The song, "Yankee Doodle" is the most retarded thing I have ever heard

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > The song, "Yankee Doodle" is the most retarded thing I have ever heard

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a bay: Oct 14, 2014; by Lowtax

wikipedia posted:

Yankee Doodle went to town
A-riding on a pony,
Stuck a feather in his cap
And called it macaroni.
[Chorus]
Yankee Doodle keep it up,
Yankee Doodle dandy,
Mind the music and the step,
And with the girls be handy.
Fath'r and I went down to camp,
Along with Captain Gooding,
And there we saw the men and boys
As thick as hasty pudding.
[Chorus]
And there we saw a thousand men
As rich as Squire David,
And what they wasted every day,
I wish it could be saved.
[Chorus]
The 'lasses they eat it every day,
Would keep a house a winter;
They have so much, that I'll be bound,
They eat it when they've mind ter.
[Chorus]
And there I see a swamping gun
Large as a log of maple,
Upon a deuced little cart,
A load for father's cattle.
[Chorus]
And every time they shoot it off,
It takes a horn of powder,
and makes a noise like father's gun,
Only a nation louder.
[Chorus]
I went as nigh to one myself
As 'Siah's inderpinning;
And father went as nigh again,
I thought the deuce was in him.
[Chorus]
Cousin Simon grew so bold,
I thought he would have cocked it;
It scared me so I shrinked it off
And hung by father's pocket.
[Chorus]
And Cap'n Davis had a gun,
He kind of clapt his hand on't
And stuck a crooked stabbing iron
Upon the little end on't
[Chorus]
And there I see a pumpkin shell
As big as mother's bason,
And every time they touched it off
They scampered like the nation.
[Chorus]
I see a little barrel too,
The heads were made of leather;
They knocked on it with little clubs
And called the folks together.
[Chorus]
And there was Cap'n Washington,
And gentle folks about him;
They say he's grown so 'tarnal proud
He will not ride without em'.
[Chorus]
He got him on his meeting clothes,
Upon a slapping stallion;
He sat the world along in rows,
In hundreds and in millions.
[Chorus]
The flaming ribbons in his hat,
They looked so tearing fine, ah,
I wanted dreadfully to get
To give to my Jemima.
[Chorus]
I see another snarl of men
A digging graves they told me,
So 'tarnal long, so 'tarnal deep,
They 'tended they should hold me.
[Chorus]
It scared me so, I hooked it off,
Nor stopped, as I remember,
Nor turned about till I got home,
Locked up in mother's chamber.
[Chorus]

None of this poo poo makes any sense at all and the words dont mean anything. Whoever wrote this song is a god drat idiot who just put random words together until they rhymed and he was probably having a good time at it too on account of being an actual retard. I bet the people that know the words to this song and sing it all the time are probably not too bright but through some miracle they are capable of wiping their own asses while whistling their favorite song "Yankee Doodle". I am afraid to look and see if there is a more retarded song than this in all of existence because I feel like I am losing brain cells every time I even remember that this song is a thing.

# ? Nov 21, 2015 20:40

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 06:52

NotSockAccount: Nov 18, 2015; by Lowtax

If you really look at the chorus upside down, they clearly espouse communist propaganda.

# ? Nov 21, 2015 20:42

wiffle ball bat: Oct 2, 2015; by Shine

the song is about you, op

# ? Nov 21, 2015 20:43

symbolic: Nov 2, 2014

apparently he wants to be "handy" with the "girls" :mmmhmm:

# ? Nov 21, 2015 20:44

a bay: Oct 14, 2014; by Lowtax

wiffle ball bat posted:

the song is about you, op

I wouldnt be surprised because it seems like morons are always trying to tell some kind of poo poo about me

# ? Nov 21, 2015 20:46

a bay: Oct 14, 2014; by Lowtax

They say 'deuce' like 5 times in this song and I have never heard any body under the age of 30 or something say that

# ? Nov 21, 2015 20:50

rotinaj: Sep 5, 2008; Fun Shoe

Yankee Doodle was written back when white people controlled the music industry, and hadn't heard a black person sing yet, therefore it's trash

I think it's from like the 1950s or something

# ? Nov 21, 2015 20:55

lilljonas: May 6, 2007; We got crabs? We got crabs!

