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We all know there are some movies that make no god drat sense or have giant plot holes. For instance we know that Star Wars has some scientific inaccuracies. Loads of people have gone over it and I am not going to cover it here as it has been done to death. Ancient Rome didn't have Russle Crow save everyone like a badass as portrayed in Gladiator, and so on. There are also a lot more popular movies that people love that they don't even realize are full of inaccuracies. Fire we must ask why inaccuracies are bad. Well, inaccuracies show poor research or that perhaps the person writing it is just a giant idiot and forgot about important plot points which can draw us out of the world that has been created for us to enjoy. There were many times I was sitting in the theater watching Frozen alone, and I was fuming. Not only does ice magic not work that way but the very concept of an ice palace is loving dumb. You would be slipping over all the god drat time, you would kill yourself on those stupid as gently caress stairs. Granted she would not freeze to death due to being a Cryomancer, but she would certainly starve to death due to there being no place to correctly prepare food. You can not cook food using ice!! But I digress. I will try to keep this as short as I can. Here are some popular movies that you idiots seems to enjoy despite them being totally in the realms of bad fantasy. Without further delay, I present...  Movie number one - The Shawshank Redemption:  This movie is so ludicrously wrong about so many things that I am surprised people didn't spit on the cardboard cut outs in the cinemas! Firstly I will address the most serious issue. How the gently caress does this dumb rear end librarian managed to use a spoon to dig his way out of jail. Yeah okay buddy, don't use that to SHANK people like the name suggests. Use it to build a secret tunnel to try and get out. What the gently caress what an idiot. The writers also forgot that bricks are spoon proof!! They have all been blessed by many high ranking witch doctors from many forms of escape magic, and also from being chipped away by things. You also mean to tell me that he didn't die of an infection from crawling through literal poo poo for like 10 whole minutes!? He probably would have died gagging and throwing up everywhere, there is no way that's even close to a real thing. You morons are all vexed by the lovely voice of Morgan Freeman that you didn't even notice he wasn't actually in the movie! That's right, that is actually famous comedian and actress Sarah Silverman! Mr Morgan Freeman came in at a later date and simply recorded all his dialog and they added it in in post. The trick behind this is they made the Silverman eat a heap of peanut butter so it looks like she is actually talking, but she isn't! Sarah Silverman has famously been quoted as saying "...That was the lowest point of my life. Stephen King was always on set and he would sit there rubbing his belly as they fed him orange jelly the entire time. I was so ashamed of being a part of that awful movie I am glad everyone mistakenly remembers my part being played by Morgan Freeman." Movie number two - The Lord of the Rings Trilogy:  I will first dismiss the first issue most people have with this movie. Eagles are deadly afraid of hobbits due to their hairy feet and pointed ears so it's literally impossible to have flown the ring to Mordor. Now, onto the real problems... They could have used that helicopter they used to get those sweeping shots to fly to Mordor. Like, holy poo poo. None of the orcs or anyone had Anti-Air missiles or weaponry at that time. It could have easily have been done, and Sauron wouldn't have been able to do poo poo about it. "What about the magic? Couldn't Christopher Lee have shot down the helicopter with magic missiles?" Yes you are 100% correct. Except for the fact that Christopher Lee is a little bitch! Gandlaf loving owned him in the second movie. They could have just waited until then to have flown over. There are also some less obvious things wrong with those movies. For one that elf check that Aragorn was boning was kind of hosed up. Wasn't she like 200 or some poo poo? He was like, max, 25 at the start of these movies. No wonder her dad was so against the whole thing! Not really a plot whole I guess just something that's kind of hosed up. Major point number two would be that Gandalf is pretty loving lazy. He never shows up on time for anything, says these stupid excuses and takes all the best jobs. "Hey don't worry guys you guys fear for your loving lives and fight to survive I am just going to go chill out with my wizard friends lol". What a loving jerk. No wonder Christopher Lee tried to kill him!! Movie number three - Guardians of the Galaxy:  That's the offical movie poster by the way. They can't even spell the god drat name right LOL! Its "Guardians Of the Galaxy" not "Guardians De La Galaxy" you loving morons hahahaha. Few things wrong with this movie, but this is more of a nerd rage one. First I do want to give props to the writers though. They finally made it obvious that Superman is in fact autistic. I am not sure why they beefed him up and changed his skin color and renamed him to Drax though. Also, why the gently caress is batman a god drat rat now?? I am happy that Aquaman finally got to look awesome and likes 80's music and owns his own ship and has a great sense of humor! But come on this basically looks nothing like the comic books! They are suppose to solve crimes on EARTH not fight aliens on some unknown planet or some poo poo. Also, they are suppose to be the good guys!! Why the gently caress do they go to prison? Is this people trying to be more edgy because of the Nolan movies? Come on guys this is just pathetic. Captain Planet is the wrong gender, but I am glad they got rid of his mullet. That thing was so outdated lol. The Hulk re-imagined as a tree is loving dumb though. It's not even from the same comic book makers why the gently caress he is a DARK HORSE character what is he doing in this movie? Howard the Duck at the end was pretty awesome though and I hope they make another Howard the Duck movie. I think they were just trying to hard to get a tumblr crowd, much like the Thor movies did. Thanks for reading this far! Share your own gripes you have with movies that everyone seems to love, or even ask if a movie you love is actually wrong about a lot of stuff. I am quite the movie buff so I am sure to know pretty much any movie you throw at me. I stopped at three as I it was already getting long enough, if I kept going there wouldn't be an end! Thanks, and as they say in my favorite movie, The Godfather Part 3, "The Matrix is a system..."
