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Weener Beater
May 4, 2010

A misanthrope posted:

before i die iwill gently caress the bigfoot



drat. Nice rack

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Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
Snu-Snu.

Nascardad
Oct 22, 2009

"Racing is in my blood, I can't quite get out of it yet"
he is real...if you don't think so you are not my friend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHcVNAuFK1Y

Otto Von Jizzmark
Dec 27, 2004
Sorry dorks bigfoot is real.

Bill munns proved that the patterson gimlin could not have been a hoax

http://www.themunnsreport.com/
http://www.isu.edu/rhi/pdf/Munns-%20Meldrum%20Final%20draft.pdf
http://www.amazon.com/When-Roger-Patty-William-Munns/dp/1500534021

Microwaves Mom
Nov 8, 2015

by zen death robot

A misanthrope posted:

twist: one of those loving sjw FEMALES (probably a lesbo) friendzones bigfoot so he shaves a bit, gets a fedora and joins the MRA gamergate crusaders



you tell me that aint a shaved bigfoot

Holy poo poo, we found bigfoot.

Smelly Bohemian
Aug 20, 2015

by Lowtax

Microwaves Mom posted:

Holy poo poo, we found bigfoot.

I loved bigfoot in Freaks and Geeks.

Microwaves Mom
Nov 8, 2015

by zen death robot

I want her to rip me in half like a chicken being ripped apart to be made into a slim jim.

Maldoror
Oct 5, 2003

by R. Guyovich
Nap Ghost

Microwaves Mom posted:

I want her to rip me in half like a chicken being ripped apart to be made into a slim jim.

i would like her to carry me around and pet me like a cat

(don't call me creepy)

I am Toni Lippi
Aug 16, 2004
some guys are all about the Big foot.

Bismuth
Jun 11, 2010

by Azathoth
Hell Gem

I am Toni Lippi posted:

some guys are all about the Big foot.



:barf: what the hell

hate hoot
Nov 7, 2012

A misanthrope posted:

the bigfoot myth is just a folk memory passed down the generations of an age when homo sapiens encountered homo neanderthalensis and possibly other now-extinct members of the homo genus

hth

I wish all the extinct hominins and other human ancestor types were still around. Imagine how they might integrate (or not) into our society. There'd be little homo floresiensis hobbit guys running around looking for their giant rats and tiny elephants to hunt. They could be companions for children.

Ultimo Hombre
Jul 26, 2015
Les Stroud did a pretty good series on bigfoot, he went about it with an open mind. not like those tards on Finding Bigfoot that claim everything they hear is a "squatch". And apparently he's had two separate encounters in the wilderness with something he couldn't explain.

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

sucks to be right
According to the news sidebar on my Facebook feed The Internet Is Losing Its Mind Over Alleged Sightings Of The Legendary Goatman. Unfortunately it's just some dumb half-man-half-goat cryptid and not a man with a stretchy anus. :(



Ultimo Hombre posted:

Les Stroud did a pretty good series on bigfoot, he went about it with an open mind. not like those tards on Finding Bigfoot that claim everything they hear is a "squatch". And apparently he's had two separate encounters in the wilderness with something he couldn't explain.

I've had two separate encounters in my bathroom with something I couldn't explain but I'm not making TV shows about the mysterious Shitzilla beast of S-Bend Flats.

Gotta love how people jump from "something unexplained" to "extremely detailed and specific theory about a creature that science can't prove doesn't exist!!"

I Love Loosies
Jan 4, 2013


Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

Cryptozoologists love weaving crazy theories about mythic animals like Bigfoot and the Loch Ness monster and the Chupacabra and the Dogman when there's no good evidence that any of them exist. Unverifiable eyewitness accounts and fuzzy indistinct photos don't count for poo poo and when you take those off the table you're left with pretty much nothing. But gently caress it, let's have a couple dozen TV series on the History channel about idiots wandering around the woods at night making whooping noises and knocking on trees, why the hell not.

Well if you have proof it's just regular boring zoology and who gives a poo poo about that

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

Considering the amount of undocumented land on the planet, it wouldn't shock me if a species similar to bigfoot exists in the wilderness. Perhaps they have a low birthrate, long lifespan, and natural predators or other restrictions that prevent their population from growing large enough that they couldn't remain undetected.

