a complicated graph? Well simply put the lower "needs" on the bottom of the pyramid must first be met before the higher needs above it can be obtained. This graph shows 5 clearly defined needs a conservative must meet. Let's inspect a little further. 5) Racism - Racism is the most important of the lower tier needs. Without racism a conservative can not achieve self actualization, or in their particular case obesity. This is the most core need that needs to be met for a conservative to function in society. It is worth noting that racism also permeates through to the rest of the needs. For example, a conservative can not accept Jesus Christ as their savior without first being racist. Jesus being white washed to a hippy white man is a core belief for these people and to think anything otherwise is disingenuous. For a conservatives racism needs to be met they must express it often and loudly. Taking every opportunity they can to input racism into their every day life, they can not function without it. It is the foundation of their world view. 4) Guns/Freedom - Guns and freedom go nearly hand in hand with racism. It's a very difficult task separating the two needs. For instance, guns are impressively tied to racism in the conservatives world view. Without guns it would be impossible for them to protect themselves against those to whom they are racist. Any mention of even the thought of taking their guns away immediately sets a conservative into defensive mode. A conservative fears that without their guns that THE BLACKS and THE MUSLIMS will take over this country. To be free means to own a gun. One is not free unless they can own something specifically designed to blast a black persons skull to pieces. A conservative doesn't understand the double edged sword that is freedom; if everyone is free to do what they want even THE GAYS can marry each other. However, that will not stop a conservative from clearly stating they are not free simply because they were asked to donate a dollar to help starving children. 3) Jesus - Jesus is the first of the higher tier needs in the hierarchy. After racism and guns have been achieved the conservative is finally free to dedicate their life to Jesus. This means cherry picking things from the bible that appeal to their racism (see: 5). Jesus was probably one of the most socialist figures in history, so the irony is lost on them. In this context Jesus and the Bible are not actually used as references. A conservative essentially takes their own opinions influenced by racism and freedom and then fits Jesus into that narrative. Would Jesus be packing a glock 9mm if they were around back then? You bet your rear end he would. Probably would've saved him from being crucified to be honest. 2) Voting Against Self Interests - Most conservatives exist in the heart of America. The Bible Belt, the farm land. Because of this they generally fall on the lower end of the spectrum for income. Due to the conservative's essential bottom tier needs they must unfortunately side with the only political party that also happens to want to gently caress them economically. By consequence the conservative is put in a position where they need to choose between hating ethnics or having an easier life with help from others. Of course the decision is obvious. Racism and Freedom rank as a lower tier need for the conservative and therefore they must vote against their own self interests in order to ensure that the bottom of their pyramid does not fall out below them. 1) Obesity - Once a conservative has met all the requirements in their pyramid below it they are free to obtain Obesity. Obesity is the utmost form of self actualization as it is the personification of everything American. By becoming obese the conservative can show the rest of the world they live a fulfilled lifestyle. One could argue that obesity happens naturally in the conservative and isn't something that needs to be "met". Though it is believed that the lower tier needs are so prevalent so early on in life that there is hardly anything left to achieve for them after the first 6 years of their life. Do not be fooled. Any obese conservative has definitely already met and ingrained the lower tier needs into their life. Obesity and laying back and doing nothing but complain is what a conservative strives for in life.
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:01
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 23, 2024 14:34 |
|
|
so honest abe is a republican, i take it
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:01
|
|
|
Is Kansas the most fulfilled place in America?
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:02
|
|
|
Maslow??? Why would I listen to a filthy PolacK??
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:02
|
|
|
symbolic posted:so honest abe is a republican, i take it Abe Lincoln was actually incredibly racist.
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:11
|
|
|
Windows is GBSing really hard now, wants that Star
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:11
|
|
|
Wow you owned these republicans hard great work op
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:13
|
|
|
Bet there ends up being a thread in SASS about this thinking it's completely serious.
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:17
|
|
|
Windows 98 posted:Abe Lincoln was actually incredibly racist.
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:18
|
|
|
i unironically agree op but didnt you beat someone wit a shovel??
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:20
|
|
|
A misanthrope posted:i unironically agree op OP's hierarchy of needs 
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:22
|
|
|
I don't understand this shovel joke at all...
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:22
|
|
|
E Equals MC Hammer posted:I don't understand this shovel joke at all... kinda interested in that one, myself.
