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quote:The Chicago Bears waived quarterback Jimmy Clausen on Monday, a move coach John Fox asserted was prompted by another team's interest in fellow quarterback David Fales. Therefore, the Bears promoted Fales from the practice squad to their 53-man roster and showed Clausen the door.  Noted terrible quarterback Jimmy Clausen has been released, ending his reign of terror over people in Chicago. Look on his lovely footballing works and despair:  In his august NFL career, Jimmy Clausen managed two things. One was tanking the Panthers to Cam Newton. The other is growing this mustache:  Now, Clausen is moving on, perhaps to Baltimore, perhaps to YOUR CITY. The one thing we know is that Clausen cannot play quarterback in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE so he'll probably hang around for the next 500 million years. The Bears are promoting long-haired Colt McCoy impersonator David Fales because some team was literally interested in him. Please share your stories of watching Jimmy Clausen play football and how happy you were when he left your team. e: Well, the poo poo post tag probably fits anyway.
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Nov 24, 2015 01:25
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I wish I still had the picture of Jimmy Clausen as an ostrich that Febreeze drew for me a few years ago.
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Nov 24, 2015 01:41
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Is this thread specifically about how bad he was in the NFL or can we laugh at the times he was terrible at Notre Dame too?
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Nov 24, 2015 01:46
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Maxwells Demon posted:Is this thread specifically about how bad he was in the NFL or can we laugh at the times he was terrible at Notre Dame too?  I have no idea if this is real. Please let this be a real magazine cover.
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Nov 24, 2015 01:53
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http://espn.go.com/college-football/boxscore?gameId=293110087 Jimmy Clausen and the Notre Dame Fighting Irish lost a game where Clausen had 51 pass attempts. Draft him and start him immediately Carolina.
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Nov 24, 2015 01:58
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I blame Tenuta for most of the 09 losses.
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Nov 24, 2015 02:03
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One of my proudest jokes on this here forum was saying Jimmy Clausen is what happens when you feed Johnny Manziel after midnight
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Nov 24, 2015 02:10
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Thank you for leading us to Cam, Pickles. You did your job, tanking the Panthers for that extra needed year. 2010 was the only unwatchable year for me as a Panthers fan since their very first year of existence. There was literally no hope on Sunday, for anything. Even in losses, you can sometimes enjoy an exciting play, or perhaps have a glimmer of hope for a close and competitive game. When Jimmy Clausen is your team's starter, such things become mere vagaries. You can't hope for a win. You can't expect it to be even close. You can't even count on there to even be any sort of well-executed offensive play. 3 loving TOUCHDOWNS IN 13 GAMES AS A STARTER THEN JOHN FOX SIGNED HIM...AGAIN Shiki Dan fucked around with this message at 02:22 on Nov 24, 2015 |
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Nov 24, 2015 02:13
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There's not many quarterbacks I would say no to after watching Mark Sanchez and Geno Smith poo poo themselves on the field for 6 years. Jimmy "Pickles" Clausen is one of of those quarterbacks.
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Nov 24, 2015 02:23
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Maxwells Demon posted:http://espn.go.com/college-football/boxscore?gameId=293110087 More interestingly he had 48 more passing attempts than the other team.
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Nov 24, 2015 02:38
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Bip Roberts posted:More interestingly he had 48 more passing attempts than the other team. Well Navy runs the Flexbone read option, they don't pass other than as a change of pace to catch the other team off guard.
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Nov 24, 2015 02:43
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One Jimmy Clausen is worth two Blaine Gabberts in a pocket
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Nov 24, 2015 02:49
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gently caress notre dame forever amen
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Nov 24, 2015 03:08
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Beautiful Ninja posted:Well Navy runs the Flexbone read option, they don't pass other than as a change of pace to catch the other team off guard.