As far as the ocean goes, if we know as little about it as people seem to think, why the hell would anyone write off the possibility of creatures such as the loch ness monster or megalodons?

Not to say I believe any of these things exist though, and also not to say I know what the hell I'm talking about.

GABA ghoul
Oct 29, 2011

dog buttz posted:

Considering the amount of undocumented land on the planet, it wouldn't shock me if a species similar to bigfoot exists in the wilderness. Perhaps they have a low birthrate, long lifespan, and natural predators or other restrictions that prevent their population from growing large enough that they couldn't remain undetected.

As far as the ocean goes, if we know as little about it as people seem to think, why the hell would anyone write off the possibility of creatures such as the loch ness monster or megalodons?

Not to say I believe any of these things exist though, and also not to say I know what the hell I'm talking about.

my beloved jabroni,

there are no native primates in NA from which bugfoot could have evolved. there is also no fossil record showing that there was in the past. case closed.

Turtle Sandbox
Dec 31, 2007

by Fluffdaddy

Maldoror posted:

in the 19th century, rumors circulated about a black and white bear in remote parts of china that was really dumb and ate nothing but bamboo

everyone said that's nuts, everyone knows bears are omnivores and they don't live in china and there's no way natural selection would have black and white coated bears

so people were like, we'll let's go get one

but they couldn't

because they live in remote parts of the world where humans don't go, there aren't very many of them so they're hard to find, and they run away as soon as they hear anyone coming

finally they were proven to be real, but only after tons of searching

so it is the same with bigfoot

all of the primate fossils, those are bigfoot's ancestors, not ours

we are offshoots of primates created artifically by aliens sometime in the last 100,000 years who combined their dna with the primate dna to make a slave to mine earth for the aliens

i thought everyone knows this by now

Thanks for the info dump, anyone else have any bigfoot facts that are need to know like this?

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
Russian fighting Yeti.

Wistful of Dollars
Aug 25, 2009

Bigfoot is real and he's my friend.

He's also an rear end in a top hat who drinks the beer but never brings any himself.

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

El Scotch posted:

Bigfoot is real and he's my friend.

He's also an rear end in a top hat who drinks the beer but never brings any himself.

if bigfoot existed tarantino wuold have found him by now and sucked his toes.

Cat Hassler
Feb 7, 2006

Slippery Tilde
My brother was camping in the Cascade Mountains of Washington in like 1976 and when he and his buddy had just gone to sleep some huge thing went rampaging through their campsite. It scattered all the cookware and stuff they'd left outside and either threw or kicked dirt and rocks onto the tent and was making screeching and guttural noises.

I want to believe it was Bigfoot but it was probably a horny make elk that had lost out to another elk in rutting season and went ballistic when he saw the tent and campfire on his way home.

Moon Potato
May 12, 2003

El Scotch posted:

Bigfoot is real and he's my friend.

He's also an rear end in a top hat who drinks the beer but never brings any himself.
He brews his own poo poo. If you're only going to parties where he stiffs everyone, you're not his real friend.

www
Aug 4, 2010

i think i saw i show with Jack Osbourne in it and im pretty sure he found the bigfoot

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

sucks to be right

El Scotch posted:

Bigfoot is real and he's my friend.

He's also an rear end in a top hat who drinks the beer but never brings any himself.

There's a subset of bigfoot researchers called "bigfoot habituators" who believe that the remote area they live in is frequently visited by bigfoot and they have developed a special bond with the creature over many years. They'll leave food or other items out and lo and behold, the next day it has been taken! Bigfoot will leave special 'signs' for them by arranging twigs and sticks in special ways next to paths. Sometimes the bigfoot will play with their horses and twist their manes into primitive tangles.

Of course they refuse to put out automatic game cameras to take photos of the bigfoot (that would betray the special friendship they've developed with these majestic forest giants) and there's completely mundane explanations for all those things that they report (raccoons took the food, the twigs just fall any old way, horse manes get tangles as a matter of course) but no, they want everyone to believe that they're bigfoot's special friend.