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:24
|
|
|
Boo! Biased liberal media. 
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:24
|
|
|
E Equals MC Hammer posted:I don't understand this shovel joke at all... I battled 15 conservatives to the death in a shovel royal rumble on WWE Smackdown
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:25
|
|
|
Very carefully
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:26
|
|
|
Windows 98 posted:I battled 15 conservatives to the death in a shovel royal rumble on WWE Smackdown
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:32
|
|
|
E Equals MC Hammer posted:I don't understand this shovel joke at all... He's a badass that bragged about beating up a kid to a pulp with a shovel
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:35
|
|
|
Beef Turret posted:He's a badass that bragged about beating up a kid to a pulp with a shovel He has some badass tattoos as well
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:39
|
|
|
I just realised my girlfriend bouhjt me blue flavour cigarettes instead of reds. Im gonna have to smoke a hundred of these.
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:40
|
|
|
If I was a conservative none of this would have happened because I would have owned a gun and wouldn't need to use melee weapons imo
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:41
|
|
|
Once i gave my friend money to buy me smokes and he came back with blues instead of reds and that was pretty much the end of our friendship. I was so angry at him for getting the wrong ones and i didnt have a strong cigarette to calm me down.
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:42
|
|
|
Why do lighter cigarettes even exist like duhhh let me breathe in poison smoke but dont let it have too much nicotine in it
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:44
|
|
|
Isaac posted:Why do lighter cigarettes even exist like duhhh let me breathe in poison smoke but dont let it have too much nicotine in it Think it's more of a taste thing? I know Blues/Reds tend to have a different taste and I just don't like the strong taste of the Reds. I mean they aren't bad if I'm just bumming one but I wouldn't go out of my way to get em.
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:47
|
|
|
Windows 98 posted:If I was a conservative none of this would have happened because I would have owned a gun and wouldn't need to use melee weapons imo
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:52
|
|
|
Isaac posted:I just realised my girlfriend bouhjt me blue flavour cigarettes instead of reds. Im gonna have to smoke a hundred of these. smoke them with your butt
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:53
|
|
|
Isaac posted:Why do lighter cigarettes even exist like duhhh let me breathe in poison smoke but dont let it have too much nicotine in it the reds hurt my throat the blues did not 
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:54
|
|
|
AbbadonOfHell posted:Think it's more of a taste thing? I know Blues/Reds tend to have a different taste and I just don't like the strong taste of the Reds. I mean they aren't bad if I'm just bumming one but I wouldn't go out of my way to get em. Some reds are gross but not champion ruby. If cigarettes didnt cost $55 a pouch i wouldnt be so upset. Does anyone in gbs want a mostly full pouch of champion blue. You have to come to me.
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:55
|
|
|
What is this, DnD?
Crowsbeak fucked around with this message at 03:01 on Nov 20, 2015 |
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:56
|
|
|
skud dookie
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:58
|
|
|
This wouldnt have happened if the government didnt make all the packets the same colour. Im gonna call the prime minister and give him a piece of my mind.
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 02:59
|
|
|
there is no credible threat to the country right now and i feel much safer knowing you are in charge, OP
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 03:01
|
|
|
wow rude posted:the reds hurt my throat the blues did not See I need them real throat rippers I gotta really FEEL it. Otherwise what's the point? That's why I always snap the filters off. Isaac posted:Some reds are gross but not champion ruby. If cigarettes didnt cost $55 a pouch i wouldnt be so upset. What the gently caress is packets? I'm thinking like a loose bag with a metric number of cigs enclosed
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 03:03
|
|
|
how do we get your food pyramid on a billboard in alabama?
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 03:07
|
|
|
Good thread op
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 03:29
|
|
|
dad gay. so what posted:there is no credible threat to the country right now and i feel much safer knowing you are in charge, OP I'm not in charge of anything other than what save slot my Sonic game is on
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 04:16
|
|
|
lol like the pyramid would watch obesity crush jesus
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 04:18
|
|
|
it took you a very long time to uncover secrets like that
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 04:25
|
|
|
wow rude posted:OP's hierarchy of needs
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 04:48
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 23, 2024 14:34 |
|
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPKnXIB1thI
|
|
#
?
Nov 20, 2015 04:54
|
|