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Nov 21, 2015 11:26
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 16:36 |
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please do not disparage the movie shawshank redemption ever again you stupid rear end in a top hat
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Nov 21, 2015 11:33
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dad gay. so what posted:please do not disparage the movie shawshank redemption ever again you stupid rear end in a top hat gently caress you dad gay its a movie for idiots
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Nov 21, 2015 11:36
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Jukeboxblues posted:gently caress you dad gay its a movie for idiots your brain problem seems to be "presenting" again, seek help immediately
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Nov 21, 2015 11:38
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you should try being dead and gay like the forums instead of just gay
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Nov 21, 2015 11:41
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I just wanted to let you know I didn't read all that poo poo and gently caress you.
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Nov 21, 2015 11:41
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fiction can't be 'inaccurate'. It can only be inconsistent. I hope you one day understand this.
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Nov 21, 2015 11:41
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Jim Barris posted:fiction can't be 'inaccurate'. It can only be inconsistent. I hope you one day understand this. It can be inaccurate if it is trying to portray certain events or fears of humans. For instance in the movie Harry Potter it is trying to prove that wizards are cool as well as smart. It does none of these, and is therefore an inaccurate representation of any wizard. Idiot.
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Nov 21, 2015 11:44
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Romes128 posted:I just wanted to let you know I didn't read all that poo poo and gently caress you. So sorry for trying to have an intellectual discussion here buddy. It wouldn't surprise me if an idiot like you was actually one of the writers for Shawshank. 
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Nov 21, 2015 11:46
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please source your quotes
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Nov 21, 2015 11:46
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Broenheim posted:please source your quotes It was taken from issue 182 of Rolling Stones Magazine. Sorry.
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Nov 21, 2015 11:47
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Jukeboxblues posted:It can be inaccurate if it is trying to portray certain events or fears of humans. For instance in the movie Harry Potter it is trying to prove that wizards are cool as well as smart. It does none of these, and is therefore an inaccurate representation of any wizard. Idiot. I find it bizarre that you specified 'humans' in that first sentence. You almost had a convincing impression of a person, robot, but im not fooled.
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Nov 21, 2015 11:48
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Jukeboxblues posted:So sorry for trying to have an intellectual discussion here buddy. It wouldn't surprise me if an idiot like you was actually one of the writers for Shawshank. keep trying to have that intellectual discussion it'll happen one day
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Nov 21, 2015 11:48
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Jim Barris posted:I find it bizarre that you specified 'humans' in that first sentence. You almost had a convincing impression of a person, robot, but im not fooled. im not a robot you idiot im from another dimension
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Nov 21, 2015 11:49
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Romes128 posted:keep trying to have that intellectual discussion It happens all the time at my local comic book shop thanks. 
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Nov 21, 2015 11:49
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there is a mathematical equation that formally defines this phenomenon. Here it is: Dm = Da That is, the dumbness of the movie matches the dumbness of the audience. This relation can be explained by the fact that dumb movies reduce the intelligence of the audience to the point of equilibrium. This explains Trekkies and a lot more besides. So read a motherfucking book. ... Dr. Stupid signing off. See ya tomorrow kids, same time same station. E: God, whatever you do, never ever watch Three Men and a Baby. You'll be carried off in a stretcher if you do, with a bucket to catch your brains as they run out your nose. E2: Burn your television. zimboe fucked around with this message at 13:49 on Nov 21, 2015 |
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Nov 21, 2015 13:43
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dont worry op in trumps america all movies will be about hero soldiers and apple pie and how all brown people want to rape and eat us -- 100% accurate always
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Nov 21, 2015 14:17
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A misanthrope posted:dont worry op in trumps america all movies will be about hero soldiers and apple pie and how all brown people want to rape and eat us -- 100% accurate always ok but what about reptilian invaders and awakened mummies from ancient egypt that are here to kill us starring Brendan Fraser?