Here's a photo of a pony's tangles mane a 'bigfoot habituator' 100% believes was done by a sasquatch:


There was a group of people called The Erickson Project who convinced some well known bigfoot habituators to help them make a documentary about bigfoot and record some footage of the bigfoots they claimed were openly wandering around on their property, in particular a juvenile bigfoot they called Matilda who was apparently very friendly and approachable. This was HUGE NEWS in the bigfoot researcher community for many months. Here's a few samples of the 'evidence' they got:



It's a storebought Chewbacca costume which was dyed slightly darker.

jlechem
Nov 2, 2011

Fun Shoe
Mods merge this thread with the would you pork it or not thread

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_rgKCL5Vpw

empty baggie
Oct 22, 2003

ScrotoTurboSperg posted:

i remember eating a little caesar pizza called bigfoot, the sausages tasted like poo poo

bigfoot is trapped in detroit

It was Pizza Hut, not Little Caesars.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnwbES0MLxo

Commie NedFlanders
Mar 8, 2014

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

dog buttz posted:

As far as the ocean goes, if we know as little about it as people seem to think, why the hell would anyone write off the possibility of creatures such as the loch ness monster or megalodons?

Loch Ness isn't part of the ocean. It's a lake.

Commie NedFlanders
Mar 8, 2014

I am Toni Lippi posted:

some guys are all about the Big foot.



Dangit Peggeh

Commie NedFlanders
Mar 8, 2014

I believe in a big furry teapot out in the woods somewhere

Nessa
Dec 15, 2008

Gigantopithecus was a 9 foot tall, possibly bipedal primate that lived up to 100 000 years ago.

Maybe all the big ape stories stem from the real existence of gigantotpithicus blacki.

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

Animal-Mother posted:

Loch Ness isn't part of the ocean. It's a lake.

I know, it was just misworded, although supposedly it's connected to the ocean through underwater tunnels and poo poo according to something I saw/heard/read a long time ago. No idea where I got that so I have no idea if it's true.

waitwhatno posted:

my beloved jabroni,

there are no native primates in NA from which bugfoot could have evolved. there is also no fossil record showing that there was in the past. case closed.

My completely unfounded scientific theory developed to argue with you is that due to the scarcity of food, big foots ate their dead including the bones, leaving fossils rare if they exist at all. Really though, is a lack of fossil evidence enough to completely discredit the idea of bigfoot? I was under the impression that our fossil record is very incomplete and for the most part, we only know of species that lived in areas conducive to relatively easy discovery. Once again, I'm getting all of this from Discovery channel specials so I have no idea what's true or not.

Ultimo Hombre posted:

Les Stroud did a pretty good series on bigfoot, he went about it with an open mind. not like those tards on Finding Bigfoot that claim everything they hear is a "squatch". And apparently he's had two separate encounters in the wilderness with something he couldn't explain.

If you spend enough time in the wilderness, you will almost assuredly encounter things you can't explain. I believe that most, if not all, of these experiences are just the brain filling in the blanks out of fear. "I saw a large hairy bear creature walking through the woods"

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

sucks to be right
UPDATE

Hundreds of bigfoot experts the world over have continued their efforts to try and find one single verifiable piece of evidence of the alleged creature but have not had any success for over 150 years now. The search continues.

STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER EXCITING UPDATES

Kharnifex
Sep 11, 2001

The Banter is better in AusGBS

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine
this thread is giving me jungle fever

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

sucks to be right
It's the end of the year so it's time for the annual bigfoot evidence roundup! Let's see what evidence has been uncovered this year ....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9NFD6rvBqQ

Yeah, loving nothing. They were pretty much all "We heard a weird sound in the forest and it wasn't any animal we'd ever heard before so it must have been a bigfoot." :rolleyes:

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CountryMatters
Apr 8, 2009

IT KEEPS HAPPENING
bigfoot gets all the best kindle book titles



https://www.amazon.com/SOCCER-ADDICTED-BIGFOOTS-Shifter-Erotica-ebook/dp/B0178X3198/

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