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Nov 24, 2015 03:21
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I remember when we drafted pickles. I was keen and hype as gently caress. I'd read all sorts of draft stuffs and was happy as poo poo to get a guy coming from a pro style offense to a team with pro-tier as gently caress offensive line and some solid pieces on offense. Then he took the field. He had some early jiiters, and I thought - it's ok, he'll come good he's shown some flashes of being able to read a defense. I watched some games and broke down what he did well and areas he was improving, then he kept sucking, and then he sucked worse and then he sucked real bad ya'll. It was like dating an abusive spouse, or having a drug addict child. You always hoped they would turn it around but then you find them rooting around your mattress at 3am looking for spare change so they don't have to suck dick in a train station mens room for heroin money and it breaks your heart all over again. The craziest thing about Clausen is how badly the Carolina Panthers hosed themselves to actually get him and how much worse they could've made it. See the Panthers draft history is littered with good and bay players, like most above average performing franchises, but Marty Hurney and John Fox very slowly started to unravel. This story all kind of starts with the drafting of DeAngelo Williams. Williams was relegated to second fiddle for a few years, mainly because John Fox is a moron who favours veterans over rookies and young guys no matter their ability, so for a good two seasons Williams was kind of unmotivated, he was more or less a change of pace back filling in for DeShaun Foster, he was also a little bit lazy. Williams turned his career around on the back of two things, one was Vinny Testaverde telling him he was lazy and that he needed to be better able to handle the workload if he wanted to remain in the NFL and an injury to Foster that lead to a solid starting stretch. The Panthers for some unknown reason decided in 2008 that one good running back wasn't enough and used another first rounder on Jonathan Stewart. The reasons for this are kind of argued over, but it's either because Fox (again being a dipshit) wanted a power back or, because Richardson is obsessed with Steelers teams from 30 years ago that ran the ball lots. Either way they burned a first rounder on Stewart. This didn't fix the glaring hole in the roster at the time (tackle) and so they traded back into the first round to fix the turn style at offensive tackle by taking Geoff Otah (a lazy, lazy, oft injured man who is now out of the league) - this idiot seriously chose to get massages at a mall instead of proper rehab with trainers as a panther. This meant that the next year (2009) the team was without a first round pick, the first round trickled along without the Panthers giving much of a gently caress until Everette Brown became available early in the second. Now for those of you who don't remember Everette Brown had a third round grade at BEST from almost all draft pundits. He weighed about 250 pounds and had been used exclusively as a pass rusher in college. He'd check in, charge upfield against a lovely offensive line and get a sack or two. He had no major future in the NFL like most OLB/DE hybird rush backers and it was pretty much well known in NFL circles that he hadn't shown any flashes of translating to the nfl. Of course the Panthers made the smart choice. They traded next years first with the 49ers and drafted this dude to a chorus of boos from fans and snickering from just about everyone else. The next year is the infamous year where the Panthers drafted Pickles. This draft also featured some interesting things, they traded a future second round pick to pick up Armanti Edwards a WR project (QB in college) in the third round mostly because he was a bit of a local hero and could get a few bums in seats, and some bullshit conspiracy about the Pats wanting to take him. Mainly what always sticks in my mind from this period though is the post draft press conference. Marty Hurney in a frank (and more than a little smug) moment mentioned to the media in attendance that Clausen was a guy they had rated as a first rounder and the team was amazed they were able to pick him up in the 2nd. He also mentioned that he spent most of the round looking for a trade partner, offering up to their first round pick next year to secure his services but couldn't find any takers - luckily for the Panthers this was a bit of a rare year where there weren't any really solid teams who'd suffered a season ending injury to their QB getting them a high pick. Above them were franchises in relative disarray who really needed players. As we all know (now) Fox was seeking a contract extension this same offseason which the team wasn't willing to extend to him. Because Richardson is such a cheap rear end in a top hat he literally thought it was better to have a lame duck coach see out his tenure rather than throw his rear end to the curb and start the search again, some have even wagered this line of thinking is part of the reason Rivera didn't get shitcanned after his second year, or early into his third. Fox pretty much threw anyone onto IR who was a little banged up and let the rookies and poo poo players take the field. Of course the team ended up tanking and going 2-14 and ending up with the first round pick. That pick ended up being Cam Newton. So yeah, when thinking of Pickles remember that Marty Hurney was literally dumb enough to try and trade away a first round pick to take Jimmy Clausen. Worse still it's entirely possible that had this trade succeeded Hurney would have ended up staring at the draft the following year without a first and second round pick, the worst team in the NFL literally would've been picking at best 33rd overall, at worst 65th overall because he traded them away to take Jimmy loving Clausen and Armanti loving Edwards. This not only would've taken away the chance for the Panthers to take Newton but also tanked their chances at both, Andy Dalton and Colin Kapernick (up until this year that would've been a big deal). So while I'll always hate Pickles for being himself, I can't hate him too much because without him sucking fat balls we wouldn't have gotten rid of Hurney a few years later, wouldn't have ended up with Cam and if he wasn't such a lovely prospect other teams wouldn't have thought the Panthers were going after their guy instead of a poo poo QB with no future and likely taken the first rounder on offer for the chance to land him. So thanks Jimmy.