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Nov 21, 2015 14:32
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OP is crazy if he thinks I'm going to scroll back and forth every line to read his dumb opinion about movies.
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Nov 21, 2015 14:41
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i dont watch a lot of movies theyre too loving long and i get distra
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Nov 21, 2015 14:53
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:OP is crazy if he thinks I'm going to scroll back and forth every line to read his dumb opinion about movies. Its not dumb its well informed and actually really well written.
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Nov 21, 2015 14:56
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Jukeboxblues posted:ok but what about reptilian invaders and awakened mummies from ancient egypt that are here to kill us starring Brendan Fraser? i dunno lol
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Nov 21, 2015 15:11
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whoflungpoop posted:i dont watch a lot of movies theyre too loving long and i get distra Heh. Heheh.
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Nov 21, 2015 15:15
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I sense that the OP is not really an expert on ice magic
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Nov 21, 2015 15:29
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dad gay. so what posted:please do not disparage the movie shawshank redemption ever again you stupid rear end in a top hat shawshank redemption is a movie for idiots E:FB
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Nov 21, 2015 15:45
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Now do Fallout 4, OP!
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Nov 21, 2015 15:58
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Jukeboxblues posted:Its not dumb its well informed and actually really well written. I guess I'll never know.
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Nov 21, 2015 15:58
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I actually skimmed through all that and saw you were making jokes and stuff Op. I'm afraid no one will ever know though.
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Nov 21, 2015 16:19
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You can talk poo poo about guardians of the galaxy but DON'T YOU EVER TALK poo poo ABOUT SHAW-SHANK REDEMPTION!
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Nov 21, 2015 16:23
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These posts are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them.
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Nov 21, 2015 16:49
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dad gay. so what posted:please do not disparage the movie shawshank redemption ever again you stupid rear end in a top hat It's a movie for the very very very white.
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Nov 21, 2015 16:53
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I would like to suggest Bad Boys 2. We all know white cops kill black people so why do Mike and Marcus kill so many black men? Otherwise, it is a cinematic masterpiece that only Michael Bay could pull off.
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Nov 21, 2015 16:56
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Pththya-lyi posted:I sense that the OP is not really an expert on ice magic gently caress you Applewhite posted:Now do Fallout 4, OP! Maybe in a couple of weeks when I actually get around to playing it so I can have a well informed opinion on it! Dirk Squarejaw posted:I would like to suggest Bad Boys 2. We all know white cops kill black people so why do Mike and Marcus kill so many black men? Otherwise, it is a cinematic masterpiece that only Michael Bay could pull off. This is actually one of the more accurate movies that have been made. You see, at the start when they were trying to bust the Klu Klux Klan members for dealing ecstasy the Grand Dragon hypnotized Mike (which is why the radios were malfunctioning. Technology goes a bit weird when really powerful magic is involved!). That's the real reason why he shot Marcus in the buttocks! Marcus is just a psychopath and enjoys killing anyone so he didn't really need a reason to do so. They jump at the chance to take on this Haitian gang and before you know it they kill like, at least seven dudes. Crazy! Although the one thing that they did leave out was the psychic investigators. They have been known to solve many many cases and they weren't even included in this movie! It is just a disservice to a very important branch of the police force.
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Nov 22, 2015 03:37
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the op is a dumb rear end in a top hat fucker whats the best tim robbins movie? i'm partial to bull durham
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Nov 22, 2015 03:42
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Nefarious 2.0 posted:the op is a dumb rear end in a top hat fucker Howard the Duck by far. And maybe it is you who is the dumb rear end in a top hat fucker! You're the one with gay lovers as your AV after all.
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Nov 22, 2015 03:48
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Cant be bothered to read the OP because you hosed up the picture sizes and I dont feel like hunting your retarded words down
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Nov 22, 2015 04:03
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those two guys in new york dug their way out of jail so I'm pretty sure its possible
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Nov 22, 2015 04:04
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Romes128 posted:I just wanted to let you know I didn't read all that poo poo and gently caress you.
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Nov 22, 2015 04:19
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are you the kind of guy who gets really angry when watching movies if the stuff that happens in them isnt 100 percent scientifically accurate? if so everyone hates you.
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Nov 22, 2015 04:26
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 16:36 |
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Vulture posted:are you the kind of guy who gets really angry when watching movies if the stuff that happens in them isnt 100 percent scientifically accurate? if so everyone hates you. you obviously didn't even read my first paragraph. I said small things are fine, but big things annoy me. Moron.
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Nov 22, 2015 04:29
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