People back in the days were all mildly retarded. These lovely lyrics make Pitbull look like Leonard Cohen.

E: holy shitballs, ancient British hipsters explains some of the weird lyrics

quote:

Young men who had been to Italy on the Grand Tour had developed a taste for macaroni, a type of Italian food little known in England then, and so they were said to belong to the Macaroni Club.[5] They would refer to anything that was fashionable, or � la mode, as "very maccaroni". [6]

lilljonas fucked around with this message at 20:59 on Nov 21, 2015

# ? Nov 21, 2015 20:56

Harald: Jul 10, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

a bay posted:

They say 'deuce' like 5 times in this song and I have never heard any body under the age of 30 or something say that

revved up like a deuce

# ? Nov 21, 2015 20:59

Phobic Nest: Oct 2, 2013; You Are My Sunshine

When I was little I had a Smurf album with all of this on it. I have a hard time imagining kids on either side of the pond enjoying listening to that.

# ? Nov 21, 2015 21:00

A Stupid Baby: Dec 31, 2002; lip up fatty

Its a song about how american colonists are backwards or something but its sung by british so inbred they couldnt get out of taking a mostly fatal boat trip to said backwater colony

# ? Nov 21, 2015 21:34

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

A Stupid Baby posted:

Its a song about how american colonists are backwards or something but its sung by british so inbred they couldnt get out of taking a mostly fatal boat trip to said backwater colony

during the war of 1812 both sides played the tune at each other without a hint of irony

# ? Nov 21, 2015 21:43

ShaqDiesel: Mar 21, 2013

I took a stroll down to the square
While feeling rather randy
I meant to give a buggering
Unto a local dandy

# ? Nov 21, 2015 21:58

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

My balls are very macaroni op. Extreme macaroni.

# ? Nov 21, 2015 22:02

A Stupid Baby: Dec 31, 2002; lip up fatty

Fojar38 posted:

during the war of 1812 both sides played the tune at each other without a hint of irony

well our national anthem is literally a (quite good) poem set to an old british drinking song. my mom got mad at me when i pointed that out when she complained people messed with the tempo too much

# ? Nov 21, 2015 22:12

drunk dog: Apr 6, 2014; Resident Millennial

no it just needs an update https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LP864oBWxeM

# ? Nov 21, 2015 22:14

Code Jockey: Jan 24, 2006; 69420 basic bytes free

ShaqDiesel posted:

I took a stroll down to the square
While feeling rather randy
I meant to give a buggering
Unto a local dandy

# ? Nov 21, 2015 22:17

Mariana Horchata: Jun 30, 2008; College Slice

State song of Connecticut, New England's worst state.

iirc the State song of Massachusetts is Roadrunner, if not then it should be.

# ? Nov 21, 2015 22:18

Sparr: Jan 17, 2006

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGZ_DanugUE

# ? Nov 21, 2015 22:21

I Said No: May 21, 2007; jesus dude ur gonna kill someone with that av

Phobic Nest posted:

When I was little I had a Smurf album with all of this on it. I have a hard time imagining kids on either side of the pond enjoying listening to that.

oh my god i am so sorry
are you okay

# ? Nov 21, 2015 22:25

Dr Cheeto: Mar 2, 2013; Wretched Harp

lilljonas posted:

E: holy shitballs, ancient British hipsters explains some of the weird lyrics

No loving way

# ? Nov 21, 2015 22:27

cthulusnewzulubbq: Jan 26, 2009; I saw something
NASTY
in the woodshed.

im the slapping stallion in mothers chamber

# ? Nov 21, 2015 22:30

The Grimace: Sep 18, 2005; Are you a BigMac of imbeciles!?

I always liked the chorus when I heard it in old Looney Toons and I knew that it was a British song making fun of American Colonists/Revolutionaries, but jesus christ I never knew that the song itself was so unnecessarily long. eww

# ? Nov 21, 2015 22:30