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Nov 24, 2015 05:47
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 Free Pickles
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Nov 24, 2015 05:55
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I've blocked that entire season in Carolina out of my head. I never want to think about any of those games ever, ever again. But I'm glad Jimmy was there to tank us and get Cam. Also, lol
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Nov 24, 2015 06:17
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I remember a few weeks ago against Seattle when he ran 20 yards for a 4 yard first down and immediately got up to start talking poo poo.
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Nov 24, 2015 07:19
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I select this thread to be this week's n/v
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Nov 24, 2015 07:23
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news: remember when fiz called out jimmy on twitter about pretending to have a girlfriend? lmao views : 
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Nov 24, 2015 07:28
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Intruder posted:I select this thread to be this week's n/v hail, ming
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Nov 24, 2015 07:29
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The Texans have forsaken their savior TJ Yates, Brian Hoyer named starter vs the Saints
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Nov 24, 2015 07:29
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I remember seeing Clausen and thinking "this motherfucker looks like Beavis."
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Nov 24, 2015 07:37
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSDka1iFtgw
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Nov 24, 2015 07:43
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Please come to Baltimore Pickles. We need talent, and next year's draft might be full of it.
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Nov 24, 2015 07:44
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Chromatic posted:I remember a few weeks ago against Seattle when he ran 20 yards for a 4 yard first down and immediately got up to start talking poo poo. That game was hilarious.
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Nov 24, 2015 07:56
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The Chiefs are two victories away from controlling their own path to a Wild Card slot. Bills @Raiders Chargers @Ravens Browns Raiders If they win out, the final game against Oakland likely has no impact on their playoff chances. What a turn around from 1-5, Jamaal is finished and Andy Reid is on the hot seat.
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Nov 24, 2015 07:57
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More unlikely: Chiefs make the playoffs or Jaguars make the playoffs?
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Nov 24, 2015 07:58
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LiquidFriend posted:The Chiefs are two victories away from controlling their own path to a Wild Card slot. Well I see at least one sure win there
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Nov 24, 2015 07:59
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Ross Angeles posted:Well I see at least one sure win there I was about to say 2-3 but I see what you did there. Hang in there Ross, it's almost over.
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Nov 24, 2015 08:01
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Okay I think it's time we start talking about firing Mike McCoy
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Nov 24, 2015 08:01
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Start?
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Nov 24, 2015 08:01
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HOTLANTA MAN posted:Okay I think it's time we start talking about firing Mike McCoy San Diego really blew everything that Marty built.
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Nov 24, 2015 08:02
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Sorry I have been on a posting vacation and assumed y'all were jizzing all over the Patriots or something in my absence. I don't hate him as a person like I hate Norv Turner Who Should Die of AIDS, but McCoy is as ineffectual as Norv Turner who Should Be Targeted By ISIS at getting players to listen to him and maximizing talent. HOTLANTA MAN fucked around with this message at 08:05 on Nov 24, 2015 |
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Nov 24, 2015 08:03
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Chargers @Titans Colts Falcons @Saints @Texans The Jags have the easiest remaining schedule in the league and are probably going to be 7-9 or 8-8 this season. That will best my 6-10 prediction and I'm not sure how to feel about this.
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Nov 24, 2015 08:14
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LiquidFriend posted:The Chiefs are two victories away from controlling their own path to a Wild Card slot. Their schedule is pretty darn easy compared to other teams.
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Nov 24, 2015 08:18
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The Texans play the Patriots in a few weeks so they'll possibly have a chance to end a second undefeated season  e: Remaining schedule vs Saints @ Bills vs Patriots @ Colts @ Titans vs Jaguars 9-7 is possible but I don't imagine they'll do better than that I'd guess 8-8 Intruder fucked around with this message at 08:23 on Nov 24, 2015 |
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Nov 24, 2015 08:21
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Quest For Glory II posted:based on how the teams are playing... I think the Chiefs could continue to roll. The Raiders struggled against Detroit, we've already seen how inept the Chargers look, and the Ravens are starting Matt Schaub. The game that concerned me the most was @ Baltimore. That was until they lost their starting RB and QB.
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Nov 24, 2015 08:21
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@Jaguars vs Broncos @Chiefs vs Dolphins @Raiders @Broncos I don't see another win on the schedule 
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Nov 24, 2015 08:23
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Ross Angeles posted:@Jaguars Laremy Tunsil come on doooowwwwnnnnn
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Nov 24, 2015 08:25
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